can you trust men after they lie and cheat?

Posted in the London Forum

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heartbroke

Corbin, KY

#1 Sep 23, 2009
my man lied and cheated on me for a year. can i trust him now? he says he has changed.
Heartless

London, KY

#2 Sep 23, 2009
Nope....you can fool yourself to believe that you can, but once a cheater and liar always a cheater and liar...He just wants the milk and the cow....I do feel your pain and hate that the ones that we love so much can hurt us so deep....Hang in there girlie, you are not alone!!!
lesson learned

Ripley, TN

#3 Sep 23, 2009
Heartless wrote:
Nope....you can fool yourself to believe that you can, but once a cheater and liar always a cheater and liar...He just wants the milk and the cow....I do feel your pain and hate that the ones that we love so much can hurt us so deep....Hang in there girlie, you are not alone!!!
No you can not, if you let them get away with it, they will do it again, listen to me im old enough to know, i have been through it to many of times. Once they lie or cheat they will always do it.
also

Hazard, KY

#4 Sep 23, 2009
have you changed?did he go weeks on end without some?was the only time you dressed up was to go to wal-mart or town without him?did you make him feel special or when he came in from work,you was pointing out things he has not done or needed to do?if you answered yes to any of that,maybe you needed to change some too.if you did not do any of that,then you may be wasting your time.

Since: Sep 09

Brownsville, TN

#5 Sep 23, 2009
lesson learned wrote:
<quoted text>
No you can not, if you let them get away with it, they will do it again, listen to me im old enough to know, i have been through it to many of times. Once they lie or cheat they will always do it.
Yes, you're probably right. I might add, women are as capable of cheating as men. I can say that from experience.
whatever

Corbin, KY

#6 Sep 23, 2009
also wrote:
have you changed?did he go weeks on end without some?was the only time you dressed up was to go to wal-mart or town without him?did you make him feel special or when he came in from work,you was pointing out things he has not done or needed to do?if you answered yes to any of that,maybe you needed to change some too.if you did not do any of that,then you may be wasting your time.
You must be a man writing this. Of course always trying to turn it around and make the woman feel guilty. He cheated on me. And if you have to know yes we had sex everyday and i cooked and i waited on him hand and foot and dressed up all the time.
also

Hazard, KY

#7 Sep 23, 2009
how do i find you then?that is my kinda women.but i don't believe you.unless you in your early twenties,that is bullcrap.
Jody Lynn

London, KY

#8 Sep 23, 2009
Maybe you were to good to him.

Since: Sep 09

Brownsville, TN

#9 Sep 23, 2009
whatever wrote:
<quoted text>You must be a man writing this. Of course always trying to turn it around and make the woman feel guilty. He cheated on me. And if you have to know yes we had sex everyday and i cooked and i waited on him hand and foot and dressed up all the time.
Unfortunately, it's just not in some people's nature to be faithful to one person. There's nothing you can do to keep them from wandering.
father rahn

Madisonville, KY

#10 Sep 23, 2009
also wrote:
have you changed?did he go weeks on end without some?was the only time you dressed up was to go to wal-mart or town without him?did you make him feel special or when he came in from work,you was pointing out things he has not done or needed to do?if you answered yes to any of that,maybe you needed to change some too.if you did not do any of that,then you may be wasting your time.
BRAVO...BRAVO
answers

London, KY

#11 Sep 23, 2009
Before you married,I don't know if you were shackin, you should have known what he stood for.Marriage is what you can do for your spouse, not what you can get from them,alot of people look at the other through their own agenda,self.Don't get me wrong, you expect what you put in, but a God fearing person is who a believer should be yoked up to,that way you both KNOW that your headed in the right direction.This may not be what you want to hear but you'll have peace in your relationship if your both Christians.Blessings..
Safe

Manchester, KY

#12 Sep 23, 2009
its simple i dnt care how much you love someone if you love them the right way then you wouldnt cheat on them.. people use excuses....like well we just dnt get along anymore, she wasnt giving me any at home. we are just not in love anymore.....no excuse makes mores since than calling it quits or getting hlp. if u dnt want to get hlp or if one person does and the other doesnt then tuff shit end it. that person doesnt care enough about you to get hlp to stay together then you can do btr. cheated once i bet more than anything its been more than once. probably alot of times..
been there

Cynthiana, KY

#13 Sep 23, 2009
heartbroke wrote:
my man lied and cheated on me for a year. can i trust him now? he says he has changed.
You want to trust him again but I don't think you ever will fully trust him again and it just drives him and you crazy cause you analyze everything he says and does and where he is at etc. Maybe some counseling may help. It's like any addiction it is up to the person to stop no one else can do it for them. Myself i gave second and third chances and it still never stopped so i moved on and kicked myself for not doing it sooner.! Good luck!
sss

London, KY

#14 Sep 23, 2009
do on to him as he done to you. do i beleive he will cheat again? YES. he's not only cheating on you he's cheating and taking from your children if you have them and not only them he's cheating on his self. it's not worth the pain and heartache that everybody involves feel and by staying you are showing your children disrespect, and opening a door for children to let someone do them that way so for the love of children and the respect you want your children to see and know that you have for yourselve and them (leave). i did and i do not regret it at all.
exit

Manchester, KY

#15 Sep 23, 2009
aaaaaaa men. sss. preach it. leave do your slf a favor and leave take the kids if there is any and leave. state of ky has to 100% find you unfit as a mother in order to take your kids reguardless who makes the money or who ownes the house.. a mother has to be found unfit as a mother to loose her children in the state of ky. LEAVE HIM.. im sure there is someone out there thats alot btr for you and for the kids if there is any.
sss

London, KY

#16 Sep 23, 2009
heartbroke wrote:
my man lied and cheated on me for a year. can i trust him now? he says he has changed.
if a dog bit you would you ever trust that dog again?
exit

Manchester, KY

#17 Sep 23, 2009
and thats what either person would be wife or husband that cheats a dog.. low life .
Troy aikman

Santa Clara, CA

#18 Sep 23, 2009
I say no! My hubby cheated on me with 3 bitc!es that he met on my space and i will never trust him ever!
exit

Manchester, KY

#19 Sep 23, 2009
but the question is not only do u not trust him but did you leave him cause if you dnt trust him then there is no reason to stay.
watch out

London, KY

#20 Sep 23, 2009
heartbroke wrote:
my man lied and cheated on me for a year. can i trust him now? he says he has changed.
when you ask a question like that on here its untelling who you may get responses from and you have quite obviously recieved some people who are bitter over their own circumstances so their opinions may not be very objective..realistically you are the only one who can answer your question..let me ask you a few questions i don't expect you to answer just consider them.. first of all how did you come to know that he was cheating?? did he come forth and confess and promise to make it up to you for the harm & heartache that he has caused you and does he seem truly contrite?? is he attentive to you now and does he seem to really be genuinely trying to regain your trust? It makes a world of difference when a person is truthfully & genuinely remorseful and repentant..even good people make mistakes ..it is really no one elses business if you decide to forgive and forget..regardless divorce is a serious choice especially when there are children involved..remember loretta lynns song "you ain't woman enough to take my man" some women take that kind of attitude..none of us are qualified to make your decision for you but do keep this advice in mind.. if do decide to stay with him i hope you will try to forgive and forget especially if he seems truly remorseful.. don't continue to bring it back up and relive it constantly he may never cheat again.. but if he does continue to cheat you may be setting yourself up to catch aids or other kinds of stds so take this into consideration before you make your choice

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