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Concerned Mother

Charleston, WV

#1 Nov 30, 2011
Hello, my name is ,All Drugs,Pills,Meth,Herion, I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that's just the start. I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold, and if u need me, remember I'm easily found. I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe ne......xt door. My power is aw...esome; try me...you'll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I'll own your soul. When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms. You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad. When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised, I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends. I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I'll be with you always, right by your side. You'll give up everything; your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you'll be alone. I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live. If you try me, be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I'll drive you insane. I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind. I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed, the voices you'll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You'll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell. </3
YES

United States

#2 Nov 30, 2011
I love this poem. I think it says exactly what drug addiction is like.. I was addicted to drugs for many years and now i am proud to say I am clean. Like the poem says though it takes everything from you until you realize drugs is not worth your life. I get so upset when people jump and criticize drug addicts and say we all should be killed and stuff like that. I know some drug addict do wrong but some of us actually change our life around! I just feel people should not be so quick to jump to accusations and say hurtful things when they have no idea what it is like to be addicted to something!

“Troll Stomper”

Since: Mar 10

Location hidden

#3 Nov 30, 2011
Drug addiction sucks. I should know, I'm addicted to vivactil. What never heard of it? That might be because it's a drug used by my doctors to keep me from having seizure like attacks from my cataplexy. I never take more than I'm prescribed, if anything I've been known to forget a dose here and there. But like other addicts this drug has become a permanent part of my life. I could live without it. Yet to do so would destroy my ability to lead a normal life. Not from withdraw, but from the condition that causes my seizure like attacks. But even though you may say that doesn't sound like most addicts,(in truth it may not) I'm still stuck as a life time enrollee of this drugs program. My point in all this being that addicts come in many different packages and both become and stay addicted for many different reasons. So try not to be so quick to judge someone till you know their stories. Few people of the many addicts out their simply chose to become how they are. Some people like me will never have the chance to get rid of their addiction. But others still can, and should if they can find the inner strength and support to do so.
Concerned Mother

Charleston, WV

#4 Nov 30, 2011
My son was killed back in May due to his drug habit. He couldn't stop taking the drugs. He was popping pills, using meth, heroin, cocaine and just anything he could get his hands on. He always had the excuse I hurt too bad, I do it because this or I do it bacause of that. He stole from his own family, friend, or just anyone. It didn't matter just as long as he got the money for his next fix. He was stealing copper and was electrocuted on Blair Mtn. He not only hurt himself when he did drugs he hurt everyone around him. We tried so so many times to get him to see he needed help and he wouldn't listen. The last time he went to jail he sent me a letter telling me how much he hated me, how I was the worst mother ever because I wouldn't get him out of jail and that was because I felt like he was safer there than out here getting into things and getting into more trouble instead we ended up burying him. I still have trouble dealing with his death but I have to take care of his daughter. He was 26 and the funeral director said he looked like he was in his 90's and it was due to the drugs him and his wife were taking. Drug Addicts don't know what their doing, they just let the drugs take them over and then they are no longer our kids or family member. They are someone that needs help to get their lives back on track. I loved my son and if I can keep talking about drugs to others out there that need help by telling my sons story maybe I can make a change in someone else's life.
Heartbreaking

United States

#5 Nov 30, 2011
I too call myself a pill popper because of the medicines I have to take. None of which are narcotics. When I sit and think about how the addictions to these terrible drugs are and the things people do to get them it breaks my heart. I have always had a soft heart when it came to alcoholics and drug addicts. I just wish there was a way to get the drugs off the streets and show people there are other things in life to bring them joy. I don't understand why people start taking drugs to begin with because we all know each and everyone of us has seen what it does to other people. Bad judgment or medical issues it's all terrible to see people go through being pill sick or having the shakes from not having a drink.
I have family and friends on drugs and may be alcoholics but I always let them know they need help and I will be there by their sides if they ever want to take the 1st step. Most people say the 1st step is to admit they have a problem. I personally don"t feel that's true. They know they have a problem. The 1st step is to reach out to an extended hand
Lived It

