Fathers who refuse to pay child support
Bo-Tie

United States

#126 Feb 10, 2012
dimmented wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you Bo-Tie!!!! I totally agree 1000%! I wish more people believed what WE believed in. I know aweful parents with children they don't properly take care of. Letting their drugs & alcohol do their parenting for them. The spouse taking it in fear. I know those parents need much support. But many times those spouses who stick up for the bad spouse, when he/she don't want the help..it's just as much that person's fault as the other one's fault. It's a shame when someone tries to help, but gets shunned. And as for sex offenders being parents, they cannot. They cannot be trusted at all. The child was victimized by that person, & the child needs someone to stand up for that child. If the other parent doesn't stand up, the child learns not to respect even that parent that does NOT stand up for him/her. I was in that situation, & I stood up. I had to learn to be a good parent BY MYSELF! I never had anyone of value to teach me. Everyone who surrounded me were AWEFUL parenting role models. And the mistakes they made have been my not to do things. And I did the opposite, & my kids can be awesome! Of course all children have their bad moments! They cannot be perfect 24/7. But they're not into dating at young ages or disrespectful!
dimmented: First of all, let me say how proud I am of you. I admire your courage for standing up for yourself. It's people like you the world needs more of. I have found in my lifetime
that people change. Sadly enough, for the worst most of the time. You are who you are inside. People can change on the outside, but most hide behind their true self. It's ashame that this happens, but it show one's true character. I guess i'm different than most. You never have a second chance to make a first impression with me. I've always considered myself a good judge of character. I can see through most people. If you watch close when talking with people, you can tell right away. You keep doing what you're doing and life will treat you well. Never stop beleiving in yourself and always try to leave someone better than you found them. The first word in memory is "ME". If I don't take care of me, no one else will..That's why I love life and make sure I treat people the way I want to be treated. "It's not what happens in life, it's how we react that counts"....Have a wonderful day...Smile, someone loves you !!!
dimmented

Mayfield, KY

#127 Feb 10, 2012
Thank you Bo-Tie! Many insult me for waiting til the man got totally behind to put him to sign his rights over! But the state is messed up and left me no choices. LOL. His next move is jail time again or pay the double digit amount owed. I know he cannot pay the double digit amount owed. So therefore, his best bet sign rights over! I don't want him or his presence near my child or myself or my other children. LOL. He is wasted space! And I will always stand up for my babies! It is MY job until they are of age & can do it themselves.
----

Philadelphia, PA

#128 Feb 18, 2012
Too many dead beat dads!!! Take care of your kids!!!!!
dimmented

Mayfield, KY

#129 Feb 19, 2012
---- wrote:
Too many dead beat dads!!! Take care of your kids!!!!!
true, but not everyone WANTS the losers involved because of various reasons...he molested your child, does drugs, or totally is an alcoholic. Some parents have better morals than to let idiots around their child(ren).
Scorned1

Kokomo, IN

#130 Feb 20, 2012
Ok, now that I had a chance to read everyone behind their computers bash the men for their 'shorcomings' in support, I will now give the honest account of my situation.

Was with a woman after a consentual good time at a bar. She stayed at my house, sex happened and then she leaves and goes back to her boyfriend (didn't know she had one). I decide that I am through with the area and leave, thinking that she got what she wanted. I move to Ohio and get a good job as a factory supervisor. I'm on the line training a guy to run an injection molding machine when I get handed a form from HR to fill out for a wage garnishment - this was a year and a half after I had slept with her.

I look at it, quizzically, seeing that it came from her. I called the support office in Missouri where this order came from. She stated that an ad was placed in the newspaper to announce her desire for a paternity test and, since a year passed, I was automatically implicated as the father. So, I sign this form and begin to pay her money. I attempt to locate her by every means possible to get pictures, name, etc and she appears to have gotten married and moved.

So, time passes, and I move to Indiana. Indiana takes over the support (UIFSA or some shit) and informs me that I am not paying what was ordered, talked about birthing expenses, etc. By this time, I still cannot find her (even US Search turns up her old info) or this child that I brought into this world. Later down the road, I discover she got married again.

