When god made a West Virginia State T...

When god made a West Virginia State Trooper!!

Posted in the Lewisburg Forum

thankful

Princeton, WV

#1 Jul 28, 2009
WHEN GOD MADE A WV STATE TROOPER

When the Lord was creating West Virginia State Troopers, he was on his sixth day of overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around with this one." The Lord said, "Have you read the requirements for this one yet? They have to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale six foot fences, enter homes the Health Inspector would not enter, and do it all without wrinkling their uniform. They must be able to sit in an undercover car all day on stakeouts, cover homicide scenes that night, canvas the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day. They must run on black coffee and half-eaten meals and little sleep while remaining in top physical shape. They need six pairs of hands and three sets of eyes." "No way," said the Angel "Three sets of eyes?" "Yes," said the Lord. "One to see that bulge in a pocket before they ask, May I see what is in there, sir...When they already know and wish they had taken that accounting job. A second pair on the side of their head to watch their partner and another pair in front to look into the eyes of an accident victim and say...You'll be OK...when they know they won't."

"Lord, said the Angel, "You had better rest and work on this one tomorrow." The Lord replied, "I can't. I already have a model that can take a two-hundred and fifty pound drunk in their patrol cruiser without incident and feed a family of four on a trooper's pay check."

The Angel circled the model and said, "Can it think, Lord?" The Lord said, "You bet and it can tell the elements of more than two-hundred and fifty crimes, recite Miranda warnings in their sleep, detain, investigate, search and arrest gang members on the streets in less time than it takes for a learned judge to debate the legality of the stop...and it still has a sense of humor. It can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, remove drugs from their community and then still read that Troopers are not sensitive to the needs and rights of criminals."

Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger over the cheek of the Trooper. "There Lord, there is a leak. I told you to rest." The Lord replied, "That is not a leak, it is a tear." The Angel asked, "What is the tear for Lord?" The Lord said, "The tear is for bottled up emotions, for fallen comrades, for lost loved ones, and for broken families. It is for the piece of cloth known as the American flag and the West Virginia State Police patch...It is for justice. The Angel replied, "You are a genius, Lord. The Tear is a wonderful touch." The Lord looked at the Angel somberly and said, "I know, but I did not put it there
Hell Hath No Fury

Marlinton, WV

#2 Jul 28, 2009
WHEN GOD CREATED POLICE OFFICERS

When the Lord was creating peace officers, He was into His sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order? A peace officer has to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale walls, enter homes the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform."

"He has to be able to sit in an undercover car all day on a stakeout, cover a homicide scene that night, canvass the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day."

"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, May I see what's in there, sir?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.) "Another pair here in the side of his head for his partner's safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look reassuringly at a bleeding victim and say, You'll be all right ma'am, when he knows it isn't so."

"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound drunk into a patrol car without incident and feed a family of five on a civil service paycheck." The angel circled the model of the peace officer very slowly. "Can it think?" she asked.

"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite Miranda warnings in its sleep; detain, investigate, search, and arrest a gang member on the street in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the stop...and still keeps its sense of humor."

"This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crimes scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, and then read in the daily paper how law enforcement isn't sensitive to the rights of criminal suspects."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model."

"That's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear." What's the tear for?" asked the angel.

"It's for bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."

"You're a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.

Author Unknown
hmmm

Princeton, WV

#3 Jul 28, 2009
you must be a police officer to change that ?
Hell Hath No Fury

Marlinton, WV

#4 Jul 28, 2009
hmmm wrote:
you must be a police officer to change that ?
Nope, the generic police officer one is the only one I have ever seen, I assume that "thankful" made the changes to the first one to make it exclusive for state police. I just think we should thank all peace officers not just one particular kind. They do a great service to our communities and deserve respect and gratitude for their work.
curious