Hansford, WV

#6 Nov 30, 2011
Love these story's. Concerned Mother; I admire you to talk about it to everyone you come in contact with. I lived with this for about 3 years with my husband. You can point fingers and it's easy to say what you would do..but until you lived it, you have not clue!! You can't change anyone..and you as a non user can only take so much. I prayed at times that God would take him, cause I couldn't live this life anymore, but yet I didn't wanna leave him either cause I loved him, and worried what would happen 2 him! He hit rock bottom and I told him I was done...Signed him into rehab...It was super hard on everyone around us...He then continued with out patient treatment..It's a long hard process. You have to make a total life change including your "friends" and this day and time it's so easy and very tempting to give in...We've had the last 4 years CLEAN!! But a day doesn't go by that I don't think about what all we both went through...At times I get angry with him and I hate having that feeling, but I feel like I was also punished. We lost almost everything we both had worked for. Yeah, and some people would say, "you should have left his ass"...well, I loved him and worried about him, and he was not like that before we got married. I thank God that he finally hit bottom and agreed to get help. It's sad, but bottom for some is 6 foot under. It's also hard to get treatment. I work around things like this daily and it's sad, but yet makes me angry..sometimes I just wanna grab these people and shake them!! It is possible to change...If you truly want too!! I lived it and seen it!!!
1 post removed
Soccrmom

Charleston, WV

#8 Nov 30, 2011
That and vivactil will get you no where son!
Night Watcher

Charleston, WV

#9 Dec 10, 2011
wow! i love this site! no, not beig a smartass.. really! cause I AM AN ADDICT! DAM! THATS THE FIRST TIME IVE EVER SAID THAT OUTLOUD! EVEN ADMITTED IT TO MYSELF, LET ALONE ANYONE ELSE! AND EVEN THOUGH ITS MY FAULT, I NEVER STARTED OUT " TO GET HIGH"! I WAS IN A CAR ACCIDENT LIKE 20 YRS AGO! 1991.. A VERY BAD ACCIDENT! TWO ADULTS AND ONE INFANT WERE TAKEN! I WAS LEFT WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF INJURIES. FROMM RODS IN BOTH OF MY LEGS TO A HIP PLACED BACK TOGETHER WITH NASA TYPE METAL... A BROKEN TAIL BONE.. I COULD GO ON, BUT THE POINT IS THAT IVE BEEN TAKING RX SINCE THEN! YEAH, AT FIRST IT WAS BECAUSE I ONLY NEEDED THEM. THEN, I NEEDED MORE CAUSE MY SYSTEM WAS AMMUNE TO THEM, THEY NO LONGER HELPED. NOW, 20 YRS LATER.. I CANY STAND TO THINK ABOUT STARTING THE NEXT DAY WITHOUT WAKING UP TO THEM. I GOT ON OXYs A FEW YEARS BACK. WOW! THAT SCARES ME TO DEATH TO LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE AND THE CHANCES I TOOK, THE THINGS I DID AND THE PEOPLE I HURT. WHEN I AM OFFERED ANYTHING OTHER THAN HYDROCODONE,,, I AM HONEST ENOUGH TO TELL THE DRs OR WHO EVER NO! NO I CANT.. THAT WOULD BE LIKE GIVING LIQOUR TO AN ALCOHOLIC!! I CAN NOT PUT MY SELF OR ANY ONE I LOVE THRU THAT AGAIN! BUT,,, AGAIN, HERE I AM,, ADDICTED, YET I HURT! I HAVE WENT WITHOUT IT SO MANY TIMES! PUSHED RIGHT THRU IT! THE WITHDRAWS.. OMG! THATS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING! WHAT DO I DO? I DONT WANT TO BE A 40 YR OLD DRUG ADDICT! I REALLY DO WANT TO QUIT! REALLY! WHEN A PERSON TRIES TO TALK TO A DR... DOESNT HELP! ITS EITHR BE AN ADDICT BUT A PAIN FREE ONE, OR GO THRU HELL TRYING TO GET UP EACH DAY, BE SICK, HURT, BE MEAN TO PEOPLE YOU LOVE THE MOST.. I MEAN, IS THERE ANYTHING THA CAN HELP WITH PAIN, BUT IS NOT A NARCOTIC??? I EXCERISE, TO HELP WITH ARTHERITIS.. USE HEAT PADS, TANNING BEDS,,, PLEASE.. IF YOU KNOW WHAST I CANOR SHOULD DO,, DONT BE MEAN ABOUT IT, OKAY?! IM REALLY SEEKING HELP AND ADVISE ,, NOT A PUT DOWN! THANK YOU TO ANYONE THAT WILL EVEN READ THIS, THANK YOU A LOT FOR A REPLY! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS!

