Since: Apr 14

Hempstead, NY

#1 Apr 18, 2014
So basically... I need help. Because i really am tired of putting myself through this emotional roller coaster. I deserve stability and someone who loves me equally if not more. Anyway, i fell completely and delierously in love with this guy i work with. He was new on the job but had a higher position. He got word i liked him. But he liked my bestfriend.. And she tells me. Im crushed but he still continues to talk to me as friends. A big fight happens between them. She almost gets him fired. He hates her. clings to me even more. Now we tite.( trying to sum it up so it wont be so long ). I start to fall hard. Even though we are clearly friends. I tried to getting him 3 times by telling him these feelings. Each time he shut me down. Saying he doesnt want to date Anyone at his job. Let alone his bosses daughter 😩. So anyway, i left it. But i would distance myself because of how he set the record straight. So to avoid getting closer i would fall back. The more i did, the more he'd notice and reel me back in with convo. soon as he gets me, he goes back to being comfortable and goes back to treatn me like one of the guys but when i fall back, he puts in alot of effort to get me back in his grips. One night we got drunk. He was all over me. Singing to me. Laying on me. Flirting and all. & ended up venting to me about how hes adopted and all. A real heart to heart. Few days later he brings up the fact that hes talking to a potential girlfren.. Im like huh!? I just was pushing for more of him becuase he would give me attention and id run with that because my feelings were so strong .New years comes. I find out on facebook he magically is now in a relationship. Crushed and not so surprised i broke down.. It was like i was situationally depressed for weeks. I had to see him 4x a week. So it was hard. I finally opened up to him abt it. He then sends me a paragraph from another girl thats sayn the same. Hes like "im not trying to sound cocky at all but alot of girls r hurt abt this.. Alot of girls are sendn me paragraphs abt being upset abt this new relationship". I WAS SO ENRAGED!! The audacity!!!! at the point i was encouraged from that to leave him alone for good. But of course, he made sure we stayed frens. And we did. I moved on.. Or at least i thought i did. Speed up to now..were pretty close frens. But im realizing i still have pretty deep feelings. He made me upset last night and i had so many emotions i couldnt believe how upset he got me. I then realized i stil loved him.. Still in love. Everyones telling me im crazy.. But idk. People r like "yall fight lik a couple".. And i wish it were true. I dont think im his type. Maybe thats it. He likes skinny girls. Im thicker. Not BIG BIG. But yea.. Idk. One of his friends like me. He forbids me to mess with him.. Or (in his words) he'll mess with my friend. Why so overprotective? Thats just one of many things that make me question if he likes me... Im in love tho .. Help

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