Do you ever read your kid's f acebook?

Posted in the Livermore Forum

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Sleepless

Livermore, CA

#1 Apr 29, 2013
Oh so many ignored lessons. Sigh. Don't say kids will be kids. It's a horrible thing, these kids. They talk about bad things, they're rude to each other, they play middle school jokes on each other, they post inappropriate pictures. I just grounded my son for something I found in his messages.

Sad. I suggest you get their password and look. Don't say your kid is an angel. Remember when you were 12 or 13? Think real hard. Now open their facebook accounts.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#2 Apr 29, 2013
Sleepless wrote:
Oh so many ignored lessons. Sigh. Don't say kids will be kids. It's a horrible thing, these kids. They talk about bad things, they're rude to each other, they play middle school jokes on each other, they post inappropriate pictures. I just grounded my son for something I found in his messages.

Sad. I suggest you get their password and look. Don't say your kid is an angel. Remember when you were 12 or 13? Think real hard. Now open their facebook accounts.
Agreed. Part of our agreement with our oldest son (the only one on social media so far) is that he have us as 'friends'(FB, Instagram, Twitter, etc.) and we have his password for "random" login checks. It doesn't always keep him from posting something less than appropriate but I believe it does help. I would never judge another family but it is definitely shocking to see what children post: profanity, racist, sexist, and even hurtful, political inspired messages are very common. My work experience is in a technology field so I do believe social media is a bit of a necessary evil in this day and age - I choose to monitor so I can educate, rather than banning it altogether and then having them figure it out the hard way, on their own, as adults.

Level 2

Since: Sep 12

Livermore, CA

#3 Apr 30, 2013
Set up parental controls on your computer if your child is behaving inappropriately, until they regain your trust they need to be kept on a leash (so to speak) This example seems a bit extreme but I guarantee you Hannah thought twice about speaking ill of others.

“From Dusk To Dawn,...”

Level 8

Since: Mar 12

Nightmare,...or Frightmare?

#4 Apr 30, 2013
Hmmm,...no, but I probably should. Thought the old lady was going to keep tabs on that. Guess I was wrong there too,...

“E A D G B E”

Level 8

Since: Oct 10

3rd String is the G String

#5 Apr 30, 2013
Yes,I did. I make no apologies for it either...though she is grown, has her own place and a baby, I still know her password. Sometimes, when she leaves here, she doesn't log out. So, I admit it. I read.

Level 2

Since: Sep 12

Livermore, CA

#6 Apr 30, 2013
Misty Fitch wrote:
Yes,I did. I make no apologies for it either...though she is grown, has her own place and a baby, I still know her password. Sometimes, when she leaves here, she doesn't log out. So, I admit it. I read.
Wow, it's one thing to log into and snoop on your teenager's facebook, but to do it to and adult... You should apologize! It's time to cut the umbilical cord.

“E A D G B E”

Level 8

Since: Oct 10

3rd String is the G String

#7 Apr 30, 2013
MourningWood wrote:
<quoted text>Wow, it's one thing to log into and snoop on your teenager's facebook, but to do it to and adult... You should apologize! It's time to cut the umbilical cord.
You reckon?

Level 2

Since: Sep 12

Livermore, CA

#8 Apr 30, 2013
Misty Fitch wrote:
<quoted text>
You reckon?
WWJD? snoop or trust his children?

Level 2

Since: Sep 12

Livermore, CA

#9 Apr 30, 2013
Misty Fitch wrote:
<quoted text>
You reckon?
My point being that your child no longer lives under your roof, and if you raised her correctly as I'm sure you did, even if she does leave her facebook logged in, you should have enough trust in her not to look into her profile.
Sleepless

Livermore, CA

#10 Apr 30, 2013
MourningWood wrote:
<quoted text> WWJD? snoop or trust his children?
wwjd... what is that? what would jesus do or something? Who cares. Kids, until they are 18, are the responsibility of the parent and if the kids are doing something illegal or harassing then the parent needs to know and stop it or the parent could possibly be the one to get into trouble as well as the kid.

The 18 yo, however, is 18. Now, if someone is mooching off of me and not working and living with me then that person needs to follow the home rules, but someone 18 living on his or her own does dumb things and doesn't get bailed out of jail when arrested unless it is not that person's fault then usually said person wasn't doing something stupid.

Level 2

Since: Sep 12

Livermore, CA

#11 Apr 30, 2013
Sleepless wrote:
<quoted text>
wwjd... what is that? what would jesus do or something? Who cares. Kids, until they are 18, are the responsibility of the parent and if the kids are doing something illegal or harassing then the parent needs to know and stop it or the parent could possibly be the one to get into trouble as well as the kid.
The 18 yo, however, is 18. Now, if someone is mooching off of me and not working and living with me then that person needs to follow the home rules, but someone 18 living on his or her own does dumb things and doesn't get bailed out of jail when arrested unless it is not that person's fault then usually said person wasn't doing something stupid.
Misty Fitches' comment section is filled to the brim with christian posts, just trying to appeal to her christian side.

