The adoption search

'You must be short," Dave Mills, 42, of Napanee in Ontario, Canada, remembers saying to his birth mom in the first five minutes of a phone call he waited so long to have.

[Karen C in NY]

I am a 69 year old birthmother who surrendered a son in 1963. I located him in 1998, he wanted no contact. He still doesn't. I send him cards at Christmas and on his birthday. Ms. Boucher is correct in her discription of emotions. However, the guilt, heartache and pain remains. You bury it, try to move on with life, then emotions come back to the surface with ever growing intensity. For me, Knowing my son is alive and successful in his life gave me a sense of peace. I will never give up hope that he will one day want to meet me face to face.

[Ann]

More stories like this, please!

[Mart]

very interest to read and have some help to find the adoption parents that gave up there children and hope that they fine there partents too. Lots of good luck to all

[TONI EPSTEIN]

I TOO, FOUND MY BIRTH SON AFTER 37 YEARS....
THE LAWS OF NY MADE US WAIT THAT LONG....THE LAWS NEED TO BE CHANGED. I SHARE IN YOUR HAPPINESS. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY VOLUNTEERING I MIGHT DO TO HELP SOMEONE..PLEASE EMAIL ME AT [e-mail] HAPPINESS TO ALL WHO UNITE...

[TONI EPSTEIN]

Karen C in NY wrote:

I am a 69 year old birthmother who surrendered a son in 1963. I located him in 1998, he wanted no contact. He still doesn't. I send him cards at Christmas and on his birthday. Ms. Boucher is correct in her discription of emotions. However, the guilt, heartache and pain remains. You bury it, try to move on with life, then emotions come back to the surface with ever growing intensity. For me, Knowing my son is alive and successful in his life gave me a sense of peace. I will never give up hope that he will one day want to meet me face to face.

I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SADNESS YOU FEEL. IT IS TOO BAD THAT YOUR SON WON'T EVEN GIVE IT A CHANCE..HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE IS MISSING...

[bob]

I was adopted in 1957 from the ny foundling hospital.Myadoptive parents were Saints and I felt very guilty while they were alive to look into my past ( which they never kept a secret from me) recently I have tried to look for information which would help me understand my past but what I got has left me even more confused and angry over the laws that prevent me from know who I am. One version has me being born to a women who had 18 live births recorded! the other has me as the son of a "french secretary" who moved back to france nevever to be heard from again.. this isnt how anyone should have to find out something about themselves. Now I am 50. the chances of having any of these people still be alive is getting slim. At this point no ones "feelings" are going to be hurt and the truth has to come out to put MY mind at ease.

[Dee]

I TO WAS ADOPTED WHEN I WAS ABOUT 8 YRS OLD I REALLY DIDNT KNOW TO MUCH OF THE REASONS WHY BUT MY PARENTS THAT RASIED ME ALWAYS WERE OPEN & HONEST BOUT IT .....THEN IN JULY OF 06 MY REAL SISTER CAME LOOKING FOR ME WHICH WAS A TOTAL SHOCK AND YES IT CAN BE VERY VERY OVERWHELMING BUT IN THE END OF IT ALL I TALK TO HER AND MY BIRTH MOM ON THE PHONE BUT UNFORTUNALLY MY BIRTH FARTHER PASSED AWAY BE4 I COULD FIND HIM TO MEET HIM ..I ALSO HAVE A YOUNGER BROTHER BUT FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON HE DOESNT WANT TO MEET ME WHICH IS FINE BY ME ...SO IN THE END OF IT ALL BEING ADOPTED ISNT AS BAD AS PPL MAKE IT OUT TO BE ...YES THERE R SOME BAD PPL OUT THERE THAT TAKE IN KIDS AND ADOPT THEM FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS BUT THERE ARE SOME PPL (LIKE MY FOLKS) THAT ARE GOOD PPL ...

