Comments
41 - 60 of 70 Comments Last updated May 6, 2013
Mark

Danville, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#41
May 2, 2013
 
JesusCreed wrote:
<quoted text>
lol. I posted the same thing before seeing your comment. Yes, thats is why I chose your answer. I do this with anybody. It must line up with God's Word. Mike and Mark were not on the same page yet somehow you and I have reached the same conclusions on many issues. Wished SW would jump back in here- he went to Johnny's church and was well schooled in Johnny's teaching yet he came to the same conclusions once he removed the blinders.
jc, I believe Mike is saying that if the husband & wife were involved in fornication (both in an affair) at the time of putting away then neither would be eligeable to remarry. And I agree with that And he can correct me if I'm wrong.
In the supposed situation if Ruby's husband committed fornication ten or twenty years ago and they reconciled (he repented, she forgave) then she cannot put him away for that sin.
In like manner Ruby stated that she was the first to committ fornication (had an affair) but they reconciled, therefore he could not put her away for that sin but then she did it again some time later and he put her away for that. He would be eligeable to remarry. She can't claim to have put him away for something they had already reconciled.

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42
May 2, 2013
 
Mark wrote:
<quoted text>
jc, I believe Mike is saying that if the husband & wife were involved in fornication (both in an affair) at the time of putting away then neither would be eligeable to remarry. And I agree with that And he can correct me if I'm wrong.
In the supposed situation if Ruby's husband committed fornication ten or twenty years ago and they reconciled (he repented, she forgave) then she cannot put him away for that sin.
In like manner Ruby stated that she was the first to committ fornication (had an affair) but they reconciled, therefore he could not put her away for that sin but then she did it again some time later and he put her away for that. He would be eligeable to remarry. She can't claim to have put him away for something they had already reconciled.
For starters, her husband divorced her. She said that several times. She also stated that he had stopped his adultery while they were married and she did not. He then filed for divorce because she wouldn’t stop thus he is free to remarry because he repented-changed his mind and stopped while they were married. She, however, did not … thus her husband divorced her on grounds of adultery. Mike said it doesn’t matter. I know other brethren close to you who say Ruby’s husband can remarry because he stopped cheating while married and divorced because his wife continued her adultery.
Mike Conner

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#43
May 2, 2013
 
JesusCreed wrote:
<quoted text>
For starters, her husband divorced her. She said that several times. She also stated that he had stopped his adultery while they were married and she did not. He then filed for divorce because she wouldn’t stop thus he is free to remarry because he repented-changed his mind and stopped while they were married. She, however, did not … thus her husband divorced her on grounds of adultery. Mike said it doesn’t matter. I know other brethren close to you who say Ruby’s husband can remarry because he stopped cheating while married and divorced because his wife continued her adultery.
I missed the part about them reconciling. I agee then that if they had reconciled and then she did it again then he would have grounds to put her away.

I said earlier that it didnt matter who "filed first" if they were both in adultery.
Mark

Danville, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#44
May 2, 2013
 
Read the text,
Mt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Did her husband put her away for fornication the first time?
No! They reconciled.
Did Ruby put her husband away for fornication the first time?
No! They reconciled.
Did her husband put her away for fornication the second time?
Yes! Where is the difficulty?

Are you saying there are those that affirm that she could still claim to have put him away for fornication even after they had reconciled some time ago?
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#45
May 2, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

Points to consider:

Paul's response in 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 is the same as Jesus' response in Matthew 19. Remember-both are speaking to people who are in a covenant relationship with God. God does expect His people to stay married, and if they separate, they must either remain UNMARRIED or be reconciled. Notice-he said unmarried. The bond has been broken-and no mention of fornication. This is a Christian marriage that is broken by the way. No charge of adultery is made here either. If this Christian couple would marry other persons here, they would be in violation of the Lord's command.

Note-that says nothing about the pagans, the unbelievers, those not in a covenant status with God. Those people for the most part couldn't care less what God's word says on the subject. But what if they desire to obey the Lord later? Do they have to go fix the previous relationship? Are they living in adultery, sin? Break up their current home?

*Paul states that believers who are abandoned by their unbelieving spouses are free to remarry. There is no hint of fornication or adultery here. The marriage is dissolved. Thus, there is more than one legal way in God's eyes for a marriage to end. Adultery in itself is not all alone.

*Paul's central thought in this chapter- "Remain in whatever state you were called in".

