why do adult children treat their par...

United States

#22 Jan 26, 2012
In a case like yours I can definetely understand and I sympathise for you.
mr basford

Malone, NY

#23 Jan 27, 2012
Dad gave me 6 Acres about a mile away from his place and i built my House on it. I stop in at my parents a few times a week but my boy is there just about everyday hanging around with his Gramps.That will probably stop when he hits 15-16 years old though.

United States

#24 Jan 27, 2012
Tho you still live close to your parents and see them 3 to 4 times a week. I commend you for that.
sand in the hourglass

Ithaca, NY

#25 Jan 27, 2012
It is true that when we grow into adulthood, our personalities & individual needs and comfort zones develop and can definitely be very unique & unlike others close to us. I do think however, that life is a precious gift & can be taken from us at any given second so if at all possible, we should compromise & make some arrangement to spend time- even if minimal- with our friends and loved ones. Having game night, watching movie, getting together for dinner- these things make great opportunities for an hour or two of catching up and reminding each other how much you still care. Even quick phone calls, card in the mail, or "just wanted to say I am thinking of you" text messaging can help the in-between times when you can't get together. We can't turn the hourglass back over once the sand runs out. Might as well enjoy the time we have while the sand is still in motion.

United States

#27 Feb 16, 2012
Why do adult children hurt you with past mistakes you've made. Black mail you with
A grandchild because you won't keep dogs that were not properly trained that poop n pee all over my house. Sorry, I left out they lived with me a year. Finds an apartment that doesn't take
Animals and thinks I owe it to them to keep cleaning the dogs poop n pee from my back yard n home.
My son on ther other hand thinks when he is in town, I need to drop everything to run over his
Mother in-laws to see him n the wife who I am fond of. They now have a new member of the family, a granddaughter. Today , I didn't mind running out to see them, we met at a diner. I did go back to the in-laws home because I wanted to hold the baby. While there, I mentioned getting together with his family, at my home, his home. Because of the dogs he doesn't want to come . A family member talked to him and do they will because coming over. Why did I have to go through a struggle just for him and his family to come over ( which I know he isn't going to stay long as usual ) I feel like crap, we weren't crap when he needed something and you would think , being in the army would have tought him some respect. I don't know if I even want to know them anymore.

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#28 Feb 17, 2012
Sometimes things happend that nobody really brings back up or talks about. Sometimes they are very horrible and really hard to get over.

United States

#29 Feb 17, 2012
I know how you feel. We give birth to them, raise them up to be good and when there older they don,t want anything to do with us after we gave them everthing we could possible give them.

Liverpool, NY

#30 Feb 17, 2012
Drugs. 'Nuff said. They don't treat their parents/spouse OR kids right and they sure as h e l l don't treat themselves right.

Preston, WA

#32 Mar 14, 2012
As an adult child(49 yo) with 6 siblings my question is. How can 5 siblings (my brother lives 2500 miles away, he is forgiven) who live fairly close to our mother (all within 20 miles, I live 2 miles away)never pick up the phone to call her except maybe on holidays or the day after, never come by and visit (except months after the holiday or birthday) call once a year, if that. How can these children put everything off on 1 child (mind you there are 4 older than I am). I call my mother every day, even if I cant go down there. I go to the grocery store for her every week without fail. Hair appts, dog grooming visits, etc. I work from home but my home office is 2500 miles away and I have to be away a few times a year. This time its been 2 months but my daughter (who is only 23 yo) stepped up to do mom's grocery shopping for her and make sure she was ok. My oldest sister (63 yo) knows i'm out of state and cant call her but had the nerve to text me after my last trip out of state for work that I dont do anything for our mom, that I live 2 mi away and I cant even visit her ... OMG was she serious, she's dillusional or on crack. How could she even say that. Last year my husband and I bought my mother a new set of dentures ($500) paid her Property owner dues (300/yr for last 9 years) and had her air conditioner fixed (150), on top of the grocery store trips, etc. She comes out once in while and only to borrow money which she never pays back. I know everyone is busy but I too have a life and a job and I dont want mom feeling lonely so I do everything I can for her. OHHH did I mention that she also has 17 adult grandchildren who all drive cars, none of them (except my 3 children and 1 other) ever call her or god forbid come see her. She is almost 82 and they will be the ones who will regret what they didnt do but they will also be the ones with their hands out when I sell mom's house (which oh by the way is also in my name because one of my brilliant sisters thought it would be nice if i LET mom build on a piece of property that I OWNED.) Mom wants the property split 7 ways .... WOWWWWWWWW, how on earth could she even feel anything towards most of them.

