Was Jesus the First Vampire?
ticktock

Evanston, IL

#22 Mar 6, 2012
I wrote a story once, based on the "hellsing" manga and a little on the "Priest" manga, that portrayed Jesus not only as the first vampire, but also gave the backstory behind Lucifer and Jesus. In the bible it states that Lucifer (which means light) was the "highest of the angels." In my story, mankind is sinful and God wants to clean things up for mankind, because satan is becoming too powerful with an army of fallen souls. Therefore, god comes up with a plan in which a heavenly creature (lucifer) is sacrificed for the souls of men, because heavenly, immortal beings are more valuable to satan because he has no access to heaven. In my story, a heavenly creature can live among men temporarily, but then at the moment of death, he again becomes an immortal creature. In the plan, a heavenly being is born as a man and then at the moment of death, when he would normally go back to the divine realm, all the sins of the world, for all time (past and future sins also) are transferred to the heavenly being, thus creating a new type of creature: an immortal heavenly creature who cannot enter the divine realm and is thus trapped on earth in a state of perpetual "moment-of-death". Thus was born the curse of vampire. In my story, Lucifer finds out about god's plan to sacrifice him, and revolts, starting the angelic wars. After the wars are over, and many heavenly creatures have gone over to satan's side, a normal angel is no longer a good enough trade for the sins of mankind. God is forced to create a new creature, the messiah, part of his own essence. God lies to his "son" and tells him he will only feel the weight of the sins of the world for a few days, but then he will return to heaven. So basically, God tricks Jesus into going to earth for the sacrifice. Thus the quote at the moment of Jesus' death, "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" That was when Jesus realized that simply taking on the sins of the world for 3 measly days wasn't going to create universal forgiveness: he was stuck with the ever-growing evil of the world FOREVER. However, since he technically is an angelic creature, he has all the supernatural powers granted to angels and even more (including the power of creation), since he was created out of god's own essence. Thus, in his quest to return to the heavenly realm, he tries to create more vampires from humans and give them some of the evil of the world, the rid himself of evil. I think the whole drinking blood thing is pretty silly, and overblown by medieval superstitions. I left that out of my story. Instead, all vampires are marked by stigmata.
YoungBull

Jersey City, NJ

#23 Apr 6, 2012
bagman wrote:
eternal life through jesus christ. go figure...
Wah, I don't want eternal life. After death there'd be immortality like vampires right? That would suck.
Asteria

Pleasanton, CA

#24 Apr 15, 2012
Bunny wrote:
okay lets put it this way... im sure this post was for entertainment purposes so... to make a valid point.. Jesus does have a lot of the same characteristics that fictional vampires supposedly have: He died and then rose from the dead: He asked us to drink his blood: He could heal people : He was able to get people to do his will... Just like vampires in todays stories are able to do...
I believe there is at least a little truth to every myth. In other words, vampires, werewolves, and the like exist on at least some level. So not to excessively offend some people, but I believe it is entirely possible, even probable that Jesus was the first vampire. As quoted above, he demonstrated many of the qualities associated with vampires.
on the money

Elizabethtown, KY

#25 Apr 15, 2012
the best thing to do is not comment to these people they will finally learn the hard way
Penetrometer

United States

#26 Apr 20, 2012
Jesus was a zombie!
Your life is a lie

Arlington, VA

#27 Aug 22, 2012
You all are stupid
I love the way you lie

Washington, DC

#28 Aug 22, 2012
I love the way you lie!
Your life is a lie wrote:
You all are stupid
justforshiz

Mitchell, Canada

#29 Dec 3, 2012
now what wrote:
<quoted text>
But, JESUS is the son of GOD and was sent to earth to die in exchange for our sins, and is of all things good and pure.
"vampires" drink others blood to survive, "vampires don't die, they are slowly turned into "vampires" due to another "vampires" blood entering their veins. "Vampires" are of evil not good.
Besides JESUS saves, he don't destroy
I don't perticularily believe he was a vampire BUT you said he was sent here to die, and do you remember how he died? That's right he was STAKED to a CROSS! But ya he definantly wasn't a vampire

Since: Nov 12

Location hidden

#30 Dec 4, 2012
preacher wrote:
Jesus did not teach to drink his literal blood. The Bible expressly forbids the drinking of blood. Jesus is God. God cannot lie. This means He cannot contadict Himself in any way. If His Holy Word says not to drink blood then He will not contradict that Word but honor it, for He is the Author of it. When we celebrate the Lord's supper, we are remembering His death burial and resurrection symbolically, in drinking the communion cup and eating bread. It is not literal. He commanded Christians to do this to remember what He has done for them, that is, keeping His death, burial and resurrection fresh in their(our) minds until He returns.
With that being said, if a church or organization disagrees with the Holy Word, then it is wrong, period. God cannot contradict Himself, there is no sort of falsehood or untruth about Him. God has kept His Word, the Bible, and preserved it for all generations thru all time. If the Holy Bible says it, and a church or teacher or preacher says something that disagrees, then they are wrong. God is right and that's the bottom line.
god didn't write the bible, people did and people make mistakes. neither has god preserved the bible, people have and they've made like 10 different versions of it.

by the way, to the original poster of this thread, vampires don't exist. neither does santa claus or greek fire, sorry to burst your bubble.

