Veteran who does not think he should ...
First Prev
of 2
Next Last
The Mad Man

Glendale, CA

#21 Aug 1, 2011
I would like to be fair wrote:
Can someone give me some advice....I have not been able to get support for my kids their dad is a disabled Vietnam veteran. He is 100 percent permanent and total do to ptsd. I have tried to get him to pay without going thru the courts. I am able to work and do at one point I was working 3 jobs at once to support these kids. I do not receive welfare I am barely scraping ends with 4 kids. This veteran constantly neglects to pay I have tried to get him into a court room and he can never be located to be served. I don't want alimony I just want child support and I don't even want the full shot which I have been told is upwards of 1500 a month. I would gladly settle for a faithful $800 a month. I have gone to the VA trying to get just what he receives for the kids and have been unable to. Somebody please help me. This month In even went to work with walking pnemonia just to make sure bills got paid.
Hire another lawyer. Child support is for the kids and YOU are entitled to get that support. If your lawyer can't get the job done, hire another one. Where does his mail go to. Check with the post office. There are ways to find out. Ask your lawyer about his bank account. TAKE THIS MAN TO COURT!
Trapped

North Hollywood, CA

#22 Aug 1, 2011
Can't get anything but an apportionment. My son's father is supposed to give me 25% of his income because he doesn't want any custody. We have open visitation but he's too busy bleeding this country so that he can goof off on camping trips and live by the beach to visit his autistic 5 year old. People think, "thank you for serving this country, boo hoo, poor guy." HA! He was in less than 4 years, lied to get 100%, has been collecting for over 7 years, and was NEVER in combat. Never in Iraq or afghanistan and got a diagnosis of schizophrenia, which isn't even military related. Sure, women can work to support their child, but it takes two to make a baby. ALL men should be held responsible for supporting their child/ren no matter what! I can't work because my son has a developmental disability. I can't afford the child care required to meet his special needs. Not to mention he gets therapy in the home every day. I would love to go back to work, but I'm trapped in this miserable situation while my son's dad just wastes his time on video games and lying on the beach. Thanks America.
The Mad Man

Glendale, CA

#23 Aug 1, 2011
Trapped wrote:
Can't get anything but an apportionment. My son's father is supposed to give me 25% of his income because he doesn't want any custody. We have open visitation but he's too busy bleeding this country so that he can goof off on camping trips and live by the beach to visit his autistic 5 year old. People think, "thank you for serving this country, boo hoo, poor guy." HA! He was in less than 4 years, lied to get 100%, has been collecting for over 7 years, and was NEVER in combat. Never in Iraq or afghanistan and got a diagnosis of schizophrenia, which isn't even military related. Sure, women can work to support their child, but it takes two to make a baby. ALL men should be held responsible for supporting their child/ren no matter what! I can't work because my son has a developmental disability. I can't afford the child care required to meet his special needs. Not to mention he gets therapy in the home every day. I would love to go back to work, but I'm trapped in this miserable situation while my son's dad just wastes his time on video games and lying on the beach. Thanks America.
Come on now, hire a new lawyer. Schizophrenia and he is allowed to be around your son? I am sure his diagnosis is severe enough to get full custody so go for it. Don't be afraid. It's not America's fault that your husband has been diagnosed with a questionable disease. Challenge the VA. Catch your husband off his meds just once and you have a case for full custody, I am sure. Any lawyer knows that. Sorry about your son but if he needs the special attention give it to him. Get yourself another lawyer already, your son with special needs, the husband has schizophrenia and you can't find his address to serve him. Something is wrong here.
I would like to be fair

Gloversville, NY

#24 Aug 3, 2011
The Mad Man wrote:
<quoted text>
Hire another lawyer. Child support is for the kids and YOU are entitled to get that support. If your lawyer can't get the job done, hire another one. Where does his mail go to. Check with the post office. There are ways to find out. Ask your lawyer about his bank account. TAKE THIS MAN TO COURT!
I would love to if I could afford a lawyer!
The Mad Man

Glendale, CA

#25 Aug 3, 2011
I would like to be fair wrote:
<quoted text>
I would love to if I could afford a lawyer!
Go to legal aide. Talk to a lawyer and ask if he will take this case on contingency. Just call and ask around but do something.
loyal family to dv

