joshua parker

Since: Oct 13

Location hidden

#289 Nov 17, 2013
I read her posts about husband Charley not being "involved" but excuse me, all of this went on under his roof. He knows her better than anyone else, if he couldn't see this abuse there is something terribly wrong with him also.
And I agree that there should be concern for every single child in that house or any child in her path.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#290 Nov 17, 2013
I find myself wondering if her new daughter-in-law noticed the abuse and reported it? It makes sense to me that she could be duped (tons of other people were) over the internet, and then when she saw first hand what was going on..........

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#291 Nov 17, 2013
It may be the DIL but it seems like Joshua was all of a sudden needed in Portland when he had been previously managed without ever being seen by a doctor. If it was the DIL, then I hope she has left the house because Kate lost two meal tickets (SSI and all) whereas the other kids are not. Adam and Megan are also not able to work their overseeing jobs either.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#292 Nov 17, 2013
It may not have been the DIL. It could just be timing. It was just a thought I had. I didn't read CB daily, weekly, or even monthly. I would read every couple of months. I remember the wedding pictures not too long ago.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#293 Nov 17, 2013
It is hard to know. But, thank goodness, someone finally intervened. When you knew Kate before, was she talking about adopting? Sounds like she was a terrible pill in your group. When I "met" Kate she was intolerable and a bully. She rarely talked about the other kids. I couldn't figure out how she homeschooled.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#294 Nov 17, 2013
Bully is a good word. She could not understand why people were not so fascinated by Joshua. I thought it had something to do with her demeanor. If that makes sense. Jennifer McKinney was a scam artist at her best. She had a way about her that made people feel sorry for her. Her way with words, I guess is what I mean to say. Kate always seemed so snippy and, well a bully. I don't think she ever reached her goal. She was never as "popular" as Jennifer. Which I think was her ultimate goal.
Thought-I-was-he r-friend

Davenport, IA

#295 Nov 17, 2013
Had to change my screen name, the other way bugged me.

Anyway... I think that MBPS is right on the money. I could even tell you her "trigger". She had a lot of abuse in her childhood, but things didn't really start happening until the adoption. LOTS of attention, lots of hustle and bustle and fundraising, lots of people around all the time helping with things to get ready for the girls to come home.

Even her process in country was pretty frantic (that's a whole other story!). They got the girls home, things settled down, the attention died down, normal families would have just fallen into a new routine, and moved on with life with their new kiddos...

But, after so much attention, and so many people living to serve her family, and help, etc... to go to NOTHING out of the ordinary just wasn't enough.

Boom... Joshua got "sick"... the girls came home in October... his "terminal" diagnosis came in March. coincidence? I don't think so...

I still believe that Hannah was too "healthy" to be one of the "victims" and that's why they rehomed her.

I pray everyday for the whole family. For Joshua and Bethany's healing, for the other kids' protection, and for Kate & Charley...
Shocked

Irvington, NJ

#296 Nov 18, 2013
I wonder if she is reading this now. I wouldn't be surprised if she pops on using a different name. Shame on her she is a disgusting individual. I hope she gets all she is due!!!! I also think her husband should get what he is due also. Shame on both of them.
Gillya

Bridgewater, NJ

#297 Nov 18, 2013
Didn't she enter (and win) a Facebook contest where she begged on her caringbridge for votes for Joshua? I forgot the name of the group that was offering it. I think they won money where she bought Joshua Legos, or DVDs or something?

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#298 Nov 18, 2013
Yes! I has forgotten about that.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#299 Nov 18, 2013
Yes she did! There was a contest for the most likes and the winner got an 100 dollar amazon gift card. She beat out Kate Estes. But she had some little girl give her communion money to buy him the 100 dollar Lego set he wanted. She said she would buy dvd's and other stuff. I remember thinking what about Bethany.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#300 Nov 18, 2013
Scammers are reprehensible. But it is the lowest of the low to take the gifted money of one child and use it as part of your scam. I wonder if the Legos were ever bought.