Now, to everyone out there that thinks monetary gain is what induces childhood respect, think again: Because you are all telling me that shielding a man from his kid and becoming a ghost (virtually) is OK (law says it is - support and visitation are separate)? Sorry. When this child grows up and finds out that her REAL dad - not the three men she's married - is ME, she will more than likely flip mom the bird, and come for me - for which I will welcome her with open arms.

Too many women are scamming this support system - taking money from one man and laying up under another or getting married to get double the money. Believe me, if women were ADAMANT about making sure the man was known to the child, alot more of us men would be less sour.

You all can bash men, call us out, whatever you want - in this case, the true piece of shit is the mother that continues to get away with hiding my kid (can't Google this woman or nothing) yet wants to visit the First National Bank Of Non-Custodial. So fuck her, and fuck you if any of you are so shallow minded as to not see what this whole monetary 'muse' is all about to women such as the one I am dealing with.
Happy Wife

Mayfield, KY

#131 Feb 20, 2012
scorned one...wow that is sad! I would think it would be easy to find her.... the state will know where she is at that is how they get the money to her. I don't keep my children from there dad. My daughter drives and she can go see him any day, and my other child normally goes extra too. I just expect him to do the right thing ALWAYS. I don't think he should pay thousands in support if he is going to help with cars and college, but based on what he makes he is suppose to pay $2100 a mth. I get $400.$2100 is way too much, but there has been numerous times the kids have needed more, and he refused to do it.:( they know who they can depend on, and sadly it is always me. They also know if they want things in life they need to work for them, and get a good education so hopefully they will get scholarships or at least grants...as far a car goes, he surprisingly helped...so I am thankful when he does come through for our kids.
Scorned1

Kokomo, IN

#132 Feb 20, 2012
Happy Wife wrote:
scorned one...wow that is sad! I would think it would be easy to find her.... the state will know where she is at that is how they get the money to her. I don't keep my children from there dad. My daughter drives and she can go see him any day, and my other child normally goes extra too. I just expect him to do the right thing ALWAYS. I don't think he should pay thousands in support if he is going to help with cars and college, but based on what he makes he is suppose to pay $2100 a mth. I get $400.$2100 is way too much, but there has been numerous times the kids have needed more, and he refused to do it.:( they know who they can depend on, and sadly it is always me. They also know if they want things in life they need to work for them, and get a good education so hopefully they will get scholarships or at least grants...as far a car goes, he surprisingly helped...so I am thankful when he does come through for our kids.
It sucks. I know where the US SEARCH list her living under her married name, but I cannot guarantee it and the IV-D office never tells the NCP where the CP lives. It's really sad. I wished that I could do something because I did turn up a misdemeanor paraphernilia charge on her - makes me think she's a dopehead which my kid doesn't need.

She is 11 1/2 now and has no social media profiles or anything. I cannot start calling schools because I don't know officially if i am the BIRTH father - it sucks.
Yolanda

Murray, KY

#133 Feb 20, 2012
Scorned1 wrote:
<quoted text>It sucks. I know where the US SEARCH list her living under her married name, but I cannot guarantee it and the IV-D office never tells the NCP where the CP lives. It's really sad. I wished that I could do something because I did turn up a misdemeanor paraphernilia charge on her - makes me think she's a dopehead which my kid doesn't need.

She is 11 1/2 now and has no social media profiles or anything. I cannot start calling schools because I don't know officially if i am the BIRTH father - it sucks.
There has to be a way to find her. Have you contacted a lawyer? Someone in the system has to know where she is. They mail the check! Perhaps a lawyer can get you the info you need or find a way for you to legally withhold payment until visitation is granted!!! Good luck.
Times Change

Mayfield, KY

#134 Feb 20, 2012
myquestion wrote:
How do you feel about a person that make more than $200,000 a yr and the other parent makes $40 a year, and they get a total of $400 a month for two children??? Is that a fair amount to house, cloth, feed, and educate your children? Considering what it costs to raise kids now. Their child support is always late, and if they need anything the other parent does not contribute....I don't even have the money to take him back to court! I just expect him to be a parent and contribute a fair amount to his children.
Your should be around 2200.00. My husband pays out to a girl he had sex with one time! He pays around 1200.00 for one kid. Tell me she didn't hit the jackpot! We are blessed because everyone manages to be adult. My only problem is she lives off the government and his check. What does that say to their son? So guys if you don't want child support USE PROTECTION!! When she says it okay she is in birth control and you end up with a kid, it is still your fault! If my husband can pay than you can too! Just saying..
Times Change

