Child Support doesn't cover everything!!

Child Support doesn't cover everything!!

Posted in the Lake City Forum

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mommy

Lenoir City, TN

#1 Aug 5, 2010
Why does the other parent always think that child support will cover everything-food, clothes, medicine, doctor appt., school supplies etc.?? It doesn't and you would think that if this is his child then he would do what ever it takes to take care of his responsibility instead of complianing about. Be a man and stop complaining! Do you know any dead beat parents that won't pay there part?
chickie

Lenoir City, TN

#2 Aug 5, 2010
I have 2 kids and it is a fight on a daily bases if I ask their dad for something extra or even to pay a percentage. It is the law, I didn't make the law but it is the law.
THE RED CARPET

Smyrna, TN

#3 Aug 6, 2010
DIDN'T MAKE THE KIDS YOURSELF EITHER....DEAD BEAT DAD RUN WILD IN THIS TOWN. YOU CANT AFFORD YOUR DRUGS IF YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN. OR WHAT ABOUT THE ONES THAT SIGN THEIR RIGHTS OVER SO THEY DONT HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT?? LOOSERS!!!!!
New ideas

Nashville, TN

#4 Aug 6, 2010
Realize that your are LUCKY to be receiving any child support at all! Many woman struggle to feed those children that they didn't create alone!
jmo

Brentwood, TN

#5 Aug 6, 2010
My daughter is 14 this past April. Her dad left when I was 8 months pregnant. She has not seen him since she was 3. I have received a total of 400.00 in CS. She never as much as gets a birthday card from him. Every time I call the CS place...they say " no updates, the computer is in mode to locate." LMAO Then they send letters addressed to him to my address. Geesh
Feel LUCKY you get any money. My husband now finished paying off his child support next month. I am going to throw a party. He really should have been paid off about 3 years ago. When his youngest was about to turn 18 his ex claimed he had not paid ANY CS since they were divorced. We had receipts for most of it. However a lot of the time he gave her cash.( which i told him was not a good idea)I know for fact he paid her because I was there when he gave it to her, but we could not prove the cash.
I swear I hope she is depending on that 500 to pay her rent (or some bill) and does not realize it is ending.
The only way my daughter will get any money from her dad is if he was dead, and we knew about it. Then she could get some SS money.
mommy

Lenoir City, TN

#6 Aug 6, 2010
jmo wrote:
My daughter is 14 this past April. Her dad left when I was 8 months pregnant. She has not seen him since she was 3. I have received a total of 400.00 in CS. She never as much as gets a birthday card from him. Every time I call the CS place...they say " no updates, the computer is in mode to locate." LMAO Then they send letters addressed to him to my address. Geesh
Feel LUCKY you get any money. My husband now finished paying off his child support next month. I am going to throw a party. He really should have been paid off about 3 years ago. When his youngest was about to turn 18 his ex claimed he had not paid ANY CS since they were divorced. We had receipts for most of it. However a lot of the time he gave her cash.( which i told him was not a good idea)I know for fact he paid her because I was there when he gave it to her, but we could not prove the cash.
I swear I hope she is depending on that 500 to pay her rent (or some bill) and does not realize it is ending.
The only way my daughter will get any money from her dad is if he was dead, and we knew about it. Then she could get some SS money.
That is sad not only that a man that you thought would be there forever left before you even had the best gift in both of your lives. I don't understand why men and women feel that once they live that 200 a week will cover ever expense a child has but in your case he doesn't even give his love. I hope your daughter knows how special of a person she is regardless of what her dad thinks. I was always the person that didn't want children but I have 2 kids and I won't change that for the world. Being a parent was the best thing that ever happen to me regardless of how thier father feels. I pray that one day the state catches up with him and he has to pay back 18 years maybe then you can have an early retirement or an extra long vacation because you deserve it!
Puleeeeeze

Knoxville, TN

#7 Aug 12, 2010
Sorry, girls, but after the divorce it is not the ex-husband's place to pay enough in child support to pay for YOUR expenses, too! If you didn't have your kids, you would still have to furnish a place to live, buy food and utilities for YOURSELF. Your ex has to furnish himself all these things. I've noticed that most of the mothers around here don't pay for much out of their own pockets. They pay for their OWN living expenses with their children's child support, welfare or SSI checks or trumped up disability checks. Meanwhile, the dad is working his ass off, taking care of the child when the child is with him, while the dead-beat mom lays around on her lazy butt. I know that not all the moms are like this, but most that I see are. Makes me sick!
mommy

