do married men ever fall in love with the other woman after 6-7 years affair?

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just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#1
Sep 30, 2010
 

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Just asking for a friend because shes thinking of breaking it off........she started out with him not knowing and no strings attatched but now she doesent know whats up with him. You would think he would have left her alone a few years ago but he keeps coming around her as if she is his long term girlfriend or something. Only want points of view not cursing this girl as she is a nice, smart , very beautiful young girl, he is much older than her. She found out he has kids and is divorced but lives with his wife and so he can raise his children he says. She does not intend to hurt them and has never told him she loves him and he hasnt her either but why keep coming around her all these years? He acts like she is his and he doesnt want anyone else to be with her and hes not interested in any other women either. She was happy with their friendship and the sex was amazing but now she can stay away for months and come into town and there he is waiting for her like a husband waiting on her to come home. lol what is the deal do u guys think?
Counsil

Lawrenceburg, KY

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#2
Sep 30, 2010
 

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My theory is that he just knows he has a nice young piece of tail and wants to keep it that way.

That being said, yes he could have genuine feelings for her, but my money is on no.

As far as she goes, if she has feelings for him then she may be setting herself up for pain.

Here is where I deviate from what you'd expect...if it's truly NSA, and it's just a sexually based relationship then more power to them. Just know this: someone is gonna get hurt in the end. Affairs get discovered, feelings may come into play.

Know what you're getting into with eyes wide open. Don't kid yourself into something else.
just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#3
Sep 30, 2010
 
How can she tell if his feelings are coming into play if he doesnt just come straight out and say I love you? BTW, thanks for responding the way you did.
Counsil

Lawrenceburg, KY

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#4
Sep 30, 2010
 
Well that's the problem...he doesn't feel obligation to say them because he either a) doesn't have them, or b) is afraid that if he admits he has feelings she'll be pushed away because it's supposed to be NSA.

She needs to realize she is the other woman. She's not the main woman. If she is fine in this role, then why question if he has feelings? I'm thinking she is no longer happy being in the shadows. And if she persues it, she needs to realize she may be pushed out all together.

Yes that was potentially both sides of the situation.

And you're welcome. It's not my or anyone else's place to judge anyone for any reason. I simply addressed the situation you mentioned. Regardless, I wish your friend happiness. But I will say this...how happy can one be hiding? Which is in a way what she is doing.
The Truth Hurts

United States

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#5
Sep 30, 2010
 
Yes married men have a affairs, but statistically they will almost NEVER actually leave their wives for the so called "other woman"
sosad

Lawrenceburg, KY

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#6
Sep 30, 2010
 

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Yeah, it's gonna hurt when she breaks it off with him, but she's young and needs to start a life of her own. She's just his play toy. Wasted years of youth, don't waste no more!
Run

Lexington, KY

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#7
Sep 30, 2010
 
Get away from him. You will pay dearly. Run
Aaron

Ann Arbor, MI

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#8
Oct 1, 2010
 

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RUN, RUN, RUN!! Your damaging yourself emotionally so you will not be able to have a real relationship later in life! He is not going to leave his wife because he doesn't want to deal with child support lawyer expenses etc. You will spread your legs for him when he wants so why in the world would he mess up what he's got. He has his cake and can eat it too. Your young and attractive, of course he wants you!
Why is it HIS fault for coming around. Can't you take control of your life and make the call to be DONE with him?
Counsil

Lawrenceburg, KY

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#9
Oct 1, 2010
 

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I think the young lady in question asked for advice on a situation, not people to speak down to her. Then again, most people around here feel they speak with some authority when in all actuality their words do nothing.
Wild

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#10
Oct 2, 2010
 

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The way he sees it is why buy the cow if hes getting the milk for free.In other words hes not looking for love only what he gets from her.
You probly know me

Lexington, KY

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#11
Oct 2, 2010
 
Wild wrote:
The way he sees it is why buy the cow if hes getting the milk for free.In other words hes not looking for love only what he gets from her.
I was in a relationship like this for 3 yrs. except we told each other every now and again that we loved each other. Just about aweek ago he told me was still in love with the ex wife and he is trying to make it work . So please tell ur friend to do alittle talking it will come out if he is really after her or what is between her legs. In my case it was the between the legs.:(
just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#12
Oct 2, 2010
 
