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samantha

Kingsland, GA

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#1
Jun 25, 2013
 

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where have you been??? Your favorite entertainer has been on a roll. We need for you to now come and entertain us!!!
We anxiously await for the next exciting episode of "As Jay's Mind Turns"...or maybe we should say "spins".....

Since: Jun 13

Kingsland, GA

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#2
Jun 25, 2013
 
Never fear, dear. We just updated the thread :)
Soap

Kingsland, GA

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#3
Jun 26, 2013
 
We've attempted to update "As Jay's Mind Turns" several times but the posts haven't appeared so far. Jay's Evil Topix Editor at work? Only the little gremlins in Moreno's mind know for sure!
Detergent

Kingsland, GA

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#4
Jun 26, 2013
 
This sucks. The one good thread on Topix and Soap's been banned just for exposing Moreno????
Anon

Saint Marys, GA

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#7
Jun 27, 2013
 

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Detergent wrote:
This sucks. The one good thread on Topix and Soap's been banned just for exposing Moreno????
Just because Moreno is mot capable of refuting Soap, he has evidently whined to the Topix editors that he is being picked on. Moreno is the biggest abuser on this site and they haven't shut his filthy mouth down. Click on "Report Abuse" and tell the Topix editors what you think of their tactics.
Laundry

Kingsland, GA

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#8
Jun 27, 2013
 

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From Soap: "It does seem ironic that Jay marauds around the internet, causing havoc, harm and nausea while someone who simply reports on his antics is prohibited from posting. No matter though.

Let's see what's arrived in Jay's Mail Bag today.

Marion from **** writes "I am an African-American and find Mr. Jay's fixation on black crime just weird. I guess he doesn't read your local paper and so didn't notice that the majority of pedophiles in your community are white. What would he say about that?"

Jay's answer: "Remember those words, Comandante, when a Black savage rapes your unarmed ass and slits your throat when he's done."

Paul from the Vatican tweets "Our prayers are with Jay. It's hard but we're determined to save his soul."

Jay replies, "Stick your prayers up your naïve, silly, Lib ass."

Mikey from Milwaukee says "I'm interested: In that Jay spends so many hours on Topix and cyberstalking people how can he manage to eat enough to maintain his vast weight?"

Jay's response: "I will easily be able to do both, thank you."

Sally from The Washington State Penitentiary for the Criminally Insane writes "I adore Jay! He's my kinda hunk of burning love. I need, need, need to be able to touch something he's owned or has lived with! Pleeeeease!"

Karl, our slightly demented but fondly-tolerated staff member, asked to answer that one by saying "Jay's "estate sale": a large collection of junk and a misspelled description of it. Maybe the vicious Topix editor who's plaguing him changed the spelling to "matrass." http://www.estatesales.net/estate-sales/45929... ;

So that's it for tonight, kids. Jay may have shut us down on our own thread but there are ways around that and we'll continue to celebrate and report on our star....as his mind turns.

Since: Feb 11

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#9
Jun 27, 2013
 

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Greetings, children. I see you've met my protégé, Soap - a worthy enough sort if you enjoy that low-brow type of humor. Personally, I grew rather bored with Jay some time ago and so embarked upon a world tour.

As I type, minions are crossing the beach bearing tangy alcoholic beverages of gustatory delight.
In that I have a few moments before Svetlana greases me down and heaves me onto my back to continue perfecting my all-over tan I shall deign to peruse the pages of Topix. One moment, please...

Ah...I see that all is staggering along in its usual comedy-of-errors, dysfunctional fashion in your town.
A handful of semi-literate sorts got their lines in a knot over a sailboat, the Spencer brothers are still creating an uproar, much about something called "Zumba" (is that a local delicacy) and Jay is just, well...Jay. And it would appear that he's becoming more Jay-ish by the day.

Were I not so relaxed by Svetlana and these delicious, fruity drinks I would wonder why you never seem to tire of the interminable cacophony of idiots, mis pequeños idiotas deraged.

No matter. Go on poisoning your little pool, making your town into a vast hazmat area through your online inanities and supporting Jay's addiction. I love you all, in your fascinating Petri dish.

