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741 - 760 of 4,103 Comments Last updated Monday Aug 18
Jenifer

Portland, OR

#778 Jan 31, 2014
Kate and charley used alternate means to get the medical forms signed off on to adopt. They used a walk in clinic, like many adopting parents do because but Kate and charley where/are on antidepressants amongst other medications and many country's will not allow adoptive parents to adopt when on antidepressants. There family Doctor would have to be honest when filling out the form whereas the walk in clinic only has the info you provide.
Madi

Cape Coral, FL

#779 Jan 31, 2014
Jenifer wrote:
Kate and charley used alternate means to get the medical forms signed off on to adopt. They used a walk in clinic, like many adopting parents do because but Kate and charley where/are on antidepressants amongst other medications and many country's will not allow adoptive parents to adopt when on antidepressants. There family Doctor would have to be honest when filling out the form whereas the walk in clinic only has the info you provide.
I'm not surprised by this at all.
I've always felt that Kate was a bit of a sneak, even before all this came out.
I wonder what other "alternate means" they used to get that adoption pushed through.

What's so bizarre is that clearly, by reading many of these forum posts, the Parkers had serious health and behavioral issues way before adoption was on the table. Why on earth would you bring more children into the equation if you can't handle the kids you have?(Further, why keep having bio kids after the first 3 or 4 with congenital abnormalities?)

That makes a MSBP situation even more likely, as she would have enjoyed the attention from medical professionals and the attention she received as the saintly mother of all these super sick kids. So in short, more problems = more sick satisfaction.

What's worse, it's parents like this that give all large families a bad name. And they make it more difficult for qualified people to adopt.
local

Grants Pass, OR

#780 Jan 31, 2014
Madi wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm not surprised by this at all.
I've always felt that Kate was a bit of a sneak, even before all this came out.
I wonder what other "alternate means" they used to get that adoption pushed through.
What's so bizarre is that clearly, by reading many of these forum posts, the Parkers had serious health and behavioral issues way before adoption was on the table. Why on earth would you bring more children into the equation if you can't handle the kids you have?(Further, why keep having bio kids after the first 3 or 4 with congenital abnormalities?)
That makes a MSBP situation even more likely, as she would have enjoyed the attention from medical professionals and the attention she received as the saintly mother of all these super sick kids. So in short, more problems = more sick satisfaction.
What's worse, it's parents like this that give all large families a bad name. And they make it more difficult for qualified people to adopt.
Let's all just remember that all these diagnosis came from Kate. Did all her kids really have ALL those issues? From one that has seen the kids in person, I think not. Not to mention their diagnosis fluctuate depending on which site you read.

I just read one of the links that someone posted and Kate said something like...Emily is just a hair off normal with few social skils and it's not because she is home schooled... I absolutely think that's why ALL the kids are "a hair off normal". How could you have good social skills when you are kept in a box and have no friends? They are not like other home schooled families I know that get their kids involved in social activities. I bet none of those kids have even slept over at a friends house or had a friend sleep over. Does anyone know if any of them actually had friends? I know Kate said something about Emily finally having a friend, but I think that was a couple years ago. You would think with that many kids there would be friends over all the time or the kids being at their friends' house all the time. I don't think that ever happened. It would just be one more set of eyes that may call bullshit on Kate. I feel for all those poor kids, not just Joshua and Bethany.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#781 Jan 31, 2014
There are many things about the adoptions that are questionable. For example, how did they meet the financial requirements with 7 kids, one wage earner, and the medical needs that existed. The social worker who cleared them for not one but two children should be sanctioned and investigated. The financial data that needs to be disclosed for international adoption to insure you can support a new family member is nothing to sneeze at. How did they get that woman to sign off? Did their agency question at all?

If, indeed, they are on medications they would have been lying on legal documents used to release these girls into their care. Hopefully, that can be a part of the thinking about these kids going back into their care. If Kate and Charley are willing to lie then what else would they be willing to lie about.
BLynn

Cedar Park, TX

#782 Jan 31, 2014
Ruthless102 wrote:
I noticed in the yahoo group post that she gives the doctors' full names. Yet on CB, she referred to doctors with only an initial (though there was an occasional full last name which I perceived to be a slip on her part). Can anyone explain why she only used initials on CB?
The real Kate Parker

Portland, OR

#783 Jan 31, 2014

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#784 Jan 31, 2014
That's not "our" Kate Parker.
Madi

Cape Coral, FL

#785 Jan 31, 2014
@Local said....
"Let's all just remember that all these diagnosis came from Kate."