“E A D G B E”

Level 8

Since: Oct 10

3rd String is the G String

#12 Apr 30, 2013
MourningWood wrote:
<quoted text> Misty Fitches' comment section is filled to the brim with christian posts, just trying to appeal to her christian side.
That is very nice of you....actually I was only joking. Then, I had a crisis and am just now getting around to coming back here. However,if I thought she was in trouble, I would not hesitate a second to snoop. I am not joking about that. She knows that about me too.

Being a christian doesn't mean a person is perfect. There was only one perfect one on this earth. Anyway, sorry for the confusion.

“E A D G B E”

Level 8

Since: Oct 10

3rd String is the G String

#13 Apr 30, 2013
MourningWood wrote:
<quoted text> WWJD? snoop or trust his children?
You know what? It would not be a question for Jesus, because he would know all of the story. Her thoughts and my thoughts.

Level 1

Since: Mar 11

Livermore 94551

#14 Apr 30, 2013
I remember my dad snooping in my stuff as a teenager, it made me resentful toward him. Food for thought.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#15 Apr 30, 2013
Ssophiiee wrote:
I remember my dad snooping in my stuff as a teenager, it made me resentful toward him. Food for thought.
Ssophiiee: You will understand it better when you have children. The bottom line is that children are faced with temptation every single day, even the child with the best upbringing will make mistakes, remember that their brains are not fully developed. I would rather my child resent me for an occasion log in to check his social media, then the repercussions of a life altering mistake. Food for thought.

Level 1

Since: Mar 11

Livermore 94551

#16 Apr 30, 2013
MOTY wrote:
<quoted text>Ssophiiee: You will understand it better when you have children. The bottom line is that children are faced with temptation every single day, even the child with the best upbringing will make mistakes, remember that their brains are not fully developed. I would rather my child resent me for an occasion log in to check his social media, then the repercussions of a life altering mistake. Food for thought.
I don't have kids. I'm only a few years past my teens. But I do understand it more now than I did then. However, if parents feel there are trust issues, I think there are good ways to approach and bad ways. Today, social media is practically an identity. To have someone, even a parent go on there with good intentions, can feel like a huge personal violation. I suggest sitting down with your kids and letting them know you want to know what they are doing on Facebook, or whatever else they use, and why. If they're not up to no good, it shouldn't be a problem.

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#17 Apr 30, 2013
Ssophiiee wrote:
<quoted text>I don't have kids. I'm only a few years past my teens. But I do understand it more now than I did then. However, if parents feel there are trust issues, I think there are good ways to approach and bad ways. Today, social media is practically an identity. To have someone, even a parent go on there with good intentions, can feel like a huge personal violation. I suggest sitting down with your kids and letting them know you want to know what they are doing on Facebook, or whatever else they use, and why. If they're not up to no good, it shouldn't be a problem.
I think you may be misunderstanding me - my point is that I do not have an issue with my teen (our two other children are not on social media yet) because 1) I do monitor what's there and 2) have regular dialogue about what's appropriate or not. I'm open about how often I monitor (and no, it's not every day) and he knows he has an opportunity to express himself as an individual. He has earned the trust that he receives and therefore, appreciates it. I should also mention that he is nowhere near perfect nor do we expect him to be.

Level 1

Since: Mar 11

Livermore 94551

#18 May 1, 2013
MOTY wrote:
<quoted text>I think you may be misunderstanding me - my point is that I do not have an issue with my teen (our two other children are not on social media yet) because 1) I do monitor what's there and 2) have regular dialogue about what's appropriate or not. I'm open about how often I monitor (and no, it's not every day) and he knows he has an opportunity to express himself as an individual. He has earned the trust that he receives and therefore, appreciates it. I should also mention that he is nowhere near perfect nor do we expect him to be.
I think you guys have a good method. I think it's super important for there to be dialogue. Especially about what's expected and for him to know that you'll periodically check. I remember what I hated was when my dad would snoop, not say anything, just randomly ground me or something.
blessed4

Union City, CA

#19 May 1, 2013
My daughter doesn't even know her password, I set her up on FB. I look at her FB page, check posts, and friends etc. I unfriend anyone that I think is acting too old for their age . I see groups joined etc. then I hand her iPod over to her. When she is done posting I take a look and logout.
blessed4

Union City, CA

#20 May 1, 2013
I guess I should say that was our agreement when letting her even go on FB. My husband doesn't even want her To have a FB. But, I know it is the times, so I monitor closely. She actually isn't in it very often. She rather check out Pineterest.

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