Lenoir City, TN

#8 Aug 13, 2010
Puleeeeeze wrote:
Sorry, girls, but after the divorce it is not the ex-husband's place to pay enough in child support to pay for YOUR expenses, too! If you didn't have your kids, you would still have to furnish a place to live, buy food and utilities for YOURSELF. Your ex has to furnish himself all these things. I've noticed that most of the mothers around here don't pay for much out of their own pockets. They pay for their OWN living expenses with their children's child support, welfare or SSI checks or trumped up disability checks. Meanwhile, the dad is working his ass off, taking care of the child when the child is with him, while the dead-beat mom lays around on her lazy butt. I know that not all the moms are like this, but most that I see are. Makes me sick!
okay, just so you know I work 2 jobs and I have a college degree, I worked long before I had my kids, that I do take care of; as for their dad who has a great paying job whines if he is asked for any help and doesn't even see his own kids! I hope one day I can lay around living off of someone else.
My opinion

AOL

#9 Aug 14, 2010
mommy wrote:
Why does the other parent always think that child support will cover everything-food, clothes, medicine, doctor appt., school supplies etc.?? It doesn't and you would think that if this is his child then he would do what ever it takes to take care of his responsibility instead of complianing about. Be a man and stop complaining! Do you know any dead beat parents that won't pay there part?
Have you ever thought of getting a job. I have two children, now grown and I worked to support them. Starting with kindergarten. It became rough but I managed. I would get their clothes ready at night, get their breakfast ready before I left for work, and left money for them to catch a cab if they missed the bus. I had latch key kids,long before society ever started talking about them. But my point is this. If you are not working then you need to get a JOB. Why should a man pay for everything you need for those kids, they are your responsibility too. Im sure the judge has your ex paying his FAIR share. You should do yours too.
My opinion

AOL

#10 Aug 14, 2010
P.S. If this man isn't paying his support, go back to court and let him set his behind in jail until he decides to pay support.
jmo

Knoxville, TN

#11 Aug 14, 2010
LMAO...

Back when I could still find my ex I called CS. Told them exactly where he was living, worked etc....They did nothing. I mean nothing...Well they did something.

They sent him a letter. He called in to the CS place in OR to find out about getting a reduction in the amount he was suppose to pay. The CS woman told him to NOT COME INTO THE OFFICE. If he did they would have to have him arrested. I know this for a fact because the woman at CS told me she she told him that. About a week after that they sent the county to my address looking for him. That was after they had sent a letter to a different address, talked to him on the phone and he had given them still a different address. There have been several court dates, and of course he does not show up. No one knows where he is now. They keep sending letters to him to my address. So I don't have much faith in the Tennessee CS.

I don't think a man should pay everything. I do think they should pay support, and be willing to help with extra expenses when they come up...like illness, school trips etc. I have managed and am remarried now. My daughter has had plenty, but she has missed out on alot of things because I could not afford them.
mommy

Lenoir City, TN

#12 Aug 14, 2010
My opinion wrote:
<quoted text>
Have you ever thought of getting a job. I have two children, now grown and I worked to support them. Starting with kindergarten. It became rough but I managed. I would get their clothes ready at night, get their breakfast ready before I left for work, and left money for them to catch a cab if they missed the bus. I had latch key kids,long before society ever started talking about them. But my point is this. If you are not working then you need to get a JOB. Why should a man pay for everything you need for those kids, they are your responsibility too. Im sure the judge has your ex paying his FAIR share. You should do yours too.
I have a job and I take care of my kids not like their dad; it takes more then just money to raise children.
jmo

Knoxville, TN

#13 Aug 14, 2010
Yeah I don't think any of the women on here said they did not have jobs...or did not want to work. lol

I think "Puleeeeeze" just sounds like a man that is pissed off because he has to pay child support. I might be wrong but seems a bit bitter..lol
Puleeeeeze

