The Ten Most Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce

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1 - 20 of 33 Comments Last updated Mar 15, 2014
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Dadsdivorce

Saint Louis, MO

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#1
Jul 10, 2007
 
Please join us on August 14th at 6:30 for our seminar titled "The Ten Most Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce" being held at the Sheraton Overland Park Hotel at the Convention Center. Visit our website www.dadsdivorce.com for more details!

“Sugar Hill Gang Member”

Since: Dec 06

KC

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#2
Oct 24, 2007
 
Free of Charge. Being a Man of Divorce...

1. Anything you SAY and DO can be used against you
in divorce. So be mindful of what you say and do.

2. Have a separate checking/savings account. Make
new one if you have to.

3. Don't fight over possessions unless it was yours prior to getting married...even then...don't push it. Don't be petty.

4. Copy your lawyer on all correspondence. Paper trails = power.

5. If you have kids try your damndest to NOT fight
infront of them. This one is hard to do...

6. If you have the means, drag it out if she has very little money to have a long drawn out fight.
Unless your a total douche bag the one with the money tends to win the battle.

7. Speaking of douche bags, if you cheated, beat
and/or both...to your wife she deserves it all.
Be a man for once and let her have what ever she wants, then seek counseling.

8. Before filing for divorce make sure you've exhausted all options thru counseling, marriage counselors, therapy (single and couples), speak to your pastor together, do everything you can to make it work. ESPECIALLY if you have kids. Divorce sucks...and you WILL alter your childrens lives instantly...

9. When talking to your future ex-wife keep it
cordial and business like.

10. Finally, don't dwell on the past. Holding grudges is a complete waste of energy. Move on.

Since: Jul 07

Kansas

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#3
Oct 24, 2007
 

Judged:

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Great list, but I'd like to add:

11. Don't let the ex-wife keep the kids from you.
dlz

Lewiston, ID

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#4
Feb 25, 2008
 
Dadsdivorce wrote:
Please join us on August 14th at 6:30 for our seminar titled "The Ten Most Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce" being held at the Sheraton Overland Park Hotel at the Convention Center. Visit our website www.dadsdivorce.com for more details!
Don't take the position that if you are nice to her she will want to get back together.

Since: Feb 07

United States

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#5
Feb 26, 2008
 
PBI wrote:
Great list, but I'd like to add:
11. Don't let the ex-wife keep the kids from you.
i agree, but also do not take the kids solely to upset the wife. if you are going to spend quality time...then go for it.
concerned parent

United States

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#6
Mar 14, 2008
 
And if you did stupid shit while you were married, don't make your ex-wife sound like she is the bad one.....she knows ALL YOUR SECRETS!
Discrimination

United States

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#7
May 26, 2008
 
Please don't limit the lying, cheating, and beating to being done by men only. I know of an instance where the reverse is true. In my opinion, she should get the gallows!

Since: Feb 07

Kansas City, MO

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#8
May 27, 2008
 
meow.
treat your spouses/significant others the way you want to be treated and they may or may not reciprocate. it is the way the world is.
unhappy dad

United States

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#9
Aug 17, 2009
 
during an argument my wife huled off and hit me 3 times in the head - i am not one to hit a women because i know i could do some serious damage to her if i did that - she did this in front of my 11 year old daughter - she is harsh and deliberate with her - do i have a chance in court to get her from her mother? the mother is trying to get me to sell the house and our posetions before we file for a divorse
David

United States

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#10
Jan 9, 2010
 

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mother in laws are one of the chief reasons for divorce. Before getting married take an axe to the mother n law first. Save your marriage axe the mother n law.
David

United States

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#11
Jan 9, 2010
 
men may someday wake up and realize all that they are is a meal ticket for women. The women brag about what they get from their husbands by hook or crook.
Been and still am there

Louisville, KY

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#12
Mar 15, 2010
 
concerned parent wrote:
And if you did stupid **** while you were married, don't make your ex-wife sound like she is the bad one.....she knows ALL YOUR SECRETS!
That works both ways. In my case, her story has changed depending on whether she was talking to me, or one of my family/ friends, or (as far as I know) her family/friends. I was the villain either way of course, but they have (unofficially) heard a lot more about our problems and what they actually were than I have.
Lowglow

Centerview, MO

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#13
Mar 23, 2010
 
Well the first thing we Men need to remember is that Women are not Creatures of Logic, but base their though process on pure emotions.
For example, most of us Men take years to develop strong friendships with people, we have to know them and take our time, women on the other hand can met someone and 15 minutes later call the person they just met, their Best friend.

My advice is to never ever depend on a Woman and never give her to much attention or show her to much affection, because for some reason if you treat a woman to well, they learn to hate you and not respect you, this is why so many Women would die to stay with a mean man over a nice one.
AKerr

Golden, CO

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#14
Mar 24, 2010
 
Alright guys tell if I'm ok. My wife cheated on me back in 2006. I stayed because of the kids. But i have had suspicions. Anyway i got laid off and had to relocate to Denver for a job. The plan was for her and the kids to move out after I found a place. Well for our anniversary I bought her a laptop and bough a program to go on it that sends me copies of her emails, Facebook Chats, Passwords, usernames, etc. Anyway i have found nude pics that her and a couple of guys are sending each other. Tonight she was chatting on Facebook and admitted to a guy they she brought this other guy over to our house last weekend while the kids were on Spring break at my Mothers. The she is talking about in chats with two other guys about screwing them the next time she sees them. I'm just archiving these for when i get a lawyer. Is there anything else I need to do?
michelle jeffries

