Gasman

United States

#19096 Aug 1, 2014
The Hodja as Envoy to the Kurds

The Hodja was sent to the Kurds as an envoy. Immediately upon his arrival he was invited to a banquet. He put on his fur coat and went. In the middle of the conversation he suddenly let a fart.
They said to him, "It is scandalous to fart like that."

"What?" he replied. "How was I to know that the Kurds would understand when I farted in Turkish?"
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19098 Aug 1, 2014
Gasman wrote:
<quoted text>
The sneak attack on Pearl Harbor could have been prevented long before initial planning by the Japanese. It has been recently discovered that a bean embargo against Japan would have foiled the plot. The Japanese use to perform mock runs and used farts as "bombs" during training.
My ex was born either right before Pearl Harbor or right after it. 12/23/41........He grew up in Peoria watching the war movies. The soldiers were his hero's. Audie Murphy especially. He did look a lot like him when he was young. He joined the Army when he was 17....... pre Vietnam. He was there in 65 and 71. He is PTSD and 100% disabled these days. I still support the man......I just can't live with him after 34 years. He is seven years older and now married to a retired military nurse. Pearl Harbor affected a lot of lives.
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19099 Aug 1, 2014
Defiant1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, have fun and please don't breed.
WTH is "IT".......?
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19100 Aug 1, 2014
Defiant1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't have any blood relatives in Texas as far as I know. Moved here from New Hampshire in 1999. I'm going to hold off on retirement for another five years. In the meantime I can get
almost everything done in Brenham and pay cash for it along the way. I'm not going to retire owing money to anyone.
Well I guess we are not related. I told my nieces not to marry anybody from SS.......but they both did. Brenham......My old boss lives there. It makes me think of Blue Bell ice cream......my memory is not quite the same these days. Taking the grandkids swimming. There are warnings of flesh eating virus from the ocean.....and cryo something from the swimming pool. An Ebola patient is being sent to a university Hospital......today. Ebola is coming to America. I wish I had forgot all of the microbiology I have learned. The overuse of antibiotics is going to kill us yet. I was going to retire at 70 initially......after the CVA it seemed the right thing to do. RN's are making great money these days. I am blessed to have what I have. I certainly ain't gonna get rich off of the oil and mineral rights I inherited. Lol..... gotta go......I am following the ebola patient coming to America today. Traveling to that city is off of my bucket list.
Steve Dooley

El Paso, TX

#19101 Aug 1, 2014
Janie wrote:
<quoted text>My ex was born either right before Pearl Harbor or right after it. 12/23/41........He grew up in Peoria watching the war movies. The soldiers were his hero's. Audie Murphy especially. He did look a lot like him when he was young. He joined the Army when he was 17....... pre Vietnam. He was there in 65 and 71. He is PTSD and 100% disabled these days. I still support the man......I just can't live with him after 34 years. He is seven years older and now married to a retired military nurse. Pearl Harbor affected a lot of lives.
Pearl Harbor was a real pain the butt to all of us. I remember it like it was yesterday. We came home from church ready to watch the football game on TV but it was preempted because of the bombing. I cried like a baby because I was a big Bears fan and I always looked forward to them mauling their opponents on Sunday. Anyway, it was 12/7 that the attack was launched, so your late husband was born afterward. I'm glad he didn't have to suffer like the rest of us did on that day.
Herb Sewell

