in love with someone else

Posted in the Middlesboro Forum

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been there

United States

#1 Mar 20, 2012
My relationship has had its up and downs mostly downs, but I have put forth full effort to make things work and have endured a lot of things I swore I never would. I have left before, but this guy is relentless and never gives up. He just acts uglier and scarier and crazier! It doesn't help that we have a baby together and now he uses her to work on my emotions too. He honestly never stops stalking and scaring me when I leave! I fell in love with someone else a few months ago and of course he has already helped to destroy that relationship. What can I do?
Familiar to me

Winchester, KY

#2 Mar 20, 2012
Bless Your heat, I feel your pain let me tell you, me and another female just discussed her relationship last night and she sounded like you, I've left several times just to end right back in same spot, worse every time. The whole crazy, scary, jealous life gets old. I live it everyday and to hear that another person is living this way hurts me. Get Out, before you can't. Is relationship physical? I'm sorry but had to ask, mine was before I left first time, that's why I left, this time is it's but still crazy. We do argue but don't get bad before he apologizes. You feel stuck. Please post back, this is wild cause me and another female was discussing this last night and we are both in a bad relationship and feel helpless. You are in my heart.
Familiar to me

Winchester, KY

#3 Mar 20, 2012
Heart I meant*
been there

United States

#4 Mar 20, 2012
It used to be physical and he used to be on drugs I have left several times too but I always end up back here again too. I get so sick of 100 questions and being treated like a whore. The last time I left I thought it was for good and felt safer since I was with another man, but he ruined that relationship and now that I am back (bc of all the crazy, scariness) he is even more jealous which I can understand since he never thought I would get with someone else,. When he cldnt find me, he found me thru my sons school. I can't get a restraining order with out physical proof of violence which he doesn't do anymore because I have had one and dropped it and that's not really what I want anyway. I wish we cld make some kind of agreement about the kids and move on peacefully, but even then tried that once and he tried kidnapping our baby! He isn't all bad, just so not for me and I hate our life together now.
Familiar to me

Georgetown, KY

#5 Mar 20, 2012
Please be strong, be as peaceful as you can about it, don't let it change who you are, I know all too well this kind of relationship, I live it everyday, i wear a smile, try to ignore a lot & go on, I have put myself in my own prison, I know this, everyday he does or says something that makes me realize what I have done to myself, he don't care as long as he has me for his image, when everything is peaches & creme he's fine, as soon as something goes out of ordinary close to not his way he's crazy. I have tried to live & look over a lot, I don't want it to change me, I love everybody, get along with everybody, we cant even have company of either sex cause he's so controlling and jealous, that's no life I'm telling you, but sounds like we are living same life, just different men, not saying bad against him, he's a hard working dependant man, just very crazy, controlling, jealous, & mean when he wants to be. No one knows what I go thru, no one has a clue with way i am, my personality, they assume we are happy, well one of us isn't but I don't let on, I keep house in order, feed animals, cook, do clothes, and keep everything in order even bills & I'm a nervous wreck all the time, I don't smoke, go anywhere without him, I don't use drugs of any kind, I'm not perfect but he has no complaints. he walks around with a shi**y grin on his face like world owes him something, brags about other men checking me out & says they are jealous all time. I hate it. Hate another female is going thru this...I read ur post this morning, have thought about you all day. Good Luck & Be Safe. Post letting me know ur ok....
shame

Washington, DC

#6 Mar 20, 2012
Just leave and stay away. More states if u have to. You think this is a good life for your kid? They're gonna grow up to be just like him cause they think it's the norm! Get out!
Familiar to me

Winchester, KY

#7 Mar 20, 2012
I have no kids. Other female I think mentioned she did & you are absolutely right, they live and learn what they hear and se young.
shame

Washington, DC

#8 Mar 20, 2012
Familiar to me wrote:
I have no kids. Other female I think mentioned she did & you are absolutely right, they live and learn what they hear and se young.
If you have no kids it should be much easier to leave. You have to have enough self respect to realize you deserve better than this. Leave him and find a man that will treat you right.
ho ho ho

