Working Q&A: Facebook no place for friendly boss

Tapping area experts for insight on workplace issues. Q: My boss just friended me on Facebook.

[NoDoubt]

Repeat after me; my employeer is not my friend, it is a job. Enough said.

[Mrs R]

Facebook and the Internet in general should just be banned altogether as far as I'm concerned. The internet is nothing but right-wing politics and sexual predators. Ever see "To Catch A Predator" on tv? People who use computers to talk to other people are usually dangerous. The internet needs to at least be highly regulated, if not shut down completely because of all the dangers.

[WTF]

I want some of what Mrs R is smoking. REgulate the Internet? Thank God for the first amendment.

[Noisy and Bossy]

The supervisor is being inappropriate and perhaps a human resource intervention is warranted. Just because the job market is tight doesn't mean that employees are indentured servants.

I'd tell that noisy s.o.b. HELL NO!

[justme]

no way! that's just another way for your boss to spy on you. bosses are for only in the workplace - not a good idea to let them into your private time. you deal with work crap long enough each and every day.

[TwoCents]

Mrs R wrote:

Facebook and the Internet in general should just be banned altogether as far as I'm concerned. The internet is nothing but right-wing politics and sexual predators. Ever see "To Catch A Predator" on tv? People who use computers to talk to other people are usually dangerous. The internet needs to at least be highly regulated, if not shut down completely because of all the dangers.

Perhaps you should move to China or North Korea where the internet is run exactly the way you like it to be run.

[Kate Chicagoland]

hopefully the letter-writer has not friended other co-workers, or the excuse about keeping the personal and professional lives separate would be a flop

[Gregg D]

To have someone even ask the question whether they should befriend their boss just goes to show the amount of brown nosing that has to be done to management to keep your job. It's not what you know, it's who you ****. Yes you should be their friend on Facebook. Why don't you mow their lawn and wash their car while you're at it.

[somewhere in the middle]

TwoCents wrote:

<quoted text> Perhaps you should move to China or North Korea where the internet is run exactly the way you like it to be run.

Not to get too far off-topic, but now we've got the two extremes defined. The solution - as with all free-speech issues - is somewhere in the middle. Since the First Ammendment was followed by several others that sometimes find themselves in overlap and conflict.

For some reason, it seems to be assumed that the Ammendments follow a hierarchy in the order they were ratified - with the First being thought of as somehow more binding and always superceding the others. It doesn't - it must cooperate with them. Just as in real life citizens must cooperate with each other in their exercise of the Constitution including the Ammendments.

As for the internet - let's call a spade a spade - it IS a cesspool. With all manner of perversion avaiable at our fingertips as well as useful, constructive and society-enriching information. And none of it is hidden behind difficult-to-cross barriers.

It's interesting to me how the mantra "protect the children" is shouted from the rooftops, right up until the time that any sort of gate - and I mean ANY sort of gate - on the information superhighway is suggested.

[TiVo Girl]

Maybe this boss didn't even know about LinkedIn. I didn't know about it myself until my husband was recently laid off. What the worker should do is exactly what the article states: tell the boss about the alternative.

However, that being said, people are really stupid when it comes to any networking site, be it professional or social, especially the younger they are.

1). Do NOT use expletives (especially the "F" bomb) in your posts. Apparently most people do not know what the www. stands for. You want everyone on the *World Wide Web*(emphasis on World Wide) to know what an idiot you are?

2). Do NOT brag about your illicit activities. They can come back to haunt you, and are used against you by law enforcement officials (what's posted on Facebook stays on Facebook, just like Vegas, baby.)

3). Do NOT post incriminating photos of yourself on Facebook (see #2 above).

4). DO set your privacy and security settings as high as possible to protect yourself and your family (NEVER post information on the internet that can lead anyone to a child, such as their name, school, city, etc..)

Done correctly (Mrs. R., you nutjob) the internet can be a safe place for all of us.

[TAC]

I agree with TiVo Girl and "somewhere in the middle", used correctly the internet is a great place to learn and be creative (as we are doing by responding to this article and reading the paper) but if it is abused, then the only one to blame is yourself.

[TAC]

Oh yeah, I would not have my boss be my friend on Facebook. Linkedin is a better option.

[Chris]

hopefully the letter-writer has not friended other co-workers, or the excuse about keeping the personal and professional lives separate would be a flop

Doesn't matter
There is a big difference between the type of relationships that are appropriate between co-worker and between coworkers/bosses

It also could be possible the boss just friended everyone in his email contacts, otherwise he is a LOSER

[mar]

i have two facebook's one for people at work and one for my personal friends...

i dont go on much on my work facebook, cuz its all people from work. but my boss added me and i added him , i only have one picture on it, and if someone from work sends me an invitation on my personal i quicky send them the invitation from my work fb.

and tell them its more organized that way he he he

work shou;ldnt mix with personal

[Mrs R]

Scratch my former posting.

This afternoon I think I met the man of my dreams on eHarmony.com !

He says he's good looking, rich, and drives a nice car.

He told me he lost his wallet and asked me to send him some money to come visit me. Unfortunately I spend all my money on my cats and their whimsical needs. Too bad really...

[Jerami]

Mrs R wrote:

Scratch my former posting.
This afternoon I think I met the man of my dreams on eHarmony.com !
He says he's good looking, rich, and drives a nice car.
He told me he lost his wallet and asked me to send him some money to come visit me. Unfortunately I spend all my money on my cats and their whimsical needs. Too bad really...

The world cannot protect stupid...nor should it try.

[Anywho]

Mrs R wrote:

Facebook and the Internet in general should just be banned altogether as far as I'm concerned. The internet is nothing but right-wing politics and sexual predators. Ever see "To Catch A Predator" on tv? People who use computers to talk to other people are usually dangerous. The internet needs to at least be highly regulated, if not shut down completely because of all the dangers.

so why are you on it posting crap!!!

[Rundy]

mar wrote:

i have two facebook's one for people at work and one for my personal friends...
i dont go on much on my work facebook, cuz its all people from work. but my boss added me and i added him , i only have one picture on it, and if someone from work sends me an invitation on my personal i quicky send them the invitation from my work fb.
and tell them its more organized that way he he he
work shou;ldnt mix with personal

As I understand it, what you are doing technically violates the terms of service of Facebook. I wanted to do something very similar and found the solution was to create a page (like the fan pages celebrities have) for my work "account" and keep my normal personal account.

[gtVoyageur]

Bosses should not be posting Facebook 'friends' listings with any employees or co-workers. What happens on the job should stay there without the whole world knowing.

It's sounds like a human resources problem is in the works and a possible lawsuit[if it continues and were me] would be in order. A boss is only a personal friend when he/she no longer works together and mutually agree to such.

The Internet should be for communication and discourse not very personal life issues to be seen and read by millions. This boss should know better.

If I was this guy's boss, I would only give him one stern warning to cease and desist such actions. If he disagreed and continued he would be fired for cause. Unethical behavior should not be tolerated in the workplace!

[jack0451]

Personally, I really don't care who sees my Facebook page (as long as I know them of course). I have my boss, co-workers and family members listed as my friends. I have nothing to hide from anyone. I'm NOT the type of person who posts illegal activities(pictures, sayings, ect). I just post news articles.