Too many lives living this nightmare

Too many lives living this nightmare

Posted in the Marble Hill Forum

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Mom

Little Rock, AR

#1 Nov 4, 2012
Dear Parents and Families of Addicts,
I am writing to inform you of how my son's drug addiction almost destroyed our family. About five years ago our son, who was about 15-16 years old, started changing. Along with the regular teenage rebellion it was much more than that. He had lost respect for himself and others. Could care less about anything; grades, family, law. He was belligerent, angry, all of the signs and then some. I am not naive about drugs. I grew up with a drug addict and saw the pain and hurt that it caused and swore that I would never have to go through that again. We helped him in any way that we could to try to get him back on track but it just got worse and soon he started using much stronger drugs.
Our son became a heroin addict about 3 years ago. I never dreamed that he would even try it because he knew of my brother and how much it hurt me to lose him and all of the horrible stories of growing up with a drug addict. I also thought my son would never try heroin because he lost his cousin to heroin. Right after that he started using heroin. Every day it got worse. He was very moody, angry, and mean, had no accountability and could care less who he hurt or what he did.
Our son was a monster.
It broke our hearts to see what was once a beautiful, intelligent caring young man turn into a demon. He lied, stole, had no regard for life. His body was looking ragged. At one poin t I looked at him and saw the grim reaper. He was pale, skinny, dark circles under his eyes, in fact when I would look into his eyes, they were hollow. The drug had stolen my son and his spirit. Living with him was hell.
I still had 2 other children at home. His older sister and a younger sister. I was working double time to try to save him and protect my daughters. The oldest was scared for him but also was getting very resentful that he was such a mess. At a certain point she disowned him and started to hate him because he was destroying our family. She started to resent us because we continued to forgive and do whatever to save him. I felt guilty for my other children as everything I had I was putting into our son to save him. Our youngest daughter was scared to death and really couldn't understand why her brother was so mean and hateful and why he wouldn't stop doing the drugs that were destroying all of our lives. She would cry and ask me if he was going to die. After a time I finally said to her that it was very possible that he would if he didn't stop the drugs.
Our son's drug addiction became all of our drug addiction and we were not the user.
We went to all extremes to stop him. All of us tried. Everyone said he had to hit bottom. Where is that? Death? One of the hardest things we tried was to turn or backs and tell him that unless he did something to stop he was no longer accepted in our fa mily and we wanted no part of him or his ways. We could not handle any more. We were on the verge of losing everything we had. Our home, jobs, what was left of our family.
This was the hardest thing for a parent to do.
We put him on the streets.
As parents we had to make a decision, whether to save the rest of our family and life or continue to save just one that was a losing battle. His drug addiction was devastating. It strained our marriage, finances, relationships with our other children and family members, and our own self respect. I didn't hear from him in six weeks. I am a pretty strong person, but I will say that I was real close to a nervous breakdown by this time. One day I had a real uneasy feeling and decided I couldn't take any more of not knowing if my son was ok so when my husband came home from work I told him that something was not right and we had to check on our son. We disagreed for a while as he thought I was giving in but I felt really uneasy. We went to where my son was staying and when he answered the door, he looked like death warmed over. He was very defensive and mean as to why we were there.
Mom

