Ponder This

Cameron, MO

#121 Aug 17, 2009
You all should know the autopsy can pinpoint a time frame for these injuries if they charged him (and not her) then I would assume there is no way she could have been involved PERIOD! I have known many mothers that have been neglectful, but I don't think those mothers would murder their children. There is a difference in neglect and actual abuse. I don't think Steph was ever actually taught to take care of her children and lord knows she hasn't had much help Loyd's been in jail most of the time. She has tried to fill that void with the wrong damned men that is for sure! If she gets those twins back it is because the state found no signs that she abused them, and everyone can stop with their he said she said crap!
Shop Girl

Peace Valley, MO

#122 Aug 17, 2009
According to news reports published today, Thomas admitted to police that he threw the baby into the bathtub, causing the injuries that proved fatal. He has been charged with second degree murder for his actions.

Remember, brain death can occur before physical death. The child was brain dead when taken to the hospital in Springfield. Life support was turned off there, causing her physical death.

There is far too much of this kind of thing happening in Missouri. We all need to ask ourselves what we, as individuals, can do to change it. The greatest desert is made from small pieces of sand.
Pistol Pete

United States

#123 Aug 17, 2009
Ponder This wrote:
You all should know the autopsy can pinpoint a time frame for these injuries if they charged him (and not her) then I would assume there is no way she could have been involved PERIOD! I have known many mothers that have been neglectful, but I don't think those mothers would murder their children. There is a difference in neglect and actual abuse. I don't think Steph was ever actually taught to take care of her children and lord knows she hasn't had much help Loyd's been in jail most of the time. She has tried to fill that void with the wrong damned men that is for sure! If she gets those twins back it is because the state found no signs that she abused them, and everyone can stop with their he said she said crap!
Maybe I am wrong,but it seems if you neglect your children then that is abuse.Someone correct me on that as I am not certain.
wow

El Dorado Springs, MO

#124 Aug 17, 2009
the dfs gives kids back to women that don,t take care of them, so whats wrong with DFS? l,m not saying any thing about any one on here, i just think they need to change a lot of the laws. they should,nt call and let them know when they are coming out. they should just show up. they call a day ahead of time and say IM COMING OUT TOMORROW, SO HOW DUMB IS THAT IT GIVES THEM TIME TO CLEAN THE KIDS UP AND THEIR NASY HOME. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. DFS DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Me Myself and I

Rolla, MO

#125 Aug 17, 2009
Ponder This wrote:
You all should know the autopsy can pinpoint a time frame for these injuries if they charged him (and not her) then I would assume there is no way she could have been involved PERIOD! I have known many mothers that have been neglectful, but I don't think those mothers would murder their children. There is a difference in neglect and actual abuse. I don't think Steph was ever actually taught to take care of her children and lord knows she hasn't had much help Loyd's been in jail most of the time. She has tried to fill that void with the wrong damned men that is for sure! If she gets those twins back it is because the state found no signs that she abused them, and everyone can stop with their he said she said crap!
It says that Lloyd isn't even the father (and they knew that) so maybe you should be looking at this Valley guy too and why he waits till his daughter is dead to do anything!
mowmow

Mount Vernon, MO

#126 Aug 17, 2009
not so funny wrote:
bobsmom & the mother of this child-
I am soo sorry for your loss. I can not even begin to express how helpless I feel at this horrible time. Please know that my husband & I are praying for you that are all involved in this tragic situation. I can only express how sorry I am, please if there is a memorial fund or whatever set up, will you post it on here, we would like to help.
Thank you & god bless all of you.
There is a love fund @ town and country bank in licking mo for loyce darlene-marie decker
In Pieces