Since: Nov 12

Location hidden

#31 Dec 4, 2012
Penetrometer wrote:
Jesus was a zombie!
this is the most thought provoking post on this thread. technically if jesus was a human being who actually "died", flatline with brain death, and then came back to life after 3 days, then by definition he was a zombie.

and just for the record i think this whole thread is stupid,
buff

Chicago, IL

#32 Jan 8, 2013
Jesus is vampire as all Christian.
Lol

Hendersonville, TN

#33 Mar 31, 2013
The Truth wrote:
Ok, all u people who watch these dam movies or shows, need to move on with ur life, theres nothin wrong with alittle fantasy but, stupied shit like this is just, theres no words for how far u just fell, so move on, get a life, or a job, or find a love life and mess their life up, not others...
. Hypocrite much? Telling ppl they went to far? Greeks once live and died by their religion which is now myth but u want to put down someone else for questioning your beliefs? They went to far with this question? Just remember to the ppl not of your faith, u are the one believing in some crazy sci-fi. Lol @ close minded hypocrites. Faith = closed minds
Lol

Hendersonville, TN

#34 Mar 31, 2013
ticktock wrote:
I wrote a story once, based on the "hellsing" manga and a little on the "Priest" manga, that portrayed Jesus not only as the first vampire, but also gave the backstory behind Lucifer and Jesus. In the bible it states that Lucifer (which means light) was the "highest of the angels." In my story, mankind is sinful and God wants to clean things up for mankind, because satan is becoming too powerful with an army of fallen souls. Therefore, god comes up with a plan in which a heavenly creature (lucifer) is sacrificed for the souls of men, because heavenly, immortal beings are more valuable to satan because he has no access to heaven. In my story, a heavenly creature can live among men temporarily, but then at the moment of death, he again becomes an immortal creature. In the plan, a heavenly being is born as a man and then at the moment of death, when he would normally go back to the divine realm, all the sins of the world, for all time (past and future sins also) are transferred to the heavenly being, thus creating a new type of creature: an immortal heavenly creature who cannot enter the divine realm and is thus trapped on earth in a state of perpetual "moment-of-death". Thus was born the curse of vampire. In my story, Lucifer finds out about god's plan to sacrifice him, and revolts, starting the angelic wars. After the wars are over, and many heavenly creatures have gone over to satan's side, a normal angel is no longer a good enough trade for the sins of mankind. God is forced to create a new creature, the messiah, part of his own essence. God lies to his "son" and tells him he will only feel the weight of the sins of the world for a few days, but then he will return to heaven. So basically, God tricks Jesus into going to earth for the sacrifice. Thus the quote at the moment of Jesus' death, "Father, why hast thou forsaken me?" That was when Jesus realized that simply taking on the sins of the world for 3 measly days wasn't going to create universal forgiveness: he was stuck with the ever-growing evil of the world FOREVER. However, since he technically is an angelic creature, he has all the supernatural powers granted to angels and even more (including the power of creation), since he was created out of god's own essence. Thus, in his quest to return to the heavenly realm, he tries to create more vampires from humans and give them some of the evil of the world, the rid himself of evil. I think the whole drinking blood thing is pretty silly, and overblown by medieval superstitions. I left that out of my story. Instead, all vampires are marked by stigmata.
. If a being died for all of our sins, past, present, & future, than there would be no sin. But your book sounds like something I'd read. Kudos

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#35 Mar 31, 2013
Electra Pleiades wrote:
<quoted text>this is the most thought provoking post on this thread. technically if jesus was a human being who actually "died", flatline with brain death, and then came back to life after 3 days, then by definition he was a zombie.
and just for the record i think this whole thread is stupid,
i do not believe in zombies, once you are dead there ain't no coming back, but i think i agree with electra. if jesus christ died and came back, then he would've been a zombie not a vampire.

and yes this is a really stupid thread...
I love the way you lie

Washington, DC

#36 Mar 31, 2013
Happy Zombie Vampire Jesus Day!!!
Lucifer

United States

#38 Sep 21, 2013
preacher wrote:
Jesus did not teach to drink his literal blood. The Bible expressly forbids the drinking of blood. Jesus is God. God cannot lie. This means He cannot contadict Himself in any way. If His Holy Word says not to drink blood then He will not contradict that Word but honor it, for He is the Author of it. When we celebrate the Lord's supper, we are remembering His death burial and resurrection symbolically, in drinking the communion cup and eating bread. It is not literal. He commanded Christians to do this to remember what He has done for them, that is, keeping His death, burial and resurrection fresh in their(our) minds until He returns.
With that being said, if a church or organization disagrees with the Holy Word, then it is wrong, period. God cannot contradict Himself, there is no sort of falsehood or untruth about Him. God has kept His Word, the Bible, and preserved it for all generations thru all time. If the Holy Bible says it, and a church or teacher or preacher says something that disagrees, then they are wrong. God is right and that's the bottom line.
And yet my good lad, there are over 101 contradictions in your blessed book of fallacies alone.
Lucifer

United States

#39 Sep 21, 2013
And let me guess, you're going to say "Get behind me, Satan" and go into a religious upheaval with me. Well, my dear friend, Satan is already behind you and he's about to bend you over a barrel for believing a book written by man.
Lucifer

United States

#40 Sep 21, 2013
I digress, however, as there isn't much validity in any book written religion-wise by mankind unless a man is truly pure in all aspects of his being and given this day and age, the level of spiritual progress for humankind is rather low. Therefore, my dears, no human being can fully be trusted especially when most love to take a lot of shit out of context. Listen only to that inner voice. God's voice. He will lead you to the truth behind everything. Just read between the lines. And people wonder why my name is only written once in the Bible.
Lucifer

United States

#41 Sep 21, 2013
Oh, and on the topic in question, Jesus was not the original vampire, though he hinted that they may be real and allows them to exist. In Sumer we called them the akharru. Nothing really to be feared unless you truly cross one. Satan is the cause for it for it is more-so a material immortality as opposed to spiritual which your Yeshua (Jesus) delivers, but even if one is of Satan, the soul is eternal.
Holy spirit

United States

#43 Nov 24, 2014
Your Lucifer suck too much.

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