Ok yea , I agree with most of what you guys are saying and usually it's most likely right on the mark except for the spreading her legs any time he wants because I saw her today and was talking with her and here are some things we talked about..... they have been hmmmm what word ummm "seeing" each other I guess for lack of better words 7 years and they have only been sexual for almost 2 years. The years before that were seeing each other almost daily and just talking, laughing , flirting , and she says he is a really good guy and like I said she is a knockout but she doesnt act like it if you know what I mean lol....most guys would kill to be with her but she pays no attention and would do anything for ANYONE , very easy going, easy to get along with ALWAYS and lives a really great life of her own.She said that if you met him, he is a very quiet, laid back , keeps to himself , type person. And my opinion, she is too. I dont know if you guys are into astrology but I found out they are both cancers if that means anything lol. Anyway im not for SURE if she loves him but I do think she wants to continue being friends as she has learned enough of him to know she likes him as a man and how he is. But she does not consider herself as the other or main woman its just something she said she doesnt know or couldnt explain anyway with them. She says they can talk about ANYTHING and I think its true because they know all about each other. And they can see each other coming for 20 miles and both are for no reason and cant help smiling when they pass. I mentioned him and she smiled, its sweet kinda because she said she would do anything for him if he really needed it and no not sexually. She does not want or even expect him to leave his family and she doesnt know the wife or kids but knows who they are and does not want to hurt them or him either EVER..... Im not sure what answer i need really but she is a great girl and yes i want to look out for her so i guess im kind of taking things we talk about and asking on here for some feedback that maybe im missing or have missed that maybe some of you can see or relate to idk. I do know that she is always happy as usual. But she said she seen "talked" no sex, to him this week after a long time not seeing him and he was really sad, down, and depressed acting because she hadnt been around so long. I think its a little weird that he stuck around for so long with no sex for so many years first of all because most i would think would think she was a tease "with her good looks" after so long and find something "easier" in my opinion. And i also think 7 years is a long time even for some marriages lol sad to say these days. She said that sometimes when they are just sitting talking about everyday crap, that when she looks back at him to say something or whatever, he is just staring at her like in a daze or something and she laughed about it. It seems like they are both not the "typical" type folks i would ever think would be in a "relationship" like this and she hasnt ever and said never thought she would be with a guy even remotely involved with someone yet she doesnt know how but here she is. But it seems that they have found each other however and got to know one another inside out through the long period of years before sex and now they just seem to be happy and genuinly content with who the other is and neither are even remotely looking at anyone else. Its very intriguing to me how they seem to have been "together so long, understand each other so well, and evidently to me are no strings attatched , yet they seemingly fit like a glove together and both make the other happy and smile "as long as he doesnt think shes left him forever" as he gets really down in the dumps. Im very sorry for rambling on for so long but this isnt something written from the top of my head and im just trying to throw things in that come to mind from our conversations as i think of them so bare with me please.....
just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#13
Oct 2, 2010
 
I just really want to be able to wrap my head around this "relationship" and whats going on here and also what maybe you can figure is going on in his mind and/or heart if anything and if you guys dont mind, i will continue talking with her and update you of new info that may be of some insight. Thanks in advance for listening!!
just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#14
Oct 2, 2010
 
ONE more thing for the record.........the ages may help also so he is in his 50's and she is very early 30's
just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#15
Oct 2, 2010
 
very sorry for so much babbling but while im here if anyone can think of some things that i need to be asking her, please let me know. thanks and ill go now lol..............
cry

United States

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#16
Oct 2, 2010
 

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Go cry about it then go bang his bro
just asking

Harrodsburg, KY

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#17
Oct 5, 2010
 
cry wrote:
Go cry about it then go bang his bro
WOW you were such amazing help cry!!! lmao at such a lame exuse for a comment. Im married myself happilly and im just trying to get common sense, sane folks to talk to=) if your a guy, then maybe you have an intelligent male friend who could talk with me seriously. But hey , your a roller, as in your comments roll right off of me lol......... the other folks on here are awesome tho and i appreciate them for being that way=) GOOD DAY!!!!
crutch

Olive Hill, KY

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#18
Oct 5, 2010
 

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he is using your "friend" as a crutch. anytime he is depressed he wants to see her, he needs her affection and attention when things are tough at home. he doesn't love her or he would have definitely left for her afterall, you said he was divorced already. he may care for her or wish things were different but in the end he is selfish and she is just wasting her time fooling with him...be a REAL friend and encourage her to move on and leave this clown behind.
think

Lexington, KY

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#19
Oct 5, 2010
 

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He is a cheater.He goes home and eats supper with his wife.
He sleeps with his wife and where r u?
2cents

Lawrenceburg, KY

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#20
Oct 5, 2010
 

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He is a low down dirty cheater and if your friend is attracted to that then that doesnt say much for her. Fact is that he has a wife and children at home that would hurt in ways undescribable to find this out. Anyone that would knowingly make decisions like that is trash in my book. When people take their wedding vows they seem to lay them aside so easily. I've been the wife at home caring for the babies and I can tell you that nothing has ever hurt me like that in my life. Praying for the family at home!

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