How many thinks it's ok for a married...

How many thinks it's ok for a married man to give money behind wife's back

Posted in the London Forum

his ex

Harrison, AR

#2 Jan 13, 2011
i take that she is his ex wife or girl friend right? if this is the case NO! if he did not know the woman and she was on hard times, and need a little money with no strings i see no problem with that, any thing else if he is doing it behind your back must be a reason he didn't want you to know.
walker

London, KY

#4 Jan 13, 2011
sondra wrote:
I just wondered if other's felt like I do that a married man has no business sneaking beind his wife's back and giving their money to other women. No they were not starving.Nor is it right that she accepts it?
R they women he knows or someone on the street?
Anon

Greenbrier, AR

#6 Jan 13, 2011
Is this your husband? If not then why do you care so much?
sondra

United States

#7 Jan 16, 2011
his ex wrote:
i take that she is his ex wife or girl friend right? if this is the case NO! if he did not know the woman and she was on hard times, and need a little money with no strings i see no problem with that, any thing else if he is doing it behind your back must be a reason he didn't want you to know.
They wasn't on bad time, like going hungery, place to stay, going with a phone or anything like that; maybe some wants like a lot of us have. The married man that she went to church with, They would chat after churh and he got a crush on her and took the money to her work. If it wasn't a crush why not give it to her at church instead of driving so far. when the wife called him to tell what her husband had done he said she got a nice settlement from him and she was not hurting.
sondra

United States

#8 Jan 16, 2011
Anon wrote:
Is this your husband? If not then why do you care so much?
Yes it is my husband. He and I went to church together, but I stopped because I had two girls that had to get up early and we needed a church close to home. He continued going and chatting with the woman after church. She was not on hard times had more than average I would say. Husband had worked for railroad for years. She worked for a lawyer for years and still does. Why would my husband drive along way to give her the money instead of giving it to her at church. NOt to mention it was several hundred dollars.
sondra

United States

#9 Jan 16, 2011
sissy wrote:
you are so right i would be finding out why.
I did find out why and of course he would give a stupid answer, then I would say why couldn't you give it a church, then other questions. It ended up he just wanted to be really close friends with her. Is it right for a married man want to be really good friends with a divorce woman with no sexual thoughts, don'oot think so since it was hundreds of dollars. Later it was clamed that he was taking it to the mother to help her on paying for her senior trip, which he didn't do that much for his own children. One which did without a lot. I thought he was having such hard times and had a credit card sent to my mother's so that he wouldnl't know I was getting meds for her and expensived medical bills. I thought I would pay them off when she got better and I would go back to work; sadly she passed away and I adopted her two children. While he handed over to a woman!
sorry

London, KY

#10 Jan 17, 2011
sounds to me like you need a wake up call, he's cheating with her duh!
weezy

AOL

#11 Jan 17, 2011
sorry you dont know that for a fact so why put it on here. What if he isnt cheating with the other woman? hhmm?
Just Me

