my wife hates my kids from my previous marage

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needing help

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#1
Jun 14, 2011
 
Ok I need some advice on how to resolve this problem and make things better
stewie

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#2
Jun 14, 2011
 
Your kids are not the problem, its your wife . She's insecure , is this her first marriage? Does she have kids? If you both want the marriage to survive seek counseling. I wish I could help. Talk, you n your wife need to talk, but most important listen to each others concern in the relationship. Be calm n patient. Family counseling

Sorry I wasn't much help. Good luck.
romo

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#3
Jun 14, 2011
 
needing help, in the first place she knew u came with a package Im sorry but I think u know what u have to do she's out .
kids r 1st

Los Angeles, CA

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#4
Jun 14, 2011
 
She knew u had kids, you didn't hide them. She should've new what she was getting into . Is your ex in your kids lives or out? If she loves you she should also learn to accept them, your a package deal they are a part of you. She needs to stop feeling insecure and start finding ways to be a good friend to your kids since they already have thier Mother.(do they?).
yeah

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#5
Jun 15, 2011
 
Blended families take alot of work. It will never be easy this is from personal experience. She most likely doesn't hate them, she probably just don't know how to handle them. Like was said before alot of communication and alot of patience and understanding.
YEAYEa

Lamesa, TX

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#6
Jun 15, 2011
 
When you say hate.. what does that mean what does she do to make you think this.. Tell us then we can really help. Is it that they treat her good or bad and she retaliates or what is it
needing help

Malakoff, TX

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#7
Jun 15, 2011
 
She knew I had kids and at first she was ok but as time past by things changed she constantly complains about there aptitude or the way there dressed or the way they act. Every time it comes around for us to them she acts up by fighting with me over little things and the boys take it . We've been married for four years and have three children at home one is from her previous marrage. I think I know what o have to do but I'm afraid to loose my other two kids also my other three live in san angelo and I only see them every other weekend and if my wife leaves shell end up in Dallas with her patents and then it'll be even harder to see all of my kids
needing help

Malakoff, TX

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#8
Jun 15, 2011
 

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I've tried talking to her but when I do she gets mad and says I'm taking there side and I don't love her and that I'm looking for a way out to get back with my ex I have no relationship with my ex other than getting information about the kids like school health and how they are doing other than that that's it
YEAyEa

Lamesa, TX

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#9
Jun 15, 2011
 

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She has to love you< and every part about you. There is something else going on. Is there a reason for her to be jealous? Are you doing something we dont know about. Are the children respectfull? Do you talk to the other childrens mother on a regular basis? I feel jealousy.. If you are a good guy you can get visitation rights. No matter what it takes find a way to see them. You cant stay un happy and your children are the ones suffering. You can take her to court and force her to keep the children a certain distance.
YEAyEa

Lamesa, TX

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#10
Jun 15, 2011
 

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Your children were there first! You need to make sure she feels love too. Involve her in the stuff with the children.. Does she talk to the ex-wife. If not she is insecure. She should also be the one finding out how the children are.
needing help

Malakoff, TX

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#11
Jun 15, 2011
 

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I am a good guy at least I think so I don't drink or go out with friends or do drugs I work long hours and my off time is with her and the kids we try to do things together as a family I do talk to my ex but more with her husband cause my ex always gives my trouble my wife dosnt talk to my ex cause she don't like her . I just want my marriage to work I don't want to have to go threw another divorce again especially loose my two babies
Oh hayyyyle no

Lubbock, TX

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#12
Jun 16, 2011
 

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Is this really something that you need help with ?? I mean seriously can you not see that she's basically telling you to pick your other children or her and the kids you have with her. You say you don't want to leave because your afraid to loose your other kids well unless you do nothing to fight to see them then your not going to loose them. Sounds to me like your current wife needs to grow up and quit acting like a child. Sounds to me like she's not jealous of the ex wife she's jealous of the kids because you show more attention to them when they do come down. In shorter terms she's selfish and seeing how you took in and accepted her child flaws and all because I can almost guarantee you that child is not perfect as seeing how the mother is, she should be doing what she can to make it work too. Working on a marriage can't just come from one side and seems like with her it's her way or no way. As for if you leave she'll go back to Dallas well if it means less mess and fighting since it's not healthy for your children in the home, I'd be saying I guess you'd better learn to manage your time and pick up kids in San Angelo and head to Dallas it can be done it's just requires work. Just because you divorce the mother doesn't mean you divorce the kids. Good luck and I hope you open your eyes and make the right choice.
hmmmmm

