Every Saturday night the infamous Schmahl is here at Topix to post his epic theme song:

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I got no money cuz I got no job
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in awful mess
I blew in town 40 years ago, I ain't seen a lotta girls since then
If I could find'em I could get'em but as yet I haven't met'em
That's why I'm in the shape I'm in ohhhh....

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I got no money cuz I got no job
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in awful mess
Another fella told me he had a sister that looked so fine
Instead of being my deliverance, she had a strong resemblance
To a cat named Frankenstein ohhhh....

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I got no money cuz I got no job
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in awful mess
It's hard for a fella, when he don't know his way around
If I can't find me a honey to help me spend her money
I'm gonna have to blow this town ohhh....

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I got no money cuz I got no job
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in awful mess....