Ventnor City, NJ

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#15
Sep 20, 2010
 
it is always difficult to face a divorce...don't do it alone...check out http://www.dadsdivorce.com for resources and divorce advice for men to help ensure you a fair agreement.
Ron in Kansas

United States

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#16
May 25, 2011
 
MY wife left me, but remains civil, we both want a divorce, so whats the best path to take, lawyer or kit? I'm leaning toward kit.
A woman

United States

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#17
Jul 28, 2011
 

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AKerr wrote:
Alright guys tell if I'm ok. My wife cheated on me back in 2006. I stayed because of the kids. But i have had suspicions. Anyway i got laid off and had to relocate to Denver for a job. The plan was for her and the kids to move out after I found a place. Well for our anniversary I bought her a laptop and bough a program to go on it that sends me copies of her emails, Facebook Chats, Passwords, usernames, etc. Anyway i have found nude pics that her and a couple of guys are sending each other. Tonight she was chatting on Facebook and admitted to a guy they she brought this other guy over to our house last weekend while the kids were on Spring break at my Mothers. The she is talking about in chats with two other guys about screwing them the next time she sees them. I'm just archiving these for when i get a lawyer. Is there anything else I need to do?
What a sad situation. I am sorry. Please donít hurt or fight for your kids to get back at your wife. Someday they will be grown and will understand and judge both. Thatís the real finish line. For now, let them be kids. Keep them innocent, and let them feel joy.

Please donít let the lawyers push you into a fight. Remember, they can cash-in big, if you both fight, and they are good at playing both parties, then laugh all the way to the bank. Just be careful, and consider a mediator.

P.S. While the lawyers love listening to the dirt, while charging you by the hour, remember that in a no-fault divorce, it doesnít matter who did what.(sad but true)
TGL

Canada

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#18
Aug 2, 2011
 
AKerr wrote:
Alright guys tell if I'm ok. My wife cheated on me back in 2006. I stayed because of the kids. But i have had suspicions. Anyway i got laid off and had to relocate to Denver for a job. The plan was for her and the kids to move out after I found a place. Well for our anniversary I bought her a laptop and bough a program to go on it that sends me copies of her emails, Facebook Chats, Passwords, usernames, etc. Anyway i have found nude pics that her and a couple of guys are sending each other. Tonight she was chatting on Facebook and admitted to a guy they she brought this other guy over to our house last weekend while the kids were on Spring break at my Mothers. The she is talking about in chats with two other guys about screwing them the next time she sees them. I'm just archiving these for when i get a lawyer. Is there anything else I need to do?
your divorce is still proceeding i take it. please email me if you still need advice. i've been through something similar. tuan_lieu@hotmail.com
Nubienloc

Collinsville, IL

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#19
Sep 11, 2012
 
okay i have been separated for about 1yr now i have a 3yr old my wife first cheated rt before we got married but i overlooked it after being married for 6 yrs we had a son of which i find that after the fact she never wanted a child and has decided that she likes women. well we split ways but i keep hearing stories about her catching me w/ another woman me overdrawing our accounts her catching me in bed w/another woman etc. she brought another woman in our home of which at the time there was no "relationship" between her and this woman but she started sleeping w/ this woman and telling even more lies on me i have been a dayumn good husband to her and even better father. my son is w/me 80% of the time of which i dont complain because i know he has my influence but she seems to be caught up in this new "lifestyle" even her relatives have pushed me to get full custody but i would never take my son away from his mother it's not how I was raised but if she chooses not to be in his life there is nothing i can do. She would never give me sole custody becuase she worries about what others think. she doesnt want me to get a lawyer she wants to do this w/o lawyers but i feel that even @ that in Missouri i would be on the loosing end just because i am a man i just want the lawyer for my protection i dont want anyting from her juss my son.
Lost in sd

San Diego, CA

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#20
Oct 13, 2012
 
My wife and I are getting a devorce, we agree on everything except that she wants 100% physical custody. I want 50% she decided to keep time with her x high school boyfriend who is now married with 2 kids of his own. She is hiding this from me and doesn't know that I know, so obviously they are both hiding it. So when she's done with work she will sneak off to be with him leaving my kids with her mom. So I started to pick them up from her moms everyday after work so that they can be with at least one parent they are 3 and 5. She goes ballistic when I do this, so I usually call her after I have left to ask why she would get mad that I am picking them up, she would be a little more calm during this conversation nevertheless perty hostile. I have the stealth genie on my phone so that it tracks everything from location to calls and text, this is how I keep a journal that is printable. So I never contested the original devorce papers but now I see what is to come as most nights she won't come home till the kids are asleep from the ride home leaving me zero time with the boys. So I went to see if I could still contest this and I can. So someone told me that I should also submit an order to show cause as I soon will be moving out. My trouble with this is, the guy she is keeping time with we had to pull a restraining order on because he broke into the house and destroyed lots of stuff and threatened my wife back before we were married 12 years ago. So I think that if she comes to her ritght state of mind and decides to quit him, what's to say my children won't be in danger when this guy can't take no for an answer and goes crazy again. Also being told not to move out. So all of this happening in front of me and I am powerless to do anything.." any help please

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