Ah, Tous Chez.
You're absolutely correct.
It seems my default is to trust/believe, but that's obviously unwise when it comes to Kate. You're totally right -- many may be fabricated.

____

@Blynn said....
"I noticed in the yahoo group post that she gives the doctors' full names. Yet on CB, she referred to doctors with only an initial."

I'm not sure.
In retrospect, if I had to make an educated guess, I'd say it was due to the fact that many docs/nurses read those CB blogs.
I think it may have been to protect her lies ('Oh, no, Dr. Sibley....I was about the other Dr. S who said that.....")
Whereas it's remote that a doc would find one of her random forum posts so there was no need to conceal the identities.
It's even possible the docs were bending the rules in some way, so she wouldn't want to advertise who it was.

__________

@MomToMyBoys wrote....
" The social worker who cleared them for not one but two children should be sanctioned and investigated. The financial data that needs to be disclosed for international adoption to insure you can support a new family member is nothing to sneeze at. How did they get that woman to sign off?"

Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.
I wondered about the financials too. I think Charley works at a restaurant or some other low skill, low pay job, if I recall properly.
There are also space requirements -- you need to have a certain amount of square footage/bedrooms in your home. Didn't they live in a trailer?

Lots of questions. I hope these come to light somewhere and that whoever approved that epic failure of a home study gets their comeuppance.

I remember seeing a video where Bethany just glares at Kate and Megan. She had this look of sheer hatred -- I remember that I found it shocking as I'd never seen that look of utter malice on such a young child's face.
Perhaps it was the neglect of being taped up or left in one spot all day long, as Kate said she did to her. If I recall properly, she said she just left her sitting there in one spot.
Who would ever think that's okay? That's an orphanage behavior that occurs due to neglect. To allow it to continue in an adopted home is horrific.
Or maybe that was a lie too.

All I know is that video of Bethany haunts me to this day. I wonder what that poor girl has been forced to endure as the result of some social worker's negligence.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#786 Jan 31, 2014
Madi,

Kate described using some controversial techniques for children with a RAD DX. The use of these types of therapies would never be a first line treatment or be used with a child so young. Ignored, denied response, and kept in one area of the house would be awful. Taping a child's hands so she can't touch you or take off her clothes is disgusting.
Danielle

Alpine, UT

#787 Jan 31, 2014
I suspect that she never became an active member of Downsyn for one simple reason.
Those ladies would have CALLED HER ON HER $HIT immediately. They are not gullible over there!

Here are all the other posts by Kate on the Downsyn Forum, many of them are just responses.

Hi! I'm new here too.

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

PTC:

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

Update on PTC:

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

Overseas Adoption?:

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

Grants?:

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

I Didn't Realize:

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

The one already posted: Feeling Really Overwhelmed:

http://www.downsyn.com/phpbb2/viewtopic.php...

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#788 Jan 31, 2014
There was a video at one time of Bethany in the hospital and music therapy came to see her. She was so excited and so happy. She was clapping and smiling. Then she turned and looked at Kate and turned almost ghost white and scared. She would then turn back to therapy and get happy. Then back to Kate and scared. The video just broke my heart, you could tell something was up.

Kate and Megan have also gloated about ignoring the girls until they submitted to them. Kate posted about ignoring the girls until they were willing to accept attention from everyone. Megan bragged about how they were sooo much more smart and stubborn than them. That they would win the battle of wills. They would give in.
Jenifer

Portland, OR

#789 Jan 31, 2014
Charley is a assistant manager of a reasturant and has decent pay plus ssi for many of the kids. One issue thy came up with the adoption was the lack of space all four girls would have been in one room Hannah and Bethany's cribs where put in the closet to make room with Sarah and Emily then when they moved the little girls got the smallest down stairs room.
Madi

Cape Coral, FL

#790 Feb 1, 2014
@MomToMyBoys said....
"Kate described using some controversial techniques for children with a RAD DX. The use of these types of therapies would never be a first line treatment or be used with a child so young. Ignored, denied response, and kept in one area of the house would be awful. Taping a child's hands so she can't touch you or take off her clothes is disgusting."

Yeah, I had a feeling that was the case.
I don't have a child with RAD, but I do have common sense and that tells me it would be awful to restrain or ignore any child (especially a child who has been restrained and ignored for the first 3 years of her life, as is common in many Ukrainian orphanages!)
So awful.

@FeelingUsed said.....
"Kate and Megan have also gloated about ignoring the girls until they submitted to them. Kate posted about ignoring the girls until they were willing to accept attention from everyone. Megan bragged about how they were sooo much more smart and stubborn than them..."