Harrison, AR

#12 Jan 17, 2011
I'm a guy and I have lots of friends that are girls, happily married and have no intentions of cheating on my wife. So since when was it a crime to have the opposite sex as a friend? I'd have to say he probably should have consulted with you first over the money issue considering what he did made him look shady about things..but then again maybe he already knew the answer he would get from you and decided to leave ya outta the loop anyway...who knows. The point is...if someone wants to cheat they'll cheat,ain't nothing you can do to stop it, and to be honest the only people in relationships that fight about friends of the opposite sex are the one's either jealous or insecure.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#13 Jan 18, 2011
Just Me wrote:
I'm a guy and I have lots of friends that are girls, happily married and have no intentions of cheating on my wife. So since when was it a crime to have the opposite sex as a friend? I'd have to say he probably should have consulted with you first over the money issue considering what he did made him look shady about things..but then again maybe he already knew the answer he would get from you and decided to leave ya outta the loop anyway...who knows. The point is...if someone wants to cheat they'll cheat,ain't nothing you can do to stop it, and to be honest the only people in relationships that fight about friends of the opposite sex are the one's either jealous or insecure.
Thank you so much for you answer. But the thing is he told me that he had done something wrong and felt I needed to know. I guess he wanted to get it out so he could be at peace with himself. He gave he money so that he could get a closer relationship; I guess you could say some lust with no intention for sex. But still that is hard to hear after they had already lost a child. If he gave to anyone and we sure have lots of times, but if they are in need and we say hay this person needs something then I don't care at all. I wouldn't have cared for her to have the money if he had given it for the right reason which he said it wasn't. It wasn't a need, it was for a trip.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#14 Jan 18, 2011
weezy wrote:
sorry you dont know that for a fact so why put it on here. What if he isnt cheating with the other woman? hhmm?
Sorry but I do know it for a fact.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#15 Jan 18, 2011
sorry wrote:
sounds to me like you need a wake up call, he's cheating with her duh!
Thank you so much, I had my wake up call. So things are not going lovey dovey now. But thanks for the info; I agree. He is the one suffering now.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#16 Jan 18, 2011
Anon wrote:
Is this your husband? If not then why do you care so much?
Yes, it is my husband.

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#17 Jan 18, 2011
walker wrote:
<quoted text>R they women he knows or someone on the street?
knows
terry

United States

#18 Aug 9, 2012
weezy wrote:
sorry you dont know that for a fact so why put it on here. What if he isnt cheating with the other woman? hhmm?
I think he is a jerk.
terry

United States

#19 Aug 9, 2012
Just Me wrote:
I'm a guy and I have lots of friends that are girls, happily married and have no intentions of cheating on my wife. So since when was it a crime to have the opposite sex as a friend? I'd have to say he probably should have consulted with you first over the money issue considering what he did made him look shady about things..but then again maybe he already knew the answer he would get from you and decided to leave ya outta the loop anyway...who knows. The point is...if someone wants to cheat they'll cheat,ain't nothing you can do to stop it, and to be honest the only people in relationships that fight about friends of the opposite sex are the one's either jealous or insecure.
I agree, but why not divorce his wife first if he is going out handing women money. Really don't make sense. What would you do if you found out your wife was giving out money to men? I know what I would do to my wife, I would leave her in a heart beat. I think the wife in this case or even I is absolutely crazy for staying with a no good cheater.
Exactly

London, KY

#20 Aug 9, 2012
terry wrote:
<quoted text> I agree, but why not divorce his wife first if he is going out handing women money. Really don't make sense. What would you do if you found out your wife was giving out money to men? I know what I would do to my wife, I would leave her in a heart beat. I think the wife in this case or even I is absolutely crazy for staying with a no good cheater.
That's the trillion dollar question all married women who have had their hearts shattered and families ripped apart by husbands who have cheated would love to hear truthfully answered - "Why not divorce me if you're wanting someone else? Why cheat?!". There is NO EXCUSE for a spouse to cheat! If one is soo unhappy in their marriage - just get a divorce! Hardly is there recovery from cheating. Yeah - there couples who are able to work out their issues and stay married, but the trust that should in a marriage doesn't completely recover. Marriage is always a "work in progress" and not "easy". Kind of like a new house - all great at first. Everything is new and fun - then as the house settles and problems occur you are then faced with two choices: 1. Sell the house for someone else to deal with (leave) or 2. Address and fix the problems? The person who cheated just doesnt stand a chance to be trusted by anyone they involve themself with.
Raeshelle

Locust Grove, GA

#21 Apr 21, 2015
walker wrote:
<quoted text>R they women he knows or someone on the street?
It has happened in my marriage recently, and no I don't think it's right. My husband has gone behind my back he says twice but I know it's more than that. This so called woman has gone as far to disrespect me previously as well. What is your opinion, should I leave or stay? He says her daughter was hungry and she had nothing. Lying Asses!! She's to big to be starving.

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