It must be hell in that house right now with the two mealtickets gone and no way to scam anyone out of cash now. I do worry that another scam will arise through Adam and Faith's child or a medical problem for one of the other kids. I hope the authorities are keeping a close tab on her.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#301 Nov 18, 2013
Makes sense that Charley needed to be with his dying son. Well not according to Kate.
kpmomof7
Paula, I wanted to answer the question you posed on Joshua's caringbridge page, but did not want to share it with everyone reading there.(m)
01/18/2012 15:40 Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 521
You asked: "I was wondering, though, what Charlie's input on this is? You said the decision rests on your shoulders. Is he too overwhelmed and grieving to help you decide?"
Charley's input is minimal. He has never been actively involved in making decisions for Joshua (or any of the other kids) when it comes to medical stuff out of his own personal choice. He cops out by saying, "You know more than me about this stuff, so whatever you think is best, I think that's what we should do." He has not helped in making any decisions about Joshua. He won't do it & no amount of talking has been able to change his position. When I was in the hospital & was having life-or-death questions about Joshua's care thrown at me, I excused myself to call my husband so I could get his input & he told me, "I don't know. I can't think about it." That wasn't very helpful when I had a room full of doctors waiting to hear what we wanted to do.
So... since he has essentially checked out, I have been forced to make decisions on my own, and having gotten into the habit of doing so for the past 20 years of caring for our children (because he refuses to help with any of the medical/therapy stuff associated with their conditions), it hasn't been a new situation; it's just sad. With the stakes so much higher now, though, it's a lot harder to make the decisions alone, especially since I worry sometimes that someday he is going to resent decisions I've made and/or regret not being more involved.
Our marriage is in shambles. After everything we've gotten through ~ Megan's precocious puberty, Adam's nasal cyst that eroded his septum & led to 3 surgeries, David's autism diagnosis & subsequent years of therapy & intense treatment (ABA), Emily's Asperger diagnosis & therapy, Sarah's developmental regression, therapy & subsequent brain surgery for Chiari, hurricanes wrecking our home, Isaac's autism & apraxia diagnosis & therapy, David & Sarah's same-day brain & spinal cord surgeries, David's ADHD diagnosis, Adam's "emerging Marfan's" & Asperger diagnosis, Megan's PCOS diagnosis, EVERYTHING involved with Joshua (29 surgeries, wheelchairs, AFOs, cathing, g-tube, TPN, multiple hospitalizations & tests, etc), and adopting 2 children with Down syndrome from Ukraine & addressing *their* multiple medical issues ~ we lost "us". Chronic stress takes its toll on more than the physical body & psychological state of mind, I guess.
We've talked about divorcing. We've talked about trying to fix our marriage. But when we try to talk about Joshua, what I get is, "I think we should do what is best for Joshua." When I ask him what he thinks that is, he answers, "I don't know."
The reason I believe the decision to either do more surgery or let Joshua go is going to rest on my shoulders alone is because in that list I just put up above ~ the kids' diagnoses & stuff ~ I was the one who dealt with all of that alone. I have received almost zero help from Charley in making decisions about Joshua's medical care & he hasn't been involved in making the decisions about Joshua's cremation & memorial service because he refuses to be a part of the discussion, so I've done it. I always have. And for the most part, I don't have regrets with how I've managed my children's medical needs & the treatment of those needs. But choosing when to stop pursuing treatment (in this case, brain surgeries) & to let my child die, instead, is one of those decisions that I would prefer to not have to make alone. That's why I asked others, generically, in the journal entry prior to this most-recent one, how *they* make tough decisions (what process do they use to come to a decision). I am not asking a