United States

#33 Mar 15, 2012
I understand what you are saying. I was the one taking care of my dad as my other sibling has passed. There were a few grandkids. I feel so sad for the older generation today. They bring us up take care of us teach us right from wrong and when they get older adult children do want anything to do with them. We used to be a pretty close knit family but my child who lives about 3 miles away never comes over, calls, comes for supper or never just drops by.I have another sibling with a grandchild who calls me at least once a day and stops by at least once a day. I always thought it would be the other way around but it is funny how things change. All I can say is the children will be sad someday when it is to late. Once your parents are gone, we never will see them again on this earth in real life. Take the time now when you you have it to spend real time with your parents because you never know when it will be to late and have to live with the regrets.
From a parent

Springtown, TX

#34 May 12, 2012
My son I would do anything for him I love him so much, I have help him and his girlfriend a lot they have two girls,, sweet little girls that love me so much,, 2years and 1year,, I was living with my parent because I didn't have any where to go,, I'm divorced, I have moved out with my son for the fourth time,,, i have had my own place at one time and I would help then out they stayed with me,,, he didn't. Work,Then it got to where I couldn't pat my bills and I had to move in with my parents ,, I worked and help the at times,,, then my son was with his girlfriends parent,, they were at there rock bottom ,, so what do I do go and get them help them all I can ,, then we get a place again I'm the only one with the van and the only one working,,, at this time so we get moved in and he get's him a job good job making good money,,, he has been there 2 months, now I'm not working living with them still have bills too. But they said and I told then I would watch the girls and she could go to work to ,, he bough him a truck doing good for themselves,,, I don't have any money to go anywhere and they don't want me around,, I'm still young I'm not that old I like to do things with them too, but when I ask him for money he don't have it,,, no tags for my van so I can't go no where,, and all I do is stay here and clean and watch tv,, most of the time cry,,, he buys things and don't want to help me I just don't understand why a son would do a parent that way,, I wanted to go to my nicies birthday and I didnt have away so I was going to ride with them ,, they got up and just left me here,, he said he knocked on my door but he did not I was asleep he just didn't want me going with them I don't get ,,, why do your kids lie to about dumb crap so I'm just saying I need to get on with my life how do I let him go and not help him any more no matter what,, this is so hard cause I love the little girls so much and his girlfriend is so sweet too, but she just does what he tells her to do ,, I don't know ,,,

Castle Rock, CO

#35 May 12, 2012
I understand what you are saying. It is so heartbreaking after we have brought them up and they trat us like this for no reasons. I guess there really is no answers but you would think they would realize this hurts us.I guess sometimes we do to much for our children and we are the ones who get crapped on. I hope things will eventually look up for you but in the meantime remenber that you are a worthy person and no matter how they treat us and hurt us we still must go on. Good Luck.
Please Help


#37 Sep 2, 2012
my brother keeps treaating my mum like crap he doesnt do anything she tells him to do and he keeps commenting on things that she does like saying she eats stupid and she makes the house look ugly saying rude and mean things that you should never say to your mother
mum gives everything she can she makes the best out of what she has and what she can give
my brother can put her in tears and not care he yells at her for no reason and verbally abuses her what should i do ?