Little Rock, AR

#2 Nov 4, 2012
I told him that I was uneasy and needed to see that he was ok. We left and my feelings were correct. The very next day I found out that he had overdosed and was rushed to the hospital and when we showed up he had just gotten home. It was at that point that I said, ok round202 and we are going to beat this. We moved him back home. Again it didn't take long for the drug addiction to take control over all of our lives. We are living in a nightmare, but by now our son had finally said that he was tired of this and wanted to stop. He put himself into a 30 day rehab.
We didn't believe that he was sincere because of all of the attempts that he made to try to clean himself up. The drug kept winning. He would relapse days after he would go through a rehab program or seek help and every time he would relapse it got worse. He would use more, and the drug demon was taking total control of our son. He was stealing, lying, you name it. Oh lord what had we done to deserve this... It was so scary that I would constantly fear that I would walk in and find him dead, or that one of my daughters would find him. He did spend some time in jail and I was hoping that that would bring him around. NO the drug was still the champ. He tried several times to detox himself. There were times we had to rush him to the hospital because he was so sick from detoxing that we thought he was going to die. We thought certainly that all that he was going through he would never touch that stuff again. NO the drug was still the champ. He was a prisoner and he would never see a normal life again; that is if the drug didn't take his life. I know that he wanted to stop but just couldn't at this point.
We heard about Sunshine Summit Lodge from a friend. Her son was also a heroin addict and was going through Sunshine Summit Lodge. He was doing awesome, our son begged us to help him to get him into the program, however we were so devastated by the past 1 1/2 years of his drug addiction, that we really didn't have an idea of how we could do this. I contacted Justin with Sunshine Summit Lodge and talked with him. Not only did we have financial problems but now there were also Law issues and our son was not able to leave the state. We were in between a rock and a hard spot. At this point if our son did not get help, we were going to lose him to either prison or death and the way things were going it was probably going to be death. I can't tell you how much Justin helped us. Justin worked with me all the way. He gave me his cell phone and said I could call him anytime I needed. And I did. Our son was heavy into the drug and things hadn't changed. I would call Justin and he would calm me and help me through what ever situation our son was in. Justin was my savior, he kept me together while we were working on getting our son into the program. He jumped through hoops both legally and personally to help me, my son, and my family. He told me I could call him 24/7 and I did. He walked me through some dark moments.
Finally the day came that we were able to bring our son to Sunshine Summit Lodge. Justin told me that I would feel a ton of bricks lifted off my chest once we get him there. It was emotional bringing our son, but it was a huge relief because I knew if he stood any kind of chance of survival at this time it would be here. This was somewhat that last rodeo. I knew that our son's life was coming down to the fact of prison or death, either of which I knew he did not want either. Our son was ecstatic to finally get to Sunshine Summit Lodge. He went through the program. When I would talk to him I could hear the life coming back into him. I could hear my son coming back. He spoke clearly, sounded healthy, talked intelligently, but most of all, he had a heart again, spoke of family and love, accountability, respect, remorse, forgiveness, and wanting to live and enjoy life..... OMG!!
Mom

Little Rock, AR

#3 Nov 4, 2012
I had to do a double take and asked him a couple of times to tell me that it was really him that I was talking to because I hadn't seen or heard my son for years.

One of the things that touched my heart was our son said to me, "I know that you gave me life once, but the greatest gift you could have given me was my life back again by letting me come to Sunshine Summit Lodge. Thank you."

Well, that took my legs right out from underneath me. My son wanted to live again and wants to live it clean and healthy. I want to say to you, Sunshine Summit Lodge - Thank you - for giving back to us our son, our family, our strength to recover from the devastation of a drug addiction.

Frances P.
Mom

Little Rock, AR

#4 Nov 4, 2012
I told him that I was uneasy and needed to see that he was ok. We left and my feelings were correct. The very next day I found out that he had overdosed and was rushed to the hospital and when we showed up he had just gotten home. It was at that point that I said, ok round202 and we are going to beat this. We moved him back home. Again it didn't take long for the drug addiction to take control over all of our lives. We are living in a nightmare, but by now our son had finally said that he was tired of this and wanted to stop. He put himself into a 30 day rehab.

We didn't believe that he was sincere because of all of the attempts that he made to try to clean himself up. The drug kept winning. He would relapse days after he would go through a rehab program or seek help and every time he would relapse it got worse. He would use more, and the drug demon was taking total control of our son. He was stealing, lying, you name it. Oh lord what had we done to deserve this... It was so scary that I would constantly fear that I would walk in and find him dead, or that one of my daughters would find him. He did spend some time in jail and I was hoping that that would bring him around. NO the drug was still the champ. He tried several times to detox himself. There were times we had to rush him to the hospital because he was so sick from detoxing that we thought he was going to die. We thought certainly that all that he was going through he would never touch that stuff again. NO the drug was still the champ. He was a prisoner and he would never see a normal life again; that is if the drug didn't take his life. I know that he wanted to stop but just couldn't at this point.

