Paying child support for a child I just found out I'm not the father

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Devastated Dad
#1 Aug 16, 2012
Help! I'm looking to peruse my Ex for lieing to me. Any advise is greatly appreciated. I am the father to three but biological to two, I recently took a DNA test(peace of mind test-not to be used in a court of law) to determine if my youngest child is for me. Test results came back to my surprise the child in which I believed was mine is not. I'm devastated to say the least. Not to mention hurt, betrayed, and feel used!!!! I was never married to my Ex was just had three children together or so I thought. I payed my child support on time and as agreed for the last fifteen years. When the third pregnancy came around our relationship was on the brink, I worked away a lot and suspected she was cheating. She " ASSURED" me I was the father, so in order to kept my family together I accepted the explanation she gave me. It's been nine years and since than I married someone else so did she, her twice. I've had lots of people tell me over the years that the child in question looks nothing like me or my two other children, I just pasted it off. Well in the last two years several people have same to me informing me of a steamy affair she had for at least six months before she became pregnant and continued for a least one after the child was born. I love my children but believe its not fair to me or the child to know the truth, I
Have been told I can take her to court to have my name removed from the BC and have her reimburse me for the support I payed. I do love this child but feel the right thing needs to be corrected, I would hate for her to need a kidney or some sort of transplant and for her to find out in a terrible way I can't help her because I'm not her biological father . Any advise legal spiritual or helpful is appreciated.
free advice

Alexandria, LA

#2 Aug 16, 2012
Devastated Dad wrote:
Help! I'm looking to peruse my Ex for lieing to me. Any advise is greatly appreciated. I am the father to three but biological to two, I recently took a DNA test(peace of mind test-not to be used in a court of law) to determine if my youngest child is for me. Test results came back to my surprise the child in which I believed was mine is not. I'm devastated to say the least. Not to mention hurt, betrayed, and feel used!!!! I was never married to my Ex was just had three children together or so I thought. I payed my child support on time and as agreed for the last fifteen years. When the third pregnancy came around our relationship was on the brink, I worked away a lot and suspected she was cheating. She " ASSURED" me I was the father, so in order to kept my family together I accepted the explanation she gave me. It's been nine years and since than I married someone else so did she, her twice. I've had lots of people tell me over the years that the child in question looks nothing like me or my two other children, I just pasted it off. Well in the last two years several people have same to me informing me of a steamy affair she had for at least six months before she became pregnant and continued for a least one after the child was born. I love my children but believe its not fair to me or the child to know the truth, I
Have been told I can take her to court to have my name removed from the BC and have her reimburse me for the support I payed. I do love this child but feel the right thing needs to be corrected, I would hate for her to need a kidney or some sort of transplant and for her to find out in a terrible way I can't help her because I'm not her biological father . Any advise legal spiritual or helpful is appreciated.
Kill her

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#3 Aug 18, 2012
Devastated Dad wrote:
Help! I'm looking to peruse my Ex for lieing to me. Any advise is greatly appreciated. I am the father to three but biological to two, I recently took a DNA test(peace of mind test-not to be used in a court of law) to determine if my youngest child is for me. Test results came back to my surprise the child in which I believed was mine is not. I'm devastated to say the least. Not to mention hurt, betrayed, and feel used!!!! I was never married to my Ex was just had three children together or so I thought. I payed my child support on time and as agreed for the last fifteen years. When the third pregnancy came around our relationship was on the brink, I worked away a lot and suspected she was cheating. She " ASSURED" me I was the father, so in order to kept my family together I accepted the explanation she gave me. It's been nine years and since than I married someone else so did she, her twice. I've had lots of people tell me over the years that the child in question looks nothing like me or my two other children, I just pasted it off. Well in the last two years several people have same to me informing me of a steamy affair she had for at least six months before she became pregnant and continued for a least one after the child was born. I love my children but believe its not fair to me or the child to know the truth, I
Have been told I can take her to court to have my name removed from the BC and have her reimburse me for the support I payed. I do love this child but feel the right thing needs to be corrected, I would hate for her to need a kidney or some sort of transplant and for her to find out in a terrible way I can't help her because I'm not her biological father . Any advise legal spiritual or helpful is appreciated.
Continue paying until the court orders otherwise. You can probably continue visitations if you request it. It is kind of a soul searching situation...of you are close to this child then how important is the money? Get a DNA test find out the truth and stay a dad to the child.
abbeville native

Abbeville, LA

#4 Aug 18, 2012
Get a DNA test and if you are not the father take her to court and try to get all of your child support back!!! And then some if you can!! Unfortunately this happens way more than people like to think.
abbeville native

Abbeville, LA

#5 Aug 18, 2012
Sorry, I just reread your post and saw that you already know the results. Unfortunately, you probably cannot stop paying but I would seek the advise of a lawyer immediately!! You should not have to pay support for a child that is not yours!

