Rules for YANKEES

[BELMONT TOPICS]

If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules:
1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.
3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color don't wash your car for a couple weeks ---it'll be permanent.
4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.
8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a lot of water.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red.
We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast).
We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights.
We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
14. We don't do "hurry up" well.
15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.
16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 85 goes two ways - Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.
18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want cream of wheat- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.
19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators -and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.
23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature – all four of them --enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner
25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great up there, why not visit a Northern state or stay there. And no, down here, we don't have an accent, you do.

[Toosense]

Is this really the way MOST southerners feel about visitors? How sad.=(

[-Dinosaur-]

Not all visitors - just the ones that complain about the Southern lifestyle.

I love you, you love me,
We're a happy family..........

[Orange Bard]

Its not sad Toosense.

Its a culture. One we like. I think its sad being the opposite. Not having a culture to identify with, being lost in the world.

That is sad.

[I hear ya]

Said it just like the great Hank Williams Jr.!

[Glam Dicenn]

BELMONT TOPICS wrote:

If you are going to live or visit in the South, you need to know these rules:
1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it or get the hell out of the way.
3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color don't wash your car for a couple weeks ---it'll be permanent.
4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.

Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for -- bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.
8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
9. Tea - yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and is sweet. You want it hot -- sit it in the sun. You want it unsweetened -- add a lot of water.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red.
We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat (yeah, even breakfast).
We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and we go to high school football games on Friday nights.
We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.
14. We don't do "hurry up" well.
15. Greens - yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a ham hock.
16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 85 goes two ways - Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.
18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want cream of wheat- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 west.
19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.
20. So every person in every pickup waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?
21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators -and if you hit it in the rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.
22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot -- his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.
23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature – all four of them --enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner
25. No, we don't care how you do things up North. If it is so great up there, why not visit a Northern state or stay there. And no, down here, we don't have an accent, you do.

This is what we now call Southern hospitality and say the Yankees have no manners. Ironic isn't. Shame on you!

[David Ferrand]

Orange Bard wrote:

Its not sad Toosense.
Its a culture. One we like. I think its sad being the opposite. Not having a culture to identify with, being lost in the world.
That is sad.

There's definitely an identifiable culture up north, and don't you think otherwise. It's just a little more fractured and regionalized than that of the greater South, but there none-the-less...the NYC/TriState area, Boston, Maine, Upstate NY, Pittsburgh/Western PA, Ohio...all of these areas have unique social/cultural elements. I tend to get in a conversation about it whenever I meet another former Yank down in these parts (and you know there are a lot of them...)

[Toosense]

I am not "Southern", nor am I "Lost in the world". I think people live a full life by experiencing other cultures, visiting new places, meeting new friends, and by accepting diversity.
That is just me though.
Being from California, I have had "Southerners" make fun of the way that I talk, have NEVER known anyone that would burn the American flag, agree people should "pull their pants up", know all about "Red clay", do not drive a Navigator, and give much respect to "The South".
I also disagree with the statement "Yankees have no manners". I have never read a list of "Rules for Rednecks", written by a "Yankee" (although Im sure some idiot wrote one). The South is a beautiful place to visit and I just don't think this list does it justice, and makes you all sound a little mean.

[Orange Bard]

Mean? we are defensive due to others being "mean". The South has long been the whipping boy in this country for most things.

The "Yankee" culture is non-existent. It is identifiable as the Pilgrim Culture, but has long since been diluted with immigration well over a century ago. The other "cultures" are simply old world cultures transplanted, not American.

Other than that, the rest of this country is merely a family offshoot of the South.

And yes, if a person has no history, no culture, then they are rootless and cheat themselves of the benefits. Men march to wars not for self but for country, "culture".

It is why the "American" culture is primarily a Southern Culture. Pioneers?

Its a form of Nationalism and no other American region has a strong and identifiable culture as the South.

Its important right now as we have seen with the current problems this country has in its social fabric and its economy.

[Orange Bard]

But what we call a Yankee is still anyone from up North but primarily centered on the Greater New York area.

And what they call culture, we say is not of culture. They call culture, "industrialization".

Rudeness? talk too loud and too much, as a self-involved child.

Lack of respect? see above.

Money-centered Existence? This is the big one. The one that radiates so many other little instances of offensiveness to the Southerner.

and so many other little annoying things which makes the whole experience of life nerve wracking.

When People speak of us they talk about our backwardness? Exactly, its called respect to the past and our ancestors. And that is why the South is the anchor for the rest of the country.

And culture is important to this country right now as we have seen. Culture is the abstract thing that ties us so tightly together as a country which is lacking in other parts of the country. We have roots and blood, and both go deep. Much deeper than a few decades of our leaders whoring us out for a dollar.

And guess what? We do not like "diversity". We prefer assimilation. Its what has worked for four centuries. We really don't see the positive impact of Yankee "progress". We do not understand how someone forgets their past and culture for a patchwork of old world cultures. We believe its dangerous to allow immigrants to bring their cultures to this country. Why? Look around. Examples? People of other cultures which believe in the the primacy of religion being the master of the country. For instance, Southern Culture is based on the country. The nation is primary.

And the example is very important right now due to our current problems. We do not deny people freedom of religion and we require all others do the same.

IN other words, I cannot tell you how to live and you have to do the same. I should not and will not be subject to the beliefs of another's religion.

Its the main reason I pick on the Catholics here. Its an old story and they have not figured it out. We are not a Papist Country. We do not adhere to Rome. It is why this country was formed.

It goes much deeper, economy? what Yankees call "capitalism"? we call cheap peddling.

