Utah Middle School Student Outs Himself

Utah Middle School Student Outs Himself

There are 13 comments on the EDGE story from Dec 15, 2011, titled Utah Middle School Student Outs Himself. In it, EDGE reports that:

A 14-year-old student from the small city of Lehi, Utah, part of Utah County, outed himself while making a school project, reported the Utah news station KSL in a Dec.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at EDGE.

David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#1 Dec 15, 2011
>"We need to step in and do whatever it takes to make these students feel safe," Bromley said.

The kid came out in school via a school project.

The school issued a passive aggressive, disingenuous denial that by informing his parents that they were outing him to his parents.

His parents then kept the kid home - to protect him from the potential bullying, even though it's the bullies who should be kept out of school, not the target.

Then you wonder if the parents are keeping the kid home for safety or for cult re programming purposes.

And after all this, the school says the safety of students is paramount. Yeah, the safety of all the other students from having to live with diversity....
Sir Andrew

Ardmore, OK

#2 Dec 15, 2011
And, David, this is Utah. Yikes.

“Together for 24, legal for 5”

Since: Sep 07

Littleton, NH

#3 Dec 15, 2011
On the other hand, a public declaration to the entire school is hardly a secret that the school would be able to protect. The parents were bound to hear eventually--whether from another parent or whatever. The kid should have understood the consequences of his broadcast before he made it.

I don't really know anything about his family relationship. But the article doesn't mention any failure on the part of the school to protect the student's rights.
David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#4 Dec 15, 2011
nhjeff wrote:
On the other hand, a public declaration to the entire school is hardly a secret that the school would be able to protect. The parents were bound to hear eventually--whether from another parent or whatever. The kid should have understood the consequences of his broadcast before he made it.
I don't really know anything about his family relationship. But the article doesn't mention any failure on the part of the school to protect the student's rights.
This ties in with various public school administrators insisting that membership in various student clubs be made available to the parents.

While they make it apply to all clubs it's aimed at gay/str8 clubs, despite whatever lie they tell to the contrary.

I agree more information is needed about the exact facts. In the meantime I like my interpretation. It does seem as a net result that coming out in middle or high school will mean coming out to one's parents.(That didn't used to be true at college and so forth.) I further think this will backfire against the homophobic "religious" freeeks - rather than shutting down kids coming out at school it will simply mean more and more kids come out at young ages to their parents.
David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#5 Dec 15, 2011
Sir Andrew wrote:
And, David, this is Utah. Yikes.
My post four was poorly written, and my name certainly is not "David M."

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#6 Dec 15, 2011
After reading the article I think the school was in a difficult spot but did the right thing in contacting the parents.

I don't think they did it to cause harm to the boy. Also that by him coming out, he made it public and it WAS likely the parents would eventually hear of it.

Hopefully this will be a learning experience for everyone involved.
David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#7 Dec 15, 2011
DNF wrote:
After reading the article I think the school was in a difficult spot but did the right thing in contacting the parents.
I don't think they did it to cause harm to the boy. Also that by him coming out, he made it public and it WAS likely the parents would eventually hear of it.
Hopefully this will be a learning experience for everyone involved.
What we do _know_ is that the young man who came out is the one who isn't going to school now.

These bullies who allegedly necessitated the school outing the kid (to his parents, anyway,) are still attending the school.

Do the math. That should tell you 80% of what you need to know about that particular UTAH middle school....

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#8 Dec 15, 2011
David M s Ex Wife wrote:
<quoted text>
What we do _know_ is that the young man who came out is the one who isn't going to school now.
These bullies who allegedly necessitated the school outing the kid (to his parents, anyway,) are still attending the school.
Do the math. That should tell you 80% of what you need to know about that particular UTAH middle school....
You are ignoring the possibility that the child and his parents have decided to keep him home.

I fail to see why you are demonizing the school. I came out back in 1974 (8th grade) to most of my friends (10th to my parents). I was teased often and didn't confirm or deny I was gay except to certain people who I did confirm it to. In fact I dated some girls and later learned most of them knew I was gay before we started dating. The rest I simply stood up to and made them look foolish.
David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#9 Dec 15, 2011
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>You are ignoring the possibility that the child and his parents have decided to keep him home.
I fail to see why you are demonizing the school. I came out back in 1974 (8th grade) to most of my friends (10th to my parents). I was teased often and didn't confirm or deny I was gay except to certain people who I did confirm it to. In fact I dated some girls and later learned most of them knew I was gay before we started dating. The rest I simply stood up to and made them look foolish.
We already knew the parents elected to keep the kid at home.

Why weren't the bigots kept home so the kid who was allegedly subject to threats could go to school and feel safe?