We heard about Sunshine Summit Lodge from a friend. Her son was also a heroin addict and was going through Sunshine Summit Lodge. He was doing awesome, our son begged us to help him to get him into the program, however we were so devastated by the past 1 1/2 years of his drug addiction, that we really didn't have an idea of how we could do this. I contacted Justin with Sunshine Summit Lodge and talked with him. Not only did we have financial problems but now there were also Law issues and our son was not able to leave the state. We were in between a rock and a hard spot. At this point if our son did not get help, we were going to lose him to either prison or death and the way things were going it was probably going to be death. I can't tell you how much Justin helped us. Justin worked with me all the way. He gave me his cell phone and said I could call him anytime I needed. And I did. Our son was heavy into the drug and things hadn't changed. I would call Justin and he would calm me and help me through what ever situation our son was in. Justin was my savior, he kept me together while we were working on getting our son into the program. He jumped through hoops both legally and personally to help me, my son, and my family. He told me I could call him 24/7 and I did. He walked me through some dark moments.

Finally the day came that we were able to bring our son to Sunshine Summit Lodge. Justin told me that I would feel a ton of bricks lifted off my chest once we get him there. It was emotional bringing our son, but it was a huge relief because I knew if he stood any kind of chance of survival at this time it would be here. This was somewhat that last rodeo. I knew that our son's life was coming down to the fact of prison or death, either of which I knew he did not want either. Our son was ecstatic to finally get to Sunshine Summit Lodge. He went through the program. When I would talk to him I could hear the life coming back into him. I could hear my son coming back. He spoke clearly, sounded healthy, talked intelligently, but most of all, he had a heart again, spoke of family and love, accountability, respect, remorse, forgiveness, and wanting to live and enjoy life..... OMG!!!
Mom

Little Rock, AR

#5 Nov 4, 2012
This letter posted out of order, post 3 should be second.We don't have anyplace or anyone to turn to here, and drugs are tearing peoples lives and families completly apart. does anyone have any suggestions?
Observer

Euless, TX

#7 Nov 4, 2012
Mom wrote:
This letter posted out of order, post 3 should be second.We don't have anyplace or anyone to turn to here, and drugs are tearing peoples lives and families completly apart. does anyone have any suggestions?
I think it is awesome that u r wanting something to b done. Shouting out to help those who can not help themselves. Yes they have a choice. But it is a disease. I think an AA and Alanon program here in our county would help. If they want help someone needs to be able to b there for them. Not have to drive an hour to get to a meeting. I am to affected by alcohol and drugs. Through family members. I have been working a program for 6 yrs. and u r right. The addicts r addicted to the drugs and alcohol and we r addicted to the addict. I have inquired about opening a meeting and will look into it further and get the guidance I need as well as praying about it. Prayer is powerful and I know u must b prayed up. Praise God thanku for ur courage. That's what it is all about. Courage. Strength and hope. One day at a time.
drugs with drugs

United States

#8 Nov 5, 2012
Doctor dre wrote:
<quoted text>Well there are plenty of Pharmaceutical drugs to help with addiction as well as a good old Fashion ass beating too
Can't fix drug with drugs I went thought the same thing but I was a meth addict shooting meth 17 years of drugs til the verge of wanting to take my own life I thought that was the only way but I found Jesus he delivered me. Jesus is the only way!!
drugs with drugs

United States

#10 Nov 5, 2012
scopus boy wrote:
<quoted text>Then it was ass wuppen for you
Jesus no one eles
Mom

