Couple Charged with Child Abuse

Full story: WXIA Atlanta 133
Authorities have arrested a man and his wife on charges of abusing their two adopted children. Full Story
Gail

Atlanta, GA

#112 Aug 15, 2007
PAL wrote:
<quoted text>
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE--Believe the children!! I am thankful that Phoebe found her voice and decided to tell! No one can know what goes on behind closed doors...Phoebe's actions were completely warranted. Can't her actions be proof enough??? She ran for the safety and also for Joseph's. I think Phoebe knew that Joseph wasn't quite ready to tell for whatever reason. So, she did what she needed to do.
I scrapbooked at Debbie's for several years and many many times, I left appalled at what she shared with me about her and Earl's "disciplining techniques." She literally sat at the table with several women discussing these things with us-and she was "Proud" of it!!! And, I thought the things she shared was bad! It's in most cases, worse than what they share!!
Many times I wondered if any others felt the way that I did!! I had an "awful" gut feeling! It appears that my gut-instinct was right!!
Too bad your gut feeling didn't prompt you to call the police.
Tony

Cumming, GA

#113 Aug 15, 2007
Gail wrote:
<quoted text>
Too bad your gut feeling didn't prompt you to call the police.
And who are YOU to second guess? Accusing someone of child abuse is serious. Even the DA won't arrest someone without solid proof. You can't make a case or an arrest on "gut instinct." Who knows, if the cops had been called before the little girl was ready to come forward these two freaks MIGHT have intimidated the little girl to keep her mouth shut until something bad really did happen to her and/or her brother. If you weren't there keep your mouth shut.
Not Surprised Either

United States

#114 Aug 15, 2007
I was in a local service club with Debbie and have seen the controlling nature she possesses. Our club would have several fund-raising events each year to raise money for local non-profit organizations. Once Debbie became president of the club, she wanted to do away with some of those fund-raising event.
To discontinue them, it had to be put to a vote. The members voted, and I was one of the ones who counted the votes. The majority of the members voted to continue these events, but at the next meeting, Debbie announced that not enough votes were in favor of continuing them!
My husband also has served on local commissions with Earl and Debbie. He's seen the same attitude.
When we heard of the allegations against this couple, neither my husband nor I were surprised. We wouldn't describe them as "loving parents".
One neighbor heard in church Sunday that the mini ball bat was actually a wooden spoon. I don't know if that makes a difference to anyone, but I know that I'd never hit one of my children with one.
Tony

Cumming, GA

#115 Aug 15, 2007
Not Surprised Either wrote:
I was in a local service club with Debbie and have seen the controlling nature she possesses. Our club would have several fund-raising events each year to raise money for local non-profit organizations. Once Debbie became president of the club, she wanted to do away with some of those fund-raising event.
To discontinue them, it had to be put to a vote. The members voted, and I was one of the ones who counted the votes. The majority of the members voted to continue these events, but at the next meeting, Debbie announced that not enough votes were in favor of continuing them!
My husband also has served on local commissions with Earl and Debbie. He's seen the same attitude.
When we heard of the allegations against this couple, neither my husband nor I were surprised. We wouldn't describe them as "loving parents".
One neighbor heard in church Sunday that the mini ball bat was actually a wooden spoon. I don't know if that makes a difference to anyone, but I know that I'd never hit one of my children with one.
You are absolutely right. You don't need to smack your kids with anything but your bare hand on their bare butt. And when they get too ol for that, grounding them or taking driving priveleges away, not letting them go off with their friends, etc. works wonders. It did with me and it worked with my kids. I had rather been beaten with a two by four as to have been grounded. It sounds like these two took their idead for parenting out of the manual at Abu-Ghraib prison camp.
PAL