*How about those divorced before becoming Christians? Is it possible that verses 27-28 cover that situation? I believe so.

*The coc "solution for fixing adultery" violates God's revealed law on the subject. The coc would have couples- who divorced previously, remarried other partners, then became Christians-leave their current spouses, and return to the original spouse to fix the adultery. If it was impossible, then no marriage ever again. There are some problems.

The law of Moses clearly stated that couples in that situation were NOT to return and remarry, for that would defile the land. Yet the traditional divorce teaching would require exactly that.

Jesus said whoever divorces his wife and marries another, except for fornication, commits adultery. If your second spouse did not commit adultery on you, are you then guilty of committing adultery on the second spouse? Or are you going to divorce your second spouse for sins you committed? How does any of that fix anything?

The traditional view makes no sense in the light of scripture. As Bobby said, divorce is no different than any other sin, and you deal with it as such. Jesus is the sin fixer, not us. God desires all marriages to be for life. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. But He also gives us 2nd, 3rd, 4th and more chances. But yet on marriage, you got one shot, and if you mess it up-tough luck; even if you have no idea about God's standard for marriage? That ain't scriptural, and I don't buy that or believe it.
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#46
May 2, 2013
 
JesusCreed wrote:
<quoted text>
lol. I posted the same thing before seeing your comment. Yes, thats is why I chose your answer. I do this with anybody. It must line up with God's Word. Mike and Mark were not on the same page yet somehow you and I have reached the same conclusions on many issues. Wished SW would jump back in here- he went to Johnny's church and was well schooled in Johnny's teaching yet he came to the same conclusions once he removed the blinders.
SW, you, and myself hold a lot of the same beliefs on many things. As time goes on, I get closer to his idea of "don't go to church be the church", and ready to start "having home church". I wonder if we all shouldn't "come out of Babylon". My friend at work feels the same way. There's four of us!

Seeking Wanderer, if you are reading any of this, feel free to return any time you wish. Hmmmm, we have 2 conservatives with different opinions, but 3 from different places and backgrounds who come to the same conclusions.
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#47
May 2, 2013
 
How can this be true when me and my husband never even been saved.

Show me support for this crazy talk. Where in my bible is there somebody told they cant remarry and not be forgiven. Are you saying that when I got baptized in jesus name that I wasn’t forgiven of my sin of adulterer. God holds that against me? Come on now this is just plain stupid. If he forgave me then how come I am not able to remarry.

*This is besides the point, but we all know this is a planned discussion right? Either that or Ruby Taylor forgot about some things she had said before.

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#48
May 3, 2013
 
Mike Conner wrote:
<quoted text>
I missed the part about them reconciling. I agee then that if they had reconciled and then she did it again then he would have grounds to put her away.
I said earlier that it didnt matter who "filed first" if they were both in adultery.
I agree with post 45.

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#49
May 3, 2013
 
Mike Conner wrote:
<quoted text>
I missed the part about them reconciling. I agee then that if they had reconciled and then she did it again then he would have grounds to put her away.
I said earlier that it didnt matter who "filed first" if they were both in adultery.
I must be reading the wrong thread. She never said they reconciled. She said her husband discontinued his affair but she continued hers, which led to him filing for divorce. In many coc this would free her husband to remarry. But the only way, according to other coc, for her to remarry, would be if her husband died after the divorce. And yes ... some conservative coc teach this. If I understand Ruby right, she later became saved, maybe stopped her affair, and now is questioning why she NOW cant remarry since her adultery was done while a sinner. Again, I think the position Dave sets forth is biblical. SW, a former member of Johnny's, also understands this as we do.
Walkinginlove

Danville, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#50
May 3, 2013
 
Mark wrote:
Ruby says she cheated on her husband and he did not put her away for this, if she repented of this sin and they were reconciled that sin should be remembered no more. Then Ruby's husband cheated on her and she did not put him away for that. If Ruby's husband repented of his sin and they reconciled that sin should be remembered no more. However Ruby admits that she cheated again and her husband put her away for this. She is not eligable to remarry and if her husband did not repent and is still with the woman he had an affair with he is living in adultery and if they marry he causes the woman he marries to be living in adultery.
Mt 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
This also applies to the wife putting her husband away. It is pretty obvious, if the story is true, that Ruby did not put her husband away for the reason stated, but only because she got caught the second time. Sounds like Ruby wants to have her cake and eat it to, in other words she wants a husband and others to. And that being the case why is she concerned about marriage or what God's word says concerning it anyway?
Since you believe this do you also believe that all those who divorced in the Old Testament all went to hell?