Sullivan, MO

#127 Aug 17, 2009
I don't know who did what. But it's amazing how people on here pass judgement before they have all the facts. If they don't have the facts, then they will make some up. It's really reprehensible. If this woman had nothing to do with the death of her child, how unthinkably cruel the things that are being said are. The investigators know how to do their jobs, and they will come up with the answers. I prefer to wait for them before I pronounce judgement on this person.
In answer to the person that asked if neglect is the same as abuse. It is and it isn't. Neglect can be for many reasons. Lack of education of how to care for children, laziness, or even lack of intelligence. Abuse, on the other hand, is usually an act of violence (physical or mental), either deliberately done out of cruelty, or loss of control due to anger. There are great similarities in some case, and none at all in others. Both can cover a wide range of activities. Neglect can be failing to feed or clean your children, or even not picking them up for prolonged times when they cry. Not paying attention to where they are, or if they are missing. Abuse can be anything from verbal, saying horrible things to a child, to hitting, throwing things, throwing the child, shaking, or sexual. It's really awful how many terrible things can happen to a child. If only God could keep those that are not fit to have children from conceiving them. But it doesn't work that way.
Pistol Pete

United States

#128 Aug 17, 2009
wow wrote:
the dfs gives kids back to women that don,t take care of them, so whats wrong with DFS? l,m not saying any thing about any one on here, i just think they need to change a lot of the laws. they should,nt call and let them know when they are coming out. they should just show up. they call a day ahead of time and say IM COMING OUT TOMORROW, SO HOW DUMB IS THAT IT GIVES THEM TIME TO CLEAN THE KIDS UP AND THEIR NASY HOME. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. DFS DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
The question that I have is if neglect is not child abuse than what is?I see small children and even older children in town with dirty faces and clothes and hair that has not been washed in who knows how long,is that neglect or is that a sign of a bigger problem..abuse???We can blame DFS all we want and probably should,but they have strict guidelines to follow,so people maybe should stop blaming DFS when it falls to parents who made the choice to be parents.Its always easier to blame others.
Pistol Pete

United States

#129 Aug 17, 2009
mowmow wrote:
<quoted text>
There is a love fund @ town and country bank in licking mo for loyce darlene-marie decker
A "Love" fund?? For who is the "Love" fund for?Surely not for the sweet baby thats gone??She is with God now,she does not need a "Love fund" She is safe now..Sorry about my attitude but lets get real.
Angel boy

United States

#130 Aug 17, 2009
mowmow wrote:
<quoted text>
There is a love fund @ town and country bank in licking mo for loyce darlene-marie decker
A love fund?/indeed for whom I might add.How sweet and caring a love fund.Who is loving who now.?
Ponder This

Cameron, MO

#131 Aug 17, 2009
Loyd claimed that baby and he is on the birth certificate and there at hospital when she was born he is her legal father! Obviously the biological father didn't give a SH*T.
Me Myself and I wrote:
<quoted text>
It says that Lloyd isn't even the father (and they knew that) so maybe you should be looking at this Valley guy too and why he waits till his daughter is dead to do anything!

Since: Aug 09

Nashville, IL

#132 Aug 17, 2009
For everyone that has just flung stories every which damn way that they could, go to houstonherald.com and read the whole TRUE awful confession of the monster that took that little precious angels life!! It's amazing how quick everyone pointed their fingers @ Stephanie and thrive on the "facts" that everyone just knew was true. She may not be the worlds greatest mother-but everytime u talked to her, she couldn't stop talking about her kids. She truely loves them all but is still trying 2 figure out how 2 love herself! I thank God that my mistakes haven't cost me the way they are costing her. Maybe everybody should be thankful and let the judging be left up 2 the only one who matters!!
Ponder This

Cameron, MO

#133 Aug 18, 2009
That is what I am saying! Instead of people being their for a mother who has lost her baby, they are slinging mud at her! It pisses me off immensely!
mama7 wrote:
For everyone that has just flung stories every which damn way that they could, go to houstonherald.com and read the whole TRUE awful confession of the monster that took that little precious angels life!! It's amazing how quick everyone pointed their fingers @ Stephanie and thrive on the "facts" that everyone just knew was true. She may not be the worlds greatest mother-but everytime u talked to her, she couldn't stop talking about her kids. She truely loves them all but is still trying 2 figure out how 2 love herself! I thank God that my mistakes haven't cost me the way they are costing her. Maybe everybody should be thankful and let the judging be left up 2 the only one who matters!!
In Pieces