Marietta, NY

#38 Sep 2, 2012
This is a spoiled rotten, lazy generation and I know countless parents who will tell you the same. I talked to one mother last night who said she and her husband may move out of the area just to get away from her adult (in their 20's) children. She said she knew it sounded terrible but they could not stand it much longer! I know that feeling...I am contemplating the same!
Helen Miller

Wayne, NJ

#39 Sep 22, 2012
My oldest daughter just moved out of state to live with her boyfriend. We always gave her whatever we could. I was a stay at home Mom and devoted my life to raising her and her three siblings. I never bought myself anything as money was tight and gave everything I could. Well to make a long story short my husband went to help her move in. She already had a attitude b4 we got there because we could not stay ovrnight with her boyfriends parents who we just would have met that day! I have a 17 year old who I had to leave home to help her and I have no support or family to help watch him take him to work..anyway..she started in as soon as we pulled in with all her things - truck filled and tied down with all her belongings. She brought up why we were not staying and I calmly told her my reason again...then she barely spoke to me the entire time while I moved in all her things. While in her apartment she handed me all the cleaning products and instructed me what to do. Later she told me she had to do her first grocery shopping and told me that it would be my treat..I just looked at her..again I did not want to cause a fight..so we all went to the grocery store..her boyfriend got one cart and then she got another and filled in with everything they could get their hands on..My husband just kept saying to her to just get the basics..she did not even look at pries. Mind you when I shop at home I cut coupons, cook almost everything from scratch..so I was dieing. So then we are on line, and I'm sweating, she turns to me and says "You are acting so weird what is wrong with YOU?" I just explained that I was tired again..trying not to cause a scene. AFter my husband paid the bill she gives me a icy "Thank you" and I said drying SURE" My husband kept whispering to me dobn't worry this is it after this everything she buys she will have to pay for,,but I felt violated.
It also was the day before my birthday and you would think she would have got me a card or something..nothing...The next day she did call for my birthday but never sent anything. I have been very depressed over how selfish she has turned out - she was spoiled and given to much and now it is too late. My husband keeps reassuring me that she will come to appreciate me as she has to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning herself but I fear this added stress will make her more nasty. Now I have to live with the fact of what she clearly is nasty, spoiled and the world should revolve around her. I am sorry to say I feel no need to reach out to her - I will leave her to her own life and pray God will change her. Thank u for listening.

Massena, NY

#40 Sep 24, 2012
my mom and dad separted and my mom told me if. i had anything to do with my dad she will disown me.so i didnt.she says that he ran on her .well it wasnt true it was her that ran on him.i was wrong or not having anything to do wth him and now he wont talk to me.and im not a kid either nd im sorry for that.mothers have ways of turning there kids away from there fathers.and that is wrong.

Cincinnati, OH

#41 Sep 30, 2012
You guys aren't alone. My husband and I going through the same thing with our adult kids. We too are considering moving far away and maybe adopting a child who would love to have someone love them and spend time with them. We never even get a phone call from our kids unless they need something. Yet, when we call for a get-together, there's always an excuse or worse yet, say they'll be here and then just not show- no phone call or anything. Never thought I'd be in an emotionally abusive relationship with my own kids, a rollercoaster ride like a bad relationship. Somehow, we gotta love life and ourselves enough to live life to the fullest anyway. Sad thing is, and I never thought I'd say this, but I see us loving our kids less deeply than as we did before. And sometimes, my husband and I take it out on each other subconsciously.....

United States

#42 Sep 30, 2012
Start living your own lives,really adopt another kid why??? You people need to think everyone grows up and has their OWN lives yes its true..it does happen and will continue to.your old and lonely get a hobby,get out buy a fish for christ sakes.stop being stuck in your kids aholes they will call or stop by...they do know you exist.

Boston, MA

#43 Oct 1, 2012
Aparently you don,t have any kids.
sad mom

Ft Mitchell, KY

#44 Nov 5, 2012

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