Melrose Park, IL

#26 Jun 6, 2012
The Mad Man wrote:
I agree the VA should be reasonable about this and I am sure they will be. The wife can do without the alimony. Why pay the wife and the kids. The kids are the priority here. Let's see the VA make a decision about the wife alimony.
Our family went thru "hell" for out disabled vet. From the time he read in the war..supporting him during and after. After being home 2 Years he began using drugs and.drinking and.cheating...it affected the "whole" family. I at his request stayed home to take care of.his medications, go to appointments, and fully care for him. He walked out and.abandoned our family, to live with another woman who has same addictions.as him. I will get a bill passed that requires a disabled veteran to pay child.and alimony support at 50% if they abandon their.families. They are disabled but still a parent responsible for.supporting the families they created and whom supported them. My disabled vet denied me to work to.care for.him...lked to our children said.he was going to doctor.appt at the VA then never came home. No rent paid..except got his new girlfriend's $1400 apt. He makes tax.free $3200 VA and $1689 SsDi totaling $4889.00 a month but won't send $250 mo for their food.
A disabled vet is a man or woman who should be held responsible to financially support their family as much as they support their country. If they could be held responsible for desertion in time of war....then they need to be held accountable with financially taking care of.their families. The families "who gave all and the ultimate sacrifice"...
Oprah Jr

United States

#27 Jun 6, 2012
You gals should shop around a reality show, "White Trash Wives," so we can DVR your lame poor-people stories for viewing when we want to show our daughters how not to act.
You can't tell me your "husbands" didn't show any kind of degenerate behavior to tip you off before you unlocked your knees for him–one of you FOUR times!!
Now the state has to deal with your stupid decisions, either with you going on some kind of relief, or your crappy, damaged, no-father-having kids later. Not to mention tying up our court system chasing your "great find" around the country to make sure he pays the child support on the kids he didn't want.
Hey, and nice going by deciding you didn't want alimony from the guy, since that means your bank account will be forever stressed to the point if you lose one of your jobs, you wind up on public assistance. Why should you and your nutty husband pay for your kids when the taxpayers can take the responsibility? Right, idiot?
If you remember nothing else, remember this: Growing up poor twists the soul. You're raising a pod of unhappy children who will become neurotic adults, and will do the same thing mom and dad did. They will have little choice in the matter. You trained them to expect less of others, especially less of themselves, that morality and ethics are relative to how they feel at the moment, essentially, anything goes, and decisions you make early in life affect your destiny, but who cares, the government will bail your dumb ass out.
Congrats on making the world just a little bit unhappier, thanks to you being here.
Angie B

Stockton, CA

#28 Jul 24, 2012
You are crazy out of your mind to think you wouldn't have to pay child support, or alimony.........really? Just cause you'are a veteran?.........whatever! what about the wives who stand by you so called men......veteran or not! That's a job in itself!! Our job is harder than your job will ever be.........I don't care if you're serving our country or not........We take care of the home, children, and everything that comes with that......so do give me the crap we don't deserve alimony.......that is the very least we deserve! So get over it......deal with it......it's the law, or better yet.......kick rocks!
The Mad Man

Glendale, CA

#29 Jul 25, 2012
Angie B wrote:
You are crazy out of your mind to think you wouldn't have to pay child support, or alimony.........really? Just cause you'are a veteran?.........whatever! what about the wives who stand by you so called men......veteran or not! That's a job in itself!! Our job is harder than your job will ever be.........I don't care if you're serving our country or not........We take care of the home, children, and everything that comes with that......so do give me the crap we don't deserve alimony.......that is the very least we deserve! So get over it......deal with it......it's the law, or better yet.......kick rocks!
Better check into the law. I see you point although rather wild in writing it but the children come first. If after 15 to 20 years of not working and supporting your husband, yes alimony can be an issue but you have to prove you were the sole support of your husband. It is not that easy to get alimony any more although it can be done. The courts are in favor of the wife working after so many years of rearing children. There is no reason why the wife can't work after so many years. It is in her best interest to protect her own assets if a divorce is pending. I am aware of what it takes to keep up a household but many wives take on part time jobs just to get out of the house and teach the husband to take on some responsibilities. Learn to train the men to do this. My parents did and I lived in a neighborhood when I grew up where women did not work. It was considered taboo although many women in the neighborhood did it quietly. My mother tried to get a job when her children were 12 and 15 years of age. Today's society can't wait that long and should protect themselves with at least a part time job.
The reality is that you need to protect yourself and the children when it comes to a marriage falling apart. You can see the road ahead when you know this is happening so take the smarter steps to protect yourself and your children.
blo