El Paso, TX

#19102 Aug 1, 2014
Janie wrote:
<quoted text>Well I guess we are not related. I told my nieces not to marry anybody from SS.......but they both did. Brenham......My old boss lives there. It makes me think of Blue Bell ice cream......my memory is not quite the same these days. Taking the grandkids swimming. There are warnings of flesh eating virus from the ocean.....and cryo something from the swimming pool. An Ebola patient is being sent to a university Hospital......today. Ebola is coming to America. I wish I had forgot all of the microbiology I have learned. The overuse of antibiotics is going to kill us yet. I was going to retire at 70 initially......after the CVA it seemed the right thing to do. RN's are making great money these days. I am blessed to have what I have. I certainly ain't gonna get rich off of the oil and mineral rights I inherited. Lol..... gotta go......I am following the ebola patient coming to America today. Traveling to that city is off of my bucket list.
The thing I don't understand about being a nurse at your age is what you wear. Ever since they invented Candy Stripers, most men have fantasized about a hot, young nurse in a short skirt coming to check on them. In fact, there was a movie about this very topic some years ago. Men were purposefully injuring themselves in order to go to the hospital to be treated by these angels of mercy as many of them didn't wear any underwear. They'd come into the room and bend over the bed, their massive bosom on full display in their low cut blouses. Then they'd either have to change the sheets or the bedpans or take the patient's temperature rectally, and full on debauchery would ensue. They'd be going at it hot and heavy, often 3 or 4 at a time. The hospital was making a mint since men were clamoring to come in, even if they had no insurance. A man who stayed for a week could expect to get it on with several Candy Stripers during his stay. Anyway, I digress - what do they have you wear as a nurse these days?
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19103 Aug 1, 2014
Steve Dooley wrote:
<quoted text>
Pearl Harbor was a real pain the butt to all of us. I remember it like it was yesterday. We came home from church ready to watch the football game on TV but it was preempted because of the bombing. I cried like a baby because I was a big Bears fan and I always looked forward to them mauling their opponents on Sunday. Anyway, it was 12/7 that the attack was launched, so your late husband was born afterward. I'm glad he didn't have to suffer like the rest of us did on that day.
Well he was involved in the IA Drang Valley Conflict of 1965. There is a movie about it. We Were Soldiers.......my husband was in the calvary. There was no such thing as PTSD in those days. I studied it in nursing school. We are still friends and celebrate holidays with our children. My ex is a a Republican naturally. My oldest son also. My daughter and my ARNP son are liberal. I guess I am mixed as I do believe in stand your ground. You must be over 70 years old. Are you from SS?????
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19104 Aug 1, 2014
Herb Sewell wrote:
<quoted text>
The thing I don't understand about being a nurse at your age is what you wear. Ever since they invented Candy Stripers, most men have fantasized about a hot, young nurse in a short skirt coming to check on them. In fact, there was a movie about this very topic some years ago. Men were purposefully injuring themselves in order to go to the hospital to be treated by these angels of mercy as many of them didn't wear any underwear. They'd come into the room and bend over the bed, their massive bosom on full display in their low cut blouses. Then they'd either have to change the sheets or the bedpans or take the patient's temperature rectally, and full on debauchery would ensue. They'd be going at it hot and heavy, often 3 or 4 at a time. The hospital was making a mint since men were clamoring to come in, even if they had no insurance. A man who stayed for a week could expect to get it on with several Candy Stripers during his stay. Anyway, I digress - what do they have you wear as a nurse these days?
Scrubs....sports bras.....sneakers or clogs. We nurses ain't for your pleasure these days. I was a pretty nurse once.....but I am an old bat these days. DRG's control how long you stay in the hospital these days. My daughter is a "road healer" who could kick your ass. Look at my FB page if you are curious Pervert!!!!!! Gotta take the kiddies swimming. Later Perv!!!!!!!!
Steve Dooley

El Paso, TX

#19105 Aug 1, 2014
Janie wrote:
<quoted text>Well he was involved in the IA Drang Valley Conflict of 1965. There is a movie about it. We Were Soldiers.......my husband was in the calvary. There was no such thing as PTSD in those days. I studied it in nursing school. We are still friends and celebrate holidays with our children. My ex is a a Republican naturally. My oldest son also. My daughter and my ARNP son are liberal. I guess I am mixed as I do believe in stand your ground. You must be over 70 years old. Are you from SS?????
I most certainly was not in the SS. Those Nazi bastards were guilty of many atrocities, from using piano wire for strangling Jews to raping innocent women to performing sex change and gender bending operations on people to find out once and for all if a person really could go and screw themselves. I would never have joined them, even if I was born in Germany which I was not. Why would you think I would be part of the SS? I am true blue American, right down to my Captain America tattoo and my red, white and blue jockey shorts.
Herb Sewell

El Paso, TX

#19106 Aug 1, 2014
Janie wrote:
<quoted text> Scrubs....sports bras.....sneakers or clogs. We nurses ain't for your pleasure these days. I was a pretty nurse once.....but I am an old bat these days. DRG's control how long you stay in the hospital these days. My daughter is a "road healer" who could kick your ass. Look at my FB page if you are curious Pervert!!!!!! Gotta take the kiddies swimming. Later Perv!!!!!!!!
I don't know where you get off calling me a pervert, lady. I was just telling you about a documentary I saw which described the comings and goings, so to speak at a hospital. I didn't say anything crude or vulgar and yet you talk about me getting my ass kicked, which I find unseemly. But to be perfectly clear, as I like to engage in discourse that is relevant and pertinent, do you wear the sports bra as a top just like on Seinfeld? Or do you cover that up with some sort of low-cut white jacket?
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19107 Aug 1, 2014
Herb Sewell wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know where you get off calling me a pervert, lady. I was just telling you about a documentary I saw which described the comings and goings, so to speak at a hospital. I didn't say anything crude or vulgar and yet you talk about me getting my ass kicked, which I find unseemly. But to be perfectly clear, as I like to engage in discourse that is relevant and pertinent, do you wear the sports bra as a top just like on Seinfeld? Or do you cover that up with some sort of low-cut white jacket?
. You do know Captain America is black these days.? Marvel has changed him. Marvel is EVOLVING!!!!!!!!
Janie

Tampa, FL

#19108 Aug 1, 2014
Steve Dooley wrote:
<quoted text>
I most certainly was not in the SS. Those Nazi bastards were guilty of many atrocities, from using piano wire for strangling Jews to raping innocent women to performing sex change and gender bending operations on people to find out once and for all if a person really could go and screw themselves. I would never have joined them, even if I was born in Germany which I was not. Why would you think I would be part of the SS? I am true blue American, right down to my Captain America tattoo and my red, white and blue jockey shorts.
. Why do you post on a SS forum? I am a TRUEAmercan also. They do hate Jews there. There was ONLY white protestant children in Boles Home.......in my days......I think the guvment got on them for racism I don't know where orphan black kids went. Here in Florida they are[USF). Investigating the black kids early death. Those orphanages were brutal back in the day. You can google the story......they are investigating the deaths now. My granddaughter is a part of it.
That Fart Guy

