Why does the "other woman" always bla...

Why does the "other woman" always blame the wife when a husband cheats?

Posted in the Lebanon Forum

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victim

Campbellsville, KY

#1 Jun 28, 2009
So I've seen the topic about the "other woman" being blamed when a man cheats on his wife, but it seems to me that the wife is getting a lot of blame these days. I think it's trashy to say things like "if you were doing things right at home, he wouldn't have looked elsewhere." The truth of the matter is, if a man is going to cheat, there is no one to blame for that but him. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do to keep your man happy, he's just selfish enough to want more. I'm not saying that the other woman is not wrong too. Anyone who participates in an affair that potentially ruins lives and hurts people is wrong. What it all boils down to is a willingness to commit. People, men and women alike, go through stages. They might look back and think "is this really my life?" or "is this all I'm ever going to have?". It's all in how you deal with it. Some people make bad choices and stray from the marriage, while others take the high road and put their focus on making the most of what they have. I myself, have been a victim of infidelity, and I know that it's not my fault. The other woman is partly to blame, but I place most of the blame on my husband.
reality

Burkesville, KY

#2 Jun 28, 2009
The truth of the matter is that they are not man enough to admit they made a mistake and it is just easier to blame someone else for what they have done. It is easy for them to say "well if my wife did the laundry or cooked or wanted sex more often, I wouldn't have strayed" that is bull shit, you are right, you have absolutely done nothing wrong, they just wanted sex and somone else gave it to them, thats all!!
Takes two

Elizabethtown, KY

#3 Jun 28, 2009
yes the man is to blame, but the when other woman knows he's married she should not cross that line. it takes two to have an affair and both parties deserve to have their asses whooped.
SU Student

United States

#5 Jun 28, 2009
One word od advice
"If he will do it with you, he will do it too you."

STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

Amen too getting your ass whooped, i know i would kick an ass!!!!
SU Student

United States

#6 Jun 28, 2009
One word of advice
"If he will do it with you, he will do it too you."

STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

Amen too getting your ass whooped, i know i would kick an ass!!!!
Beenthere

Sonora, KY

#7 Jun 28, 2009
reality wrote:
The truth of the matter is that they are not man enough to admit they made a mistake and it is just easier to blame someone else for what they have done. It is easy for them to say "well if my wife did the laundry or cooked or wanted sex more often, I wouldn't have strayed" that is bull shit, you are right, you have absolutely done nothing wrong, they just wanted sex and somone else gave it to them, thats all!!
Totally agree!!!!!!!!!!
ONLY 1

Elizabethtown, KY

#8 Jun 28, 2009
victim wrote:
So I've seen the topic about the "other woman" being blamed when a man cheats on his wife, but it seems to me that the wife is getting a lot of blame these days. I think it's trashy to say things like "if you were doing things right at home, he wouldn't have looked elsewhere." The truth of the matter is, if a man is going to cheat, there is no one to blame for that but him. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do to keep your man happy, he's just selfish enough to want more. I'm not saying that the other woman is not wrong too. Anyone who participates in an affair that potentially ruins lives and hurts people is wrong. What it all boils down to is a willingness to commit. People, men and women alike, go through stages. They might look back and think "is this really my life?" or "is this all I'm ever going to have?". It's all in how you deal with it. Some people make bad choices and stray from the marriage, while others take the high road and put their focus on making the most of what they have. I myself, have been a victim of infidelity, and I know that it's not my fault. The other woman is partly to blame, but I place most of the blame on my husband.
SO TRUE! It's a known fact that some married/committed men will cheat on their significant other no matter how good their relationship may be. Some men, and women too, are just naturally prone to cheating. I'm not sure if it has something to do with how a person was raised or things they may have seen growing up or what, but thats just the way some people are wired; they wouldn't be satisfied even if they were with a movie star, they would cheat on them as well. I don't think, it has anything to do with the wife/girlfriend doing or not doing something wright, or that they think the person their with is unattractive,(If they thought you were ugly, I don't think they would have married you, I know I would never marry someone I was not attracted to), I feel that sometimes there is no explanation for why things happen, or for why people do the things they do to others. Some things and people just ARE, there is no reason or understanding for it.
WELL

Burkesville, KY

#9 Jun 28, 2009
I have recently found out that there is "another woman" in my husband's life. I am sad, hurt, & angry, but I have nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I didn't keep the house clean enough or give him enough sex, but I was never unfaithful. I could just as easily say he didn't spend enough time with me or the kids, or give me enough attention. I took my vows and our committment to marriage seriously, for better or worse. I may have neglected him some, but he completely neglected our marriage by making it a trio instead of the duet it's supposed to be.
ONLY 1

Elizabethtown, KY

#10 Jun 29, 2009
WELL wrote:
I have recently found out that there is "another woman" in my husband's life. I am sad, hurt, & angry, but I have nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe I didn't keep the house clean enough or give him enough sex, but I was never unfaithful. I could just as easily say he didn't spend enough time with me or the kids, or give me enough attention. I took my vows and our committment to marriage seriously, for better or worse. I may have neglected him some, but he completely neglected our marriage by making it a trio instead of the duet it's supposed to be.
Your absolutely right, you have nothing to feel bad about! He on the other hand, not meaning for this to sound like I'm being "unfair" to your husband or anything, but you said, "Maybe I didn't keep the house clean enough or give him enough sex," even if he felt that way, that is NO EXCUSE to cheat on someone! I know nobody's perfect, and it's none of my business, but if that was his excuse for what he did, you would probably be better off without him! Remember, it may not seem like it right now, but all things get better in time. Whatever you decide to do in this situation, good luck and stay strong, and never forget, that this is not your fault!
I know