Pikeville, KY

#9 Mar 20, 2012
sorry for anybody that has that life i am a male that is stupid to treat anyone like that but the reason is because 9 times out of 10 they are doing something there self if u are married u can get a dvo on them sometimes that helps but not all ways stand strong dont live in fear for the sake of your children that is a shame that anyone has to play house with no friends.went thur that with first wife cheating all the time divorced her that is the best thing besides my wife i have know that is one thing that we are not is jealous life is to short to live in fear and jealous.
been there

United States

#10 Mar 21, 2012
I read this yesterday and it hit home 'do you really wanna go out with him knowing your brightest days will only be dim? He's a loser, you can't win.' My man is dependable and works hard which is a lot of why I fell for him. But like you, I can't even live a normal life because of him. Something as simple as looking at the time on my phone provokes an interrigation. Everything I wanna do and say is dumb according to him, he can't be happy this way either! I think he just keeps me for his house charade and because like you I pay most bills and do all of the housework. Really I think we do love each other we just can't coexist peacefully. Something as sweet as an apology ends up in an argument. I can't picture me ever leaving with out the endless craziness. I'm sorry you endure this kind of thing too. Why are you scared when you don't have kids together and he has nothing to hold against you? I would hit the rd before I did get pregnant by him. I'm trying to save money right now and looking for my own place just in case it gets worse.
shame

Washington, DC

#11 Mar 21, 2012
You all are ridiculous! If you're not happy, leave. If you're not gonna leave, quit complaining!!
message of hope

Pikeville, KY

#12 Mar 21, 2012
years ago my sister stayed with her husband because he said he would kill her family well let me tell you something (please don't wait run as fast as you can and never look back) you have zero children with this not quite a man leave and never look at the phone even go with a pre paid phone so he couldn't get the number and leave dont wait till its too late no one should live life in fear
Familiar to me

Winchester, KY

#13 Mar 21, 2012
It's like this, if you haven't had to live this way then you don't know, walk a mile in my shoes then come back then tell me just to leave, complaining, funny! If you can't relate then why are you reading our post in the first place, just to post stupid stuff, well most likely ten times outta 10 you're in same boat or your husband is one...Don't judge! If you don't have something good to say, then post on another subject, thought we leaarned that little.
Familiar to me

Winchester, KY

#14 Mar 21, 2012
*learned*
shame

Washington, DC

#15 Mar 21, 2012
I have been there hun that's why the solution is soo simple.
Familiar to me

Cynthiana, KY

#16 Mar 21, 2012
Living this way is NEVER simple, and some things are easier said than done. Glad you found your way out thou, that is what you are saying?
me too

Mayfield, KY

#17 Mar 21, 2012
shame wrote:
I have been there hun that's why the solution is soo simple.
It might be easier for some to leave. that isn't always the case.

My man threatined to kill my family if i left. said i could leave, but could'nt take our baby with me. His favorite spot to punch me was in my stomack. nobody could see it there. he would not work. but come to my job on pay day to get my check to buy his whiskey. he called the phone company to see who all i called when he was out layhing drunk somewhere. would not life a finger around the house not even to mow the yard.

do'nt judge nobody else. some women has to stay.
been there

United States

#18 Mar 21, 2012
He calls the phone company constantly and says the same thing about I can leave but the baby can't and he hardly ever lifts a finger to help with her
been there

United States

#19 Mar 21, 2012
And its not easy its very hard emotionally financially and when something goes wrong he will be the only person willing to fix it until things are back to the way they were
Familiar to me

Cynthiana, KY

#20 Mar 21, 2012
Well I don't hear any of us complaining, we are consoling in one another because we all have this kind of lifestyle, I don't hear us blaming anyone or bitching about it, just comforting each other & letting it be known each isn't alone, when you give your heart & soul to another person, you live daily praying for change, praying that maybe something you say or do will click then things change, I'm not dumb to his behavior, just very free hearted, very easy going, very understanding, there's no excuses for living this way, I'll be first to say that and admit it, but for people to post that we need to leave like it's as easy as some things are then you haven't live like we have, watch the news, most of the time you can't even get a restraining order unless there has been physical altercation between the both of you, sometimes it's to late, I am appalled at how many people is in a unhealthy relationship, I posted to the first person that posted then now read, this is sad to me. I knew I wasn't alone, I prayed but this is really sad. It's not just women, it's men also. Please if you are going to post, keep a open mind to every body's post and what they are going thru, we are depressed enough without blaming our selves also. God Bless All Of You.

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