Former vice president and honorary leader of the zombie apocalypse Dick Cheney is not happy with Obama's choices for his second term cabinet:
Former Vice President Dick Cheney said Saturday night that President Barack Obama has jeopardized U.S. national security by nominating substandard candidates for key cabinet posts and by degrading the U.S. military.[…]
Cheney, a Wyoming native, said it was vital to the nation's national security that "good folks" hold the positions of secretary of state, CIA director and secretary of defense.
"Frankly, what he has appointed are second-rate people," he said.
First off, we already know Dick Cheney's primary staffing metric. First, hire Dick Cheney for every position; if that's not possible, reduce the other positions so that Dick Cheney is doing as much of their work as possible.
Second, Dick Cheney is never allowed to talk about what "jeopardizes U.S. national security." Dick Cheney and the boy king saw the Biggest Damn Jeopardizing of National Security Since World War 2 happen on his watch, and responded to it by (1) invading an unrelated country with (2) insufficient forces while (3) shortchanging the actual related things because they were deemed too boring.
Third, Dick Cheney is never allowed to talk about what "degrades the U.S. military" because of that stuff I said, and because if left to the continued wisdom of the Cheney/Rumsfeld "plan" for the military, our entire army would by 2016 consist of one guy whose job it is to call up private mercenaries and get them to do, you know, do all the rest of it.
Since Bush the Younger's ongoing legacy is apparently going to consist of little more than Bush the Younger painting pictures of himself in the tub, it has been left to Cheney to represent the last gasps of deep-thinking Republican military thought. True to form, it consists of calling Democrats weak, ignoring all that actual stuff that's happened, and steadfastly pretending that anyone, anywhere should continue to give your discredited, failure-riddled hack self the time of day. It's a good gig, but the audiences just don't line up for that crap like they used to.