a parent

Tucker, GA

#1 Nov 12, 2012
If food stamps can be monitored/regulated to where u can't buy dog food beer cigarettes,,,why can the system or whoever it is do the same with child support. How can a mother/father go swipe a child support card and buy liquor and cigarettes when I'm most positive children in grade school do neither. Food for thought!
hmmmmm

Kennett, MO

#2 Nov 12, 2012
Well, child support can be used as the receiving parent sees fit. The receiving parent could be spending extra money on the child while waiting on child support. They could then use the child support money to reimburse themselves.

I do think it would be beneficial for the child if the money was deposited in an account and each transaction had to be accounted for with a receipt or other documentation.
Doc

Kennett, MO

#3 Nov 12, 2012
a parent wrote:
If food stamps can be monitored/regulated to where u can't buy dog food beer cigarettes,,,why can the system or whoever it is do the same with child support. How can a mother/father go swipe a child support card and buy liquor and cigarettes when I'm most positive children in grade school do neither. Food for thought!
what is a child support card? I thought single parents paid money to the custodial parent. Where does the card come from?
hmmmmm

Kennett, MO

#4 Nov 12, 2012
Doc wrote:
<quoted text>
what is a child support card? I thought single parents paid money to the custodial parent. Where does the card come from?
It's a prepaid debit card that the money is put on. If the child support agreement involves the state transferring money from non-custodial to custodial parent, they have the option of the prepaid card or direct deposit.
a parent

Tucker, GA

#5 Nov 12, 2012
To Hummm, its exactly how it was explained. It's basically when u can't get your child support. And yes I understand how most custodial parents spend MORE money because the child is with that parent the most. However my issue is where and why reimburse yourself by swiping the "child support" card to purchase things that doesn't benefit the minor child/children. I agree the money should be put into an account and accounted for. Gas money, clothing for the child, rent, electricity bills and so is where and how the money should be spent. I'm just saying as a parent when a child has divorced parents they should BOTH care for that child equally! People who ate divorced and are the noncustodoal parent gets off cheap. But the bottom line is it should have a paper trail as to what is being purchased with the money.
hmmmmm

Kennett, MO

#6 Nov 12, 2012
a parent wrote:
To Hummm, its exactly how it was explained. It's basically when u can't get your child support. And yes I understand how most custodial parents spend MORE money because the child is with that parent the most. However my issue is where and why reimburse yourself by swiping the "child support" card to purchase things that doesn't benefit the minor child/children. I agree the money should be put into an account and accounted for. Gas money, clothing for the child, rent, electricity bills and so is where and how the money should be spent. I'm just saying as a parent when a child has divorced parents they should BOTH care for that child equally! People who ate divorced and are the noncustodoal parent gets off cheap. But the bottom line is it should have a paper trail as to what is being purchased with the money.
I guess it comes down to it like this. If the non-custodial parent is late on sending payments, the custodial parent has to cover it. If school starts in a week and you haven't received this months payment to help pay for school supplies, you have to pick up the extra. If that means you can't buy a couple bottles of wine that week, that's what you gotta do. If you get the payment a week after school starts, what's wrong with buying yourself a couple bottles of wine using that card? You made up for the late payment and now you're getting your money back.

This is really only an issue if you use the debit card. If it's direct deposit, you don't know what money is what if you don't have a separate account and most don't.
a parent

Tucker, GA

#7 Nov 12, 2012
Well Hummm my point is a paper trail for the "usage" of where that money is going. This question was posed to me by child. I know from standing n line at Walmart certain things can't be purchased with food stamps. If they can put stipulations on these things why not put regulations on a simple child support card. I think the name of each speaks for its self. My point is this. I went up to the tanning salon when they were running a special because my friend was working nights at the time. I bought her the package and she said she'd pay me back. Well because she had custody and her X pays support she used it like a normal debit card and ran it thru the ATM and said...here ya go, tell ***** thank you for buying my tanning sessions! Really? Ok let's refund our self for luxuries?? Wine...another luxury, cigarettes..I think this is a bigger problem than most think. If she's making it without the money why should HE pay for her to tan? And yes I did ask her that. She said one it hits her pocket she cam do what she wants as long as her child is taken care of. I said fair enough...u should have asked for alimony then!!
hmmmmm