Little Rock, AR

#11 Nov 5, 2012
Thank you everyone for your advice. I hope we can get a program started here. It would help so many people, We have a huge drug problem here that just keeps growing. Church? YES, I too believe Jesus in the one and only Savior. Maybe a program that would bring in both professional help with Jesus in charge?
drugs with drugs

United States

#12 Nov 5, 2012
Mom wrote:
Thank you everyone for your advice. I hope we can get a program started here. It would help so many people, We have a huge drug problem here that just keeps growing. Church? YES, I too believe Jesus in the one and only Savior. Maybe a program that would bring in both professional help with Jesus in charge?
Just to say I've been to rehabs they never worked Jesus is the only way to stop and to stay stopped!
drugs with drugs

United States

#13 Nov 5, 2012
Mom wrote:
Thank you everyone for your advice. I hope we can get a program started here. It would help so many people, We have a huge drug problem here that just keeps growing. Church? YES, I too believe Jesus in the one and only Savior. Maybe a program that would bring in both professional help with Jesus in charge?
Where are u from there is a program called recovery through Christ I've been going to it for 3 years I really like it there is real good people there that has been saved from there addiction including me
drugs with drugs

United States

#14 Nov 5, 2012
Mom wrote:
Thank you everyone for your advice. I hope we can get a program started here. It would help so many people, We have a huge drug problem here that just keeps growing. Church? YES, I too believe Jesus in the one and only Savior. Maybe a program that would bring in both professional help with Jesus in charge?
It's in marble hill
drugs with drugs

United States

#15 Nov 5, 2012
I will pray for him
Broken Hearted Mom

United States

#16 Nov 5, 2012
I have a child that has fell prey to drugs too. It is a living nightmare. I felt as if I was reading about my family when I read what you wrote. I have exhausted all efforts with my child. Rehab was no help at all because my child only did it to please the PO. They won't change untill they're ready. I have learned that drugs do not discriminate. While my child was in rehab I met people from all walks of life. I finally decided that I had done all I could do so I had to step back and let God take control. I asked God to do whatever it takes. I will give my child all the love they will ever need but nothing more. I absolutely believe that it is between my child and God now and I will accept whatever he chooses to do to get thru to my child. Recovery thru Christ is an awesome program. It's a good place to start..
drugs with drugs

United States

#17 Nov 6, 2012
Broken Hearted Mom wrote:
I have a child that has fell prey to drugs too. It is a living nightmare. I felt as if I was reading about my family when I read what you wrote. I have exhausted all efforts with my child. Rehab was no help at all because my child only did it to please the PO. They won't change untill they're ready. I have learned that drugs do not discriminate. While my child was in rehab I met people from all walks of life. I finally decided that I had done all I could do so I had to step back and let God take control. I asked God to do whatever it takes. I will give my child all the love they will ever need but nothing more. I absolutely believe that it is between my child and God now and I will accept whatever he chooses to do to get thru to my child. Recovery thru Christ is an awesome program. It's a good place to start..
I'll pray for him
drugs with drugs

United States

#18 Nov 6, 2012
drugs with drugs wrote:
<quoted text>I'll pray for him
Look at it this way The Lord my be propearering him to be able to help others if ya know what I mean

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#19 Nov 6, 2012
1st mom thanks for sharing your story. When will eyes open to this threat to our kids?
Broken Hearted Mom

United States

#20 Nov 6, 2012
I don't know what God's plan is for her, but I trust in him. I have seen several addicts change throughout my life so I know there's always hope. Thank you for your prayers.
drugs with drugs

United States

#21 Nov 6, 2012
Broken Hearted Mom wrote:
I don't know what God's plan is for her, but I trust in him. I have seen several addicts change throughout my life so I know there's always hope. Thank you for your prayers.
I think god allows it so we will be propeared to help other alike and to bring others to Christ
drugs with drugs

United States

#22 Nov 6, 2012
Guest1990 wrote:
1st mom thanks for sharing your story. When will eyes open to this threat to our kids?
This threat and temptation will always be there we just got to look to Christ he will help us through it!!

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