why does it seem that family court is...

why does it seem that family court is bias against fathers?

Posted in the Massena Forum

First Prev
of 4
Next Last
Wondering

Utica, NY

#1 Feb 16, 2010
Honestly why is that bad unfit mothers are allowed by family court to maintain custody of their children, and the fathers(the good ones), are treated like crap by the court system? Does anybody have an honest answer for that? Also just so you all know I am a woman asking this question, not a guy.
eric

United States

#2 Feb 16, 2010
i agree with you fully.i also beleive that sharon lumb(dumb)is unfair to.that the support laws ar crazy not that i make that much but there has been guys there court ordered to pay close to a 1000 a month in support.how fair is that seeing as tho most bills together barely reach that or go over it.i feel that in those guys cases they are paying all and not just for the kid.then you got guys who have to pay support to a mother on the system.i feel if the father is willn and able to take care of the kid then they should have the kids.that way the kid is off the system and the mother is left to fend her self.in general i think we need to look at all laws and take a stand and not let the system push us round or tell us wat to do.
The good one

Stratford, Canada

#3 Feb 16, 2010
The unfit mothers know how to lie and cheat the system to make it look like they're the one who's ''the good one''The father will tend to get angry in court and it makes him look bad.I was in this situation one time,my advice carry a recorder around with you and record any conversation with the UNFIT.I was granted full custody after a few recordings had been played for the court.
eric

United States

#4 Feb 16, 2010
that is fine with the recorder if they are stupid and unfit.but there are them ones that know not to say stupid shit and are still unfit tho.
not so stupid

Saranac Lake, NY

#5 Mar 7, 2010
Wondering wrote:
Honestly why is that bad unfit mothers are allowed by family court to maintain custody of their children, and the fathers(the good ones), are treated like crap by the court system? Does anybody have an honest answer for that? Also just so you all know I am a woman asking this question, not a guy.
---How would you like to be a husband and a father with never a brush with the law in 65 years only to have the judge grant the woman who committed adultry the young ones so her boy friends cousin a boy of about 16 could have the 3 year old girl do oral sex on him and the father finding out after she was grown up. A few months later at holiday time the boy was charged with rape of an other woman. I a second divorce the same father lost the children in another divorce to the wife only to have the young fella of about 11 years of age commit a drive by shooting. I guess my question here would be why are the judges so blind as to believe all mothers can be angels always with no wings showing and the men a piece of---- and the judge is usually a man him self. Poooor judgement.Am I missing something here. The father was a very good provider and the children all came back to the father as they turned 16 except one that returned only after a few months at the age of 6. The father also had a couple of kids by one of his ex wifes with other men come to him for a life.
dakota

Ithaca, NY

#6 Mar 7, 2010
Because there are so many dead beat dad's out there! Or at least in past generations there were. They paid next to nothing toward the cost of raising there children. They just moved on to the next family. That is why she now holds men accountable for their actions. If you don't like the mother of your children and think she is unfit maybe you should have thought about that BEFORE you got her pregnant not after. After all it is the innocent choldren who are all altimately affected by this. They did not ask to be born.
not so stupid

Saranac Lake, NY

#7 Mar 7, 2010
dakota wrote:
Because there are so many dead beat dad's out there! Or at least in past generations there were. They paid next to nothing toward the cost of raising there children. They just moved on to the next family. That is why she now holds men accountable for their actions. If you don't like the mother of your children and think she is unfit maybe you should have thought about that BEFORE you got her pregnant not after. After all it is the innocent choldren who are all altimately affected by this. They did not ask to be born.
First off I was married for a good year before they ever became pregnet or longer. Second they toed the mark as I had a real good job a nice car camp and all the things they wanted. After about six or eight years the honey moon was over they started running,steeling,doing drugs and they fell off the wagon. The bad started to show up. This sort of thing wasnt in our family world. I could not live that kind of life. Question, Why do you think a respectable hard working gentleman should have to be treated as a bum because a few others are that way? Dont you think a responsible judge should take each case separately and judge it that way rather than throw all the men in the same basket. I am shure you wouldn care to be treated or blamed for what a lot of other women do in this world. I say women or woman becaus very few men would put down some one that was hard working and very successful a great provider for his family and on top of every thing. And may I add both women begged to stay togather but that kind of life I didnt want for my kids. I thought the judges were fair . I guess I should have worn a skirt to the court room as the judge always sees a woman as a person that can never do a wrong. I likely would have won out. Every body that saw this situation, elderly and all felt bad for all but the women as they left a very dirty rotten trail. Even their kids hated them for not letting them be with their dad where a decent life and all the decent fun was. What kind of a mother locks her children in a bed room with a lock on the outside so they cant see her boy friend in his boxer shorts and talking like donald duck and smoking pot. Had I known at the time and also about her leaving them alone in a hot car in the summer while doing laundry I would have had her arrested right then. This kind of woman is a very sore subject with me and a lot of other decent responsible men out there.
Knows