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#10 Dec 11, 2011
The first step is to admit that you can't do it alone. You just can't. You have to realize you can't get that monkey off your back by yourself. Someone or something has to help you. And if you are around ANY ONE who is abusing drugs, I promise you, they will get you high faster than you can get them straight. So You got to get away from everyone who does this crap. One thing you may not realize is that your body will NEVER heal as long as you are on painkillers. It takes a long time for your body to readjust to healing itself, so you have to be patient, and know that you can't do it alone. Good luck. I hope you can let go of it.
let go

Hillsboro, WV

#11 Dec 11, 2011
Sorry about the double post. It wouldn't post under my registered name at first.
Lived It

Charleston, WV

#12 Dec 12, 2011
It does take control of you and changes you so much. But it is possible to get off that crap. You are not yourself when your on it anyway, you've got fake energy. I would help you anyway I could...Best of luck and lots of prayers...
Concerned Mother

Charleston, WV

#13 Dec 13, 2011
It sounds like you've taken the first step by admitting you have a problem. That's something my son never done. You can go to prestera and tell them you are a drug addict and you want to get help. They have facilities set up that can help you. People are right though you can not get off the drugs and still remain friends with people that are still on the drugs. A therapist told my son and daughter in law the same thing. I don't know if your from Boone County or Logan county but if you are you may have known my son. His name was Steve Lupson and his wife's name was Felicia Lupson. They were so bad on drugs that they went to Va to get drugs and someone held a gun to their baby's head and that still didn't stop them. My son would steal from anyone, didn't matter if they were family or not. He lived for his next high and ended up paying with his life. He was 26 yrs old and the funeral director told us he looked like he was in his 90's. His teeth were rotted out, he had sores all over his body, he would scratch and scratch and scratch at them. I always told him to look his body on the outside and think if his outside looked like that what did he think his insides looked like. If you have family think about what your doing to them, think about what you could do to make your life better. Only you can decide to get yourself clean but don't be scared to ask for help. Your important to your family and you can be a healthy person again. I have to live every day wandering if there was something more I could have done to help my son but in the end it was up to him. His daughter misses him everyday and I try to make things better for her. I try to hide my pain the best I can but when I'm alone I feel like I'm dying inside. Don't be another casualty as my son was. Make an effort and turn yourself in and go to rehab. Call Prestera or even Highland . They have good programs out there you just have to decide if you want to continue being a drug addict or do you want to make a difference. I never knew how bad drugs were until my son died and I've talked to others that are dealing with the same kind of problems.
Night Watcher