Katy, TX

#19109 Aug 1, 2014
Gasman!!! Turkish farts!!!!!!!
milk man

Los Angeles, CA

#19110 Aug 1, 2014
That Fart Guy wrote:
Gasman!!! Turkish farts!!!!!!!
Do you like getting farted in your face fart man??
mail man

Katy, TX

#19111 Aug 1, 2014
I do. Fart on your screen and I should be able to see it.
Velvet Elvis

Abilene, TX

#19112 Aug 1, 2014
Steve Dooley: Janie thinks she is on the Sulphur Springs, Texas forum. She doesn't know this topic goes state wide. She is a kook that has recently invaded the Sulphur Springs, Texas TOPIX. She goes by nina roth and sarah searls, too.

How is Bobbie? I'm am looking for a house is Western Estates and will eventually like to walk in the Falltacular.
Steve Dooley

El Paso, TX

#19113 Aug 1, 2014
Velvet Elvis wrote:
Steve Dooley: Janie thinks she is on the Sulphur Springs, Texas forum. She doesn't know this topic goes state wide. She is a kook that has recently invaded the Sulphur Springs, Texas TOPIX. She goes by nina roth and sarah searls, too.
How is Bobbie? I'm am looking for a house is Western Estates and will eventually like to walk in the Falltacular.
Hey, thanks for the tip, my good man. Bobbie is doing good, but she recently has become concerned that our son Seth might be gay. He's been listening to a lot of Gaga and recently began experimenting with fingernail polish. She hasn't been able to focus on the fashion show too much, but she does have her theme this year and it will be Muslim dress to honor the plight of the Palestinians.
Defiant1

Deer Park, TX

#19114 Aug 1, 2014
Janie wrote:
<quoted text>Well he was involved in the IA Drang Valley Conflict of 1965. There is a movie about it. We Were Soldiers.......my husband was in the calvary. There was no such thing as PTSD in those days. I studied it in nursing school. We are still friends and celebrate holidays with our children. My ex is a a Republican naturally. My oldest son also. My daughter and my ARNP son are liberal. I guess I am mixed as I do believe in stand your ground. You must be over 70 years old. Are you from SS?????
Just a little heads up on this post that you are responding to. Television was commercially produced in 1949. It was not available to the general public in 1941.
Defiant1

Deer Park, TX

#19115 Aug 1, 2014
Steve Dooley wrote:
<quoted text>
I most certainly was not in the SS. Those Nazi bastards were guilty of many atrocities, from using piano wire for strangling Jews to raping innocent women to performing sex change and gender bending operations on people to find out once and for all if a person really could go and screw themselves. I would never have joined them, even if I was born in Germany which I was not. Why would you think I would be part of the SS? I am true blue American, right down to my Captain America tattoo and my red, white and blue jockey shorts.
And you are also stuffed full of more sh!t than a Christmas turkey.
Historian

El Paso, TX

#19116 Aug 1, 2014
Defiant1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Just a little heads up on this post that you are responding to. Television was commercially produced in 1949. It was not available to the general public in 1941.
Here's some more truth for you:

Instructing workers to be on the lookout for a pretty huge package labeled “Fragile,” Vice President Joe Biden visited the White House mailroom Friday to check for the arrival of a grow light he’d had delivered under a fake name, multiple sources reported.“You guys know if any boxes arrived for a Robert Marley?” Biden reportedly asked in a low tone of voice, noting that the parcel would be shipped from a company called Photonics, Inc. in Vancouver, and that maybe his buddy Chip who works nights had already set it aside.“Long story, but I had a little mishap with my rig a few weeks ago and some of the guys on the Plantazoid forums said this thing is the bomb.” At press time, the vice president was seen furtively slipping into the Lincoln Bedroom closet with a load of tinfoil he had taken from the White House kitchen.

On top of that, it's now confirmed that he likes to skinny dip in the nude while he is buck naked. The secret service agents are made to protect him while he is flopping in the breeze, totally butt naked with his dingle hanging out. He really is something, isn't he?

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Lone Star Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Who do you support for State Board of Education... (Oct '10) 2 hr Fossilfarts 677
Who do you support for State Board of Education... (Oct '10) 7 hr Manny 535
Cowboy Jims (Dec '09) Sep '14 brentonsmommy 11
Jerry Richardson Aug '14 CounselorJoe 2
Arts digest: Sign up now for Chalk the Block Aug '14 Gasman 2
Is Hubert Hajek dead? (Apr '09) Aug '14 Your Ghost 6
Texas Restaurant Tells Gay Couple They "Don't S... Jul '14 inquisitor 25
Lone Star Dating
Find my Match

Lone Star Jobs

Lone Star People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

Lone Star News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Lone Star

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]