what can I do?? my husband is addicte...

what can I do?? my husband is addicted to porn

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very concerned wife

London, KY

#1 Jan 9, 2009
my husband is addicted to porn and I have asked him many times to quit but he still does it behined my back I have told him I will leave him if he dont quit and I am so tired of it but i really love him and dont want to lose him what should I do, I have talked to him many many times about it but he still gets mad.
fluffy

United States

#2 Jan 9, 2009
Are u a christian wife?
I guess

Englewood, CO

#3 Jan 9, 2009
No Big Deal
hope i help

Somerset, KY

#4 Jan 9, 2009
i dont think your husband likes it either but some men cant get it threw there head how to alot of woman its a turn off . but it is a problem . it can tear a marriage apart . what i would do is sit down and talk to him tell him how you feel and if that dont do any good of course dont forget to pray . but if that dont help tell him your going to tell your children the why you are going to leave him and tell all his brothers and sisters allso lol this may help and mean it to good luck to you it is a serious matter it can destroy a home prayers here
very concerned wife

London, KY

#5 Jan 9, 2009
hope i help wrote:
i dont think your husband likes it either but some men cant get it threw there head how to alot of woman its a turn off . but it is a problem . it can tear a marriage apart . what i would do is sit down and talk to him tell him how you feel and if that dont do any good of course dont forget to pray . but if that dont help tell him your going to tell your children the why you are going to leave him and tell all his brothers and sisters allso lol this may help and mean it to good luck to you it is a serious matter it can destroy a home prayers here
I have already tried that ive told his family and it still didnt work

Since: Jun 08

United States

#6 Jan 9, 2009
Can I point out that its just porn. I mean really your husband could be out there cheating on you instead of feeding his need with just porn. I really don't get women like you that just think porn is the worse thing in the world, he could be doing drugs or beating the crap out of you. You do know that by telling him he can't look at it all you are doing is driving him to look at it more and driving him away from you and to someone else. Have you ever thought about watching porn with him and maybe putting some spice back into your relationship. Men are gonna look at other women, that's all there is to it and once women realize this and put on their big girl panties and deal with it the happier they will be in the long run!

“you will never see it coming”

Since: May 08

lily

#7 Jan 9, 2009
i am not a psychologist but i would say its probably like quiting smoking.you have to want to quit.maybe he wants to act out a fantasy or something.sounds like he isnt being honest with you
very concerned wife

London, KY

#8 Jan 9, 2009
let it happen in your marrige and see how you feel

Since: Jun 08

United States

#9 Jan 9, 2009
I would be fine with it. Honestly porn isn't the worse thing in the world, and i bet most guys would agree with me. You can't control someone and if you try to then you just make them hate you.
rick james

Dahlonega, GA

#10 Jan 9, 2009
tell him to go to this web site its awsome free porn all the time..www.redtube.com
concerned wife

London, KY

#11 Jan 9, 2009
my feelings should be respected more and that shows how much he cares
josh

Dahlonega, GA

#12 Jan 9, 2009
i think he needs his a55 kicked
Brian of Nazareth

Winchester, KY

#13 Jan 9, 2009
How dare you wrote:
Can I point out that its just porn. I mean really your husband could be out there cheating on you instead of feeding his need with just porn. I really don't get women like you that just think porn is the worse thing in the world, he could be doing drugs or beating the crap out of you. You do know that by telling him he can't look at it all you are doing is driving him to look at it more and driving him away from you and to someone else. Have you ever thought about watching porn with him and maybe putting some spice back into your relationship. Men are gonna look at other women, that's all there is to it and once women realize this and put on their big girl panties and deal with it the happier they will be in the long run!
I mean this as a question and I am not being mean, rude, or disrepectful to you but, tell me something, how come women always say, "Men are going to look at other women", you honestly think women don't look at other men or am I just living on pluto?