Charleston, WV

#14 Dec 13, 2011
you mentioned highland... listen to this one! i actually BEGGED I MEAN TOTAL BEGGING highland to help me! They said they had no EMPTY BEDS, AND SAID THE ONLY WAY THAT I COULD BE TAKEN AS AN IMBOUND EVEN OVER NIGHT PATIENT IS IF I WAS SUICIDLE! BOONE MEMORIL TOLD ME THE SAME THING, A NURSE THERE TOLD ME THAT IF I CAME IN AN AMBULACE THEY COULD KEEP ME OVER NIGHT AND TRY TO GET ME HELP. BUT SHE SAID SHE HAS SEEN THESE CASES BEFORE. AND IF THAT WAS THE CASE THAT I COULD NOT CHECK MYSELF IN AND BACK OUT! THE STATE WOULD BE OVER ME! THEN, WHEN I WAS RELEASED, I WOULD LOOSE MY KIDS! THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING REAL WITH ME! I MEAN... USUALLY I READ ABOUT " DRUGS AND THE PEOPLE WHO USE THEM,,, THE REMARKS ARE SO HARSH AND RUDE! WHY WOULD ANYONE SSAY THAT THEY WOULD RATHER SEE A DRUG ADDICT DEAD THAN ON THE STREETS! I DONT USE NEEDLES! NOTHING STRONGER THAN HYDROCODONE! I WONT EVEN TAKE XANAXS!! IM SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SON! ALL OF YOU GUYS LOSSES! REALLY! I AM BLESSED THAT I HAVE LIVED THRU THE TIMES WHEN I FELT LIKE I WAS DYING! I HATE LIVING THIS WAY! I TRY TO HIDE MY PILL PROBLEM FROM EVERYONE! I DONT THINK THAT IT WORKS! CAUSE, LIKE YOU SAID.. IT REALLY DOES CHANGE YOU! AND YES,,, NOT SAYING THAT THE PEOPLE I " GO TO" ARE WASTE.. NO ONE IS! EVERYBODY IS SOMEBODY! JESUS AND THEIR MOMMY'S WILL ALWAYS LOVE THEM! BUT I KNOW THAT THEY DONT CARE ABOUT ME! JUST MY MONEY!!! TO BE HONEST,, WHEN I WAS SOO STRUNG OUT... THEY WERE JUST PUSHING THEM ON ME.$$$ ALL THEY CARED ABOUT! LUCKLY I HAVE TRIED TO STAY AWAY FROM ALMOST ALL OF THEM! BUT... JUST LIKE YOUR POEM SAID! THE WITH DRAWS AND THE PAIN... MAN! ITS SO TOUGH! NIGHT SWEATS,, BAD DREAMS! BUT, I NEED TO QUIT! I REAALY WANT TO JUST AS MUCH AS I NEED TO! BUT,, I CAN SAY THIS FOR MYSELF! IT SOUNDS PITTY FUL! AND I AM ASHAMED OF MY SELF THAT I AM ACTUALLY PROUD ABOUT THIS! GOD ONLY KNOWS THAT I NEVER E V E R THOUGHT I WOULD/COULD GET THIS WAY.. BUT! I DID! I AM! SO WHY LIE?! RIGHT???!! ANY WAY... SINE I POSTED THIS TO YA'LL... IM VERY SERIOUS ABOUT QUITTING! ANYWAY.. INSTEAD OF LAYING INTO THEM LIKE I NORMALLY WOULD... I HAVE WOKE UP AND TOOK ONE!( INSTEASD OF SNORTING THEM) thats f*&&* stupid aint it) anyway... all thru the day, when i start wanting one,,, i have took 1/2 of one! at night time i take a whole one! my nose is on fire... and the thought of snortin one to help the pain stop is just right there! but,,, instead... i get a q tip and load it full of Neosporane and shove it up there!! i know its all my fault! i know it is.. no sense crying over spilled milk, right?>! i mean, to most of ya'll ya problly thinking. why be proud of that,, you should be ashamed! i know this, and i am! but, i feel like there is really somebody out there who is rutting for me,, ya know?! like i am not a lost cause! i have a mommy and a daddy,, a brother, sister and kids too! what i am trying to say is THAnk you! thank you all soooo much just for listening/reading this!! and not judging me! trust me,, iv e done that to mysewlf.. along with everyone else! but., when somebody makes you feel like you have a chance, or that your not alone.. it kinda gives you more of a reason to try harder! like i dont want to let all of ya'll down! i know im not just doing this for my kids, more for myself.. but, like i said, the support REALLY MAKES A DIFFERANCE! LIKE PEOPLE REALLY DO UNDERSTAND! EVEN CARE A LITTLE! SO, THANK YOU ALL! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS!
good

Oak Hill, WV

#15 Dec 13, 2011
-woodfairie- wrote:
The first step is to admit that you can't do it alone. You just can't. You have to realize you can't get that monkey off your back by yourself. Someone or something has to help you. And if you are around ANY ONE who is abusing drugs, I promise you, they will get you high faster than you can get them straight. So You got to get away from everyone who does this crap. One thing you may not realize is that your body will NEVER heal as long as you are on painkillers. It takes a long time for your body to readjust to healing itself, so you have to be patient, and know that you can't do it alone. Good luck. I hope you can let go of it.
I really like this post,i have a brother who is an addict also ,i hope he reads these threads
Christ Himself

Charleston, WV

#16 Dec 13, 2011
&#931;&#945;&#964; &#945;&#957;&#940; &#962;,
I like drugs. I like snorting things up my nostrils and then waiting, and watching the clock until that euphoria hits. Then, shew, my worries just melt. I almost poop my pants. To the poster above me - you need to just kill yourself. I hope that every reason that you have to live is gone. There's nothing that should keep you grounded here. Can't you see that? For real - your kids don't want you none of your siblings have pity on you. They mock you and hand you lies to your face. Not me - my friend. My face adapts and misconstrues, my laughter changes, but my message is the same. Kill yourself. Do yourself the favor that you deserve. Take that step, I will hold your hand. My face will invite you as you take the step. Watch how it changes and transforms, as you step through. I hate you. But I am offering you the only solution to your problem. You have no reason, none. &#931;&#945;&#964; &#945;&#957;&#940; &#962;,
CandyCane