Since: Aug 12

United States

#6 Aug 22, 2012
Keep the #1 most important thing in mind before any decisions are made. Don't make decisions based in anger because those decisions must go across a tender heart and can leave a deep scar on that tender heart.. And she must understand that also.. Do what's right for the kid but do it wisely. Sort out your feelings so those negative feelings don't affect your decisions. Good Luck. Thank you. Where should I send your bill for my services? My fee is 225$ for 2 minutes.
Just saying

Pasadena, TX

#7 Aug 23, 2012
You lay with dogs YOU will get fleas. Pray and be the best father she can have. How would feel paying child support for 18 years? Then you find out she's not you're. No difference. She's human mothers a dog, you got bit. Go green
Wow

Opelousas, LA

#8 Aug 26, 2012
Have you contacted your attorney to see if you can fight this in court
Where's my car?

Euless, TX

#9 Aug 27, 2012
Continue to love the child. Money isn't important to her but your love is. It's not the child's fault. Sorry this happened to you.
SAME SITUATION

Hollywood, FL

#10 Dec 17, 2012
MY HUSBANDS EX IS CALLING HIM TELLING HIM THATS THE CHILD MIGHT NOT BE HIS AFTER SEVEN YEARS AND THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO PURSUE FULL CUSTODY CAUSE SHE WANTS TO MOVE OUT OF STATE AND ITS CONVINIENT FOR HER SINCE HE IS NOT LETTING HIS TWO CHILDREN LEAVE. HE HAS SHARED CUSTODY AND PAYS CHILD SUPPORT. I JUST WANT THAT IF IN THE CASE THAT SHE ACCOMPLISHES THAT THAT SHE WOULD HAVE TO PAY HIM BACK CAUSE IS NOT FAIR FOR HIM TO LOOSE HIS CHILD AND HIS MONEY TO HER
ddh66

Detroit, MI

#11 Mar 24, 2013
Mama's baby, daddy's maybe. Women should be punished, just as well as men who don't pay support. The law doesn't have much sympothy for lack/non child support payment. They need to be just as hard on Lying mothers. And to prevent any of this from occuring, dna should be automatic when the baby is born. Before child support is even issued. That way everyone knows the TRUTH before all the paperwork drama.
slim

UK

#13 May 20, 2013
I believe that it is very unfair of any woman to do that to a man that she claims to love and then what kind of a mother does she call herself for her to tear her child's heart apart and her hole being the devastation that a father and child has to bear because of her stupidity and lies that turns their hole life upside down! I say that a paternity test should be done before the child is born it will prevent plenty broken lives!
Douglas

Houston, TX

#14 Jun 24, 2013
in Louisiana do you have to pay child support before DNA is done
Douglas

Houston, TX

#15 Jun 24, 2013
Douglas wrote:
in Louisiana do you have to pay child support before DNA is done
my daughter was 7 when. I was learned of her. I paid for 7yrs and I wanna know do I have to pay it?
Arandom Persona

Duncannon, PA

#16 Jul 20, 2013
There are several more ways any disgruntled fathers can use to take their bargaining power back with the courts that aren't covered in this article but are covered extensively in this new book on how to avoid child support - http://www.getoutofchildsupport.org
DAB

Ponchatoula, LA

#17 Jul 23, 2013
yes u do have to pay child support before a dna
we all need a father

Brisbane, Australia

#18 Aug 30, 2013
I have been on the end of the family law courts one sidedness she had all the legal support anyone could want all at the tax payers expense and I was unable to get any so was forced to rep myself.
I once asked the child support agency if I was not the father if I would get the child support I had payed back and they said no. So then I say if any child support is sourt then no dna no pay it is just not right
chris532008

Lafayette, LA

#19 Sep 13, 2013
abbeville native wrote:
Sorry, I just reread your post and saw that you already know the results. Unfortunately, you probably cannot stop paying but I would seek the advise of a lawyer immediately!! You should not have to pay support for a child that is not yours!
no, stop payment, let the court bring up the issue, have the court recognize the stop payment and reason, probably not possible or reasonable to get the back support and will cause alienation from the child, but no cause to continue the expense, on the other hand if the biological father is available, he should be accosted as to his obligations and possible restitution, in the long run the truth probably won t huth
Beautiful Lady

Virginia Beach, VA

#20 Oct 6, 2013
I do agree the mother was wrong for not being truthful and needs to, willingly or by court, compensate. I also feel you both are COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!!! She for her dishonesty. You for having knowledge of her dishonesty and not moving on it earlier because you wanted to "make it work." The one hurt, affected, scared is the young lady. Not baby....young lady now! The mother feels shes got off clean and you want reimbursment. You both messed up and were COMPLETELY WRONG! I feel for the child and who is going to realize her mother was dishonest and a father (man who raised her) thinks little enough of her to now remove his name from her BC. Sure she feels loved right now. I hurt for her. Both of you should be ashamed. With that said....seek legal counsel from the state she was BORN in. Wish you guys the best. More so prayer for you guys (her) daughter.
truthbetold

Tampa, FL

#21 Nov 13, 2013
need advice. my friend was incarcerated for 2 1/2 years while he was in jail for almost a yr his wife at the time now ex got preg by another man. the divorce was final b for the baby came but they r still trying to get him to pay child support for that baby. even when he showed that he was in jail an went to prison. he never got out to get her preg. an may i add they have three kids together and one that he adopted that is the oldest an she's 18 now an is not in school an is preg an there also making him pay for her still. an we r from FL. can any one give us advice ...

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