[David Ferrand]

Orange Bard wrote:

Rudeness? talk too loud and too much, as a self-involved child.

Your posts seem awfully like this statement...look in the mirror.

[Orange Bard]

Its not "rude" to speak freely. Its encouraged.

These regional distinctions are not by coincidence.

Yes, we can be extremely rude when we feel our culture and our way of life is threatened.

Extremely.

We are fed up. For real. For serious. And its not just us, southerners. We are simply the Lamplight for the rest of the country except for one region, the North. Why is that? I wonder.

[Orange Bard]

Southerners and by extension, the rest of "America" are very hospitable people, right up to the point where other people start telling us how to live in our own country.

Its the whole Southern Hospitality thing. But guess what happened? Yep! Every time.

Its kinda that whole East Coast Liberal Intellectual thing.

These things are often true as we see everyday.

Just look at Belmont. A poster child for the ills of this society for the last half century and before.

Ain't nobody breeding us out with immigration.

And that IS exactly what THEY think is happening. Some people take us Southerners and their stereotypes a little too seriously. We ain't that stupid. Hell, ya'll brag about it in the public discourse, always have.

Once again look at Belmont.

[Orange Bard]

Here's how serious I am about this.

The Recession? the People caused it. The Recovery? the people will cause that too. But it ain't happening until certain things are righted and justice is served and the People's demands are met.

Until then, nothing! Unemployment gets worse. The Mancession turns into a full Depression and then....(yes sociologists-that;s rite)

Well, we do have our history....

[Redneck Yankee]

I was born & bred in Belmont. The only culture I knew growing up was poverty. Thank God I was lucky enough to educate my way out of it. I went to college up north with people who didn't care one iota about where I came from or what kind of an accent or religion I had. Growing up here there were a lot of lovely cultured southern gentle folk who would not give me the time of day because I was not good enough. Now let me tell you something. The people from the north are a lot more tolerant and not as critical of our ways as some people seem to believe.Why are we so consumed with them? Just because some southerners like to look down their high brow noses on others doesn't mean everyone is like that. Grow up. The civil war is over.

[Orange Bard]

Its obvious that not all take to it. But nowadays, its more than likely, some know not their true roots or culture and usually that is the case.

It is not your fault, its the fault of your country for having stolen it from you with misinformation.

I can assure you, most people think exactly what we know they think. It is voiced upon the public discourse every day. Just simple reading required.

And yes, these things are very important. Now more than ever. A person with no past, stumbles into the future.

This country has always derived its strength from its tradition. These things, our culture provides the pillars for this country.

It is a common mistake these days and one which will rudely and loudly awake a lot of people in the future.

Tolerant?

Southern People are the most "tolerant" people on earth. We are very slow to anger and angry words. Its kinda my point, slick.

We are known world-wide for this hospitality.

[Orange Bard]

But we're getting tired of Washington which is run by New York.

We don't like thieves, and we know we have more than enough in Raleigh.

We're tired of being overrun with immigration.

We;re even more tired of being told when to think or when to drink.

And we understand, in a very primal level, its gonna get tougher before it gets better.

But the bullshit has got to stop. The thieves have to go to jail.

The terrorists need to go to hell.

Fed Up. And when people start telling us how to live, we start getting ready to fight.

We haven't been buying guns, beans and bullets for nothing sweetpeas.

We see it coming.

[Lunatic Fringe]

Redneck Yankee wrote:

I was born & bred in Belmont. The only culture I knew growing up was poverty. Thank God I was lucky enough to educate my way out of it. I went to college up north with people who didn't care one iota about where I came from or what kind of an accent or religion I had. Growing up here there were a lot of lovely cultured southern gentle folk who would not give me the time of day because I was not good enough. Now let me tell you something. The people from the north are a lot more tolerant and not as critical of our ways as some people seem to believe.Why are we so consumed with them? Just because some southerners like to look down their high brow noses on others doesn't mean everyone is like that. Grow up. The civil war is over.

You need to head north up 85. Carpet baggers are a cancer to the southern way of life. The South is the last bastion of the true American way. Please don't f___ it up. If the north and their way of thinking was superior to ours, they would not be infesting our states as they are now.

[Toosense]

Lunatic Fringe wrote:

<quoted text>
You need to head north up 85. Carpet baggers are a cancer to the southern way of life. The South is the last bastion of the true American way. Please don't f___ it up. If the north and their way of thinking was superior to ours, they would not be infesting our states as they are now.

Who said that the north and their way of thinking was superior to yours? What exactly is "The Southern way of life"? Serving in the U.S. armed forces has allowed many of us to be transplanted, uprooted, and apparently cause cancer. I suppose I am a "Carpet bagger". After many years of Military service, and making many sacrifices........I call the South my home for now.
I was honorably discharged as was my husband, have enjoyed our travels, and wouldn't change a thing. We ended up........ where we ended up! Sorry if you don't like it.=)

[-Dinosaur-]

Toosense wrote:

<quoted text>
Who said that the north and their way of thinking was superior to yours? What exactly is "The Southern way of life"? Serving in the U.S. armed forces has allowed many of us to be transplanted, uprooted, and apparently cause cancer. I suppose I am a "Carpet bagger". After many years of Military service, and making many sacrifices........I call the South my home for now.
I was honorably discharged as was my husband, have enjoyed our travels, and wouldn't change a thing. We ended up........ where we ended up! Sorry if you don't like it.=)

I for one would like to thank you for your service - seriously. I tried to enlist but they didn't have a size 52 EEEEEE combat boot. ;-)