Syracuse, NY

#8 Mar 7, 2010
eric wrote:
i agree with you fully.i also beleive that sharon lumb(dumb)is unfair to.that the support laws ar crazy not that i make that much but there has been guys there court ordered to pay close to a 1000 a month in support.how fair is that seeing as tho most bills together barely reach that or go over it.i feel that in those guys cases they are paying all and not just for the kid.then you got guys who have to pay support to a mother on the system.i feel if the father is willn and able to take care of the kid then they should have the kids.that way the kid is off the system and the mother is left to fend her self.in general i think we need to look at all laws and take a stand and not let the system push us round or tell us wat to do.
Just alittle info. NYS does not want the parent with custody to get any welfare.but that still doesn't work. somehow they manage to get it. and Sharon Lumb is a lesbian.
Harry

Fulton, NY

#9 Mar 7, 2010
not so stupid wrote:
<quoted text>First off I was married for a good year before they ever became pregnet or longer. Second they toed the mark as I had a real good job a nice car camp and all the things they wanted. After about six or eight years the honey moon was over they started running,steeling,doing drugs and they fell off the wagon. The bad started to show up. This sort of thing wasnt in our family world. I could not live that kind of life. Question, Why do you think a respectable hard working gentleman should have to be treated as a bum because a few others are that way? Dont you think a responsible judge should take each case separately and judge it that way rather than throw all the men in the same basket. I am shure you wouldn care to be treated or blamed for what a lot of other women do in this world. I say women or woman becaus very few men would put down some one that was hard working and very successful a great provider for his family and on top of every thing. And may I add both women begged to stay togather but that kind of life I didnt want for my kids. I thought the judges were fair . I guess I should have worn a skirt to the court room as the judge always sees a woman as a person that can never do a wrong. I likely would have won out. Every body that saw this situation, elderly and all felt bad for all but the women as they left a very dirty rotten trail. Even their kids hated them for not letting them be with their dad where a decent life and all the decent fun was. What kind of a mother locks her children in a bed room with a lock on the outside so they cant see her boy friend in his boxer shorts and talking like donald duck and smoking pot. Had I known at the time and also about her leaving them alone in a hot car in the summer while doing laundry I would have had her arrested right then. This kind of woman is a very sore subject with me and a lot of other decent responsible men out there.
I'm sure the truth is a much different tale than you tell.You sound like a moron.Too bad you both had kids.It doesn't take much smarts to have children.sounds like yours are screwed for life no matter who they are with.
this is interesting

Utica, NY

#10 Mar 7, 2010
dakota wrote:
Because there are so many dead beat dad's out there! Or at least in past generations there were. They paid next to nothing toward the cost of raising there children. They just moved on to the next family. That is why she now holds men accountable for their actions. If you don't like the mother of your children and think she is unfit maybe you should have thought about that BEFORE you got her pregnant not after. After all it is the innocent choldren who are all altimately affected by this. They did not ask to be born.
I'd hate to tell you something, but 1st of all it just isn't the guy who is responsible for getting a girl pregnant, like the saying goes it takes TWO to tango. 2ndly the amount of DEADBEAT MOTHERS are on the rise, almost equal to that of deadbeat fathers. The legal system is outdated, and it doesn't give fathers a fair chance, especially with Lumb as an acting support magistrate, and if she is that bias to pass judgment on all fathers because of a bad one, or bad ones in the past then she should step down off the bench and somebody new who isn't an opinionated bitch who will be fair and just.
not so stupid

Saranac Lake, NY

#11 Mar 7, 2010
this is interesting wrote:
<quoted text>
I'd hate to tell you something, but 1st of all it just isn't the guy who is responsible for getting a girl pregnant, like the saying goes it takes TWO to tango. 2ndly the amount of DEADBEAT MOTHERS are on the rise, almost equal to that of deadbeat fathers. The legal system is outdated, and it doesn't give fathers a fair chance, especially with Lumb as an acting support magistrate, and if she is that bias to pass judgment on all fathers because of a bad one, or bad ones in the past then she should step down off the bench and somebody new who isn't an opinionated bitch who will be fair and just.
---Thanks. This lady judge or should I say hearing examiner at the time couldnt stand one of the wifes character in her court room and jumped out of her seat and repermanded her on the spot.I did win this bout.
well

Ithaca, NY

#12 Mar 7, 2010
my son is 18 years old and he went to court and got custody of his daughter.hire a good lawyer.and he is a good father and mother
not so stupid

