Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#1 Jul 25, 2013
How do you kill a Church of Christ evangelist?

Be a Baptist, lock him up inside a room with you, and offer him a free dinner and watch him starve to death instead of fellowshipping with you.
William

Birmingham, AL

#2 Jul 25, 2013
Or offer to re-re-re-baptize him while a piano plays "Greet Each Other With An Holy Kiss."

Except that might get weird.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#3 Jul 25, 2013
Why did the Church of Christ evangelist go to the zoo?

Because his Bible told him to preach the gospel to every creature.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#4 Jul 25, 2013
Why do the Church of Christ evangelists never carry cash?

They don't believe in denominations.

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#5 Jul 26, 2013
Why did the Church of Christ preacher have the Lord's supper with Hershey's chocolate?

So they could obey the Bible and greet each other with a holy Kiss.
Mike Peterson

Birmingham, AL

#6 Jul 26, 2013
A protestant gets in a plane crash and ends up stuck on a deserted island. Years go by, and finally someone else gets stuck on the same island with him.

The protestant says:“Let me show you around.”
Pointing to a small hut, he says:“That’s where I live.”

The visitor then notices two other huts nearby.“What are those huts for?”

The protestant replies:“Well this one is where I go to church, and that other one is where I USED to go to church.”
William

Birmingham, AL

#7 Jul 26, 2013
A small country church is having Sunday service, and right in the middle of the sermon, a big flash of smoke and fire happens and Satan appears next to the pulpit.

Everyone, including the preacher, run screaming from the building except for one old man sitting in the front pew.

Curious, Satan walks over to him and says, "You know who I am, right?"

"Yep. Know exactly who you are."

"You aren't scared of me, old man? Everyone is scared of me! I am Satan!"

"Nope. Not scared of you in the slightest."

Really curious now, Satan leans in and says, "This is most curious. Why aren't you terrified of me?"

"Well," the old man says, "I've been married to your sister for going on 75 years now. You can't possibly be any worse."
William

Birmingham, AL

#8 Jul 26, 2013
A Catholic priest is on his way back to Boston from Providence following a wedding. The priest has been drinking wine and is driving drunk. He is weaving all over the road and a Massachusetts state trooper pulls him over.

The cop comes up to the car and the priest rolls down the window. The cop can smell booze, and sees several bottles on the floor and in the seat next to the priest.

"Hello Padre. Are you doing OK? You were all over the road back there and I smell alcohol coming from your car. And are those wine bottles in your car? You haven't been drinking, have you?"

"Why no, sonny. Those are water bottles."

"Water bottles? Are you sure?

"Yes sir. Water bottles."

"And you drank from these bottles?"

"Yes sir. Sure did."

"Well, would you mind telling me how you've got wine on your breath, if these bottles had water in them?

The priest thinks for a moment and says ...

"Well it's a miracle! HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!!!"
Anonymous Proxy

Manassas, VA

#9 Jul 26, 2013
William wrote:
A small country church is having Sunday service, and right in the middle of the sermon, a big flash of smoke and fire happens and Satan appears next to the pulpit.
Everyone, including the preacher, run screaming from the building except for one old man sitting in the front pew.
Curious, Satan walks over to him and says, "You know who I am, right?"
"Yep. Know exactly who you are."
"You aren't scared of me, old man? Everyone is scared of me! I am Satan!"
"Nope. Not scared of you in the slightest."
Really curious now, Satan leans in and says, "This is most curious. Why aren't you terrified of me?"
"Well," the old man says, "I've been married to your sister for going on 75 years now. You can't possibly be any worse."
What was his wife called? The Catholic church?
Preacher man

Chesapeake, VA

#10 Jul 26, 2013
The white Baptist and the black pentescostral was arguing of which of which color God is, The white Baptist says he is white, the black pentescostral says he is black. This goes back and forth until God gets a little up set and says "I am who I am" and the white baptist said " I told you he is white", The black pentescostral says" he didn't say he was white, The white baptist said He saiD "I am who I am" Not " I is who I is".
Mike Peterson

Jackson, MS

#11 Jul 27, 2013
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.

I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said.I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?

""Well... are you religious or Atheist?""Religious. ""Me too!

Are you Christian or Jewish?""Christian. ""Me too!

Are you Catholic or Protestant?""Protest ant.""Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?""Baptist. ""Wow! Me too!

Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of theLord?""Baptist Church of God.""Me too!

Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you ReformedBaptist Church of God?""Reformed Baptist Church of God.""Me too!

Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?""Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!

"To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
Barnweb

Canton, OH

#12 Jul 28, 2013
We argue against each other because we don't abide in whatever He said. If we agreed to do what He said to do, there would be not be division in the Church.

The old hell-fire and brimstone preacher who ended every sermon with:'And the LORD will send His holy angel to blow the trumpet, judge the wicked, and send them straight to hell!' To boys decided to pull a prank on the old minister, and the next Sunday hid themselves in the upper loft. When the old preacher ended his sermon, declaring Gods' angels to 'Blow the trumpet', the two boys blew their trumpets as loudly as possible... everyone was startled, but the old preacher was the first one out the front door, and exclaimed:'God! Can't you take a joke?!'
Barnweb

Canton, OH

#13 Jul 28, 2013
Then there are the jokes about Moses, Peter, Jesus and the Pope playing golf and Jesus walking on water - but dang if I can recall that one. Anyone remember it?

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