Newborn left on porch in frigid temps

There are 15 comments on the Jan 21, 2009, WISH-TV 8 Indiana News story titled Newborn left on porch in frigid temps. In it, WISH-TV 8 Indiana News reports that:

Police are looking for the mother of an abandoned infant found in a shoe box on the porch of a home in Lawrence.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at WISH-TV 8 Indiana News.

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Amerie

Pryor, OK

#27 Jan 22, 2009
Shaking my head wrote:
<quoted text>Your right. I don't have to worry about that because I do my job as a parent. I know where my daughter is and what she is doing at all times. She is 16 years old. Yes she has a boyfriend but she has yet to be on a date alone. There is always a parent or trusted adult present. This attitude people seem to have that says "its going to happen anyway so you might as well give them birth control" is nothing more than an excuse from a lazy worthless parent that's not willing to do their job.
let me tell you something you can do your job all you want but there are somethings that you cannot control.ANd when your daughter gets ready to have sex she is going to do it whether you approve or not.You cannot keep your eye on your daughter 24-7.And keeping her on lock down is just making her naive.....These are the girls that men prey on.You cant protect her forever she has to leave your house oneday.And whether you like it or not she is going to have sex oneday if she hasnt already.Dont you want her to know how to protect herself from STD's and pregnancy.

You said that your daughter and her boyfriens always have an adult with them.Well if you RAISED your daughter right .then what are you afraid of.Do you think she is going to have sex if you or another adult is not present.It sounds like you dont trust your daughter .
Old Lady

Indianapolis, IN

#28 Jan 22, 2009
Shaking my head wrote:
<quoted text>Your right. I don't have to worry about that because I do my job as a parent. I know where my daughter is and what she is doing at all times. She is 16 years old. Yes she has a boyfriend but she has yet to be on a date alone. There is always a parent or trusted adult present. This attitude people seem to have that says "its going to happen anyway so you might as well give them birth control" is nothing more than an excuse from a lazy worthless parent that's not willing to do their job.
That's what my mom said, but guess what?, she was wrong....That's what I said and I was wrong too...and sad to say, so are you. You and no one else, can watch your child 24/7. I don't agree with giving you child (male or female) a green flag to go throw their bodies/temples to the streets, but I do hope you have God given compassion and love in your heart to deal with any problem your daughter brings you. Otherwise, her fear may cause her to do something just like this young lady did, or as many teens are doing today...something worse where the next time you see her is on a slab in the mortuary.
Amerie

Pryor, OK

#29 Jan 22, 2009
Old Lady wrote:
<quoted text>
That's what my mom said, but guess what?, she was wrong....That's what I said and I was wrong too...and sad to say, so are you. You and no one else, can watch your child 24/7. I don't agree with giving you child (male or female) a green flag to go throw their bodies/temples to the streets, but I do hope you have God given compassion and love in your heart to deal with any problem your daughter brings you. Otherwise, her fear may cause her to do something just like this young lady did, or as many teens are doing today...something worse where the next time you see her is on a slab in the mortuary.
Thank you this was the point that I was making.. Im not saying you should give your children the green light to have sex.BUT if they come to you and say they are ready to have sex I think you should try and talk to them out of it and make sure that they know how to protect themselves form pregancy and stds and give them the necessary tools to do that
Shaking my head

Indianapolis, IN

#30 Jan 22, 2009
Old Lady wrote:
<quoted text>
That's what my mom said, but guess what?, she was wrong....That's what I said and I was wrong too...and sad to say, so are you. You and no one else, can watch your child 24/7. I don't agree with giving you child (male or female) a green flag to go throw their bodies/temples to the streets, but I do hope you have God given compassion and love in your heart to deal with any problem your daughter brings you. Otherwise, her fear may cause her to do something just like this young lady did, or as many teens are doing today...something worse where the next time you see her is on a slab in the mortuary.
Sorry, but you and your mother were wrong because neither of you did your JOBS as a parent. Despite your weakness or laziness, it IS possible to be in complete control of your kids 24/7. I know because I do it. I never said it was easy. I show my love and compassion for my kids every day by being diligent in my job as a parent.
Shaking my head