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#13
Jun 16, 2011
 
Situation sounds familiar
needing help

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#14
Jun 16, 2011
 
Thank you all for the advice
srepmom

Antioch, CA

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#15
Jun 17, 2011
 

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Hmm that's a hard one. Im a stepmom amd i love my stepdaughter yea she has attitude but so do my other kids. It has been hard with the whole baby mamma drama but i knew what i was getting into when i got w my husband andyour wife shouldnt be like that.Just remember ur kids can see she doesn't like them and it probably makes them feel like Shit. So always take all ur kids side equally. If she's talking crap tell her I don't see my kids that much so yeah when I don't I don't want to be on there ass but don't let them get away with everything cz the kids that live with u all the time will see that to and might start to resent them to. But its hard but she knew that u had kids before so wtf is her problem now. Or was she always like this. Some women are just mean ass stepmoms and the stepmoms out there that are trying to be a good stepmom th bad one give th good ones a bad reputation. You need to staighten her ass out and if it means takeing a break for a while maybe she needs to see your not putting up w her Shit. Stand up for ur kids. Oh and if they are giving attitude its probably cz they know she doesn't like them kids show respect if they are given it especially from a step parent unless they are teenagers then they are just plain rude w attitudes all the time lol. Goodluck cz ur situation is hard but just remember stand up for all ur kids cz they will remember this forever. My stepdad didn't like me and I hated him and my mom chose him over me and it hurt and I still really haven't forgiven her.
Quit Multiplying

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#16
Jun 19, 2011
 

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You need to quit having babies with different women or you'll end up not being able to live in peace. You have no one to blame but yourself. Surely, you had to know your second wife was not that nice. She has it made with a child from a previous marriage there in the house.
Don't ignore your first children but make sure they know how to behave. Not so much so that 2nd. woman is happy but for the kids' own good.
For goodness sakes, NO MORE KIDS! It doesn't prove anything except that there problems ahead.
unknown

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#17
Aug 10, 2011
 
I can speak from eperience I came from a family combided marriage my siblings hated my dad they were always disrespecting him, never listened to him, and he did everything for them so I guess it also depends on how the kids treat ur wife!!!
wow really

Spring, TX

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#18
Aug 10, 2011
 
V
Quit Multiplying wrote:
You need to quit having babies with different women or you'll end up not being able to live in peace. You have no one to blame but yourself. Surely, you had to know your second wife was not that nice. She has it made with a child from a previous marriage there in the house.
Don't ignore your first children but make sure they know how to behave. Not so much so that 2nd. woman is happy but for the kids' own good.
For goodness sakes, NO MORE KIDS! It doesn't prove anything except that there problems ahead.
he alreadyy had his kids u putting him down isnt gona solve anythingg they are here already u cnt make em dissapear dude sh*t happens its life he said he needs advice on hw to go about his wife not liking his kids tht r already here he didnt ask for ur negitivity!!!!! Im not being rude but gah help him out if ur gona comment!!!! Or dont comment
Lubbock Man

Lubbock, TX

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#19
Aug 12, 2011
 
"Quit Multiplying" How can you tell someone that having babies is the problem. How is he to know that his first marriage wasn't going to work out, no one can tell the future he is just living his life. All he is asking for his help with his 2nd wife because he thinks she doesn't like its kids from his first marriage. When it comes right down to it the problem is not with the kids but his 2nd wife she needs to get over whatever her deal is and respect his kids, he cannot do anything to help her change her mind it is all up to her she needs to be the bigger person and help take care of his kids, now I'm not saying that's her job or anything like that with a marriage and if their is kids involved from past relationships or marriage you have to know what you're getting into. I'm planning to get married in Dec and my future wife has a kid from the past and I have a kid from my first marriage but she loves my kid as much as I love hers. The only thing you can do right now is talk to your wife and try to get the bottom of what her real problem is because no matter what she says there is a problem, its not with you or your kids its with her. Best of Luck.
What

Lamesa, TX

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#20
Aug 12, 2011
 
Any relationship is hard but when you get with someone that has kids you either accept them or you don't. It sounds like she does not accept them and probably never will this was a choice she made from the get and unfortunatley you are going to have to choose. If you does not see your children from a previous marriage with love and compelte acceptance then the only thing you are doing is choosing her. Yeah life sucks but babies never have the blame but yet again she should have been woman enough to accept them since she is not your only option is to say goodbye. People will not change cuz u ask them to they only change when they want to. Resentment is a nasty feeling do you want your kids wondering why you stayed and chose her the ugliest feeling in the world is not to protect your kids they always come first.

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