Adult Children Ignore Me
Pud

Sardinia, OH

#21 Apr 1, 2014
Once the little [email protected] turn 18 you are not legally obligated to support them in Ohio. Never loan them money without collateral and an ironclad contractual repayment structure. People tend to bring grief upon themselves in the name of love.
Lonely mom

Oceanside, CA

#22 Aug 9, 2014
I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this. I know there are loving adult children out there, but mine isn't one. She's not consistent.
Bill daddy

Muskegon, MI

#23 Aug 30, 2014
kuda wrote:
<quoted text>
Your post makes me feel sad. Your children sound so self-absorbed that they have no respect for others around them, especially you whom they take for granted. I suspect you may have spoiled them rotten, but you deserve a relationship of mutual respect.
Why not get them together, ask them to turn off their cell phones, show them your post, tell them that you love them, want them to treat you with respect and that their disrespectful behavior is extremely painful for you. Ironically, if they donít change, their own children will grow up to treat them as poorly as they treat you. Show them my response to your post too! Maybe it will help.
Take off and move and forget about em. You are young enough to start over and live a great life.
Shame on them, I have a step son who treats his mother the same way. I say piss on him and his crappy kids. Getting on our Harley and hitting the road. Also, I (we) are not leaving them a single dime or anything else.
Only the sitter

Oak Lawn, IL

#24 Nov 10, 2014
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom wrote:
I am a 60 year old woman with two adult children that don't spend any quality time with me. I babysit for their children when needed and try to be thoughtful to both of my adult children, but they make fun of me because I have some little quirks in my behavior that they find amusing - like eating potato chips and putting two or three in my mouth at once or because I groan with my aching back (say I grunt) and other things they say I do that I can't think of right now. I really try to not do anything around them that they think is silly or tacky or stupid, but the harder I try, it seems like I do even more things that are silly, tacky or stupid. When my children are around me, they spend most of their time talking or viewing whatever it is on their phones even when we have gone out to dinner (on rare occasions). I have considered just letting them go and not be a part of their lives anymore. It will hurt to do that, but it is obvious they have no love or respect for me. I have friends that have adult children that treat them wonderfully. I messed up somewhere. I don't think this situation can be fixed - mentioning to my children how I feel when I am around them will probably just alienate them further. I feel like I am walking on egg shells, unable to be my true self when around them. I can change the chip eating habit and try not to "grunt", but I can't change everything about me. I just wondered if their are other seniors out there that gets mistreated by their adult children.
I know exactly how you feel. I have three daughters two of them have children the other has her live in.s grandchild, I,m 71 and baby sit full time. I have become the sitter, not the grandma or mother. I admit I made a mistake 25 years ago and ended my marriage, I have tried for years to make it up to them. They treat their father like a king, my oldest grand child is 3 but has been to my home less then 5 times. Every time I suggest something or try to help I,m shot down .
I have thought many times there is no place in their lives for me. I have come so close to walking away but always try to give it one more chance only to be disappointed again. Hang in there. You are not alone. This is a selfish generation I think.
Charlie girl

Ottawa, Canada

#25 Jan 23, 2015
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom wrote:
I am a 60 year old woman with two adult children that don't spend any quality time with me. I babysit for their children when needed and try to be thoughtful to both of my adult children, but they make fun of me because I have some little quirks in my behavior that they find amusing - like eating potato chips and putting two or three in my mouth at once or because I groan with my aching back (say I grunt) and other things they say I do that I can't think of right now. I really try to not do anything around them that they think is silly or tacky or stupid, but the harder I try, it seems like I do even more things that are silly, tacky or stupid. When my children are around me, they spend most of their time talking or viewing whatever it is on their phones even when we have gone out to dinner (on rare occasions). I have considered just letting them go and not be a part of their lives anymore. It will hurt to do that, but it is obvious they have no love or respect for me. I have friends that have adult children that treat them wonderfully. I messed up somewhere. I don't think this situation can be fixed - mentioning to my children how I feel when I am around them will probably just alienate them further. I feel like I am walking on egg shells, unable to be my true self when around them. I can change the chip eating habit and try not to "grunt", but I can't change everything about me. I just wondered if their are other seniors out there that gets mistreated by their adult children.
Hi, I have two grown daughters who treat me awful I don't even want to be around them or talk to them and I love them so much but I can't take it. Their loss.
Lorna
bambuddha57

