A Letter from John Boehner

A Letter from John Boehner

Posted in the Minneapolis Forum


Seattle, WA

#1 May 17, 2013
A Letter from John Boehner
Posted by Andy Borowitz

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Today Speaker of the House John Boehner issued the following letter to the American people:

Dear American People,

Yesterday, your hardworking House Republicans tried, once again, and failed, once again, to repeal Obamacare. And I really thought we had a good chance this time.

That’s because we were all united in our hatred for this infernal and takes-too-long-to-read law. Every last one of us cast his vote to strike it down, from crazy little Paul Ryan to that arrogant bastard Eric Cantor.

And I wish you could have seen the faces of those freshman Republicans as they voted to repeal Obamacare—so innocent, so full of hope and wonder. As I told them yesterday,“You’ll never forget your first time.”

It’s important for you to know that even as scandals swirl about the cesspool known as the White House, some folks in Washington are still working hard for the American people.

It was a gruelling week for me, what with popping up in front of the TV cameras every five minutes saying,“Who’s going to jail?,” plus trying to rid our land of Obamacare. But I don’t want your thanks. Save that for the dedicated House Republicans who have now voted thirty-seven times to repeal. You can’t put a price tag on that kind of performance. Well, actually, you can: it’s cost the taxpayers over fifty million dollars.

And worth every million, damn it.

One last thing. I know some of you are probably thinking that after suffering this latest defeat, we House Republicans are just going to take our bat and ball and go home. Well, there’s an old saying where I come from: the thirty-eighth time’s the charm.


John Boehner

Seattle, WA

#3 May 17, 2013

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Minneapolis Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Funeral held for US soldier at center of Trump ... 2 hr Cat Fan 3
Davycrockett Trash 3 hr Random Forum Crit... 10
Five former US presidents unite for hurricane r... 5 hr LVPD is Incompetent 4
Congresswoman Frederica Wilson 6 hr TAAM 5
Shepard Smith 8 hr Davycrockett 5
WhiteTrash NFL Fans 8 hr CutSplitStacked 19
Man-turned-woman convicted of restroom sex assa... 11 hr Space ace 6

Minneapolis Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Minneapolis Mortgages