United States

#5 Jul 28, 2009
A humble THANK YOU from me!
1 post removed
a wv trooper family

United States

#7 Jul 29, 2009
thankful wrote:
WHEN GOD MADE A WV STATE TROOPER
When the Lord was creating West Virginia State Troopers, he was on his sixth day of overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around with this one." The Lord said, "Have you read the requirements for this one yet? They have to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale six foot fences, enter homes the Health Inspector would not enter, and do it all without wrinkling their uniform. They must be able to sit in an undercover car all day on stakeouts, cover homicide scenes that night, canvas the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day. They must run on black coffee and half-eaten meals and little sleep while remaining in top physical shape. They need six pairs of hands and three sets of eyes." "No way," said the Angel "Three sets of eyes?" "Yes," said the Lord. "One to see that bulge in a pocket before they ask, May I see what is in there, sir...When they already know and wish they had taken that accounting job. A second pair on the side of their head to watch their partner and another pair in front to look into the eyes of an accident victim and say...You'll be OK...when they know they won't."
"Lord, said the Angel, "You had better rest and work on this one tomorrow." The Lord replied, "I can't. I already have a model that can take a two-hundred and fifty pound drunk in their patrol cruiser without incident and feed a family of four on a trooper's pay check."
The Angel circled the model and said, "Can it think, Lord?" The Lord said, "You bet and it can tell the elements of more than two-hundred and fifty crimes, recite Miranda warnings in their sleep, detain, investigate, search and arrest gang members on the streets in less time than it takes for a learned judge to debate the legality of the stop...and it still has a sense of humor. It can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, remove drugs from their community and then still read that Troopers are not sensitive to the needs and rights of criminals."
Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger over the cheek of the Trooper. "There Lord, there is a leak. I told you to rest." The Lord replied, "That is not a leak, it is a tear." The Angel asked, "What is the tear for Lord?" The Lord said, "The tear is for bottled up emotions, for fallen comrades, for lost loved ones, and for broken families. It is for the piece of cloth known as the American flag and the West Virginia State Police patch...It is for justice. The Angel replied, "You are a genius, Lord. The Tear is a wonderful touch." The Lord looked at the Angel somberly and said, "I know, but I did not put it there
this is totally awesome. I have seen my mother worry but try not to show how afraid she was for the risks he has taken. So I thank God every day for protecting him to come home every evening
GlenP

Rupert, WV

#8 Aug 20, 2009
Let us all hope that the Lord made that a model as a mold for all police officers. I can testify to at least two other states, that I know about this model first hand, because my dad is a retired Deputy Sheriff in another state - the only difference I see is that he feed six in his family, as well as the elderly man who came to our house to babysit. While growing up, around my dad and his friends (police officers from other agencies), I say well over 90% of them fit the model. Those that aren't or who did not fit the mold/model, expect a recall soon - shape up or ship out.
Old WVSPr

Oakvale, WV

#9 Aug 20, 2009
Since 1919, we've been romping, stomping, and spreading hell, death and destruction. We're the finest fighting force on state has ever seen! We were born in bomb craters, out mother was an M-16, our father was the devil; each moment what we live is an additional threat upon your criminal life.
We are roughish looking, roving soldiers of the highways. We're cocky, self-centered, overbearing and do not know the meaning of fear, because we ARE fear itself! We are a forest green monster made of blood and guts that arose from the hills, whose sole purpose if life is to perpetuate death and destruction upon the festering of crim throughout the Mountain State, whenever it may arise. And when our time comes, we'll die a glorious death on the battlefield giving out lives to mom, apple pie, and the green and gold!
We live like soldiers, talk like sailors, and slap the hell out of both of them!
Fighter by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice! TROOPER BY GOD!
legal help

Elkview, WV

#10 Aug 21, 2009
my hats off to the wv state troopers they do a great job!!!!!
1 post removed
getsome

Princeton, WV

#12 Aug 21, 2009
Old WVSPr wrote:
Since 1919, we've been raping, stomping, and spreading std's, death and deception. We're the finest fighting force the state has ever seen! We were born in trash dumpsters, our mother was a whore, our father was are uncles; each moment that we live is an additional threat upon your innocent life.
We are girly looking, roving butt rangers of the highways. We like cocks, self-pleasured, crossdressed and do not know the meaning of 2+2, because we ARE fags full of fail! We are a clusterf$ck of monsters made of blood and guts that arose that where inbred from the hills, whose sole purpose of life is to set you up and plant drugs upon the innocent people who don't see our views throughout the Mountain State, whenever it may arise. And when our time comes, we'll die from self inflicted wounds giving back the lives to mom, apple pie, and the green and gold!
We live to suck soldiers, suck all the sailors, and slap the hell out of both of them!
Fighter by day, gay lover by night, drunkard by choice! TROOPER BY GOD!
fixed some things for ya
marlboro lady