Indianapolis, IN

#31 Jan 22, 2009
Amerie wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you this was the point that I was making.. Im not saying you should give your children the green light to have sex.BUT if they come to you and say they are ready to have sex I think you should try and talk to them out of it and make sure that they know how to protect themselves form pregancy and stds and give them the necessary tools to do that
You are pathetic. If my daughter came to me with a line like that she would be locked in her room till she was at least 18...literally. Anyone who says it is impossible to control their own children is just weak. What if they came to you and said they were ready to start burglarizing homes, are you going to make sure they know how to keep from getting caught?(After you try to "talk them out of it" of course)
Shaking my head

Indianapolis, IN

#32 Jan 22, 2009
Amerie wrote:
<quoted text>
let me tell you something you can do your job all you want but there are somethings that you cannot control.ANd when your daughter gets ready to have sex she is going to do it whether you approve or not.You cannot keep your eye on your daughter 24-7.And keeping her on lock down is just making her naive.....These are the girls that men prey on.You cant protect her forever she has to leave your house oneday.And whether you like it or not she is going to have sex oneday if she hasnt already.Dont you want her to know how to protect herself from STD's and pregnancy.
You said that your daughter and her boyfriens always have an adult with them.Well if you RAISED your daughter right .then what are you afraid of.Do you think she is going to have sex if you or another adult is not present.It sounds like you dont trust your daughter .
You may be too weak to control your children, but I'm not. I never said that my kids have not been provided with the knowledge they need in these matters. And no, I can't protect them forever, but if they decide to live against my rules after they turn 18, they will be on their own and they know it. Of course I don't trust my daughter or her boyfriend when it comes to sex, they are TEENAGERS! It's my JOB not to trust them.
Old Lady

Indianapolis, IN

#33 Jan 22, 2009
Shaking my head wrote:
<quoted text>You may be too weak to control your children, but I'm not. I never said that my kids have not been provided with the knowledge they need in these matters. And no, I can't protect them forever, but if they decide to live against my rules after they turn 18, they will be on their own and they know it. Of course I don't trust my daughter or her boyfriend when it comes to sex, they are TEENAGERS! It's my JOB not to trust them.
I cannot judge you and what you believe to be true. I pray you continue to do the best YOU can as a parent and prayfully allow your child to grow with positive guidance and live the life God has planned for her, not what you have planned for her. That's really all any parent can do. We parents can plant seeds of values everyday and just because they reach the legal age of 18 does not mean they will be following 100% those values.

Right now your words sound more millitant than loving and I don't think that harshness is really what you mean. I hope there will one day be a trust between you and your daughter and if not, I hope you learn a different kind of love that surpasses all (mis-)understandings. I believe this is really what you personally want too.

Your job is to protect your child, teach your child and love your child, but don't make her fear or resent you because then YOU will cause her to sin. She needs you in good and bad times. The way you sound you would only love her if she does good. If you love her only when times are good and are ready to put her out when the times are bad, then something is very wrong somewhere. Be disappointed, be upset, but don't be mean and cruel. Believe me, the pain you would both suffer would be everlasting.


Blessings to you and your family. I'm going home to mine. Not a perfect home, but a God loving compassionate home who strives to live as we should.
Shaking my head