Mayfield, KY

#135 Feb 20, 2012
dimmented wrote:
Thank you Bo-Tie! Many insult me for waiting til the man got totally behind to put him to sign his rights over! But the state is messed up and left me no choices. LOL. His next move is jail time again or pay the double digit amount owed. I know he cannot pay the double digit amount owed. So therefore, his best bet sign rights over! I don't want him or his presence near my child or myself or my other children. LOL. He is wasted space! And I will always stand up for my babies! It is MY job until they are of age & can do it themselves.
Two thumbs up to you. Doing what is right for the child is the most important thing. That being said.. As long as you did it for that reason and not to be bitter.
so politically incorrect

AOL

#136 Feb 21, 2012
Whos your Daddy wrote:
<quoted text>
Myabe if you werent a dissapointment your dad would want to be with you instead of in jail
Ohhh you are a piece of sh*t. If I heard you say that to ANY kid I'm afraid I would have to bust you right in your mouth. People like you are what's wrong!
so politically incorrect

AOL

#137 Feb 21, 2012
Happy Wife wrote:
scorned one...wow that is sad! I would think it would be easy to find her.... the state will know where she is at that is how they get the money to her. I don't keep my children from there dad. My daughter drives and she can go see him any day, and my other child normally goes extra too. I just expect him to do the right thing ALWAYS. I don't think he should pay thousands in support if he is going to help with cars and college, but based on what he makes he is suppose to pay $2100 a mth. I get $400.$2100 is way too much, but there has been numerous times the kids have needed more, and he refused to do it.:( they know who they can depend on, and sadly it is always me. They also know if they want things in life they need to work for them, and get a good education so hopefully they will get scholarships or at least grants...as far a car goes, he surprisingly helped...so I am thankful when he does come through for our kids.
Happy Wife, I hope you are not disappointed when it comes time for him to help out with those cars and college. If it were me I would take the money and set it aside, just in case. What if his financial situation makes a drastic change? Better to be safe than sorry.
Scorned1

Kokomo, IN

#138 Feb 21, 2012
Times Change wrote:
<quoted text>
Your should be around 2200.00. My husband pays out to a girl he had sex with one time! He pays around 1200.00 for one kid. Tell me she didn't hit the jackpot! We are blessed because everyone manages to be adult. My only problem is she lives off the government and his check. What does that say to their son? So guys if you don't want child support USE PROTECTION!! When she says it okay she is in birth control and you end up with a kid, it is still your fault! If my husband can pay than you can too! Just saying..
Thought about hiring a PI but I'd rather my kid have the money. Just a real effing pain this woman shielding this child from me. And, in Indiana, they could give 3 flying squirrels about visitation so long as they get their 'reciprocal support'.
dimmented

Mayfield, KY

#139 Feb 21, 2012
Times Change wrote:
<quoted text>
Two thumbs up to you. Doing what is right for the child is the most important thing. That being said.. As long as you did it for that reason and not to be bitter.
Thank you! I do see where support is "helpful" & needs to be enforced. I was on phone with a friend when my daughter dropped the bomb of what her donor did! I never imagined this! Took my breath away. And as humanly as possible, I was bitter at first. After everything the courts put us thru, convicting him to 5yrs & having a 10yr old relive the horrible day in front of the abuser at that. And worse after 3yrs of prison, he finds a loophole when she was at vulnerable stage of age (13yrs), he was going to do it again. Drag the bad memories back to her with him sitting right there. I finally said, "enough is enough. He won't victimize her this 3rd time at vulnerable age of 13, if he don't get his just punishment now Jesus will punish him!" So he got away with 2 1/2yrs of prison & not even registered as child molestor. Sickening thought that he can get off so freely after what he did. It was not easy to get over the bitter hate I had for him doing this & getting away with it, at least my daughter wasn't victimized a 3rd time! That made the bitter hate disappear because that was what was best for her! I counseled her myself because i had been thru it myself. Thank God she is now of age to refuse to see him even tho the state FORCED child support payment from the donor immediately after his gotten away with his crime prison term. I would rather never see his dirty money. Not even 1 cent! Not worth it! I can & will do it myself. Even tho the bitter hate is as much as possible gone, I am still able & strong enough to raise my children without any support.
dimmented