Since: Jun 08

Manchester, KY

#14 Jan 9, 2009
Brian of Nazareth wrote:
<quoted text>
I mean this as a question and I am not being mean, rude, or disrepectful to you but, tell me something, how come women always say, "Men are going to look at other women", you honestly think women don't look at other men or am I just living on pluto?
You aren't being rude. And if a woman ever tells you she doesn't look at other men then shes lying. Eyes will wander and as long as that's all that's wandering then I don't see anything wrong with it. Life is too short to be so up tight. Not only can I look at a man and say he looks good i can also say that about a woman and not feel threatened by her. I really think why most women have a problem with porn because they feel that they aren't pretty enough or that just because their man is looking means he doesn't love them anymore. The only thing i would worry about is if i walked in and found my man looking at gay porn.. then i might have to wonder about him.
I've always heard that a healthy sex life is a very important part of your overall well being,I don't see why it would matter if its with yourself or someone else.
Brian of Nazareth

Winchester, KY

#15 Jan 9, 2009
How dare you wrote:
<quoted text>
You aren't being rude. And if a woman ever tells you she doesn't look at other men then shes lying. Eyes will wander and as long as that's all that's wandering then I don't see anything wrong with it. Life is too short to be so up tight. Not only can I look at a man and say he looks good i can also say that about a woman and not feel threatened by her. I really think why most women have a problem with porn because they feel that they aren't pretty enough or that just because their man is looking means he doesn't love them anymore. The only thing i would worry about is if i walked in and found my man looking at gay porn.. then i might have to wonder about him.
I've always heard that a healthy sex life is a very important part of your overall well being,I don't see why it would matter if its with yourself or someone else.
Okay, just wanted to clarify that women look too. I think people like to look as good as they can and like others to think they look nice. How many guys you know that would want guys to think their woman is ugly, or women you would want other women to think their man is ugly. I think we feel validated when people think we have a nice looking partner. Seriously, I do think guys are very visual, maybe more than women, and maybe that is why they look at porn more than women by and large. Some people don't like that kind of stuff though and that is okay too, but it would be nice if a couple could agree on things like that, creates tensions as this thread clearly shows.
hope i help

Somerset, KY

#16 Jan 9, 2009
i still dont think it is right its against the bible so yes wife worry about your mans soul and a husband that needs porn dont need his wife . it is proably like trying to quit smokeing but if he loves you why does he half to have porn in his life .you hang in there and i will be praying hard for you and your husband . he should have more respect for you then that . so dont you give into his ways follow jesus ways ok .
hope i help

Somerset, KY

#17 Jan 9, 2009
one last thing if the world was ending would you want to be setting on the couch watching porn when the lord comes
Give it up

London, KY

#18 Jan 9, 2009
Like drug addicts and smokers you have to get off of it by substituting something else for it maybe something is lacking in the bedroom and that is why he turned to it in the first place. It is not always the guys fault. If his bed is cold at night, he will wonder, be thankful he is not going out on the street fox hunting every night.
ByTheWay

London, KY

#19 Jan 9, 2009
Porn? Really, and what do you mean by addicted? Is he looking at it in front of the kids? Leaving it out for people to see? If he's keeping it private, and just viewing it alone, well, who cares? It's not like he can have sex with the women on screen. And c'mon, do you really have to go and tell his family about it? That will NOT get him to stop, it'll just embarass him and make him bitter towards you.

I look at porn, my girlfriend looks at porn, both together and seperate. No big deal. Stop being so uptight. Maybe you aren't pleasing him, try to communicate with what you want from each other sexually. People have forgotten how to talk I think, myself included.
ByTheWay

London, KY

#20 Jan 9, 2009
hope i help wrote:
i still dont think it is right its against the bible so yes wife worry about your mans soul and a husband that needs porn dont need his wife . it is proably like trying to quit smokeing but if he loves you why does he half to have porn in his life .you hang in there and i will be praying hard for you and your husband . he should have more respect for you then that . so dont you give into his ways follow jesus ways ok .
I guarantee you've been in several unhappy relationship haven't you?

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