United States

#26 Feb 16, 2015
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom wrote:
I am a 60 year old woman with two adult children that don't spend any quality time with me. I babysit for their children when needed and try to be thoughtful to both of my adult children, but they make fun of me because I have some little quirks in my behavior that they find amusing - like eating potato chips and putting two or three in my mouth at once or because I groan with my aching back (say I grunt) and other things they say I do that I can't think of right now. I really try to not do anything around them that they think is silly or tacky or stupid, but the harder I try, it seems like I do even more things that are silly, tacky or stupid. When my children are around me, they spend most of their time talking or viewing whatever it is on their phones even when we have gone out to dinner (on rare occasions). I have considered just letting them go and not be a part of their lives anymore. It will hurt to do that, but it is obvious they have no love or respect for me. I have friends that have adult children that treat them wonderfully. I messed up somewhere. I don't think this situation can be fixed - mentioning to my children how I feel when I am around them will probably just alienate them further. I feel like I am walking on egg shells, unable to be my true self when around them. I can change the chip eating habit and try not to "grunt", but I can't change everything about me. I just wondered if their are other seniors out there that gets mistreated by their adult children.
Mine act as if I don't exist, they don't call, miss birthdays and fathers day. I've quit chasing them, it hurts but you can't force the relationship so I just treat them like they treat me.
Earn respect

Bowling Green, KY

#27 Feb 16, 2015
You guys have some very disrespectful children. Be yourself and not the image they push you to be.
Stop doing for them and earn their respect. Step up and shout how you feel, if they don't like it they can move on or get over it.
Anonymous

United States

#29 Mar 11, 2015
GrandPap wrote:
Get em together and slap the vinegar out of em. That'll learn em.
Most everyone under 30 are total brats. We couldn't even spank the little shyts without children's services showing up. So of course these grown brats have no respect. Throw them out. That's what I did with my 2 disrespectful brats. Sure its sad but I'm better off with no using lying disrespectful azzhole son n daughter treating me badly in my "golden years"!
Gramma

Cincinnati, OH

#30 Mar 13, 2015
I've tracked comments here for about a year now. My grandson ran away but called me first. Afraid, terrified of his fathers upcoming visit.( both of his parents are pure mean & evil). They HATE ME since 2009 a serious heart attack.
When he was found in my summer camper, she tried her hardest to get me in Jail! A court filing I appealed & she LOST. Then she tried for a Felony & was so excited ' confident.
After an hour long interview, he told me, your NOTHING like I've been told, and do you know there is NO LOVE in this family? So---both parents have shown there true colors & we now have an Army of HER ppl backing US UP to get Custody...from her, permanently.(Karma)
Gramma

Cincinnati, OH

#31 Mar 13, 2015
t8rsalad wrote:
<quoted text>
Most everyone under 30 are total brats. We couldn't even spank the little shyts without children's services showing up. So of course these grown brats have no respect. Throw them out. That's what I did with my 2 disrespectful brats. Sure its sad but I'm better off with no using lying disrespectful azzhole son n daughter treating me badly in my "golden years"!
Sadly, you are so right.but, "most" is the key words. I've seen some great kids, totally the opposite.
I think we all AGREE, let them go & move on. Don't look back (like I did for a few YEARS) trying to fins an "excuse" for them. Keep on Truckin...FORWARD.
Urusla

Arlington, VA

#32 Jul 12, 2015
I am experiencing some of this myself with my 2 grown kids. This is passive-aggressive meanness. I wonder if they didn't stand to inherit anything if they would even be nice at all. It makes me want to spend it all before I die, and I just might. My siblings and I were always kind and attentive to our parents, even though they really didn't do much for us. Maybe I did too much for these ingrates that I call my kids. Also, it is of no solace to good parents, but I have observed through other families that awful, emotionally neglectful parents are the ones who ironically get most attention from their kids well through adulthood because the kids are constantly craving affection and attention they never had. And yet the great parents give their kids the gift to grow wings and fly the nest, and be totally and utterly self-sufficient and get ignored. It is a strange and uncomfortable truth.
Catlover

Hampton, VA

#33 Sep 1, 2015
My husband has Parkinson's disease. He has 2 adult children who live less than 30 minutes away. They make very little effort to see him. He has helped his son to the tune of $30000 and helped his daughter a little. He maintains and supports 2 boats that his son uses. His son occasionally calls and says he's coming over to do boat stuff and then he doesn't show up or call. His daughter calls him occasionally to get him to take her to lunch. Recently there was a birthday party for his daughter and sons wife which we didn't get invited too. Another family member called to see if we were coming. My husband called his son to asked about it and his son said, "you can come or you can make an issue of not being invited". No apology for not inviting us but very hateful refusing to admit he forgot to invite us. We went but it was very awkward. My husband is struggling with health cand memory issues and these kids could careless. What to do, he is very defensive about his kids.
Nunya