United States

#30 Sep 10, 2012
I see a lot of crazy comments about ptsd but if you didnt go through it dont talk about it if your not trying to help. Talking like that can or will end your life so stop talking shit in a safe place people. I highly disagree with people faking to get money that shit piss me off and if i catch any ill turn them in after beating them down. To whoever said just give hospital treatment without pay shut the fuck up cause your not in our shoe and dont be a internet thug you punk cause i got combat vet brothers all around and you tell them what you type on here and see if you dont get your tongue rip through your ass. Women yes the men shall pay but its so many of women thats polluted and money hungry it wont be for the child semper fi brothers
disabled vet

Bay City, MI

#31 Dec 3, 2012
I googled a couple of news stories on this guy. He last served in Iraq in 2003 but his two children were conceived long afterwards, they are age 5 and 7 months. The family law judge may be thinking, "If you're healthy enough to f*** then you're healthy enough to pay child support."
The man says he has post traumatic stress disorder which is now the subject of much debate on how to properly diagnose and treat it, and at the same time not allow vets to game the system. The man is also deaf in one ear and has hand tremors. Again, I can see a family law judge using his equitable powers and saying, OK this guy has some physical and maybe mental problems and he's getting $1100 a month in disability benefits, but he still needs to earn some more money and pay child support.
PTSD can be a real mental disorder, but it also can be abused. That's why you see some Vietnam era vets, who are now in their 60s, saying oh yeah I'm having nightmares and flashbacks about 'Nam, give me a mental disability paycheck every month to top off my retirement benefits.
My proposal: For all veterans, young and old, who claim PTSD, give them unlimited inpatient treatment in mental hospitals. But no monthly checks. That is the fair way to provide treatment to people who really need it, but will weed out those who see a chance for an entitlement
If you think they just hand us a check because we say we have ptsd you are very wrong and sad!!!!!! I had to go thru months of testing trying to convince the va that i didn't have it . It is not something to be proud of or to brag about..... I can't even begin to explain how it effects my every day life and how much of a struggle it has been to readjust and I only servedb 6 years with 2 , one year deployments ....... but it is not only deployments that mess with you when you join the military it is not just a job it becomes a way of life and to just have it stop one day it sucks........So unless you have been in our shoes keep your mouth shut and let us real men and women talk...
disabled vet

Bay City, MI

#32 Dec 3, 2012
The Long Knives wrote:
I googled a couple of news stories on this guy. He last served in Iraq in 2003 but his two children were conceived long afterwards, they are age 5 and 7 months. The family law judge may be thinking, "If you're healthy enough to f*** then you're healthy enough to pay child support."
The man says he has post traumatic stress disorder which is now the subject of much debate on how to properly diagnose and treat it, and at the same time not allow vets to game the system. The man is also deaf in one ear and has hand tremors. Again, I can see a family law judge using his equitable powers and saying, OK this guy has some physical and maybe mental problems and he's getting $1100 a month in disability benefits, but he still needs to earn some more money and pay child support.
PTSD can be a real mental disorder, but it also can be abused. That's why you see some Vietnam era vets, who are now in their 60s, saying oh yeah I'm having nightmares and flashbacks about 'Nam, give me a mental disability paycheck every month to top off my retirement benefits.
My proposal: For all veterans, young and old, who claim PTSD, give them unlimited inpatient treatment in mental hospitals. But no monthly checks. That is the fair way to provide treatment to people who really need it, but will weed out those who see a chance for an entitlement check every month.
If you think they just hand us a check because we say we have ptsd you are very wrong and sad!!!!!! I had to go thru months of testing trying to convince the va that i didn't have it . It is not something to be proud of or to brag about..... I can't even begin to explain how it effects my every day life and how much of a struggle it has been to readjust and I only servedb 6 years with 2 , one year deployments ....... but it is not only deployments that mess with you when you join the military it is not just a job it becomes a way of life and to just have it stop one day it sucks........So unless you have been in our shoes keep your mouth shut and let us real men and women talk...
Unions Rock

AOL

#33 Dec 4, 2012
Prop 32 failed. If the Vet is now a public employee he should demand that his operatives in the State Legislature force the pathetic calif tax slaves to pay his child support.
Disabled Vet