Indianapolis, IN

#34 Jan 22, 2009
Old Lady wrote:
<quoted text>
I cannot judge you and what you believe to be true. I pray you continue to do the best YOU can as a parent and prayfully allow your child to grow with positive guidance and live the life God has planned for her, not what you have planned for her. That's really all any parent can do. We parents can plant seeds of values everyday and just because they reach the legal age of 18 does not mean they will be following 100% those values.
Right now your words sound more millitant than loving and I don't think that harshness is really what you mean. I hope there will one day be a trust between you and your daughter and if not, I hope you learn a different kind of love that surpasses all (mis-)understandings. I believe this is really what you personally want too.
Your job is to protect your child, teach your child and love your child, but don't make her fear or resent you because then YOU will cause her to sin. She needs you in good and bad times. The way you sound you would only love her if she does good. If you love her only when times are good and are ready to put her out when the times are bad, then something is very wrong somewhere. Be disappointed, be upset, but don't be mean and cruel. Believe me, the pain you would both suffer would be everlasting.
Blessings to you and your family. I'm going home to mine. Not a perfect home, but a God loving compassionate home who strives to live as we should.
First of all, I wish to thank you for your kind words. I sincerely hope you have not taken any of my comments to mean that I wish you any ill will. However, the fact is that my strict control of my children that you may perceive as "militant", is actually what truly proves that I have love and compassion for my children. Children SHOULD fear their parents when it comes to discipline. Being a parent is not about being their friend. Of course I will always be there for my children. But as long as I continue to do my job, my children will not need to come to me about a sexual situation because it will not happen. No parent can be 100% sure what their children will do once they are out of our control. However, if they are of legal age and choose to do otherwise, I will know that it will not be due to lack of parenting on my part. At that point, their decision to live by their own rules will also be their decision to live by their own means. If I allowed them to do otherwise, then I would be enabling their poor decisions. Doing so would not be saying that I no longer love them, in fact it would be quite the opposite. My father raised me the same way. Naturally, I had some resentment as a teenager. Kids aren't supposed to be able to understand such things. This understanding comes with maturity. The more I matured, the more I understood. As far as trust is concerned, I was in my thirties before my father fully trusted me. I'm not talking about the kind of trust you might have in someone to help fix your car. I'm talking about the kind of trust you would have in someone to make decisions about your family should you not be able to.
Amerie

Pryor, OK

#35 Jan 23, 2009
Shaking my head wrote:
<quoted text>You are pathetic. If my daughter came to me with a line like that she would be locked in her room till she was at least 18...literally. Anyone who says it is impossible to control their own children is just weak. What if they came to you and said they were ready to start burglarizing homes, are you going to make sure they know how to keep from getting caught?(After you try to "talk them out of it" of course)
well you dont have to worry about that because I am sure that your daughter is doing it behind your back anyway .She is probaly doing all type of stuff that you dont know about and Im not just talking about sex.You dont seem like the type of parent that your child can go to for advice. I feel sorry for your daughter and I will leave it at that.
Shaking my head

Indianapolis, IN

#36 Jan 23, 2009
Amerie wrote:
<quoted text>
well you dont have to worry about that because I am sure that your daughter is doing it behind your back anyway .She is probaly doing all type of stuff that you dont know about and Im not just talking about sex.You dont seem like the type of parent that your child can go to for advice. I feel sorry for your daughter and I will leave it at that.
Look...I can tell this is beyond your understanding but there is no "behind my back" when it comes to my kids. You seem to think it is impossible for a parent to have total control over a child. That is what is truly sad for any children you may have. There has never been a single moment in the lives of my children that I did not know where they were, what kids they were with, and what adults were supervising them. You can't accept that because you obviously don't have what it takes to do it yourself. My children rarely need to come to me for advice because I am already aware of most situations they are going to be in ahead of time. Anything that needs to be discussed is taken care of BEFORE it happens instead of after. Your assumptions that most kids are doing stuff behind their parents backs is unfortunately very true. But the blame for that falls squarely on the parents for not doing their job.
Agnes

Indianapolis, IN

#37 Jan 23, 2009
Amerie wrote:
<quoted text>
Well there are a lot of children who cannot talk openly about sex with their parents...Some parents are stuck in the 50's and would flip their lid if their child asked for condoms or birth control
"IF THEY CAN'T TALK TO THEIR PARENTS" There are other's to talk to: teachers,clergy, other adult family member, family friend, etc. There are alway options; as TEENAGERS they don't always think things through.
fast turtle

Atlanta, IN

#38 Jan 23, 2009
>>>>>But as long as I continue to do my job, my children will not need to come to me about a sexual situation because it will not happen.<<<<<

Amerie - shaking head - old lady. You all have valid points and sound like dedicated parents.

