Memorial held for gay Mormon who comm...

Memorial held for gay Mormon who committed suicide in Los Altos

There are 215 comments on the Santa Cruz Sentinel story from Feb 26, 2010, titled Memorial held for gay Mormon who committed suicide in Los Altos. In it, Santa Cruz Sentinel reports that:

Ten years ago, Henry Stuart Matis walked up to the steps of a Mormon church in Los Altos with a note reading "Do not resuscitate" pinned to his shirt, and shot himself.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Santa Cruz Sentinel.

Rev_Kenneth

Tyler, TX

#182 Mar 13, 2010
NoMo wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree completely w/ you and am guilty of it as well. The compassion only exists for conformers unfortunately, Kenneth. That poor young man ended his life because his religion couldn't accept him for what he was..no embracing..no love.
Despicable and hateful.
You have one thing wrong. It is not what he was but WHO he was.
Rev_Kenneth

Tyler, TX

#183 Mar 13, 2010
Haw Haw wrote:
<quoted text>
There's nobody who grieves more than me for this lost soul who was led to believe from his faith of his earliest days that he was an unredeemed, a wretch, an utter piece of crap and worse, to the point where he thought the only way "out" was to destroy his life.
I will grieve endlessly for this young man...
But when we look at the world today there are COUNTLESS OTHER young men in this same exact place - they are not stupid, they may be LDS, they've learned all they can learn, they know who they are, they've also been able to watch how their mother and father have reacted to people like them; they are under no illusions what their faith and belief system has to say about them... And yet they know who they are better than anyone else...
So what do they do??? It's my hope that that someday soon they'll come to the realization that yes indeed, they are a sinner JUST LIKE EVERY ONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET!! BUT - they have a God WHO KNOWS THEM BETTER THAN AND ALSO LOVES THEM BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE (living or dead) on this planet and who knows WHO THEY ARE INSIDE AT THEIR INNER CORE AND TO THE UTTER DEPTHS OF THEIR SOUL....
This God knows that they were not garbage; that they deserve to live; that their desires don't automatically discount them from anything that is within His Divine Plan....
The KEY IS TO TURN IT ALL OVER TO JESUS. I cannot EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH. Forget yourself and TURN IT ALL OVER TO JESUS - YOUR LOVING SAVIOR. He knows who you are at your core more than anyone else could ever know. LEAVE IT ALL UP TO HIM. Just surrender it all to Him and allow Him to be the center of your life.
Just quietly do that - just between you and Him - and see where things go. Let Him dictate where it all goes from there.
If you've already made the decision to take your own life - at least give Him 48 hours - 2 days - to speak to you in some way before you go through with such a rash, permanent, and eternal decision to end your life. That's all I ask. Give Jesus a chance in your life - before you decide once and for all to end it.
If you've already made the decision to take your own life - at least give Him 48 hours - 2 days - to speak to you in some way before you go through with such a rash, permanent, and eternal decision to end your life. That's all I ask. Give Jesus a chance in your life - before you decide once and for all to end it.[/