This is truly horrific.
I'd never read this before.
Again, why would you ever think it was okay to ignore a young child who's been ignored and deprived of proper stimulation and love her entire life? Common sense tells you that's going to thrust that child right back into orphanage/withdrawing-in-my-ow n-world-in-a-primal-attempt-to -survive mode. Anyone with an iota of common sense or parenting experience could realize that!

After reading those DownSyn posts, I'll bet this was bit (on outsmarting them by ignoring them) was probably posted 2 weeks after they returned home.

Megan: "Why aren't they over it yet?! It's been 2 whole weeks! They should be normal now! Walking, talking, signing, eating solids -- the whole sha-bang....."
Kate: "Nope, she's not bowing at my feet for rescuing her! Absolutely autistic!"

*shakes head*

Seriously?!?

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#791 Feb 1, 2014
I had no idea that they had been taking meds for depression - when or where did Kate say that? Even if they went to a walk in clinic for the medical portion of the adoption process, they would have had to be honest to the doctor about their medical and mental health history. Same goes for the social worker who conducted their home study. As far as I know Ukraine does not allow parents to adopt if they have been diagnosed with clinical depression. So, they either lied about it to the doctor and social worker, or she never has been diagnosed and just lied about it online.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#792 Feb 1, 2014
Kate used many forums to gather medical information or fundraising information. She was always a good member at first because she was gauging who was powerful, knowledgeable, and useful. It doesn't surprise me to see the forum/group memberships. Even before Joshua was born and with little diagnostic information, she posted on a site about what issues he might face. All of the April Rose and MckMama stuff was a primer in treating people with enough pictures and info while ignoring the naysayers that became textbook Kate in the adoptions, the last 1/2 birthday, bereavement, time off for Charley. Once she figured out how to get people to help with the adoptions she realized that third party asks were better because her personality was mean and offensive if people did not give enough. Friends asked for the money. Kate was thankful but needed privacy. The needs were crisis to crisis with pleas for family privacy at a difficult time. Just enough and the most heart capturing kids. Hannah was too healthy. The other kids were not complicated enough. Bethany even had her own blog--Complicated Bethany.

Kate's caustic and combative personality made it so that people didn't support long. Why no in real life people? Her level of alienation and desire for limited/no accountability made for local support to be difficult to maintain. The internet connection people who did stay were either parents of ill children or readers of CB who had a deep sadness or experiences that made them vulnerable.

Kate's scamming took place with doctors (who if Kate was to be believed) prescribed meds based on Kate's symptom description. At one point, B was also being considered for chiari-- what are the odds? Any medical doctor who prescribed based on Kate's word with no labs and no physical examination should be sanctioned and pursued legally.

It is not a coincidence that the pediatric hospice was unable to help her, the supervisors wanted to assess the kids through their channels, not based on Kate's report. The amount of pain that she described Joshua to be in would have been fairly easy for a hospice to assess if it existed and was not just drug dependence. Kate did not give them access. The only people who had access were the people that Kate could manipulate and overpower for the drugs she wanted.

Joshua's angel vision was, in my opinion, a lead in to a miracle cure that was to happen. Remember he was having specific feedings to get him through the wedding and they would stop. He was doing fairly well but in pain after that. THANK GOD someone made her put him in the hospital that final time where someone for some reason intervened and got him off drugs. I remember her defensive posts about the medication change and the lack of change for his terminal dx.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#793 Feb 1, 2014
I have no idea how a home schooling mother of so many SN kids has the time to be online and active in SO many forums and write such lengthy blog posts on many blogs (adoption, Caringbridge, Bethany's - which I had no idea about until here)! I can hardly keep up on my email, let alone Facebook! She must have spent hours each day juggling all that. And you are right, she almost always had others ask for money for her, saying they (the Parkers) have a hard time asking for money and rarely do it.
momtomyboys wrote:
Kate used many forums to gather medical information or fundraising information. She was always a good member at first because she was gauging who was powerful, knowledgeable, and useful. It doesn't surprise me to see the forum/group memberships. Even before Joshua was born and with little diagnostic information, she posted on a site about what issues he might face. All of the April Rose and MckMama stuff was a primer in treating people with enough pictures and info while ignoring the naysayers that became textbook Kate in the adoptions, the last 1/2 birthday, bereavement, time off for Charley. Once she figured out how to get people to help with the adoptions she realized that third party asks were better because her personality was mean and offensive if people did not give enough. Friends asked for the money. Kate was thankful but needed privacy. The needs were crisis to crisis with pleas for family privacy at a difficult time. Just enough and the most heart capturing kids. Hannah was too healthy. The other kids were not complicated enough. Bethany even had her own blog--Complicated Bethany.
Kate's caustic and combative personality made it so that people didn't support long. Why no in real life people? Her level of alienation and desire for limited/no accountability made for local support to be difficult to maintain. The internet connection people who did stay were either parents of ill children or readers of CB who had a deep sadness or experiences that made them vulnerable.
Kate's scamming took place with doctors (who if Kate was to be believed) prescribed meds based on Kate's symptom description. At one point, B was also being considered for chiari-- what are the odds? Any medical doctor who prescribed based on Kate's word with no labs and no physical examination should be sanctioned and pursued legally.
It is not a coincidence that the pediatric hospice was unable to help her, the supervisors wanted to assess the kids through their channels, not based on Kate's report. The amount of pain that she described Joshua to be in would have been fairly easy for a hospice to assess if it existed and was not just drug dependence. Kate did not give them access. The only people who had access were the people that Kate could manipulate and overpower for the drugs she wanted.
Joshua's angel vision was, in my opinion, a lead in to a miracle cure that was to happen. Remember he was having specific feedings to get him through the wedding and they would stop. He was doing fairly well but in pain after that. THANK GOD someone made her put him in the hospital that final time where someone for some reason intervened and got him off drugs. I remember her defensive posts about the medication change and the lack of change for his terminal dx.
Madi