Shaking head - at this point, you do sound more millitant than loving. Maybe you haven't weathered any storms with your teen(s)yet.

As a parent of teenagers and young adults, I can tell you there is NO WAY you can possibly know who your kids are with, what they're doing, who is supervising them 24 hours a day, how responsible those supervising really are .... and what situations they'll be faced with beforehand. You may think you do - and as a responsible parent, you may make an honest effort to do so, and you can try to teach them the correct response to any given situation - but if they have any of your DNA - they're smart and think for themselves (might even be brave or bold eough to think you're an old geezer and don't know squat) and try to problem solve how they can have fun with life and their peers, and avoid conflict with figures of authority. Sometimes they're successful ..... most of the time they're not because they're a chip off the ol' block - and now you're observant. Were you a saint at their age, really ?

You can boast all you want - but ten or 15 years from now you'll begin to hear some of their stories. You'll might be surprised or even shocked - think about the words coming from their mouths and may even rebuttal them by saying 'that's impossible .... where was I ?' And, they'll tell you exactly where you were and what you were doing. It's part of the growth process in their reaching adulthood. Let me add - the crow you eat won't taste like chicken. It has more of a humbling taste to it.

As for your, control .... one of my children's friends told me and their father how parents really couldn't have control over there kids. Our response was,'oh yeah ? ha - watch us.' We were strict parents - had rules, taught our children right from wrong,prepared them for the appropriate responses to temptation, and thought we knew 99.999 percent what was going on in their lives. That was not the control ... they still had the choice whether to follow those rules and do the right thing --- it's when they do mess up - your authority is the control. You hold them accountable for their actions. But, at the same time - they shouldn't be so afraid of you that they won't come to you when they do mess up.
Shaking my head

Indianapolis, IN

#39 Jan 23, 2009
You people are just pathetic. You're all sitting around waiting for your kids to screw up so you can show your "compassion" and "talk" to them about it. I on the other hand, despite all your disbelief, actually do what it takes to prevent it from happening in the first place. You people are so afraid of being a parent that you have to call me "militant" in order to attempt to justify your weakness. If you can't handle it, well that's your problem. I'm not going to let the opinions of those who would provide birth control before they would control their children have any bearing on my decisions about raising my kids.
fast turtle

Atlanta, IN

#40 Jan 23, 2009
LOL - shaking head - do your best with your prevention techniques and control - live, boast, rate other parents whose efforts are unlike yours as 'just pathetic' and learn from the mistakes made when you discover your method isn't 100 percent full proof either .. let us know your preference for crow - baked, bar-b-qued, fried, broiled, or boiled - and how it tastes. I mean you no ill will. You are right - there are parents who don't care and aren't accountable to how their children turn out and make excuses for bad or wrong behavior. You really do sound like a devoted parent. My and my spouses approach wasn't like yours - still our young adult children are all productive, working, married, in college - doing well - call and comes home on a regular basis. Our teenagers seem to be heading in that direction as well.
Shaking my head

Greens Fork, IN

#41 Jan 23, 2009
fast turtle wrote:
LOL - shaking head - do your best with your prevention techniques and control - live, boast, rate other parents whose efforts are unlike yours as 'just pathetic' and learn from the mistakes made when you discover your method isn't 100 percent full proof either .. let us know your preference for crow - baked, bar-b-qued, fried, broiled, or boiled - and how it tastes. I mean you no ill will. You are right - there are parents who don't care and aren't accountable to how their children turn out and make excuses for bad or wrong behavior. You really do sound like a devoted parent. My and my spouses approach wasn't like yours - still our young adult children are all productive, working, married, in college - doing well - call and comes home on a regular basis. Our teenagers seem to be heading in that direction as well.
I don't eat crow. I shoot them if they get in my way.

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