[Tommy]

I am upset with celebirties adopting kids in foriegn countries, because there are so many adopted kids in the United States that need love too. We should be helping our country first and not others. Right!?

[Living in the REAL World]

Tommy wrote:

I am upset with celebirties adopting kids in foriegn countries, because there are so many adopted kids in the United States that need love too. We should be helping our country first and not others. Right!?

RIGHT!

[TONI EPSTEIN]

Tommy wrote:

I am upset with celebirties adopting kids in foriegn countries, because there are so many adopted kids in the United States that need love too. We should be helping our country first and not others. Right!?

Right On!!!!!!!

[joan]

Hi, for anyone who is interested, there are search_support groups.
One for ny is
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nyadoptees

there is the ny state registry.
and more,
Joan

[faust]

TONI EPSTEIN wrote:

I TOO, FOUND MY BIRTH SON AFTER 37 YEARS....
THE LAWS OF NY MADE US WAIT THAT LONG....THE LAWS NEED TO BE CHANGED. I SHARE IN YOUR HAPPINESS. IF ANYONE KNOWS OF ANY VOLUNTEERING I MIGHT DO TO HELP SOMEONE..PLEASE EMAIL ME AT [e-mail] HAPPINESS TO ALL WHO UNITE...

Why should the law change?

If you give a kid up fpr adoption you should have no part in their lives till they are at least 21, after that it should be the child's choice ONLY that decides if you ever meet.

[faust]

Tommy wrote:

I am upset with celebirties adopting kids in foriegn countries, because there are so many adopted kids in the United States that need love too. We should be helping our country first and not others. Right!?

The laws are easier and many of them want to give a child that might die before age 18 a chance at a better life.

Who are you to decide who they let into their homes?

[Toni]

To Faust-The laws should change for the adoptess who want to find their birth parents. It could be changed so that when a person is 18...they would have the opportunity to find their birth parents.
Forty years ago, if you were under 18, you had no choice...we did whatever our parents' wanted us to do. In less you have walked in our shoes, try not to be so unkind. My son had looked for me for more than 25 years and I him....the law stopped us..We were both consenting adults and the law had no right to stop us.

[joan]

Hi, there is search help for most states.
Also MUTUAL CONSENT REGISTRY.

WWW.ISRR.NET

print off the forms, and mail them in.

Plus if you are adopted and relinquished thru ny state, there is a state registry.
for more info
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nyadoptees
Plus there is emotional support on these groups.
Joan

[joan]

TONI EPSTEIN wrote:

<quoted text>
Right On!!!!!!!

Please join us on
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nyadoptees

[joan]

faust wrote:

<quoted text>
Why should the law change?
If you give a kid up fpr adoption you should have no part in their lives till they are at least 21, after that it should be the child's choice ONLY that decides if you ever meet.

Hi, it is the childs choice, or ooops, adults choice to sign up and be reunited.
Adoptees are no longer children at 18. They can fight and die for this country. But they can't get their own personal info.
Thousands are searching. Hundreds are searching for Medical reasons, so they won't die.
More parents are searching all the time, to find the child they relinquished. Adoptees are also searching by the thousands, all over this country.
There will be a Major Protest held in NEW ORLEANS, La. This coming Nov. 2008
Marching for OPen REcords.
Joan

[joan]

You might find this interesting too, its called :
MORE: stands for Mothers for OPEN Records EVErywhere.

http://www.geocities.com/moreopenrecords/page...

[joan]

faust wrote:

<quoted text>
The laws are easier and many of them want to give a child that might die before age 18 a chance at a better life.
Who are you to decide who they let into their homes?

You said it exactly " Who are you to decide who they let into their homes.?"
But you are judging who should be able to find each other.........
Joan

[Toni]

To Joan-
Your points were wonderful and much appreciated...I will look up the website you mentioned...
Thank you for your support.
A BIRTHMOM FROM 1967.......WHO WAS FINALLY REUNITED IN 2005.....