Columbia, KY

#11 Jun 29, 2009
The other woman blames the wife because she doesn't want to admit that she never should have participated in a relationship with a married man. Both the husband and the other woman are wrong, but it seems that the other woman always has some kind of beef with the wife. Why should the other woman hate the wife so much when she is the one that overstepped the boundaries? The wife has every right to hate the other woman. The wife has every right to hate the husband too, but sometimes that's easier said than done. They are really both to blame, but I truly can't understand why a woman would want to be with a married man. Even if the marriage ends and the affair continues, could you ever really trust each other? Like so many said before, if he did with you, he'll do it TO you.
Christ is the Answer

Elizabethtown, KY

#12 Jun 29, 2009
No matter who is at fault, it's a terrible, horrible situation to be in, and I feel for all involved. Christ is the ONLY TRUE FRIEND anyone has. Truly depend on Christ for all your needs, He is there for you!
What if you dont no

Hodgenville, KY

#13 Jun 30, 2009
I was with a married man. He didn't have his wedding ring on and he said he had been married but was divorced. I found out when his wife called me. I'm sorry but it was your husbands who took the vow not the other woman and some women just don't no. So before you go blaming the other woman it's not their fault or yours it's the husband who took his vows for better or for worse!!!!
ONLY 1

Elizabethtown, KY

#14 Jun 30, 2009
What if you dont no wrote:
I was with a married man. He didn't have his wedding ring on and he said he had been married but was divorced. I found out when his wife called me. I'm sorry but it was your husbands who took the vow not the other woman and some women just don't no. So before you go blaming the other woman it's not their fault or yours it's the husband who took his vows for better or for worse!!!!
That is true, I completely agree with you!
lil bumpkin

Elizabethtown, KY

#15 Jul 1, 2009
All of ya'll that say its all the mans fault are wrong. Its one thing if the other woman dont know about the wife but if she knows she is to blame as much or more than the husband. If you know the guy is married leave him alone. Just because he wants to do wrong and is after you it doesnt mean you have to take him up. Think about it. How would you like it if it was done to you? Just walk away from the situation. What do you have to lose?
move on

Elizabethtown, KY

#16 Jul 2, 2009
victim wrote:
So I've seen the topic about the "other woman" being blamed when a man cheats on his wife, but it seems to me that the wife is getting a lot of blame these days. I think it's trashy to say things like "if you were doing things right at home, he wouldn't have looked elsewhere." The truth of the matter is, if a man is going to cheat, there is no one to blame for that but him. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do to keep your man happy, he's just selfish enough to want more. I'm not saying that the other woman is not wrong too. Anyone who participates in an affair that potentially ruins lives and hurts people is wrong. What it all boils down to is a willingness to commit. People, men and women alike, go through stages. They might look back and think "is this really my life?" or "is this all I'm ever going to have?". It's all in how you deal with it. Some people make bad choices and stray from the marriage, while others take the high road and put their focus on making the most of what they have. I myself, have been a victim of infidelity, and I know that it's not my fault. The other woman is partly to blame, but I place most of the blame on my husband.
It really doesn't matter who is to blame. just don't blame yourself. If you know you did all you could to be a good wife and he still did it then you don't need him. For all the victims out there: YOU DESERVE BETTER. Let him go. He wasn't worth it anyway.
i know it hurts

Elizabethtown, KY

#17 Jul 3, 2009
Placing blame doesn't take the pain away. Just pick your head up, be strong, and move on. I know its easier said than done, but you will be ok. One day you will have the last laugh, because these things never last. A relationship that started with an affair will never be strong. There will always be trust issues and doubts. Every time they are not together they will wonder what the other is doing. If you are a good honest woman you deserve something better than a lying cheating man.
Algonquin

Aurora, CO

#18 Jul 24, 2009
Test
Patricia Renee

Aurora, CO

#19 Jul 24, 2009
I was the other woman. My cheating way was in no way a reflection on my husband nor my family or my children.
I cheated on all of them for one reason:
Anal sex.
I met a man who could tear up my Hershey Highway six weeks from Sunday and my entire family could not fit into the hole he created.
I have explored so many different experiences in my life, from the pyramids at Machu Pichu to sundown watching the Eiffel Tower. But when this ex-con plowed my back door with his muscled tattooed body, I just went on fire and said damn the incontinence later!
So I guess I don't mind the experience of cheating with Leroy on his prison bitch, Shaquanda, though she calls the house a lot and set fire to my poodle. Prison love is just that: outside love is from behind.
I can never love someone like Leroy without remembering the pain. In the End. And I was the other bitch, according to Shaquanda.
Tank

West Union, OH

#20 Jul 24, 2009
WELL HERE IS THE NEWS FOR YOU...IF YOU "DIDN'T KNOW" THEN IT APPEARS THAT YOU JUST SPREAD YOUR LEGS BEFORE YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM...H'MMMM. SORRY IF THE TRUTH HURTS..CHEATING IS WRONG REGARDLESS OF WHO, THERE IS NO GOOD REASON, LEAVE WHO YOU ARE WITH AND BE WITH WHO YOU WANT. PEOPLE ALWAYS THING THE GRASS ON THE OTHER SIDE IS BETTER, UNTIL THEY HAVE TO CUT IT!
What if you dont no wrote:
I was with a married man. He didn't have his wedding ring on and he said he had been married but was divorced. I found out when his wife called me. I'm sorry but it was your husbands who took the vow not the other woman and some women just don't no. So before you go blaming the other woman it's not their fault or yours it's the husband who took his vows for better or for worse!!!!
leroy

Elizabethtown, KY

#21 Jul 24, 2009
keep a man happy at home he has no reason to wonder keep a woman happy she has no reason to wonder when 1 is not happy they look for happiness

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