United States

#116 Aug 15, 2007
A Mother wrote:
I do know the Dinklers and the children. Everyone was so happy for this couple but that turned sour as talk began about the discipline or should I say excessive and rejecting punishment they were enduring. Any Counselor knows there is a HUGE difference between discipline that works and continuous punishment that does NOT work and continues until something like this happens. As the Herald reported today - they have never been arrested before nor were they legally approached by authorities about their methods of punishments BUT they were approached by many troubled individuals about their treatment of these children. Most everyone who became aware that the Dinklers were using very harsh and inappropriate punishment were very concerned but Mrs. Dinkler firmly told those concerned people "it is none of your business and keep your nose out of our business" They had no experience with children or parenting and these were older children - why would they never take advise or even seek Professional Counseling!!!
In my opinion, they are both very controlling and legalistic in all of their beliefs! I know everything and you can't tell me anything - everything looked like the perfect family - you never saw the children that they were not like robots - well mannered - spotless - and hollow in their eyes. Why would children run away from unconditional love. Telling someone you love them are just words. It takes loving them when they are not loving, when they do not do exactly like you desire. I have heard these concerns for years and not only through their church members, scrapbook customers but also through another source so that leads me to believe something is not quite right so I was not surprised with these charges - I have not heard anyone who is surprised except those who did not ever see them or experience their parenting skills. I am only sorry that all of us who heard over and over together with those who actually witnessed and heard the Dinklers discuss their treatment did NOTHING!! I am grateful that the children now have a chance but will need extensive counseling and the undoing of many false belief they must have about life, freedom of expression, developing their own personality, love and family. I often wondered WHAT did these children do to always be in the punishment mode....they just could not meet the requirment of their adoptive parents. They ran for food, they had to earn gifts and privledges that were over the top, as a punishment, they had to sit with the Dinklers in church and also in a Sunday School class. What do you think they will grow up believing abut church and Sunday School - PUNISHMENT!!! Disciplined children make and build great kids and adults but this type of punishment tears down and degrades - I wonder if they ever felt of great value. Discipline does not inflict pain and deprive children of food and drink and love. I pray for all and for the TRUTH to really come out so all can be healed.
The Dinklers will have the worse time in being healed because they have no remorse - they don't even see their wrong doing and of course they blame it on their being adopted and from another country...Many children are adopted from other countries that have never had to suffer this kind of punishment to connect!!!! Brokeness is the beginning of healing and restoration. I have known this family for 5 years and have observed much of this from a distance (God forgive me) but I tried to shut it out of my mind and heart! Shame on all of us that heard this and never did anything - again acting like nothing was wrong - just the way the family looked - like a perfect family with nothing wrong.
Thank you for what you shared! Most of what you said I have thought or believed, but never have been able to quite put it all into words! But, you hit the nail on the head! Much of what you said was also what I experienced..Thanks again for speaking up!
Drop the Rocks

AOL

#117 Oct 3, 2007
Those without sin, cast the first stone.
charles r

Cedartown, GA

#118 Dec 31, 2007
what about these judges and prosecutors who want to give light sentences to pedophiles and prosecute innocent people for child molestation. It's apparent that the problem remains in the legislative and judicial branches of our government that is supposed to uphold the Constitution but chose to commit racketeering right before our eyes. My sister inlaw has a nephew that just came off of first offenders probation for an alleged incident that took place eight years before he was sentenced and alegedly involved a five year old and nine year old sisters with him and an eleven year old boy when he was almost thirteen years old. The judge and prosecutor refused evidence to be allowed that would clear his name before conviction but wanted a conviction instead. But being an advocate for children I am aware of cases in Cobb, Gwinnett, Fulton and Paulding counties that molesters are set free with impeckable evidence against them. I might be crazy or mislead but it appears that our state government is letting known child molesters free and convicting innocent people to create a serious problem for us. I say that it is an act of treason because we do not know their motives and intentions but the amount of convictions and light sentences for real offenders
chris Terrazas

Griffin, GA

#119 Apr 24, 2008
joseph is my best friend im glad that phoebe decided to tell. iv'e know them since they moved into my neighboorhood.

Since: Mar 08

United States

#120 Apr 24, 2008
Tony wrote:
<quoted text>
You are absolutely right. You don't need to smack your kids with anything but your bare hand on their bare butt. And when they get too ol for that, grounding them or taking driving priveleges away, not letting them go off with their friends, etc. works wonders. It did with me and it worked with my kids. I had rather been beaten with a two by four as to have been grounded. It sounds like these two took their idead for parenting out of the manual at Abu-Ghraib prison camp.
The culture that caused the horror of Abu-Ghraib is the same culture that enabled these two sadists to do what they did. America is no longer the beacon of moral authority. BTW: a clickon ad at the bottom of this frame is for what looks like a lesbian dating service called PinkCupid.com . That might tell of something about our moral compass.
Taylor F

Syracuse, NY

#121 May 13, 2008
Tony wrote:
<quoted text>
You are absolutely right. You don't need to smack your kids with anything but your bare hand on their bare butt. And when they get too ol for that, grounding them or taking driving priveleges away, not letting them go off with their friends, etc. works wonders.
Until the government decides that's abuse.
niels

Netherlands

#122 Jun 23, 2008
I am investigating abuse cases in adopted families and found articles about the charges made against this couple, including the comments on these pages. Has there been any development in this case since August 2007?
fyi

Smyrna, GA

#123 Aug 19, 2008
niels wrote:
I am investigating abuse cases in adopted families and found articles about the charges made against this couple, including the comments on these pages. Has there been any development in this case since August 2007?
Mrs dinkler plead guilty in court on the 18th of aug 2008,mr dinkler plead not guilty he is now on trial in mcdonough court on 19th.
child advocate