Cape Coral, FL

#794 Feb 1, 2014
@MomToMyBoys.....

Wow. You've got her absolutely pegged!

The only thing I'd add is that I think Joshua's angel ramblings were the result of a child's (healthy) imagination and brainwashing (constant talk of "you're dying" and being told your imaginary angel friends are real).

I didn't follow her on any forums, so I didn't pick up on the tendencies you've mentioned. I found her initially via RR as she was adopting Hannah and Bethany (then Vivienne and Laura).

I always realized she was a control freak ("Don't call him Josh!"), but I didn't realize how caustic and nasty she is. She was always careful to have Megan launch the nastiest attacks in the guestbook. Though I got a clue she was even more 'off' when I posted a comment on CB and it was deleted and she blocked me!

I still, to this day, have no idea what I said to be offensive. I was never critical or anything but compassionate and offering encouragement. I just used a different email to register on CB and kept following. But getting blocked told me that something was very off in her psychology, as my guestbook messages were never anything but "I'm sorry you're going through this. We're praying." (Never that concise but you get my drift.)
Madi

Cape Coral, FL

#795 Feb 1, 2014
Oh yeah --- I forgot to mention: that Complicated Bethany site was created as one big manipulation.

She basically said she created that site to "document" Bethany's pain/condition and to show it to doctors in a campaign for narcotics.
(Isn't that what CB is for? Documenting her pain/condition?...Why a new site unless there's information on the CB site that you don't want them to read about because they'll catch you in a lie.)

She even had the gall to videotape herself saying she'd given Bethany narcotics that had not been prescribed for her (not sure if they were Joshua's or Bethany's from a prior operation).
That struck me as a bit ballsy, as docs don't like it when parents play doctor.

Agreed with @MomToMyBoys that the docs who prescribed meds on Kate's word should be investigated and sanctioned, beginning with Dr. Sibley. Kate raved about her; now it seems that it was because she was so easy to manipulate.
Tiffany

Portland, OR

#796 Feb 1, 2014
I know why you all have my Facebook linked to this site, please know I have done nothing but try to help Kate and the Parker family. I asked for donations for her, when my child to was in the hospital under false pretenses that they where in need. Please know I would have never asked had I known the full story. I met Kate because our sons both have chiari and related condition's. We since cut ties after spending time in her home and getting to truly know Kate.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#797 Feb 1, 2014
Tiffany, I am sorry people have your facebook. I think there are a lot of people who have been link to Kate and had no idea what they were getting into. They are all innocent victims. I am so sorry to hear she took advantage of you.
I would love it if you would share what made you cut your ties. So many of us never met her but knew something wasn't right.
Also please contact the detective Mace Winter and let him know what your concerns were/are and what you experienced in the home.

Tiffany wrote:
I know why you all have my Facebook linked to this site, please know I have done nothing but try to help Kate and the Parker family. I asked for donations for her, when my child to was in the hospital under false pretenses that they where in need. Please know I would have never asked had I known the full story. I met Kate because our sons both have chiari and related condition's. We since cut ties after spending time in her home and getting to truly know Kate.

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