Why do lifeguards suck?

Why do lifeguards suck?

Created by Fed up In Lauderdale on Jul 2, 2010

456 votes

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It ain't a real job

They have delusions of grandeur

They spread STDs

They are never around when you need them

Their speedos are two sizes too small

No drug testing

They rub lotion on you with their tongues

if you get stung by a manowar they will pee on you

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#255 Apr 5, 2011
farah2619 wrote:
sex on the beach is nice
If you let Adam the Macho Lifeguard inject you, you stand a better than 50-50 chance of contracting some anti-biotic resistant clap. In China, we call that a "Mao Tse Tung Ping Pong".
Fidel

Hollywood, FL

#257 Apr 13, 2011
macho.the walking petri dish.lol

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#258 Apr 13, 2011
Fidel wrote:
macho.the walking petri dish.lol
He needs to be castrated.
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#259 Apr 17, 2011
ME HAWNY!

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#260 May 1, 2011
Important job........But some take advantage of it.

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#261 Oct 10, 2011
What ever happened to Michy and Fed up in Lauderdale? They go bye-bye like OctoberKay.
Magic Mike

Miami, FL

#262 Oct 10, 2011
A lifeguard gave me the clap in '85. Enough siad. They are dirty imbeciles.

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#263 Oct 15, 2011
Adam is retiring. You will be missed dear compadre
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Hialeah, FL

#264 Nov 17, 2011
GOLDEN SHOWER POWER!
Dillan
#265 Aug 16, 2012
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD wrote:
HOW DARE YOU?! WE ARE THE BRAVEST OF ALL. BRAVER THAN COPS, FIREFIGHTERS, SOLDIERS, MARINES, OR SPECIAL FORCES. WE ARE THE THIRD LINE OF DEFENSE.
How dare you!?! Try running into burning building like me. Wow you jump in water and pull someone out I deal with medicals, car accidents, fires, hazmat, rescue
Dillan
#266 Aug 16, 2012
Fidel wrote:
<quoted text>wasn't there a case where an englishman who had trouble swimming but was still breathing fine but the lg insisted on giving him mouth to mouth and he got herepes.?
I'm a firefighter/EMT and we arnt aloud to do mouth to mouth recessitation, we put a mask on them to do it
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD
#267 Aug 17, 2012
Dillan wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm a firefighter/EMT and we arnt aloud to do mouth to mouth recessitation, we put a mask on them to do it
HEY NUTSACK, YOU CAN PUT A MASK OVER MY MACHONESS AND GET TO WORK. FIREFIGHTERS ARE SO DAMN OVER RATED. LIFEGUARDS ARE REAL HEROS.
Dr Demento

Dunlap, TN

#268 Aug 20, 2012
Hey Adam, it's a good thing you just retired I hear they are starting to use robot lifeguards.
Now the only issue will be, what will all the old Cuban wives do without you? It's a known fact they can't put up with their "Ricky Ricardo" husbands. I don't think you understand just how many marriages you saved.

“A REAL MAN OF COURAGE! ”

Since: Mar 11

Chinatown, New York

#269 Sep 7, 2012
They suck because they do married Cuban women while on duty.
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#271 Sep 29, 2012
WHY DO LIFEGUARDS SUCK STAN?.........BECAUSE THEY CAN!
Dr Demento

Dunlap, TN

#272 Sep 30, 2012
Stan Yenz wrote:
They suck because they do married Cuban women while on duty.
HopSing, it's the married Cuban women that line up for Adam. Come-on HopSing, Adam is a guy.......what would you do if women lined up for you.........oh yeah, I forgot you are a eunuch, never mind.

“ I WILL EARN YOUR RESPECT!”

Since: Apr 13

Surfside(By way of Manchester)

#273 Apr 28, 2013
They do not suck! They are heroes!
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD

Miami, FL

#274 May 9, 2013
Rod wrote:
Kudoes to "Fed up in Lauderdale" for having the snese to bringing something like this to the forefront. Adam is a piece of turd who need be flushed away.Darn swimming sesspools!
HEY ROD. WHERE TO HELL DID YOU GO?
Dr Demento

Dunlap, TN

#275 May 9, 2013
ADAM THE MACHO LIFEGUARD wrote:
<quoted text>
HEY ROD. WHERE TO HELL DID YOU GO?
I believe his parole officer finally caught up with him.
realdealjumpingP HILL

United States

#276 May 13, 2013
Life guards sit under the hot sun for extended frames of time. The responsibility is difficult but manageable with hydration, discipline, knowledge of preventive precautions and apply pool facility rules. Life guards don't suck lifeguards prevent serious injuries and deaths. Sorry, the old days was different although injury and deaths were more frequent.

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