Knoxville, TN

#14 Aug 14, 2010
jmo wrote:
Yeah I don't think any of the women on here said they did not have jobs...or did not want to work. lol
I think "Puleeeeeze" just sounds like a man that is pissed off because he has to pay child support. I might be wrong but seems a bit bitter..lol
You couldn't be more wrong. I raised my daughter without a penny in child support from my ex. And he never came to visit his daughter, either---not once. There were lots of times that his child support was definitely needed and I think he should have paid it, but we survived and have done well. He missed out on being a part of the life of a wonderful little girl who has grown to be a phenomenal woman. His loss----not ours. I still have the same opinion about mothers and child support. It is not the ex-husband's obligation to support his ex-wife or to make HER life easier. It is HER obligation to provide for herself. Once the divorce is over, the ex has no further obligations to his ex-wife. And I still think that most ex-wives have the mistaken belief that the ex-husband owes her something. Sorry, girls, but I don't agree! Yes, the monetary and property gains that were made by both as a couple should be equally divided upon divorcing. But I believe that both parents should be equally responsible for the children, both financially and emotionally. I believe in joint custody with both parents equally involved in the children's lives. Of course, this requires BOTH parents to behave like responsible adults and to quit being petty and self-centered and to put the child first.
jmo

Knoxville, TN

#15 Aug 15, 2010
Puleeeeeze I am in pretty much the same as you. I have not gotten any CS. My Daughter has not seen her dad since she was around 4.(14 now)It is his loss...but she has suffered also. I remember when she was around 5 she told me when she got old enough to drive she was going to find him...really sad.

I don't think anyone that posted about not getting support or not getting enough support expects the ex to support THEM.(the way I read it anyway) I think they were simply stating that the amount of support they get in no way pays for 1/2 of the monetary needs of the child/children.

I know/have known alot of women that would get 20-40 dollars a week. There is no way that pays 1/2. I am not talking about housing, food etc. I am talking about diapers, clothing, daycare etc. Then when the child gets a bit older and wants to play sports, take dance, go on school trips etc. I think the non-custodial parent should help with those things.(although I don't think a child should do everything. It should be within reason and what the parents can afford) I know plenty of times I had to tell my daughter..pick one, we can't afford both.

Child support is not suppose to be alimony.
Tea Bag Tax Payer

AOL

#16 Aug 15, 2010
The father should not have to pay ANY child support at all. Just don't expect it. If YOU cannot support the children, then DON'T HAVE THEM. It takes two to have children and you can always say "No". If women did not have the expectation that men would pay child support then they would have fewer children that they could not support and the tax payer would be better off because we would not have to pay for school, food stamps, section 8 housing, free lunches, etc.
mommy

Lenoir City, TN

#17 Aug 15, 2010
Tea Bag Tax Payer wrote:
The father should not have to pay ANY child support at all. Just don't expect it. If YOU cannot support the children, then DON'T HAVE THEM. It takes two to have children and you can always say "No". If women did not have the expectation that men would pay child support then they would have fewer children that they could not support and the tax payer would be better off because we would not have to pay for school, food stamps, section 8 housing, free lunches, etc.
Listen I was married for many years, both of my children were discussed before we had them-so he wasn't walking blind into marriage, children or his affair that ended our marriage, I do not get alimony, I have a college degree and I go to work everyday and have way before my cheating husband ever left. I do not get public housing, food stamps or anything else from the government; Both of my children have "Illness Issues" that cost lots of money that no one else helps with except for my self. It would be great if someone else helped with medical expenses but they don't, not even their father.
My opinion

AOL

#18 Aug 16, 2010
Dear Mommy, I know it is hard. The times we live in now are hard for everyone. I wish you luck with your children. Rest assured they will be old enough to see how life was while growing up. They will know who did such a good job, and who wasnt worth a crap. Hang in there. If your children are having health issues that bad, have you tried getting them on SSI or Social Security to help. Good luck. May God Bless you.
My opinion

AOL

#19 Aug 16, 2010
To Tea Bag Tax Payer
How many children do you have that you are not paying for, or are you just one of these jerks we see on here all the time. If you are careless and father them then YOU are responsible to help support them. Other wise CUT it off.
Pregnant on purpose

Knoxville, TN

#20 Aug 16, 2010
Lots of girls (and women) get pregnant on purpose just so they can get a check on the kids. I know several girls who have done this because they think they will have it made and won't have to work. And some get pregnant thinking that this is the way to make the guy marry them. I've seen it happen quite a few times. Sometimes it works, sometimes it don't, but the guy always ends up paying child support. What's the solution? I don't know, but if I was a guy, I would either get a vasectomy or faithfully wear a condom and make her use spermicide! And before everyone starts shouting, like it or not, SOME WOMEN DO THIS ON PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!!

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