Oh, pool boy, clear the decks! I feel a cannonball coming on. Just give me 30 minutes to get up....
flip flop

Kingsland, GA

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#10
Jun 27, 2013
 

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A two-fer to end an otherwise uneventful day on Topix. This is better than a double desert at B&B.
Lenny

Kingsland, GA

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#11
Jun 28, 2013
 

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What a great start to my day. Anti-Jay and Soap, keep it coming. "Oh, pool boy, clear the decks! I feel a cannonball coming on. Just give me 30 minutes to get up...." Hahahahhhahha. Priceless!
samantha

Kingsland, GA

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#12
Jun 28, 2013
 

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Soap and Anti-Jay have made my day!!!!
Normandacious

Kingsland, GA

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#13
Jun 28, 2013
 

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Has anyone else noticed that whenever either Soap or Anti-Jay post something, Moreno is silent for a couple of days? He has no come-back because they use his own stupid words to hang him high. Then he just starts posting his news links again. Love it!
Tommy

Stockbridge, GA

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#14
Jun 28, 2013
 

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I just perused through the estate sale. Is this the high dollar junk Jay described as having the " professionals " sale? Or, is this the junk, junk that should be thrown in a dumpstet? Confused.
Sudsy

Kingsland, GA

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#15
Jul 2, 2013
 

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Hey there, Jayettes and Jaysters! It's time to dive into The Mail Bag again so let's all strap on our hip-waders and see what's in the septic tank "As Jay's Mind Turns"!

Here we have a note from Maisy who declines to identify her location: "I was sorry to hear of Jay's many afflictions and I was wondering if his uncontrolled obesity and subsequent diabetes has damaged his eyesight yet?"

Jay replies, "I'm not "Blind Duck," A-hole. ESAD!"

Martin from Morose writes "We recently held a fund-raiser for Jay so that he could attend some sort of therapy sessions. It pains me to report that no one attended because they thought that he might make an appearance. I'd like to blame someone for our abject failure and was wondering if you had any idea who started the rumor that the great man himself might grace our gala."

Jay's answer: "It was not my idea, A-hole. Had it been and had I supervised it, it would have been a smashing success."

Bessie from The Acronym Society says "While we applaud Jay's use of acronyms, we are having trouble deciphering some of his comments. Could you publish a handy translation manual?"

Jay's response: "Dear Ignorant A-hole, Sorry to learn of your impoverished vocabulary and lack of mastery of what I assume is your native language. Now, kindly ESAD!"

(Breaking with single-comment precedent he followed up with "Why don't you point out my punctuation errors so that I might school your dumb ass as well?")

Peter from Pointless emailed his question: "I'm considering purchasing a house in Jay's neighborhood. It's approximately 200 yards from his field of dreams. Will my family and I be safe?"

Our star responds with "200 yards? Hell, I could take you out at 200 yards over open sights with any decent rifle."

(Peter isn't sure but he thinks that was a direct threat).

So that's it, kids. Our idol remains everyone's favorite hobby. Las Vegas bookies are raking it in as people lay bets on whether or not he reaches the age of 70 before being incarcerated.(The odds are, alas, not in his favor).
Tiny Bubbles

Saint Marys, GA

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#16
Jul 2, 2013
 
As I am the youngest and smallest member of the Jay Watch team, our leader, Dr. Soap, assigned me the unenviable and unexciting task of probing what is known of Jay's childhood, looking for some clue to the cause of his broken and bitter psych. After many hours of fruitless research, I found nothing. Then, the great man himself came to my rescue. During the past days, Jay has posted enough info right here on Topix to begin to crack open the dark curtain that seals off his childhood.

We have learned that Jay and his father had a contentious relationship,laced with distrust, disrespect, taunts, threats, tantrums and tyranny.
It seems, at times, the altercations between them became physical.

In his posts, Jay describes what he says was their last confrontation. According to Jay, his father became so incensed that he swung at him so hard that, when he missed, he punched a hole through a screen door.(To put this in perspective, I have to tell you that my five year niece threw her broken Barbie doll through their screen door and about 15 feet into the back yard. Her daddy was not happy.)

Again, according to Jay, he then slapped his father in the face with a banana.(He didn't say if he was eating the banana or he was just carrying it in self defense.) From that time on, Jay contends, his father was too afraid to confront him further.

I hope this telling of the great Moreno family battle lends just a little clarity in our quest to understand the convoluted corners of Jay maddened mind. I will keep you posted as we learn more.