Paris, TX

#34 Dec 22, 2013
The Mad Man wrote:
Brodie encourages those who support veterans to pick up their phones and call state and federal legislators in order to send a clear message.
"It's like a slap in the face. I'm not going to stop until this stops," he said.
Masser confirmed this meeting took place, but said it was too early in the process for him to comment.
"I'm going to be looking into it," he said.
The laws that pertain to this legal matter in all states are 38 USC 5301(a) and 42 USC 659. In Title 42, the part of the section that's applicable on the compensation benefits award depends on the definition of remuneration for employment for the compensation. And here is where all disabled vets need a DFAS letter stating their retired military retired pay status to provide the court with that definition. 90% of all disabled vets do not waive a _portion_ of retired military pay.

If the disabled vet goes into a family court hearing without a DFAS letter and citing the two laws metioned above during due process, the disabled vet will get screwed by the state everytime.

99.9% of family attorneys will get it wrong and knowingly err on the side of the state to enforce an illegally inflated child support amount strictly motivated by 42 USC 658(a) Veteran Beware!

With proper due process, the state's inclusion of the compensation as "income" then becomes a moot legal point. The state can't legally touch the compensation if it is defined as 'not remuneration for employment' during a hearing; only inform the custodial parent that apportionment is available for enforcement per the 1998 Health & Human Services Memorandum to all state child enforcement agencies/offices.

Apportionment is the federal preemption checks & balances that US Congress grants all disabled vets for their compensation benefits award being considered for child support in any state family court. Vets only get this due process if they know the laws, regulations and policies regarding Title 38 benefits. They must stand their ground to be granted these rights, however.

I'm not a lawyer but this is my experience and testimony.
The Mad Man

Riverside, CA

#35 Dec 22, 2013
Take away his drivers license. This man may have a disability but he has children that need support and the children is what is at issue here. Why should the children suffer?
oif4vet

Enid, OK

#36 Dec 28, 2013
The Mad Man wrote:
<quoted text>
(Viet Nam Era) I served in the Navy aboard two ships. My first tour I was stationed out of Charleston, South Carolina. We covered the Mediterranean area and I saw some action off the coastline of Russia. My second tour in 1979 was out of San Diego with a WestPac tour. These were considered 'peacetime' missions although both my ships went through continued missile upgrades and armament, and maneuvers. Sadly, both my ship were outdated, decommissioned and used as target practice.
Sit on it pog
bring the pain

United States

#37 Dec 29, 2013
The Long Knives wrote:
Can anyone cite me to the federal law that says vets' disability pay cannot be used for spousal or child support. Seems odd that a state judge would issue orders contrary to federal law.
Family law is based on equity. Perhaps if the state judge was convinced that this guy could still work to a limited extent and earn more money on top of his disability check, the judge could still order the guy to pay support every month.
An example of this often comes up when high-paid men are in the middle of a divorce, then they suddenly quit their high-paid job and take a low-paid job. The judge can find that you are capable of earning $200,000 a year and will order support based on that number, even if you are working as a bartender and only making $24,000 a year.
title 38 in va laws
Truesoldier85

Mountain View, CA

#38 Jan 8, 2016
Thinker wrote:
All men, disabled or not, have to take responsibity for their kids. The solution is that the disabled guy has to pay over a max 25 percent of his disability check.
Your an idiot!!!! If we are mentally unstable and struggle getting jobs if capable, we can't afford to pay that much in support. Women need to stop being lazy and take care of their kids. If you can't then let us have the kids and we will have no problem taking care of them. Stop trying to catch a free check.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Long Beach Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News One of America's Most "Walkable" Communities Is... 18 min Ronald 1
News The 25 Most Dangerous Cities in the U.S. Are Mo... (Nov '10) 26 min Now_What 20,228
News Mayor Robert Garcia details road, infrastructur... 8 hr das boat 2
Vote For Donald Trump May 4 Trump Closet Mod... 6
Hack a car in Michigan, go to prison for life i... May 2 John 1
News Long Beach Judge Throws Out Arrest Of Man Accus... May 1 Holy Silicon Wafer 4
News Man shot in apparent gang-related shooting in A... (Feb '08) May 1 Roland guerrero 36
More from around the web

Personal Finance

Long Beach Mortgages