Lawton

Minneapolis, MN

#1 Jan 29, 2013
The Best Joke EVER

A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his wallet & all of his identification.

Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home, but was stopped by the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.

"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent. "I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy.

"Sure, Buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.

"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt & George Bush on the other."

"This I gotta see," replied the agent.

With that, the guy dropped his pants & showed the agent his behind.

"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to Chicago."

"Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago?"

The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#2 Jan 29, 2013
Looks like Layton is the middle and your tongue is dirty from servicing SL !
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#3 Jan 29, 2013
Looks like Lawton is the middle and your tongue is dirty from servicing SL !
Amused Slew

Minneapolis, MN

#5 Jan 29, 2013
Amused Slew wrote:
Looks like Lawton is the middle and your tongue is dirty from servicing SL !
This is so sad. The Spell Check Queen of Topix has fallen from her throne. The Queen is dead! RIP my beloved Spell Check Queen.
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#6 Jan 29, 2013
Keep posting, someday you'll say something intelligent, just not soon ! LMAOROTFU~!
Amused Slew

Minneapolis, MN

#8 Jan 29, 2013
Amused Slew wrote:
Keep posting, someday you'll say something intelligent, just not soon ! LMAOROTFU~!
I am not the Spell Check Queen of Topix. OOPS! LMAOROLFU~! You used to be the Spell Check Queen.
Amused Slew

Seattle, WA

#9 Jan 29, 2013
When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it ? You or your wife ???
Amused Slew

Minneapolis, MN

#10 Jan 29, 2013
Amused Slew wrote:
When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it ? You or your wife ???
More redeemer jokes. I am going to have to have a serious talk with that dude for messin' with my husband.
Philo Beddoe

Mesa, AZ

#13 Jan 29, 2013
The Truth wrote:
Best joke ever = Schmahl.
Is the Barracuda Restaurant still open in Chișinău?
Philo Beddoe

Mesa, AZ

#14 Jan 29, 2013
Apparently, the Topix site does not like the Moldovan alphabet. That word was supposed to be Chisinau of course.
redeemer

Minneapolis, MN

#15 Jan 29, 2013
Philo Beddoe wrote:
Apparently, the Topix site does not like the Moldovan alphabet. That word was supposed to be Chisinau of course.
Call and find out

Since: Feb 13

Minneapolis, MN

#16 Feb 3, 2013
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills."

Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"

The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."

The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"

The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and I sleep better at night."

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