Mayfield, KY

#140 Feb 21, 2012
Scorned1 wrote:
Ok, now that I had a chance to read everyone behind their computers bash the men for their 'shorcomings' in support, I will now give the honest account of my situation.
Was with a woman after a consentual good time at a bar. She stayed at my house, sex happened and then she leaves and goes back to her boyfriend (didn't know she had one). I decide that I am through with the area and leave, thinking that she got what she wanted. I move to Ohio and get a good job as a factory supervisor. I'm on the line training a guy to run an injection molding machine when I get handed a form from HR to fill out for a wage garnishment - this was a year and a half after I had slept with her.
I look at it, quizzically, seeing that it came from her. I called the support office in Missouri where this order came from. She stated that an ad was placed in the newspaper to announce her desire for a paternity test and, since a year passed, I was automatically implicated as the father. So, I sign this form and begin to pay her money. I attempt to locate her by every means possible to get pictures, name, etc and she appears to have gotten married and moved.
So, time passes, and I move to Indiana. Indiana takes over the support (UIFSA or some shit) and informs me that I am not paying what was ordered, talked about birthing expenses, etc. By this time, I still cannot find her (even US Search turns up her old info) or this child that I brought into this world. Later down the road, I discover she got married again.
Now, to everyone out there that thinks monetary gain is what induces childhood respect, think again: Because you are all telling me that shielding a man from his kid and becoming a ghost (virtually) is OK (law says it is - support and visitation are separate)? Sorry. When this child grows up and finds out that her REAL dad - not the three men she's married - is ME, she will more than likely flip mom the bird, and come for me - for which I will welcome her with open arms.
Too many women are scamming this support system - taking money from one man and laying up under another or getting married to get double the money. Believe me, if women were ADAMANT about making sure the man was known to the child, alot more of us men would be less sour.
You all can bash men, call us out, whatever you want - in this case, the true piece of shit is the mother that continues to get away with hiding my kid (can't Google this woman or nothing) yet wants to visit the First National Bank Of Non-Custodial. So fuck her, and fuck you if any of you are so shallow minded as to not see what this whole monetary 'muse' is all about to women such as the one I am dealing with.
That is a sad story, but it may not be HER fault that you got served. State forces servings! My daughter's donor was forced served when I would have rather have had all my teeth pulled out! ESPECIALLY after he committed a crime unspeakable to man to her, state still FORCES this jerk to pay me his dirty money even though his dirty money isn't much per month! But after the unspeakable crime, he is not allowed to utter a word to my daughter or visit her! Even dispite the fact that he pays very little! Plus she is of age to say she doesn't want to see him, and she doesn't want to see him after what he did to her!
army wife

United States

#141 Feb 21, 2012
dimmented wrote:
<quoted text>
That is a sad story, but it may not be HER fault that you got served. State forces servings! My daughter's donor was forced served when I would have rather have had all my teeth pulled out! ESPECIALLY after he committed a crime unspeakable to man to her, state still FORCES this jerk to pay me his dirty money even though his dirty money isn't much per month! But after the unspeakable crime, he is not allowed to utter a word to my daughter or visit her! Even dispite the fact that he pays very little! Plus she is of age to say she doesn't want to see him, and she doesn't want to see him after what he did to her!
It is a sad situation you are in. Take the money though...yes I understand you feel it's dirty money but you can make it something good. Set it aside, use it to help your child go to college. We never know where lives lead. Perhaps she will major in psychology and become an advocate for children who are abused. Perhaps she will choose to take the money and donate it to a cause that helps prevent sexual abuse of women and kids. What better way to make that money work against the very person who did that.

It might also help bring closure and healing to a situation that is obviously wrought with pain. My prayers for you
army wife

United States

#142 Feb 21, 2012
Scorned1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Thought about hiring a PI but I'd rather my kid have the money. Just a real effing pain this woman shielding this child from me. And, in Indiana, they could give 3 flying squirrels about visitation so long as they get their 'reciprocal support'.
I feel so sorry for not only you but the child that may never know the man who loved her enough to pay child support on a child he never met.