Cincinnati, OH

#34 Sep 3, 2015
My goodness...lots of people feeling sorry for themselves. While a few of you seem to have a valid point the large majority of you are acting like "victims" bc of the circle of life and seem to resent your children for spreading their wings. It's no wonder why your kids don't want to be around you. Ease up, stop being so critical and join in with your grown children as they embrace whatever phase of life they are in!!!!:)#just my 2 cents
Aestu

Peebles, OH

#35 Sep 23, 2015
Reading between the lines, I get the impression you are a fat, disgusting, self-absorbed person and that is probably why they do not want to talk to you. Simple as that.
Nunya

Cincinnati, OH

#36 Sep 23, 2015
HUH???? Why don't you just put more effort in reading the actual lines bc clearly you are not part of this discussion:/)
GrammaBychslap

United States

#37 Sep 29, 2015
Aestu wrote:
Reading between the lines, I get the impression you are a fat, disgusting, self-absorbed person and that is probably why they do not want to talk to you. Simple as that.
Im wondering whose ungrateful shlt4brains grown brat you are, are you one of mine? Because you know if youre one of mine, you have an azzwhipping coming to you, for spewing that tripe at your elders! SimpleAsThat.
Aestu

Peebles, OH

#38 Oct 3, 2015
GrammaBychslap wrote:
<quoted text>
Im wondering whose ungrateful shlt4brains grown brat you are, are you one of mine? Because you know if youre one of mine, you have an azzwhipping coming to you, for spewing that tripe at your elders! SimpleAsThat.
The mere fact of being older than some people is not in itself honorable. If the best thing you can say about yourself is that you've managed to survive to a certain age, the implication is you've accomplished nothing else, and aren't in a position to be respected by or give direction to anyone.
What Went Wrong

Baxter, TN

#39 Oct 12, 2015
I have 2 adult kids who are mature and good people in their own right and have made good lives for themselves (both single). I grew up with nothing so we gave our kids as much as we were capable of giving so they could have a good childhood. The issue now is that everything is about them. If we don't call, there is no conversation. When we do speak (if they actually answer and don't let the voice mail kick in) it's NEVER about us... not even "how are you feeling today?" They ALWAYS have time for to converse with their friends. All we ever ask for is a phone call once in a while just to see if we're dead or alive. I call my Mother on a regular basis just to check on her. They never call her.
I do not want to be estranged from them (there's enough of that in the family already). I know there's no perfect answer, but wanted to get feedback/ suggestions from others in the same boat.
Karen

Langley, Canada

#40 Nov 6, 2015
Hurt Senior Citizen Mom wrote:
I am a 60 year old woman with two adult children that don't spend any quality time with me. I babysit for their children when needed and try to be thoughtful to both of my adult children, but they make fun of me because I have some little quirks in my behavior that they find amusing - like eating potato chips and putting two or three in my mouth at once or because I groan with my aching back (say I grunt) and other things they say I do that I can't think of right now. I really try to not do anything around them that they think is silly or tacky or stupid, but the harder I try, it seems like I do even more things that are silly, tacky or stupid. When my children are around me, they spend most of their time talking or viewing whatever it is on their phones even when we have gone out to dinner (on rare occasions). I have considered just letting them go and not be a part of their lives anymore. It will hurt to do that, but it is obvious they have no love or respect for me. I have friends that have adult children that treat them wonderfully. I messed up somewhere. I don't think this situation can be fixed - mentioning to my children how I feel when I am around them will probably just alienate them further. I feel like I am walking on egg shells, unable to be my true self when around them. I can change the chip eating habit and try not to "grunt", but I can't change everything about me. I just wondered if their are other seniors out there that gets mistreated by their adult children.
Oh my God. THANKYOU for sharing this battle. I too suffer with the same thing. I raised my children alone. Same schools both graduated one a pharmacy tech one a blue collar worker. Now in their 30s.
I babysat my first 2 grandchildren weekly for the first 41/2 years. Then I moved not far opposite direction. We'll I can count on one hand the amount of times they have been here in 31/2 years. I tried the talk , but to no avail. Really only care to see me when they need something.
I suffer with M.E. and have been very ill at times. I get nothing. No calls no texts no visits!
Now my older sisters kids were the same until they RECOGNIZED THEIR OWN MORTALITY.
Sad but true as the oldest generation starts passing anD they get closer to the their own potential death things seem to change.
Suddenly they are aware that their parents are in the dieing generation which puts them up NEXT.
My oldest niece is fugh ting breast cancer and I have seen am attitude shift with all of her children.
So for this I am hopeful
K
BrerRabbit

United States

#41 Nov 25, 2015
There is a song titled "The Way" by FastTrack that is worth listening to. It is relevant to our topic, I believe, and has become one of my favorite songs, and my husband's too. There is a backstory to this song which is worth checking out too.

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