Marriage and cheating

Posted in the Logan Forum

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lost soul

Apple Grove, WV

#1 Oct 18, 2008
when you give all you've got to a marriage, and you love your spouse with all of your heart, and you go above and beyond to be the best person that you can and have the most wholesome family you can,given the state the world is in today...why can't one person be enough for some people? why do they have to go looking somewhere else when they have everything they ever needed at home????Why do they think they need more??
carsy lady

Humble, TX

#2 Oct 18, 2008
maybe because one spouse is not getting everything they need from the other spouse..........
mad momma

United States

#3 Oct 18, 2008
carsy lady wrote:
maybe because one spouse is not getting everything they need from the other spouse..........
you lost the point , if everything possible is going into the marriage that possibly could , then why do they still stray. I'm not sure , some ppl don't respect there vows, some are sex addics, some just get turned on by being sneaky and cheating. I guess there are so many different answers, but it depends on the person who is cheating. and also it could of been the case of someone came on to them and flirted , and kept on until something happened.
why

United States

#4 Oct 18, 2008
what i wanna know is why does a woman stay when a man has asked her to leave and wants a divorce...whyyyy does she drag it out when he wants her gone...especially when she knows he is seeing someone else!
mad momma

United States

#5 Oct 18, 2008
well that's just as bad as a woman getting preagnant just so she can try to keep him. it's kind a funny. I mean if they don't want you then why try to make them or make yourself believe that they do. in the end it's omly you gettin hurt. which is almost the same as a woman staying when she is being beat. Evidentally (spelled wrong) he don't care for u if he's beating your brains out.
i feel ya

United States

#6 Nov 28, 2008
why wrote:
what i wanna know is why does a woman stay when a man has asked her to leave and wants a divorce...whyyyy does she drag it out when he wants her gone...especially when she knows he is seeing someone else!
as a woman who had that problem, I always wondered the same. If I say I don't love you anymore, there is NOTHING you can do to make me love you. Its over, get a grip, and move on...
Broken Heart

Charleston, WV

#7 Nov 28, 2008
lost soul wrote:
when you give all you've got to a marriage, and you love your spouse with all of your heart, and you go above and beyond to be the best person that you can and have the most wholesome family you can,given the state the world is in today...why can't one person be enough for some people? why do they have to go looking somewhere else when they have everything they ever needed at home????Why do they think they need more??
When a man leaves a good woman in search of another it is something lacking in his character that no woman will be able to fulfill. The problem is with him and not with you. He will prob never truely be happy no matter who he is with.
really

United States

#8 Nov 28, 2008
I, truly, believe some don't understand how good they have it at home. Think the "grass is greener." Then, after living across that "field" for months, a part of them just want their life back. Because, eventually, the newness where's off; reality sets in. Any time someone cheats, be it man or woman, they aren't just hurting their spouses, they are hurting everyone around them. Think of the problems those two individuals cause by their lying. If you are cheating, you are lying! YOu must in order to keep the game going! I have said this before. Should I ever be in a situation where I thought cheating might happen. I would be respectful enough of myself and my spouse to end it and move on. I am mature enough to realize, this life isn't ALL ABOUT ME!
funny

United States

#9 Dec 9, 2008
why wrote:
what i wanna know is why does a woman stay when a man has asked her to leave and wants a divorce...whyyyy does she drag it out when he wants her gone...especially when she knows he is seeing someone else!
if thats what he is tellin you ur just as stupid as she is guaranteed u dont no what goes on behind closed doors ur just a dumb ass
wicked1

United States

#10 Dec 9, 2008
they are telling both parties what it takes to make them happy while they worry themself sick they are going to get caught. they tell the friend i dont even sleep with my wife or husband i cant stand them we dont talk, ect. while on the other hand the wife or husband is getting more sex than ever, more attention, flowers,(its called a felling gulity) while on the other hahd the friend is being told without them they would kill themself, i guess they really beleive the married person goes without sex for weeks on end, until they see each other again right> just rember the grass aint no greener on the other side of the fenec it soon turns to weeds thats when they relize they had it better at home. but its never the same again. you can make it if you both wont to try, but its hart
cat woman

Buckhannon, WV

#11 Dec 9, 2008
some ppl you just cant please no matter what u do for them
Hopeless_lost

Charleston, WV

#12 Dec 9, 2008
Marriage is hard. It takes work. The end.
Spacey

Harlan, KY

#13 Dec 9, 2008
Hopeless_lost wrote:
Marriage is hard. It takes work. The end.
I agree....I caught my husband with another woman and I went crazy (BTW her name is Kerrie Lynn Black and if anyone knows her WATCH OUT!) but then I realized it takes two to tango...
I was working 2 jobs, keeping a home, raising a child, then in my spare time I went out on the weekends with my girl-friends or had them come over to my house when I should have been spending that little extra time with my husband. I don't blame myself though....he is a full grown man that knows right from wrong and she should have been woman enough to tell him to leave his wife first...but like you said, it was exciting..........plus any woman who cheats with a married man should open her eyes and see, if he's lying to his wife to be with you, what makes you so much better and what makes you think he's not lying to you......most cheating men stay with their wives too..........and the women they cheat with are less attractive and less intelligent then their spouse, that's a proven fact.....they're simply filling a temporary void....
My husband and I stayed together and it's been a long hard road to travel....lots of talking, truth telling and counseling.....but now we really are closer than ever........I guess I understand know that it's not only sex that drives a man to cheat......because that never has been a problem........it's great!! it was simply attention......she paid him attention and praise that I wasn't giving him........of course they were intimate..........but......... I can't change the past as much as I want to, but I can be the most attentive, loving wife on this planet and that exactly what I am....and in return my husband treats me like a queen..........I love him more than ever now.