first off I would never end it unless i am turning into a veggie. Not because i am depressed or someone hurt my feelings. Secondly If i wnated to give someone a chance it would be Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny as they are more compachionet than Bejus and his followers.
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#184 Mar 13, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
Very astute question. It would make sense, right? I was a little young, but I had an opinion then. My father was a very outspoken, small-town bigot. He was more racist than anyone I have ever personally known.
But rather than being LIKE him, I remember being very young and telling myself "I will NEVER be like that" because I was ashamed of him in that one very telling way. I must not have been too much older than 6 or 7. Old enough to go to school, but early.
Now about telling the truth. I am one of these weirdos on these threads (ask NoMo) that will admit when I'm wrong, I will admit when our side has faults, and even though to you I seem to be intractable, it is not always the truth.
I know for a fact that the gay community has been denied some rights over the years. I know that they have been despised, their civil rights have been violated, and some of the things they've had to put up with because of their orientation has been wrong.
Alright, yes, I said that I was tired of the "Pink" agenda. I am tired of my kids being treated as fodder in public relations wars. Along with other promiscuity and other things, I try to help them rise above the fray. Sometimes successful, sometimes not. I just want to try to establish a strong inner self that can withstand the buffetings of the world so they can control their own destiny, not allowing Madison Avenue, Wall Street, San Fransisco, Chicago, or Miami sway them. I want strong independent kids. And for the most part, I do.
The fact that someone is gay makes very little difference to me, EXCEPT...if he/she is asking my cultural, political, or religious PERMISSION (which includes paying for consequences of silly and stupid behavior) I draw the line. I think one of the catalysts was when AIDS was really big and I saw a gay "march" somewhere picketing a gay bathhouse being shut down because the spread of AIDS. Someone came on a tv or something and said to the effect of "it's my life and you can't tell me how to live it." I think that was my limit. Perhaps I lumped a lot of the gay community into that one experience in my mind.
SO...I do not care if someone is gay. The same as if I don't care if they are cheating on his wife. I don't really want to hear about it. Both activities are dangerous. I would be a champion to stop BOTH activities. But as long as I don't hear about it, I can act as if I don't know.
To repeat a prior post: IF there is ANY way gays are treated differently in any legal matter...hospital visits, property rights, renting (with a very few exceptions) insurance, and almost any other factor, it is wrong. Change it. Period.
But I cannot marry my frog, dog, or the wife of my best friend. I cannot marry my car. There is only one limitation. I am a man, therefore I MUST marry a woman. A woman MUST marry a man.
I think I've posted enough this evening...
We DO have an "agenda". Our "agenda" is "EQUALITY IN ALL RESPECTS" as GUARANTEED us by the U.S. Constitution and eloquenly expressed under the U.S. Declaration Of Independence.

We DEMAND Equal Rights !

We expect nothing more. We will settle for nothing less.

If you disagree, please explain how granting Equal Rights to me and other gay people, will impact your life in any way ? Did granting black people Equal Rights impact you in any way ?

The pastor of my Christian church is male, married to a male, and they are raising a child. My Christian church allows gay marriage in the church. How does my church allowing that impact you ?

And NO, my denomination, The United Church Of Christ, does not recognize the Cult Of Mormon as a Christian church. Nor does any other Christian church, be it Protestant, Orthodox, Roman Catholic, or other do so either.

So I certainly don't want a weird non_Christian cult trying to impose their non-Christian beliefs on me or anyone else in this secular republic.
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#185 Mar 13, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
Funny, I have it listed as a Christian Religion..."listing" is not definitive, it's who's ax you're grinding...
We DO have an "agenda". Our "agenda" is "EQUALITY IN ALL RESPECTS" as GUARANTEED us by the U.S. Constitution and eloquenly expressed under the U.S. Declaration Of Independence.

We DEMAND Equal Rights !

We expect nothing more. We will settle for nothing less.

If you disagree, please explain how granting Equal Rights to me and other gay people, will impact your life in any way ? Did granting black people Equal Rights impact you in any way ?

The pastor of my Christian church is male, married to a male, and they are raising a child. My Christian church allows gay marriage in the church. How does my church allowing that impact you ?

And NO, my denomination, The United Church Of Christ, does not recognize the Cult Of Mormon as a Christian church. Nor does any other Christian church, be it Protestant, Orthodox, Roman Catholic, or other do so either.

So I certainly don't want a weird non_Christian cult trying to impose their non-Christian beliefs on me or anyone else in this secular republic.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#186 Mar 13, 2010
Rev_Kenneth wrote:
<quoted text>
first off I would never end it unless i am turning into a veggie. Not because i am depressed or someone hurt my feelings. Secondly If i wnated to give someone a chance it would be Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny as they are more compachionet than Bejus and his followers.
Speak for yourself, "Reverend," but the comment you were responding to wasn't even addressed to you. Besides being severely spelling challenged you must also have a lot of inner anger to respond in that way to something that wasn't even meant for you. It's sad to see your anger laid out here in response to this message. And I won't add to it further other than to say I hope it gets better for you someday.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#187 Mar 13, 2010
Frank Stanton wrote:
<quoted text>
We DO have an "agenda". Our "agenda" is "EQUALITY IN ALL RESPECTS" as GUARANTEED us by the U.S. Constitution and eloquenly expressed under the U.S. Declaration Of Independence.
We DEMAND Equal Rights !
We expect nothing more. We will settle for nothing less.
If you disagree, please explain how granting Equal Rights to me and other gay people, will impact your life in any way ? Did granting black people Equal Rights impact you in any way ?
The pastor of my Christian church is male, married to a male, and they are raising a child. My Christian church allows gay marriage in the church. How does my church allowing that impact you ?
And NO, my denomination, The United Church Of Christ, does not recognize the Cult Of Mormon as a Christian church. Nor does any other Christian church, be it Protestant, Orthodox, Roman Catholic, or other do so either.
So I certainly don't want a weird non_Christian cult trying to impose their non-Christian beliefs on me or anyone else in this secular republic.
The answer, when you get right down to it, is that it doesn't.

