My Race Horse

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

MY HORSE, "HANDJOB" RACED TODAY AT GULFSTREAM PARK. IT CAME IN FIFTH BUT I STILL MADE IT TO THE WINNER'S CIRCLE BECAUSE THE WINNING HORSE'S OWNER SAID I WAS HING LIKE MY HORSE..wooooo-woooooo STAYED TUNE SPORTS FANS. THIS THREE LEGGED HORSE WILL BE IN HE KENTUCKY DERBY. YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE. PISTORIUS AINT GOT NOTHING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.

[Hooper from Cooper City]

I was out a Gulfstream yesterday. Yor ore ran as if it had but two legs. As for you, umping up and down in a speedo in the winner's circle whe you horse did oteven come in the money is a bit much sir.

[Confused at Calder]

The horse has a stump. he is a race horse? For real?

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

YOU KNOW THEY USED TO CALL ME "MR. ED"....can youguess why? wooooo-woooo

[Stan Yenz]

ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD wrote:

YOU KNOW THEY USED TO CALL ME "MR. ED"....can youguess why? wooooo-woooo

Your horse run on the courage that you lack. Maybe your ballzzz drag to ground like Ed, but your mind is on first turn. Your stretch run lacks courage.

[Dr Demento]

Stan Yenz wrote:

<quoted text>
Your horse run on the courage that you lack. Maybe your ballzzz drag to ground like Ed, but your mind is on first turn. Your stretch run lacks courage.

Hey HopSing when you speak of courage you should read;
"Contest of Wisdom, Courage and Human Charateristic: Mao Zedong and Chiang Kai-Shek in Battle".

[Dr Demento]

ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD wrote:

MY HORSE, "HANDJOB" RACED TODAY AT GULFSTREAM PARK. IT CAME IN FIFTH BUT I STILL MADE IT TO THE WINNER'S CIRCLE BECAUSE THE WINNING HORSE'S OWNER SAID I WAS HING LIKE MY HORSE..wooooo-woooooo STAYED TUNE SPORTS FANS. THIS THREE LEGGED HORSE WILL BE IN HE KENTUCKY DERBY. YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE. PISTORIUS AINT GOT NOTHING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL CREATURE.

Hey Adam, I heard one of the Cuban married women called you, "Tri-Pod"?

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

Dr Demento wrote:

<quoted text>Hey Adam, I heard one of the Cuban married women called you, "Tri-Pod"?

DOC, MY NUTS ITCH!

[Dr Demento]

ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD wrote:

<quoted text>
DOC, MY NUTS ITCH!

It's all that beach sand, I'm sure HopSing can put together some Chinese herbs to correct the problem.

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

Dr Demento wrote:

<quoted text>It's all that beach sand, I'm sure HopSing can put together some Chinese herbs to correct the problem.

I GOT CROTCH ROT IN COSTA RICA. I HAD IT IN 'NAM IN 1968. USED ALOT OF MUD THERAPY AND SUNSHINE TO DRY IT UP. IT IS NOT AN STD HOWEVER.

[Stan Yenz]

Dr Demento wrote:

<quoted text>It's all that beach sand, I'm sure HopSing can put together some Chinese herbs to correct the problem.

Confuscious say " Adam got funk on his junk!" Need to take a bath in Astragalus.

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

I WILL SEE ALL YOU HOTTIES AT WINTER PARTY ON MARCH 9TH. I WILL BRING "HANDJOB" WITH ME.

[Dr Demento]

Stan Yenz wrote:

<quoted text>
Confuscious say " Adam got funk on his junk!" Need to take a bath in Astragalus.

Now HopSing, if Adam were to take a bath in Astragalus it would increase blood flow to his skin causing thermoregulation, and I'm not sure this is what he needs.
I believe what he needs is for you to step up to the problem and manually correct it.

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

"HANDJOB" TELLS ALL OF HIS HORSE FRIENDS, THAT HE IS HUNG LIKE HIS OWNER.....wooo-woooo

[Stan Yenz]

ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD wrote:

"HANDJOB" TELLS ALL OF HIS HORSE FRIENDS, THAT HE IS HUNG LIKE HIS OWNER.....wooo-woooo

If you spy for the Nationalists in our battle for Marxism than Mao says you are hung like a salami in a New York deli. You disgust me with your like of courage.

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

"HANDJOB" GETS STROKED TO RUN IN THE BIG RACE IN TWO WEEKS AT GULFSTREAM. I WILL KEEP ALL YOU FANS POSTED.

[Dr Demento]

Stan Yenz wrote:

<quoted text>
If you spy for the Nationalists in our battle for Marxism than Mao says you are hung like a salami in a New York deli. You disgust me with your like of courage.

HopSing, lets not forget that Mao worked for the Nationalist Party as a political organizer in Shanghai.

[moderaorCubansca radepinga]

yuu all are lying. That's WJDC horse. Yes the Cuban from PR

[ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD]

THE SUNAVA BEACH CAME IN SECOND ON SATURSAY MARCH 9TH. USELESS CREATURE!!!! MAYBE I NEED TO SHOW HIM HOW IT'S DOEN.

[Draugefil Ohcam Eht Mada]

I am thinking that a race horse named "handjob" will not go over well with parents and the very old. I fully appreciate what you have done with a tree legged horse. But I would implore you to change the horse's name. A dignified creature should have a digified name.