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#302 Nov 18, 2013
When Kyron Horman went missing, she was mad a Desire Kyrons mom, because they used to be neighbors and Desires never had time for Kate! Any time it wasn't all about kate she made sure it was all about her! Josh got on the cca Joy Rx campaign because Kate is friends with one of the child life workers at legacy and Kate made a huge fuss about how if it where Cancer some one would care. If Joshua had cancer everyone would donate and their would be programs for the family. Well Joshua got on the cca campaign and got a new computer and other things. You know it wouldnt surprise me if Kate made a little anonymous bate call on herself, thinking it would get her attention and the case would be closed because she has been able to convince to many Dr.s.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#303 Nov 18, 2013
Charley really did need that time off? Nah!

kpmomof7
Paula, I wanted to answer the question you posed on Joshua's caringbridge page, but did not want to share it with everyone reading there.(m)
01/18/2012 15:40 Registered: 4 years ago
Posts: 521
You asked: "I was wondering, though, what Charlie's input on this is? You said the decision rests on your shoulders. Is he too overwhelmed and grieving to help you decide?"

Charley's input is minimal. He has never been actively involved in making decisions for Joshua (or any of the other kids) when it comes to medical stuff out of his own personal choice. He cops out by saying, "You know more than me about this stuff, so whatever you think is best, I think that's what we should do." He has not helped in making any decisions about Joshua. He won't do it & no amount of talking has been able to change his position. When I was in the hospital & was having life-or-death questions about Joshua's care thrown at me, I excused myself to call my husband so I could get his input & he told me, "I don't know. I can't think about it." That wasn't very helpful when I had a room full of doctors waiting to hear what we wanted to do.

So... since he has essentially checked out, I have been forced to make decisions on my own, and having gotten into the habit of doing so for the past 20 years of caring for our children (because he refuses to help with any of the medical/therapy stuff associated with their conditions), it hasn't been a new situation; it's just sad. With the stakes so much higher now, though, it's a lot harder to make the decisions alone, especially since I worry sometimes that someday he is going to resent decisions I've made and/or regret not being more involved.

Our marriage is in shambles. After everything we've gotten through ~ Megan's precocious puberty, Adam's nasal cyst that eroded his septum & led to 3 surgeries, David's autism diagnosis & subsequent years of therapy & intense treatment (ABA), Emily's Asperger diagnosis & therapy, Sarah's developmental regression, therapy & subsequent brain surgery for Chiari, hurricanes wrecking our home, Isaac's autism & apraxia diagnosis & therapy, David & Sarah's same-day brain & spinal cord surgeries, David's ADHD diagnosis, Adam's "emerging Marfan's" & Asperger diagnosis, Megan's PCOS diagnosis, EVERYTHING involved with Joshua (29 surgeries, wheelchairs, AFOs, cathing, g-tube, TPN, multiple hospitalizations & tests, etc), and adopting 2 children with Down syndrome from Ukraine & addressing *their* multiple medical issues ~ we lost "us". Chronic stress takes its toll on more than the physical body & psychological state of mind, I guess.

We've talked about divorcing. We've talked about trying to fix our marriage. But when we try to talk about Joshua, what I get is, "I think we should do what is best for Joshua." When I ask him what he thinks that is, he answers, "I don't know."