Charleston, WV

#17 Dec 13, 2011
You sound really desperate to get your old life back and that is a start. As I am sure you already know, addiction is classified as a disease and relapsing is a part of recovery. Every time you've tried and then went back to your drug, you have not failed but you've gained a little more insight and knowledge into the next time you try. Many people use the "disease" thing as a crutch and they don't want to stop so they throw that word out there. You should be proud of yourself for the many changes you've made. Of course you are going to have critics who make themselves look ignorant by stating that this is the only disease that "willpower" can cure, do not listen to those people, listen to the ones supporting you. Also just as harmful as a critic is an enabler. The people who pat you on the back and say its alright that you've failed again, those are the types who are not putting your best interest at heart. An example would be one of your suppliers or someone you use with, they are glad that you failed and youre back. Someone who loves you will want to know everything there is to know about addiction and getting sober. You will see the sadness come across their face after they've learned your back at it but they will push you to try again (without demeaning you). You can do this, it is not hopeless like you must imagine. A normal persons mind can play tricks on them so imagine a mind that's been affected by so many chemicals. It is always going to trick you into believing you need it and why bother because you'll just fail again. An addict is only able to think of that particular day, they cannot look five years into the future when addiction was a thing of the passed. Withdrawals are horrible but you can do this and you and your kids will have a bright future! Good luck and may God bless you and see you through this.

Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#18 Dec 14, 2011
Personally, I think the phrase "relapsing is part of recovery" is also a crutch, and, more often than not, is the excuse some use to start using again. I realize that many do relapse. But that is not part of recovery. That is part of the cycle, imho. If you relapse, remind yourself it is because you are going around the wrong people again. And again. You can get clean. But you can't do it alone.
Instead of calling it a disease, call it blunt force trauma to the head. That's when you have to relearn everything. Relearn what it was like as a child, work and taking care of business and family thru the week. Then weekends, relearn how to have fun with family and freinds. Camping and such in the summer. Cards and board games during the winter, or outdoor winter activities, if you like. But all centered around family and freinds. Just like when you were a kid. You have to relearn how to live in a family environment. If your family is involved in drugs, find a family to adopt. There are many who would be willing to help, I believe.
Nobody said it would be easy. But if you are determined, you can do it. I hope you can let go and let it go.
Night Watcher

Charleston, WV

#19 Dec 14, 2011
Christ Himself wrote:
&#931;&#945;&#964; &#945;&#957;&#940; &#962;,
I like drugs. I like snorting things up my nostrils and then waiting, and watching the clock until that euphoria hits. Then, shew, my worries just melt. I almost poop my pants. To the poster above me - you need to just kill yourself. I hope that every reason that you have to live is gone. There's nothing that should keep you grounded here. Can't you see that? For real - your kids don't want you none of your siblings have pity on you. They mock you and hand you lies to your face. Not me - my friend. My face adapts and misconstrues, my laughter changes, but my message is the same. Kill yourself. Do yourself the favor that you deserve. Take that step, I will hold your hand. My face will invite you as you take the step. Watch how it changes and transforms, as you step through. I hate you. But I am offering you the only solution to your problem. You have no reason, none. &#931;&#945;&#964; &#945;&#957;&#940; &#962;,
MAN...THAT HURTS!
CandyCane

Charleston, WV

#20 Dec 14, 2011
Actually, when looking at statistics, they discovered that less than 10% of addicts quit for good the very first time they try, you do the math. I didn't say that was a pretty thing, but then again, most parts of the journey to getting clean aren't. What that statement really means is that each time they try, they've learned something new, like what worked and what didn't. For example, say an addict is just realizing that he or she has a problem so they try to quit but it only lasts for a week and then they are back on the drug. A few months later, they hit rock bottom again so they decide it's time to try again only this time they remember what they had done for that week they did stay clean so they can make sure to keep doing that and then they remember the reason they went back, which may have been because they ran into one of their old drug buddies and thought it was safe to go hang out for a bit. Each time they've tried and failed, they've gained a little more insight into how to stay clean. I know there are addicts who use whatever they can as an excuse but saying relapse is a part of recovery isn't intended to harm them but rather, encourage them to try again because sometimes they remember how badly they failed and think "what's the point"? But the point is that you cannot dwell on the times you've failed in the past but use the knowledge you gained from the times you've quit.
CandyCane

Charleston, WV

#21 Dec 14, 2011
Night watcher, seriously, you have several comments here of us encouraging you, do not focus on the dork-wad up there trying to get attention. I don't even think of what he said as mean as much as I think of it as so pathetic that he's trying to get attention. If you want help, ignore ignorant people, they have too many issues of their own to give out any good advice!

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