Why are you so helpless to parse a simple story? This is UTAH.

Now, we can also refer to the fuller yahoo story, which I have just read. But we don't need to rely on the additional facts - it is a complex fact pattern - to grasp what is going on here.

>...The boy's family said they were grateful the school alerted them and that their son was doing fine. The advocate involvement has only drawn unwanted attention, the father said...."The administration handled everything just fine," the 14-year-old's father told ABCNews.com . "We didn't have any problems with what they did."..."Unfortunate ly, there was a small negative response from a small number of students."...When the boy was seen hugging another boy in the hallway, an adult aid thought it was "more than a normal hug," and notified school administrators with the intent of preventing any bullying, according to the teen's father...."He was very reluctant [about having the school out him to his parents], but he did agree that it was okay. He was scared. He was afraid his parents were going to be angry. He didn't want to be in the room."

>"He wasn't suspended," the father said. "We kept him home for the week because we wanted him to sit back and think about the incident."..."The thing is we know he's 14 and he will grow into whatever he grows into," he said. "Our responsibility is to make sure he has a loving house he can come to and not be bullied or discriminated against. Whether we like the decision or not, we're his parents and we love him."

Hey dumbsht bigot-parent: He's out. It's not what he'll grow into. He's out, you denying cretin. What does the kid have to sit back and "think about"? Did he bully someone?

And the glbt groups there backed down on expressing their concerns.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#10 Dec 15, 2011
David M s Ex Wife wrote:
<quoted text>
What we do _know_ is that the young man who came out is the one who isn't going to school now.
These bullies who allegedly necessitated the school outing the kid (to his parents, anyway,) are still attending the school.
Do the math. That should tell you 80% of what you need to know about that particular UTAH middle school....
the concept of preventative action seems lost on you. Was he actually bullied? Can you name who those students are and how many they are?

In a later post you even quote the father in a vieled effort to back up your umbrage and then call the father a cretin.

I see no sense in having further discussion with you.
David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#11 Dec 15, 2011
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>the concept of preventative action seems lost on you. Was he actually bullied? Can you name who those students are and how many they are?
In a later post you even quote the father in a vieled effort to back up your umbrage and then call the father a cretin.
I see no sense in having further discussion with you.
Good, you don't have to reply. Why don't you go have some light banter with racist, sexist, anti Semitic, pedo, imo, Daniel. That seems more your speed.

You are now on record as saying that if a school administration claims there is a potential for bullying that the target of the bullying should leave school. Not the (alleged to exist) bullies.

Nutty.

This is the "logic" that municipalities use to restrict free speech: That some person might create a disturbance. So they shut down the unpopular speech....

The school supposedly knows of a small number of students who made some remarks or something - allegedly (I think it's a made up excuse)- then the school should be able to find a student who can identify them, if the reports have any substance.

The school also should be able to make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated, and to support and protect the gay kid. But neither the school nor the parents really have any intention of doing this, as even a simple, quick reading of their comments and the fact pattern shows.
David M s Ex Wife

Philadelphia, PA

#12 Dec 15, 2011
Also, I suppose you consider the following to be gay supportive on the part of the father:

"He wasn't suspended," the father said. "We kept him home for the week because we wanted him to sit back and think about the incident."..."The thing is we know he's 14 and he will grow into whatever he grows into...."

It _obviously_ is gay supportive in only the most disingenuous, twisted sense of the word, "supportive."
BBB

Bountiful, UT

#13 Jan 12, 2012
David M s Ex Wife wrote:
Also, I suppose you consider the following to be gay supportive on the part of the father:
"He wasn't suspended," the father said. "We kept him home for the week because we wanted him to sit back and think about the incident."..."The thing is we know he's 14 and he will grow into whatever he grows into...."
It _obviously_ is gay supportive in only the most disingenuous, twisted sense of the word, "supportive."
Wow. You are obviously a very angry person.

As someone with more intimate knowledge of the situation, I can tell you that

1) The boy and the parents decided to keep him home for a week. NOT the school. And it was a decision based far more on internal family issues than any potential for bullying at school.

2) You whole attitude re: potential bullying concerns me. What you are saying is that if, as a CHILD, I decided someone might want to "bully" me - not that they actually HAD done anything - that the school should what, expell the possible bullies based soley on my say-so, with no evidence of any actual wrongdoing whatsoever?

3) As a Utah transplant of almost 10 years (coming from NYC, BTW) I can see your obvious bias showing when you keep pointing out how this happened in "UTAH" (your capitalization) as if that implies something. You might be surprised at the size and quality of the gay population here, and you WOULD be surprised at the level of tolerance and acceptance here. But instead you chose to stereotype and judge based on nothing more than ignorance.

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