The reason I believe the decision to either do more surgery or let Joshua go is going to rest on my shoulders alone is because in that list I just put up above ~ the kids' diagnoses & stuff ~ I was the one who dealt with all of that alone. I have received almost zero help from Charley in making decisions about Joshua's medical care & he hasn't been involved in making the decisions about Joshua's cremation & memorial service because he refuses to be a part of the discussion, so I've done it. I always have.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#304 Nov 18, 2013
And for the most part, I don't have regrets with how I've managed my children's medical needs & the treatment of those needs. But choosing when to stop pursuing treatment (in this case, brain surgeries) & to let my child die, instead, is one of those decisions that I would prefer to not have to make alone. That's why I asked others, generically, in the journal entry prior to this most-recent one, how *they* make tough decisions (what process do they use to come to a decision). I am not asking anyone to tell me what they would do if Joshua were their son because there is no way anyone else can know. Unless you (not you personally; generic "you") have been in the position of making this kind of decision, you can't truly know what you would do & because I realize that, I won't ask others, "What would you do?". When the time comes that Joshua needs that decision made for him, I will try once more to engage his father in a discussion about it. If Charley again refuses to be a part of the decision, I will pray & seek counsel from our pediatrician & neurosurgeon & two trusted friends who have helped me come to decisions in the past, and then I will choose what path to walk with Joshua. I know I should care deeply what my husband wants to do, but after almost 21 years of being put in the position of having to take care of the things that he doesn't want to deal with (ie: all of the medical issues, schooling & developmental guidance for our children) because he "checks out", I've almost given up on the idea of things ever being any different. What I would prefer is for us to sit down and have heart-to-heart discussions about Joshua & his needs & our feelings & for us to come to a decision together about what WE feel is in our son's best interest. In the absence of that, though, I still have a very sick child to make decisions for & if I have to, I'll make those decisions alone. I am not choosing to exclude Charley; he is choosing to exclude himself ~ I want that to be very clear.

So... there ya go. I know the argument could be made that he's so overwhelmed with grief that he can't help make decisions, but since this has been a pattern of behavior for almost 21 years, I don't buy that argument, even though it may actually be true with regards to Joshua's situation. Also, the bitchy part of me says, "Well, so what if he's overwhelmed with grief? So am I, yet I am forced to keep functioning because he refuses to! How is that okay? Why does he get to cop out of everything and leave me to deal with it all?" So... yeah... lots of resentment & frustration & the like. I know. And I don't want to come across like a sanctimonious woman who thinks she's done nothing wrong & is blaming everything on her husband. I know it takes two to build AND to destroy a marriage. I know that I'm not perfect in our relationship, either. But counseling isn't an option right now ~ we have no money to throw at it & his work schedule would make it almost impossible. Besides, truth be known, I have no emotional energy to care about my marriage right now. I just don't. If he stays, if he leaves, oh well. I have reached the point that it doesn't matter to me anymore. After Joshua dies, maybe I'll eventually care again, but right now, I just don't. I don't want to divorce Charley, but I also can't really imagine things ever genuinely changing in ways that would be necessary to keep us together.

Maybe that's a lot more information than you were looking for, but I felt a complete answer was more honest than just agreeing with you that yeah, he's too grief-stricken to contribute to decision-making.

~Kate

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#305 Nov 18, 2013
HateToSayIToldYouSo wrote:
I don't remember her ever verbally expressing any desire to write a book. However, her caringbridge entries often times sounded like a scripted novel. As if she were planning to write a book and wanted to remember exactly how she would word it if she were to ever get that opportunity. Does that make sense? I find it odd, though, that they removed two children and left the other minor children in her care. I think if she were hurting any child in that house, they should all be removed. Just my opinion.
It absolutely makes sense!
They probably haven't removed any other children because the investigations still going on. There had to be some pretty strong evidence for them to remove J & B; perhaps the Drs. & CPS had their suspicions (if reported her months ago as well as others) and the Drs. Did more extensive testing & investigations based on the info.

Since: Nov 13

Location hidden

#306 Nov 18, 2013
For anyone not familiar with MSBP

http://allpsych.com/journal/munchausen.html
FeelingSilly

Lubbock, TX

#307 Nov 18, 2013
Man I have been devastated that I could no longer follow Joshua's story. I figured the site was closed due to hateful comments. I have been googling Joshua's name looking for an obituary. Who knew I would find this?? I have never sent money, but I was very emotionally invested in this story. I sure wish we had more info on Hannah, Bethany, and Jishua. I believed every word. Feeling naive and silly.
oldfriend

Redding, CA

#308 Nov 18, 2013
Charley milks it too. I eat at sharis where he works in GP. Everyone knows about his sick kids and his sick ass wife. Its pathetic and they both should get soft cells.

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