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1 - 17 of 17 Comments Last updated Mar 18, 2013
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#1
Mar 4, 2013
 
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in a... wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn't rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.

Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

Alright, well I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.
DSM Local

Ankeny, IA

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#2
Mar 4, 2013
 
Ralph wrote:
Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Stevens 320 right in the doorway. I gave it 6 shells, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in a... wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business.
While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign right in front of our house. After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn't rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself.
Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it's the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.
Alright, well I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.
Do NOT GO OUTSIDE

CARS ARE KILLING PEOPLE!!!

One is in your garage right now!

The only answer is LIGHT RAIL
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#3
Mar 4, 2013
 
DSM Local wrote:
<quoted text>
Do NOT GO OUTSIDE
CARS ARE KILLING PEOPLE!!!
One is in your garage right now!
The only answer is LIGHT RAIL
There's a bunch of LRT MURDERS!!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfre00_edmon...
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#4
Mar 5, 2013
 
Ban LRTs.
liBeRALs

Minneapolis, MN

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#5
Mar 5, 2013
 
Schmahl, you are REALLY drunk today!
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#6
Mar 5, 2013
 
Guns hurt noone..

People using guns hurt other people.
DSM Local

Ankeny, IA

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#7
Mar 5, 2013
 
Ralph wrote:
Guns hurt noone..
People using guns hurt other people.
No those people were force to do so by those guns that took over their minds. Guns are like parasites that need a host, that is why your chair attempt failed. There is a reason slew doesn't get one at the mental asylum
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#8
Mar 10, 2013
 
Guns can walk and shoot with no human intervention.
Bushwhacker

Kent, WA

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#10
Mar 10, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

Schmahl, you are REALLY drunk today ! You just said you left a gun unattended, dummy !!!
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#11
Mar 10, 2013
 

Judged:

1

DSM Local wrote:
<quoted text>
No those people were force to do so by those guns that took over their minds. Guns are like parasites that need a host, that is why your chair attempt failed. There is a reason slew doesn't get one at the mental asylum
I didn't know slew was impounded...

Sorry to here it.

Do you know the length of stay?

Those places can drive you nuts, LOL.
Bushwhacker

Kent, WA

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#12
Mar 11, 2013
 
Sorry to "here" it ?? "Man" a dumb gun nut....Go figure.

Schmahl, you are REALLY drunk today ! You just said you left a gun unattended, dummy !!!
Ralph

Minneapolis, MN

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#13
Mar 11, 2013
 
Now wait I KNOW guns can walk around and shoot with NO human intervention.

Guns kill people all the time, guns need to be banned..

BTW, knives also kill and need to be banned.
Will Not fly on a 787

Minneapolis, MN

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#14
Mar 17, 2013
 
Just today I saw a gun walking down the street.

I dialed 911 and the calltaker just laughed..

Even Government doesn't believe they walk..
Will Not fly on a 787

Saint Paul, MN

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#15
Mar 17, 2013
 
You see my pattern, right?

Nuclear Bombs - Can't walk, should be legal.

Gays - Can Walk, should be illegal.

etc, etc
Bushwhacker

Kent, WA

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#16
Mar 17, 2013
 
Sorry to "here" it ?? "Man" a dumb gun nut....Go figure.

Schmahl, you are REALLY drunk today ! You just said you left a gun unattended, dummy !!!
PHD2

Minneapolis, MN

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#17
Mar 18, 2013
 
Fleet Farm is selling .40 Glocks WITH ARMS and LEGS. They claim these guns can aim and discharge themselves with no human intervention.
Bushwhacked

Kent, WA

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#18
Mar 18, 2013
 
Schmahl, you are REALLY drunk today ! You just said you left a gun unattended, dummy !!!

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