Except that it makes him feel uncomfortable. He more than likely thinks (if it's in line with his doctrine) that homosexuality is a choice, people with those tendencies can be "cured," and by allowing these people any "legitimacy" in society he thinks it will result in their numbers growing.

But what he fails to ask himself honestly is who in their right minds would ever make such a choice for that? Especially somebody who grows up from the cradle in a condemning religious environment similar to his? He sees homosexuals as "rebellious teenagers." His words betray as much. He doesn't see it as something innate within their nature, and he probably will never see it that way. He can't and won't relate to it beyond what he himself feels in terms of sexual attraction and how his belief system reinforces and attaches legitimacy to those feelings.

It's sad, but that's the way it is for him, and his heart is hardened. Someday he may be persuaded but it won't be you or I to do it. I think it's far more important that his bigotry isn't passed on to others. Not to gain or recruit more homosexuals, as they so often accuse, but to break down the walls of bigotry, so that those who ARE in fact homosexual can feel comfortable being honest with who they are in all ways and maybe even not feel like they have to be "out there" and "in his face" as he accuses.

I've known too many gay men and women who were told and reinforced as children by their parents that they must find someone of the opposite sex and get married. Mormonism is the epitome of religions that reinforce and even glorify heterosexual marriages. If it were really as easy as all that, why are there so many gay and lesbian Mormons? I know that they're coming out of the closet in much greater numbers than before, and that's increasing visibility, but if it's all as tritely simple as a choice, why all of this evidence to the contrary?
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#188 Mar 13, 2010
Haw Haw wrote:
<quoted text>
The answer, when you get right down to it, is that it doesn't.
Except that it makes him feel uncomfortable. He more than likely thinks (if it's in line with his doctrine) that homosexuality is a choice, people with those tendencies can be "cured," and by allowing these people any "legitimacy" in society he thinks it will result in their numbers growing.
But what he fails to ask himself honestly is who in their right minds would ever make such a choice for that? Especially somebody who grows up from the cradle in a condemning religious environment similar to his? He sees homosexuals as "rebellious teenagers." His words betray as much. He doesn't see it as something innate within their nature, and he probably will never see it that way. He can't and won't relate to it beyond what he himself feels in terms of sexual attraction and how his belief system reinforces and attaches legitimacy to those feelings.
It's sad, but that's the way it is for him, and his heart is hardened. Someday he may be persuaded but it won't be you or I to do it. I think it's far more important that his bigotry isn't passed on to others. Not to gain or recruit more homosexuals, as they so often accuse, but to break down the walls of bigotry, so that those who ARE in fact homosexual can feel comfortable being honest with who they are in all ways and maybe even not feel like they have to be "out there" and "in his face" as he accuses.
I've known too many gay men and women who were told and reinforced as children by their parents that they must find someone of the opposite sex and get married. Mormonism is the epitome of religions that reinforce and even glorify heterosexual marriages. If it were really as easy as all that, why are there so many gay and lesbian Mormons? I know that they're coming out of the closet in much greater numbers than before, and that's increasing visibility, but if it's all as tritely simple as a choice, why all of this evidence to the contrary?
Mormonism is a weird, sick, perverted, Non-Christian "lifestyle" that IS chosen by the practitioner. It can only be cured by a person turning to a Christian church, renouncing their since and accepting Christ as their Savior.