Sullivan, MO

#134 Aug 18, 2009
mama7 wrote:
For everyone that has just flung stories every which damn way that they could, go to houstonherald.com and read the whole TRUE awful confession of the monster that took that little precious angels life!! It's amazing how quick everyone pointed their fingers @ Stephanie and thrive on the "facts" that everyone just knew was true. She may not be the worlds greatest mother-but everytime u talked to her, she couldn't stop talking about her kids. She truely loves them all but is still trying 2 figure out how 2 love herself! I thank God that my mistakes haven't cost me the way they are costing her. Maybe everybody should be thankful and let the judging be left up 2 the only one who matters!!
Thank you, this is what I was looking for. Some verifiable acts. I agree with you, people go crazy with conjecture and opinion, and forget that opinion isn't fact. I pray that the mom can pull through this, and without a doubt, she will be a better mother to the children that she still has. I pray that her heart heals, as much as a mother's can, that has lost her child. I also pray that she is able to make better choices in the future. Nothing will bring back her child, but tormenting the woman won't either. It's appalling how cruel people are on topix. My son saw Stephanie the other day, and though he isn't really friends with her, he tried to offer her comfort. When she heard that people were saying that she did it, my son said that she just broke down and howled. How awful is this? Everyone has moments in their life when they use very poor judgement. Most of us get by without such terrible consequences. My heart really goes out to her, no matter what mistakes she's made. Really, if we as humans, cannot be humane, and avoid abusing another ourselves, are we any better than the people that we are calling down for abuse? Abuse can only stop if everyone stops, and educates those that are abusers and teaches them other ways. You cannot teach others not to abuse by being abusive yourself. It's like people who beat children to teach them not to hit. It's counter productive.
i wonder

El Dorado Springs, MO

#135 Aug 18, 2009
do you all know how many times she has gone to peoples houses and went in and drank beer with them....while her children were in the car...one time i know it was midnight when she did that...after she had been there about 20 minutes the person at the house found out that the kids were in the car and hollered at her about doing that....then she got in her car and drove off drunk with them in her car......not a good mother in my book....i hope dfs takes a good long look at this mother
Ponder This

Cameron, MO

#136 Aug 18, 2009
Do all you can to make her look bad and to seem like it is all her fault instead of comforting the girl, like someone said on another post maybe the death of her child will be enough to open her eyes and make her more responsible.
i wonder wrote:
do you all know how many times she has gone to peoples houses and went in and drank beer with them....while her children were in the car...one time i know it was midnight when she did that...after she had been there about 20 minutes the person at the house found out that the kids were in the car and hollered at her about doing that....then she got in her car and drove off drunk with them in her car......not a good mother in my book....i hope dfs takes a good long look at this mother
i wonder

El Dorado Springs, MO

#137 Aug 18, 2009
i hope so for those other babies she has
Frowning

Sullivan, MO

#138 Aug 18, 2009

Everyone wants to throw blame, but I will tell you whom I feel carries at least some responsibility. That is the judge that let Freddie go from prison after 120 days on a seven year sentence. If the judge had enforced the sentence, this fellow would not been in society to harm a child. I know his supporters do not want to hear this, but a person that continually has gotten into trouble and has been sentenced for that long to prison, is not a pillar of society. We have a couple of other people in our community, or that still come back and visit our community that this judge has allowed to get by with little time for their deeds, over and over. The penalties for their wrongs have been so light, that they have learned nothing from them.
I also heard another disturbing rumor. I do not know if it's true, but it's going around that Freddie's family has attacked the mother of this child, claiming that if she hadn't left her child with him, that he wouldn't be in jail. I found that appalling. But it's not the first time that I've heard someone in this town be angry because they were turned in, and blaming the person that turned them in, rather than the criminal. That's just an insane state of thinking.
crazy

El Dorado Springs, MO

#139 Aug 18, 2009
and just who are you....whats your name...you seem to know so much about freddie and his family...if you knew freddie then you would know he would take the blame for someone....so either give us your name busybody or SHUT UP
Ponder This

Cameron, MO

#140 Aug 18, 2009
From what I hear that poor girl is getting it from EVERY direction!! This bobsmom who acts so nice and concerned and made the website for Loyce. If you loved that baby, you would help her mother through this horrible tragedy! bobsmom (Judy) and Joyce somebody are really giving the girl hell. The Sherriff said "The mother was not home when the assault happened" how can he be taking the blame for her I am SEVERELY confused to your way of thinking?!@

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