Saranac Lake, NY

#13 Mar 7, 2010
well wrote:
my son is 18 years old and he went to court and got custody of his daughter.hire a good lawyer.and he is a good father and mother
--- Yes there are a few of us good ones out here and we all get the same treatment.
gazer

Lake Placid, NY

#14 Mar 8, 2010
from what i have seen and heard, st.lawrence county does tend to favor the women - alot! not sure why they feel the children are safer with their mothers. in many cases that is very untrue
verry untrue

Rome, NY

#15 Mar 8, 2010
i know a person that beat on an 11 yr old boy has bipolar depression and adhd has been charged at least 6 times with child endangerment but when the mother went to court they issued joint custody!!! how fucked up is that? that man should not be able to see his child unless supervised.and he only pays $50 a month for support!$50 does not go verry far especialy with a child still in diapers!! so dont sit hear and tell me that st. lawrence county favors women only because this case sure sounds like dad has it made!
this is interesting

Utica, NY

#16 Mar 8, 2010
verry untrue wrote:
i know a person that beat on an 11 yr old boy has bipolar depression and adhd has been charged at least 6 times with child endangerment but when the mother went to court they issued joint custody!!! how fucked up is that? that man should not be able to see his child unless supervised.and he only pays $50 a month for support!$50 does not go verry far especialy with a child still in diapers!! so dont sit hear and tell me that st. lawrence county favors women only because this case sure sounds like dad has it made!
FYI it doesn't matter if a person has been brought up on charges, what comes down to the bottom line is weather or not they are tried and convicted of it. so i am sure there is more to the web you are trying to spin.
get-it-right

United States

#17 Mar 8, 2010
me and my man are together but not married...we ended up in family court for child support because of my child which went into foster care. We had to do separate income forms...like our bills would be different. We live in the same household, pay the bills together, but got separate support orders for my child. That woman judge I don't think she listened to anything we had to say...she was sleeping on the bench...just watching her head bob back n forth then jerk up when we stopped talking. Whenever we asked a question she just gave us attitude. We asked to have our support order together since we were in the same household she gave us attitude and flat out said NO...glad that time is behind me...and I don't have to deal with that judge again.
Harry

Fulton, NY

#18 Mar 8, 2010
HELLO...your child is going into foster care and all you give a crap about is having to fill out seperate forms??????
I'm sure she wanted to tell you to shut your big ignorant mouth.I hope you take whatever money you have left and invest in birth contol you friggin moron.
my 2 cents

Utica, NY

#19 Mar 8, 2010
I know a guy who granted has had problems in the past, but has since totally turned his life around, doesn't get into trouble, or anything, and yet because of his past family court still won't give him custody of his child, despite the fact that they've already come out and said that the mother, who has already had one child taken from her, is an unfit parent who shouldn't have custody of any child. so how fair is that, oh and this mother is on full welfare too. family court is pro mom and anti dad, and i dont see that changing anytime soon. Pretty sad if you ask me, and pretty unfair to the kids, especially if the kids could have a better life, even if it was with the father.
not so stupid

Saranac Lake, NY

#20 Mar 8, 2010
Harry wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm sure the truth is a much different tale than you tell.You sound like a moron.Too bad you both had kids.It doesn't take much smarts to have children.sounds like yours are screwed for life no matter who they are with.
I hate to rain on your parade but all of my kids came back home when they turned 16 and the mother couldnt stop them and have been on there own for many years with great lives and families of their own and no problems. The mother died from drug usage well after they left home.I think birds of feather flock togather. Are you shure that you are not one of those judjes that puts all men in the same class? I think you auto wake up and smell the roses. As I have said my story is correct. After working in one place for forty years and no criminal record of any kind I cant help but believe as all the people that know me do that I must have been pretty streight. I also had many neighbor kids at my house or camp playing all the time with mine when I had them. The very sad part is god took the one I raised completely on my own. Cancer doesnt always give you a fair chance no matter who you are or what your age is.This one was far more successful then I had ever expected. For this one the sky was the limit. When they have any problems they dont know how to handle they come to dear old dad. Does any body think I should be put down for putting my kids first and loving them and spending all the time I could with them?

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 4
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Massena Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Amanda Kinney R.I.P. 20 yrs ago (Apr '10) 18 hr TBorey 15
Censorship 20 hr Vet 9
Open net 20 hr Timmy Timber 24
Town and Country Vet - Massena 23 hr nosey is as nosey... 28
Is 49 Phillip St. haunted (Oct '15) Sun nosey is as nosey... 14
Massena Car dealerships Oct 12 nosey is as nosey... 2
Massena Red Raiders Oct 11 Grow up people 13

Massena Jobs

More from around the web

Personal Finance

Massena Mortgages