Please, make the effort, save the money, hire the lawyer, whatever you have to do to make yourself a part of this child's life. Assuming you are a good man, of course. Every little girl should know her father loves her.
dimmented

Mayfield, KY

#143 Feb 22, 2012
army wife wrote:
<quoted text>
It is a sad situation you are in. Take the money though...yes I understand you feel it's dirty money but you can make it something good. Set it aside, use it to help your child go to college. We never know where lives lead. Perhaps she will major in psychology and become an advocate for children who are abused. Perhaps she will choose to take the money and donate it to a cause that helps prevent sexual abuse of women and kids. What better way to make that money work against the very person who did that.
It might also help bring closure and healing to a situation that is obviously wrought with pain. My prayers for you
Thank you army wife! He doesn't pay enough to even pay a year's worth of college. He is order to pay nearly $163/month but I get only between $30-60/month only of it. Not worth the time or effort another words. My daughter goes to college in like 3-3 1/2 yrs so he needs to pay more than that!
Times Change

Mayfield, KY

#144 Feb 22, 2012
Scorned1 wrote:
Ok, now that I had a chance to read everyone behind their computers bash the men for their 'shorcomings' in support, I will now give the honest account of my situation.

Was with a woman after a consentual good time at a bar. She stayed at my house, sex happened and then she leaves and goes back to her boyfriend (didn't know she had one). I decide that I am through with the area and leave, thinking that she got what she wanted. I move to Ohio and get a good job as a factory supervisor. I'm on the line training a guy to run an injection molding machine when I get handed a form from HR to fill out for a wage garnishment - this was a year and a half after I had slept with her.

I look at it, quizzically, seeing that it came from her. I called the support office in Missouri where this order came from. She stated that an ad was placed in the newspaper to announce her desire for a paternity test and, since a year passed, I was automatically implicated as the father. So, I sign this form and begin to pay her money. I attempt to locate her by every means possible to get pictures, name, etc and she appears to have gotten married and moved.

So, time passes, and I move to Indiana. Indiana takes over the support (UIFSA or some shit) and informs me that I am not paying what was ordered, talked about birthing expenses, etc. By this time, I still cannot find her (even US Search turns up her old info) or this child that I brought into this world. Later down the road, I discover she got married again.

Now, to everyone out there that thinks monetary gain is what induces childhood respect, think again: Because you are all telling me that shielding a man from his kid and becoming a ghost (virtually) is OK (law says it is - support and visitation are separate)? Sorry. When this child grows up and finds out that her REAL dad - not the three men she's married - is ME, she will more than likely flip mom the bird, and come for me - for which I will welcome her with open arms.

Too many women are scamming this support system - taking money from one man and laying up under another or getting married to get double the money. Believe me, if women were ADAMANT about making sure the man was known to the child, alot more of us men would be less sour.

You all can bash men, call us out, whatever you want - in this case, the true piece of shit is the mother that continues to get away with hiding my kid (can't Google this woman or nothing) yet wants to visit the First National Bank Of Non-Custodial. So fuck her, and fuck you if any of you are so shallow minded as to not see what this whole monetary 'muse' is all about to women such as the one I am dealing with.
Happen to my husband too. You should have used a condom. That is what he says and he doesnt whine about having to pay. Just saying.
smash408

Baltimore, MD

#145 Jul 27, 2012
babyboy13 wrote:
<quoted text>
400 dollars seem fair enogh for two kids i mean thats plenty of money for clothes and other spences school is public so its free food if u have two kids and dont make enough foods stamp will help and house hold if u have custody of them its was ur reaponsibilty as a parent to support shelter i believe that the terms of having custody of ur kids if u cant support them dont u think there are better of with their father
Are you a father? Let me get this right, if the mother has custody it is her responsabilty to provide shelter but its OK for her to use the system to provide food for her children... becuase $400 is enough for 2 children? Umm, that 400 is to provide BOTH with the basics such food, SHELTER and clothing. Why should tax payers provide for YOUR kids becuase you think you're paying enough? I think you need to think before you speak (or type)!

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