Macon, GA

#124 Aug 26, 2008
Earl Dinkler was convicted of 2 counts of child abuse, Go to Henry Herald (GA newspaper) to get more details. He is being sentenced Sept. 22.
In a later email he sent out after his conviction, he stated that his wife was among the
best of us. It was really sad that he still sees no wrong and feels no remorse.
CFgirl

AOL

#125 Aug 26, 2008
shelly wrote:
all of you are missing the point. Children are being mistreated for no reason. Exercise yes...abuse no!! No matter the race, religion, background this is horrible. Foster kids and adopted kids are looking for a way out of the madness of their previous life and someone takes them in to beat on them and abuse them probably worse than the real parents. Please pray for those involved. God is the answer.
NO, INVESTIGATION is the answer, and these parents should have been thoroughly investigated by the adoption agency and/or social workers BEFORE they were allowed to adopt the children. If there was nothing showing in a criminal background check, then a full psych evaluation should have been done as well. If more checks were done on prospective parents before adoption is allowed, that might seriously reduce the number of these tragedies from occurring.
CFgirl

AOL

#126 Aug 26, 2008
TonyG wrote:
<quoted text>
You can't be serious! Surely to God in Heaven you don't advocate running children 15 laps around the perimeter of a house in this heat, and not letting them eat if they don't do it? Denial of food is nothing but a form of torture. I never punished my kids by taking their food away. I also spanked my children when they were bad, but not with a belt or a baseball bat. Maybe this kind of "training" or "molding" is good practice in boot camp but for 13 and 11 year old children? I don't think so.
I completely agree; there are some people who seriously expect everyone to believe that extreme forms of punishment "aren't abuse, they're DISCIPLINE!" Yeah. Right. In a PRISON camp, maybe.
CFgirl

AOL

#127 Aug 26, 2008
Bob wrote:
If current standards were applied to when
I grew up, my parents, and most others from
the 50's, would have ended up in jail and
every child would have ended up a ward of
the courts. I believe we have allowed to pendulum to swing too far. Discipline, and
yes I mean spanking when necessary, is a must and the lack of thereof is why our society is in the deplorable shape it is in
today with little respect for any kind of authority.
Oh great, another member of the "spare the rod, spoil the child" club considers extreme forms of punishment, including a paddle, as "discipline." Give me a break. If people can't discipline children without beating them on the slightest provocation, they shouldn't be raising them.
sad

Atlanta, GA

#129 Aug 26, 2008
You know these people never set out to spend thousands of dollars to adopt these children only to abuse them! Unfortunately, I think the system let them down. Someone should have helped w/ the language barrier and then maybe there wouldn't be so much frustration and anger and need for "discipline". PLEASE pray for this situation and especially the children.
CFgirl

AOL

#130 Aug 26, 2008
TonyG wrote:
What amazes me are the people on this forum who think it's right to use a belt or a stick or food deprivation to discipline kids. I was raised in the 60's and 70's by parents who DID believe in corporal punishment, but a bare hand on the bare behind was good enough for them. As I got older and got too big to spank, being grounded usually did the trick....I would have RATHER been beaten than to miss a Friday night sports event or a date with my sweetie...it sure worked for me and I used it on my kids when they misbehaved. I agree that the government gets overzealous sometimes but this is not one of those times. These kids were abused pure and simple and these two need to pay for it.
It amazes and disgusts me too. People really need to think about how they can cope with the behaviors of children and how they'd apply discipline before they have kids. Too many people, especially those in conservative religious churches, push the "be fruitful and multiply" doctrine at people who are totally unfit to be parents at all. I have zero tolerance for childrens' behaviors, so I made sure I never had any, biological or adopted. There is no civil law that says one MUST have children.
CFgirl

AOL

#131 Aug 26, 2008
ARE YOU SERIOUS wrote:
Not one of you knows these people, yet you feel it necessary to bash them based on what the MEDIA says? Have YOUR children ever lied or exaggerated the truth? You have no idea what issues these children have or what this couple has faced in raising them the last 4 years. These are the most well-mannered, polite children I have ever met. These parents are honest, caring, trustworthy Christian parents. Sure, on the surface their choice of discipline seems harsh, but do you know the whole story???
Let he who is without fault cast the first stone...
Wonder if these "trustworthy christian parents" believe in that obscene "spare the rod, spoil the child" mantra. Some of the people who advocate the nastiest forms of punishment for children are "christians," so their religion is hardly a reason to trust them.
CFgirl

AOL

#132 Aug 26, 2008
TonyG wrote:
Not to mention locking the little girl in the car with the windows rolled up.....I read another news article where a child died from this in the past week. If what has been reported is true these two need to go to jail for the maximum they can get.
Agreed. There have been quite a few cases over the past years where infants and small children died from being locked in a hot car with the windows rolled up. If this was one of the intentional punishments, this is also abuse. I don't see how anyone could call it anything else.

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