As my pastor says: "Mormonism is sick, sick, sick."

PEACE !

:)
Curious

United States

#189 Mar 13, 2010
Frank Stanton wrote:
<quoted text>
Mormonism is a weird, sick, perverted, Non-Christian "lifestyle" that IS chosen by the practitioner. It can only be cured by a person turning to a Christian church, renouncing their since and accepting Christ as their Savior.
As my pastor says: "Mormonism is sick, sick, sick."
PEACE !
:)
To each his own!!!!!have you ever heard the saying opinions are like a*#holes everyones got one and they ALL stink!!!!Cured by christianity that's your opinion not the "only way"!!

Since: Aug 07

Indianapolis, IN

#190 Mar 14, 2010
Frank Stanton wrote:
<quoted text>
We DO have an "agenda". Our "agenda" is "EQUALITY IN ALL RESPECTS" as GUARANTEED us by the U.S. Constitution and eloquenly expressed under the U.S. Declaration Of Independence.
We DEMAND Equal Rights !
We expect nothing more. We will settle for nothing less.
If you disagree, please explain how granting Equal Rights to me and other gay people, will impact your life in any way ? Did granting black people Equal Rights impact you in any way ?
The pastor of my Christian church is male, married to a male, and they are raising a child. My Christian church allows gay marriage in the church. How does my church allowing that impact you ?
And NO, my denomination, The United Church Of Christ, does not recognize the Cult Of Mormon as a Christian church. Nor does any other Christian church, be it Protestant, Orthodox, Roman Catholic, or other do so either.
So I certainly don't want a weird non_Christian cult trying to impose their non-Christian beliefs on me or anyone else in this secular republic.
You have the same rights as I do. You cannot marry a male, neither can I. If I have a desire and feel it is somehow right to be married to my dog, I cannot. I am limited to whom I can marry. This is a female. You are limited as well.

You can have equality, the same as I have. I do not want your equality any more "equal" than mine. Whether my church is Christian or not, I felt the same before, so it doesn't matter. I can respect you, but you somehow have gotten the mistaken idea that just because you want something, it should happen. And sometimes, it doesn't work like that.

Society gets to choose. Prattle all you want about the tyranny of the majority. We get to choose. Demand all you want. You have equal rights.

I understand that there are rights you are being denied in some cases, such as hospitals, inheritance, insurance, and other things. These must be changed immediately. I agree with you in this regard.

BUT marriage is not something we will give up.

Since: Aug 07

Indianapolis, IN

#191 Mar 14, 2010
Frank Stanton wrote:
<quoted text>
As my pastor says: "Mormonism is sick, sick, sick."
:)
And your pastor is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#192 Mar 14, 2010
Frank Stanton wrote:
<quoted text>
Mormonism is a weird, sick, perverted, Non-Christian "lifestyle" that IS chosen by the practitioner. It can only be cured by a person turning to a Christian church, renouncing their since and accepting Christ as their Savior.
As my pastor says: "Mormonism is sick, sick, sick."
PEACE !
:)
More and more of the individual membership, though, are waking up to things.

I like to check out the website Mormon Stories every so often ( www.mormonstories.org ). Last month, a very touching four-part story was posted there about some former members of the Orchestra at Temple Square.

Forget about homosexuality for a minute. For those of you who don't believe what I say about the church, about how LDS security treats its own members who are branded "troublemakers" whether correctly or incorrectly, you should listen to this story so that your eyes can be open to just this one aspect. I wonder how many others are out there like Peter's father. You've heard me, an outsider, say it enough. Listen for a moment to some people who were inside.

http://mormonstories.org/...
http://mormonstories.org/...
http://mormonstories.org/...
http://mormonstories.org/...

Not to mention that the music is TRULY beautiful!! Mary and Peter are wonderful musicians!
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#193 Mar 14, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
And your pastor is wrong, wrong, wrong.
So you say. But at least we have the freedom to practice our religion as we see fit. For now. I know if you had your druthers all would flock to be LDS members through the sheer truths of its doctrine. But to the point of FORCE??

That, my friend, is wrong, wrong, wrong...