Does God ever speak of unfaithfulness to his covenants as adultery?

Id Moses guilty of leading others into the sin of divorce? Is God?
Walkinginlove

Danville, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#51
May 3, 2013
 

Judged:

1

Also since marriage is at the moment that two become one flesh, arn't the marraige covenant violated at the moment that someone is unfaithful even in thought? Since if a man or woman looks on another with lust in their hearts they have commited adultery?

And if someone has sexual relations with another before "marriage" are they not actually already married given the fact that marriage is not a spoken set of words but when two become one flesh?
Walkinginlove

Danville, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#52
May 3, 2013
 
Ruby Taylor wrote:
I am in need of some advice. I see many preachers on here and hope for some help. I am a middle age lady who was married for 22 years and it was rocky to say the least. I cheated on my husband but he continued to stay by my side but years later he cheated to. To make a long story short as possible I began having an affair to when I discovered he was seeing another woman. I got advice from a preacher because I know the bible teaches against divorce except for adultery. I told the preacher that me and my husband both cheated and he said it was a race to the court house which meant whoever filed first for divorce could remarry but the other could not. Well my husband managed to file first cause of the adultery and now I am being told that I cannot remarry. We both cheated and both had affairs but he beat me to divorce and now he is free to marry and I’m not. This is what a preacher told me. How can this be true when me and my husband never even been saved. Do the bible rules mean for lost and saved cant remarry if spouse divorces first over adultery. If we both doing adultery but he filed first he gets by and can remarry while I cannot that just don’t make much sense to me and yes for the record it was cofC preacher told me this.
According to the churches of Christ you should kill your husband, then if you can claim insanity and not be put to death by the state you are free to remarry.

According to reality I wouldn't take the above advice either. But in is fact that under the hardline teachings of MDR of the CoC you can murder and be forgiven since you can not raise the dead but you can not be forgiven of remarriage if someone divorces you, thus logicly if you kill your former husband you are then no longer hell bound for the remarraige.

Unfortunately people do not believe that God has common sense and thus create these docterines because of painting themselves into a corner and wanting to take the moral high ground before their piers!
Bobby

Fort Worth, TX

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#53
May 3, 2013
 
Walkinginlove wrote:
Also since marriage is at the moment that two become one flesh, arn't the marraige covenant violated at the moment that someone is unfaithful even in thought? Since if a man or woman looks on another with lust in their hearts they have commited adultery?
And if someone has sexual relations with another before "marriage" are they not actually already married given the fact that marriage is not a spoken set of words but when two become one flesh?
Ouch, that could convict all of us...
Walkinginlove

Danville, VA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#54
May 3, 2013
 
Bobby wrote:
<quoted text>
Ouch, that could convict all of us...
Sorry Bobby the church is to busy collecting their stack of stones to throw at each other to see their true condition!
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#55
May 3, 2013
 
Bobby wrote:
<quoted text>
Ouch, that could convict all of us...
Pass the shoe shine, WIL just stepped on a lot of toes. Who else needs some? ;)
Great points by WIL.
Mike Peterson

Birmingham, AL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#56
May 3, 2013
 
Is anybody's current marital status affecting their views on this one? Just a thought.
Bobby

Fort Worth, TX

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#57
May 3, 2013
 
Mike Peterson wrote:
Is anybody's current marital status affecting their views on this one? Just a thought.
I have been married only once and still married to the same woman.

Speaking of Marriage we just got back from a 3 hour marriage seminar. My wife and I worked in child care so that others could attend-I am pooped.
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#58
May 3, 2013
 
Mike Peterson wrote:
Is anybody's current marital status affecting their views on this one? Just a thought.
Nope, married to same woman for 13 years, 3 kids.
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#59
May 3, 2013
 
Also married only once. No kids before marriage either.
Dave P

Morehead, KY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#60
May 3, 2013
 
I want to clarify something I may have said earlier. Divorce itself is NOT a sin-if that were true God is a sinner. It is the actions that lead to divorce that are sin, for one or both parties.

I didn't want anyone to think I said God was sinful. Hope no one took it that way.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

•••
•••
•••

Martinsville Jobs

•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••

Martinsville People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Martinsville News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Martinsville
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••