Tiny Bubbles
Anon

Saint Marys, GA

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#17
Jul 3, 2013
 

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Tiny Bubbles wrote:
As I am the youngest and smallest member of the Jay Watch team, our leader, Dr. Soap, assigned me the unenviable and unexciting task of probing what is known of Jay's childhood, looking for some clue to the cause of his broken and bitter psych. After many hours of fruitless research, I found nothing. Then, the great man himself came to my rescue. During the past days, Jay has posted enough info right here on Topix to begin to crack open the dark curtain that seals off his childhood.
We have learned that Jay and his father had a contentious relationship,laced with distrust, disrespect, taunts, threats, tantrums and tyranny.
It seems, at times, the altercations between them became physical.
In his posts, Jay describes what he says was their last confrontation. According to Jay, his father became so incensed that he swung at him so hard that, when he missed, he punched a hole through a screen door.(To put this in perspective, I have to tell you that my five year niece threw her broken Barbie doll through their screen door and about 15 feet into the back yard. Her daddy was not happy.)
Again, according to Jay, he then slapped his father in the face with a banana.(He didn't say if he was eating the banana or he was just carrying it in self defense.) From that time on, Jay contends, his father was too afraid to confront him further.
I hope this telling of the great Moreno family battle lends just a little clarity in our quest to understand the convoluted corners of Jay maddened mind. I will keep you posted as we learn more.
Tiny Bubbles
That must have been the fight of the century. I can just picture Jay skipping around smacking his father mercilessly with his banana.
Simplistic dolt

Cumming, GA

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#18
Jul 3, 2013
 
Anon wrote:
<quoted text>
That must have been the fight of the century. I can just picture Jay skipping around smacking his father mercilessly with his banana.
Using a banana on your mother would be Oedipal, is there a term for using a banana on your father? Other than the obvious perverted.

Since: Jun 13

Kingsland, GA

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#19
Jul 6, 2013
 

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Yeehaw, boys and girls, it's time for Jay's Mail Bag! Let's see what questions and comments our loyal viewers have come up with and what our always amusing, always deranged star has to say.

It has been brought to our attention that some of Jay's fans are quite young (what are their parents thinking?) so we've decided to use asterisks in the places where he's written his obscenities in full. It's a pain in the a** but we aim to please everyone.

Boom-Boom from Stereo writes "I was sitting at an intersection, quietly listening to my favorite aria from Madame Butterfly, and some guy yelled "Shut that thing off! Do you have a death wish? Jay's on the move!" What the heck? Does Jay have a problem with music in cars?"

Jay, "discussing" a new town-ordinance against excessive noise, thunders "On the third offense, the offender's picture should be placed into the (local paper) with permission for the general public to shoot the son-of-a-b***h for any further offenses."

Belinda from Savannah emails "Look, we're all really, really sorry that your town is Jay-afflicted but it took us years to get rid of him and there ain't no way we're taking him back so stop asking!"

From Jay "...you evil, lying, S.O.B.- you've never been there." (We have no idea what he's talking about but that's half the magic of our star).

Nauseous from Nantucket says "I went to one of the restaurants that Jay recommended and afterward my left leg fell off, my hair fell out, I became impotent and I've been vomiting for three months. The specialists think that I may have been exposed to lingering Jay-spores. I'd like to get a sample from your star for the doctors to test but, quite frankly, he scares me."

Jay's reply: "Hey, coward, if you want eff with me, go for it, but leave hard working people delivering damn good cuisine alone, you chicken s**t A-hole."

Little Suzie from Undisclosed writes "Jay makes me have bad dreams. Please make him stop."

Jay growls "...you are obviously a lying A-hole afflicted with Jay Derangement Syndrome."

Anonymous from Unknown send this "I just had to share this priceless bit of Jayana. I almost fell on the cat I was laughing so hard. So he travels with his "vast" self down the middle of the road as he tries to blend in with the locals for fun. It just doesn't get any better than this:

"About me:
I'm a 65 year old, life-long bachelor. Ergo, my experience with eating out is vast -as is my waist. That's largely because I've been in a wheelchair since contracting severe Guillain-Barre syndrome 9 years ago. I've always been a "foodie." I'm a fairly good cook myself. Born and reared in Savannah, GA. I KNOW good, authentic, Southern cuisine when I find it. I often write reviews of restaurants and post them to local bulletin boards.

My travel style: Middle of the road
When traveling, I: Try to blend in with the locals
I usually travel for: Fun
A great vacation includes: Great food/Wine
I travel with: Myself
http://www.tripadvisor.com/members/GordoSt_Ma... ;

That's it for now, all you Jay-ites. Our hero doesn't write often any more for some reason (only six or seven times per day) and quite honestly even the staff at "As Jay's Mind Turns" doesn't have the stomach to read it all, but we do our best. Keep tuning in...because without your on-going disgust he really has no reason to live (as far as we can tell).
Charlie

Kingsland, GA

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#20
Jul 7, 2013
 
Another great one, Soap. How's that "blending in with the locals" working for you, Jay?
Al Pope 7

Saint Marys, GA

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#21
Jul 7, 2013
 
The seeds of destruction already lie with us. but like any tragic event, the process has changed us forever.
Bubbles

Kingsland, GA

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#22
Jul 7, 2013
 
Say what, Al? Good job as usual, Soap. A great way to start my day.

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