Yet this is how the brethren in charge of your church are thinking, behaving, and operating.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#194 Mar 14, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
BUT marriage is not something we will give up.
Nobody is asking you to "give up" YOUR marriage. I know you'll never see it that way, but I'll never stop pointing out your flawed logic as long as you continue to post it.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#195 Mar 14, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
I do not want your equality any more "equal" than mine.
And how is allowing a gay man or a lesbian woman the right to marry the person that he or she loves any more "equal" than your right as a heterosexual to do the exact same thing?

Answer that question, please. Where is the tyranny in that? I know you're personally creeped out by it; you've made those feelings quite clear. But step back from that a bit and argue your prejudice against such "equality" along purely intellectual terms if you can. If you can't simply honestly admit that it creeps you out and that you're prejudiced because of your personal discomfort.

Keep in mind that we are also talking about two consenting adult human beings here, not a man and his frog, a man and his dog, a man and his car, etc. So don't try that tack either. And, by the way, I have no personal problems with your faith practicing literally the doctrine of polygamy as preached by its founder.

Just so you know. So I'm all in line with you practicing the Principle that will get you endless glory in your Celestial Kingdom.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#196 Mar 14, 2010
The remarks about polygamy above also apply with the caveat that the ADULTS be CONSENTING (of legal age, not coerced).

“laugh until your belly hurts”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#197 Mar 14, 2010
Rev_Kenneth wrote:
<quoted text>
No gave up on religion and the lies years ago. If I want to be spirtual I will take a walk in the woods and listen to animals before being spouted at by some money grubbing cultist.
or sitting next to a small woodland river just watching the water flow past... not even wondering where it came from or where it's going.

“laugh until your belly hurts”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#198 Mar 14, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
You keep thinking that. I had a neighbor one time who thought the world was flat, too.
like i said, you're not among the upper echelon who are allowed to read the real history of mormon, right?

read 'erie canal days' or any other history of the finger lakes region of upstate new york.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#199 Mar 14, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
...you somehow have gotten the mistaken idea that just because you want something, it should happen. And sometimes, it doesn't work like that.
If "you" means gay people in general (I won't presume to speak for Frank), I doubt whether very many (if any) actually believe it will just automatically happen. Yes, it should, because gay adult taxpayers are citizens as well, and they should not be denied equal protection (and rights) under the law.

A sizable number have had to endure physical bashing and murder, and all manner of discrimination from the overt to the subtle. So you and your ilk want to put roadblocks in front of them. That's fine; you can feel threatened by your prejudice; it's a natural reaction.

Just don't bemoan the backlash that is the natural and inevitable result. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones at people struggling for their rights.
Haw Haw

Chicago, IL

#200 Mar 14, 2010
And for me, that backlash will most prominently manifest itself in doing everything I can to raise awareness in and help my Christian, Republican, non-Mormon friends conclude that electing a Mormon president is something that is most assuredly NOT in their interests nor in the interests of the United States of America as a whole.

Never mind that Mormonism has many tenets that they would consider heretical. How about the designs that the Mormon leadership has on coercion and control. They already control their own state (Utah). Do we really want them in charge of the White House? Do we really want the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles consulted before action can be taken? This guy would be in charge of appointing heads of the FBI and CIA, too. And don't forget for a moment the awesome military power he would wield.
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#201 Mar 14, 2010
humor me here wrote:
<quoted text>
You have the same rights as I do. You cannot marry a male, neither can I. If I have a desire and feel it is somehow right to be married to my dog, I cannot. I am limited to whom I can marry. This is a female. You are limited as well.
You can have equality, the same as I have. I do not want your equality any more "equal" than mine. Whether my church is Christian or not, I felt the same before, so it doesn't matter. I can respect you, but you somehow have gotten the mistaken idea that just because you want something, it should happen. And sometimes, it doesn't work like that.
Society gets to choose. Prattle all you want about the tyranny of the majority. We get to choose. Demand all you want. You have equal rights.
I understand that there are rights you are being denied in some cases, such as hospitals, inheritance, insurance, and other things. These must be changed immediately. I agree with you in this regard.
BUT marriage is not something we will give up.
Of course I can marry a male !

Where have you been these past few years ???

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