Princeton, WV

#13 Aug 24, 2009
thankful wrote:
WHEN GOD MADE A WV STATE TROOPER
When the Lord was creating West Virginia State Troopers, he was on his sixth day of overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around with this one." The Lord said, "Have you read the requirements for this one yet? They have to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale six foot fences, enter homes the Health Inspector would not enter, and do it all without wrinkling their uniform. They must be able to sit in an undercover car all day on stakeouts, cover homicide scenes that night, canvas the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day. They must run on black coffee and half-eaten meals and little sleep while remaining in top physical shape. They need six pairs of hands and three sets of eyes." "No way," said the Angel "Three sets of eyes?" "Yes," said the Lord. "One to see that bulge in a pocket before they ask, May I see what is in there, sir...When they already know and wish they had taken that accounting job. A second pair on the side of their head to watch their partner and another pair in front to look into the eyes of an accident victim and say...You'll be OK...when they know they won't."
"Lord, said the Angel, "You had better rest and work on this one tomorrow." The Lord replied, "I can't. I already have a model that can take a two-hundred and fifty pound drunk in their patrol cruiser without incident and feed a family of four on a trooper's pay check."
The Angel circled the model and said, "Can it think, Lord?" The Lord said, "You bet and it can tell the elements of more than two-hundred and fifty crimes, recite Miranda warnings in their sleep, detain, investigate, search and arrest gang members on the streets in less time than it takes for a learned judge to debate the legality of the stop...and it still has a sense of humor. It can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, remove drugs from their community and then still read that Troopers are not sensitive to the needs and rights of criminals."
Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger over the cheek of the Trooper. "There Lord, there is a leak. I told you to rest." The Lord replied, "That is not a leak, it is a tear." The Angel asked, "What is the tear for Lord?" The Lord said, "The tear is for bottled up emotions, for fallen comrades, for lost loved ones, and for broken families. It is for the piece of cloth known as the American flag and the West Virginia State Police patch...It is for justice. The Angel replied, "You are a genius, Lord. The Tear is a wonderful touch." The Lord looked at the Angel somberly and said, "I know, but I did not put it there
troopers are born not made may god keep all troopers safe and have their backs
Joke

Camp Creek, WV

#14 Aug 24, 2009
A lady was traveling through Lewisburg on I 64 at a high rate of speed when a WV State Trooper decides to pull her over, The trooper walks up to the car and before he could say anything to the lady she spoke up and said " Sir I know why you pulled me over you are probably wanting to sell me a ticket to the Wv State Troopers Ball" the trooper replied to the lady " no ma'am troopers dont have balls" the lady looked up and grinned and the trooper realized what he said and let the lady go without a ticket.

Since: Jul 09

Location hidden

#15 Aug 24, 2009
Joke wrote:
A lady was traveling through Lewisburg on I 64 at a high rate of speed when a WV State Trooper decides to pull her over, The trooper walks up to the car and before he could say anything to the lady she spoke up and said " Sir I know why you pulled me over you are probably wanting to sell me a ticket to the Wv State Troopers Ball" the trooper replied to the lady " no ma'am troopers dont have balls" the lady looked up and grinned and the trooper realized what he said and let the lady go without a ticket.
Too funny!!!! gave me a good chuckle
Marine

Princeton, WV

#16 Aug 24, 2009
Old WVSPr wrote:
Since 1919, we've been romping, stomping, and spreading hell, death and destruction. We're the finest fighting force on state has ever seen! We were born in bomb craters, out mother was an M-16, our father was the devil; each moment what we live is an additional threat upon your criminal life.
We are roughish looking, roving soldiers of the highways. We're cocky, self-centered, overbearing and do not know the meaning of fear, because we ARE fear itself! We are a forest green monster made of blood and guts that arose from the hills, whose sole purpose if life is to perpetuate death and destruction upon the festering of crim throughout the Mountain State, whenever it may arise. And when our time comes, we'll die a glorious death on the battlefield giving out lives to mom, apple pie, and the green and gold!
We live like soldiers, talk like sailors, and slap the hell out of both of them!
Fighter by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice! TROOPER BY GOD!
Glad to see you also steal from the United States Marine Corps too. At least be creative, not plagiarize something like that.
Funny

Oakvale, WV

#17 Aug 24, 2009
A terrible car crash on a lonely streach of road. Trooper pulls up to the scene and notices a female driver lying along side the road with her pants torn off. He walks up and takes off his campaign hat and places it on her "private parts", as he did not have a blanket or sheet.
Soon a crowd gathers. An old man walks over to the girl lying beside the road and gently lifts up the Trooper's hat and looks underneath.
"Damn, first time I ever seen one of those hats without a prick underneath it."
lol

United States

#18 Aug 25, 2009
Funny wrote:
A terrible car crash on a lonely streach of road. Trooper pulls up to the scene and notices a female driver lying along side the road with her pants torn off. He walks up and takes off his campaign hat and places it on her "private parts", as he did not have a blanket or sheet.
Soon a crowd gathers. An old man walks over to the girl lying beside the road and gently lifts up the Trooper's hat and looks underneath.
"Damn, first time I ever seen one of those hats without a prick underneath it."
lmao, very good

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