But like I told him....I am back together now and focused on our marriage..........but I'll always have that broken piece in my heart....I have forgave him but I will never forget.
goodlife

Tucson, AZ

#14 Dec 9, 2008
Hopeless_lost wrote:
Marriage is hard. It takes work. The end.
marriage is a 2/way street. Communication, love, trust & companionship will keep a couple together no matter what storms may hit them. But having GOD in it is number 1.
His wife

United States

#15 Dec 9, 2008
Spacey wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree....I caught my husband with another woman and I went crazy (BTW her name is Kerrie Lynn Black and if anyone knows her WATCH OUT!) but then I realized it takes two to tango...
I was working 2 jobs, keeping a home, raising a child, then in my spare time I went out on the weekends with my girl-friends or had them come over to my house when I should have been spending that little extra time with my husband. I don't blame myself though....he is a full grown man that knows right from wrong and she should have been woman enough to tell him to leave his wife first...but like you said, it was exciting..........plus any woman who cheats with a married man should open her eyes and see, if he's lying to his wife to be with you, what makes you so much better and what makes you think he's not lying to you......most cheating men stay with their wives too..........and the women they cheat with are less attractive and less intelligent then their spouse, that's a proven fact.....they're simply filling a temporary void....
My husband and I stayed together and it's been a long hard road to travel....lots of talking, truth telling and counseling.....but now we really are closer than ever........I guess I understand know that it's not only sex that drives a man to cheat......because that never has been a problem........it's great!! it was simply attention......she paid him attention and praise that I wasn't giving him........of course they were intimate..........but......... I can't change the past as much as I want to, but I can be the most attentive, loving wife on this planet and that exactly what I am....and in return my husband treats me like a queen..........I love him more than ever now.
But like I told him....I am back together now and focused on our marriage..........but I'll always have that broken piece in my heart....I have forgave him but I will never forget.
Been there and lived that too. It takes a lot of work to make it a go after something like this. It is the single most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. Anyone that has ever been through this, has to be able to forgive and it is great if you can forget too. you have to put it in the past never to be mentioned again or it will destroy what marriage that you have left. That was almost 10 years ago and we have so moved passed that. I am thankful everyday that we could make it work.
Hopeless_lost

Charleston, WV

#16 Dec 10, 2008
I know what it takes to be in a marriage.
Trust me I know. and I wish I wasnt married.
Cheaters will always cheat. If they love you it wouldnt have happened to begin with. Thats the truth! I learned that years ago the hard way.
1 post removed
donna

Nolensville, TN

#18 Jan 11, 2009
so many take their vows so lightly. we need to strive everyday to keep the fire burning in our relationship. first of all God needs to be the center of a family. You do not need to be around the opposite sex because it will lead one astray.
Take time everyday to spend with your spouse. It is treasured time
recovering

United States

#19 Jan 11, 2009
What do you do if you're in a situation where you have cheated and the other won't leave you alone? You have ask over and over. Both spouses know what happened.(mine is wonderful and we woked it out) It was not planned...it never is, though. I have told them that that part of my life is over(it was the biggest mistake of my life but I can't take it back) but it's not enough. They insist they are the "only one for me" and will not let this go! I want to handle this as discreet as possible. I appreciate any "helpful" input..please not putting me down. I have done enough of that by myself.
im a christian

Charleston, WV

#20 Jan 14, 2009
i recently, right before christmas, found out my husband cheated on me over the summer. he has lied, lied, and lied so much to me in the past.
he was never gonna tell. though he said eventally, he would have. but he's the type he never will tell the truth until he's trapped and can't deny it. the way i found out was, i told him that the other person comfronted me and told me what happened between them and i wanted to know if it was true. well, he said.... she started it and he only told me that they just flirted and that was all. but, it took about a week of dragging the rest out of him. all the way to calling the girl up and getting her side of the story. well i found out much more. we are trying to make it work, but the person he cheated on me with is family. someone i have to see all the time. i don't want divorce to be an option. i got a 5 y.o girl. we are both christians. someone please how do i trust him and how do i know he won't do it again.
im a christian

Charleston, WV

#21 Jan 14, 2009
by the way, it was a sister in law, i've not told my brother. other family members that know have agreed that telling my brother is not a good idea. i hate it but, he would really do something he would regret later and to be honest, my husband and her knew better and there're not worth it. if no one has any suggestions on recovery..just really pray that the lord will guide me in this situation. pray he'll show me the truth in my husband because i just can't see it, even though he tells me he's sorry.

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