An open letter to Michael Abbott/AKA Chewbit/AKA Wahili Escagwaee

Posted in the Marble Hill Forum

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1 - 7 of 7 Comments Last updated Jan 10, 2013
The Former Mrs Abbott

Leesburg, IN

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#1
Nov 21, 2012
 

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As a wife, I wanted to support you in every way, and I found myself staying silent on many issues in order to spare your feelings. Now that you've disrespected me by cheating, I feel that my silence was undeserved. So, I'd like to clear a few things up, in a public arena, to be preserved on the interwebz for time immemorial:
1. You don't sound like Eddie Vedder when you sing. Not even close.
2. There's no race of little people that currently live on this planet. I meant it when I said I would punch one in the face if I found it in our house. Guess what? I never got the chance, because they don't exist.
3. The Cherokee Nation has not dispatched assassins to kill you. They don't give a crap about the non-profit religious organization (cult) that you call a Tribe.
4. Being proficient in the game "Rocksmith" does not mean you are a musician or can really play the guitar.
5. Your carpentry skills are mediocre.
6. Wearing a shirt that reads "My Indian Name is Chief Poundherhard" isn't funny, and if you were a true Native you would have never purchased it.
7. You don't descend from a race of beings that came to our planet from Nibiru. Your "people" didn't make Stonehenge.
8. I know how proud you are of yourself that you got every question right on your CDL test, but having to hear about it every day, two years after the fact, is completely unnecessary.
9. I had difficulty reconciling the fact that after the May 8th storm you complained bitterly about not having electricity, yet you constantly claim that you are meant to live on the land as a true Native.
10. Your oral skills are mediocre.
11. It isn't your "Native Spirit" that prevents you from being happy in the white man's world, it's your laziness and selfishness. All of the rest of us stay at jobs we don't like because we have bills to pay and we are true to our obligations. It's called being a grown-up.
12. The Spirits of your ancestors did NOT send me to you.(unless they have an odd sense of humor because I am a Christian) I'm certain that you say this to all the girls.
13. You don't have X-ray vision or the ability to see into people's flesh.

Sincerely, The Former Mrs. Abbott
this is great

Saddle Brook, NJ

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#2
Nov 21, 2012
 
so funny. BTW, I've never heard of him.
dying giraffe

Cape Girardeau, MO

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#5
Nov 25, 2012
 

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pornstar, aren't you one of the people that I heard has many stds?
The Former Mrs Abbott

Leesburg, IN

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#7
Jan 4, 2013
 
Sure I'll do porn! My grandpa always said do what you like and like what you do!
wiz

Arnold, MO

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#8
Jan 7, 2013
 

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This is friggin hilarious. What a messed up guy in his own little world, because his true existence is so pathetic. Nibiru... lol. I bet he was disappointed the world didn't end on 12/21/12, but knows the real date. He just doesn't wanna say it.
Joker

United States

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#9
Jan 7, 2013
 
The guy sounds like a real nut!!!!!
The Former Mrs Abbott

Leesburg, IN

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#10
Jan 10, 2013
 
Oh yeah he's been looking forward to 12/21/12 for years. Claims his "tribe" did a ceremony and the "spirits" said the world would end. Bet he's coming up with all kinds of excuses for that now. "Oh they meant it's the end of one world and the beginning of a new one."

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