Kennett, MO

#8 Nov 12, 2012
a parent wrote:
Well Hummm my point is a paper trail for the "usage" of where that money is going. This question was posed to me by child. I know from standing n line at Walmart certain things can't be purchased with food stamps. If they can put stipulations on these things why not put regulations on a simple child support card. I think the name of each speaks for its self. My point is this. I went up to the tanning salon when they were running a special because my friend was working nights at the time. I bought her the package and she said she'd pay me back. Well because she had custody and her X pays support she used it like a normal debit card and ran it thru the ATM and said...here ya go, tell ***** thank you for buying my tanning sessions! Really? Ok let's refund our self for luxuries?? Wine...another luxury, cigarettes..I think this is a bigger problem than most think. If she's making it without the money why should HE pay for her to tan? And yes I did ask her that. She said one it hits her pocket she cam do what she wants as long as her child is taken care of. I said fair enough...u should have asked for alimony then!!
What do you propose people do? Call up their utility company and say "I need to make a payment of X amount on this card and then the remainder on this card?" That seems silly. They can pay the bills and such themselves and then use whatever is on the card for whatever else they would have paid for using the part they covered. You already said that custodial parents spend more than non-custodial parents. She is completely accurate.

It's not a government benefit card. It's a prepaid debit card just like you get from your bank except the money is loaded by DCFS using the money received from the non-custodial parent. I believe MO uses a Mastercard. It's no different than a regular debit card as far as stores are concerned and you can't tell it is either.
hmmmmm

Kennett, MO

#9 Nov 12, 2012
A lot of custodial parents can survive without child support by not having any luxuries. Does that mean the non-custodial parent doesn't have to contribute? Absolutely not. It sounds like that's what you want.

If the custodial parent pays for everything because payments are late and such, I don't take issue with them using the money for luxuries even if it's not for the child. You said you have a child so you should know all of the little and big expenses that pop up all the time.
a parent

Tucker, GA

#10 Nov 12, 2012
I do and to some extent I agree. However my point is if the money isn't needed for the child it should be alimony. And either way the child expenses...clothes school supplies Dr bills medicines and those things should he split down the middle. How about the parent who has the child insured? That comes out of his or her check..for theory child. My point is more custodial parents around this area I'm sure "need" the money. And just as others work the welfare system I'm sure there are ones who also abuse their child support money as well. My friends situation is basically a slap n her X's face. I can't see nor did I see him go purchase her tanning sessions. The point I guess is for the ones who abuse the money getting paid in for the children and the money not being utilized properly...for the children. So the suggestion earlier about having it accounted for is a good statement and I agree with that. And I did not in any way mean the other parent shouldn't help.
someone

Kennett, MO

#11 Nov 12, 2012
If you dont receive child support maybe you shuld mind your own business. My ex is ordered to pay x amount and he pays regularly, but the problem is the state takes as long as they want to put the money on the card. As of right now the state not my ex is behind two full payments. Because of this who do you think pays for what my child needs? I dont have a money tree in the back yard,god i wish, I pay for everything and take it off the cs card when it does get loaded. Look at it like "robbing peter to pay paul" when my child needs something like medicine I cant tell my son I'll get your medicine as soon as the state gives me your child support. That would make me a bad parent.
hmmmmm

Kennett, MO

#12 Nov 12, 2012
At this point, I'm going to guess that you have to pay child support and because your ex can get by without it, you don't think you should contribute to child care costs.
a parent

Tucker, GA

#13 Nov 12, 2012
Um no. I have sole physical custody of my 3 children. All under the ages of 14 years old, 2 of which are girls. Need I say more? Lol girls are super expensive. Assumptions only make an A** out of u n me..lol assume on. My x hands me money every month. Only the ones who don't have good x's like I do need those cards. I buy the left shoe he buys the right shoe. He knows its cheaper with them being here full time. I'm not going to assume anything abt your situation, because idk. MY point once again is you can't convince "some" parents don't abuse the child support payments.
mia

Jackson, MO

#14 Nov 12, 2012
If the child doesn't live with either parent them the child should get the mo net without the paying parent having to go through the court. The child is 17 and her mother has mani's, Pedi's and the dang dog gets groomed!!! Burns my A$$!!!
Doc

Kennett, MO

#15 Nov 13, 2012
child support isn't a govt. benefit. It is basically cash money to contribute to support of child in lieu of you not being there full time. You don't get to tell the custodial parent what she or he can or can't spend the money on. You pay your fair share or more and try to spend as much time with your child(ren) as possible to be a part of their lives as much as you possibly can. They didn't ask to be born. You made that choice and now you have to support them to the best of your ability emotionally and financially. If you think your money isn't getting to the child, try to have a discussion with the custodial parent. Or buy things for your child directly in addition to paying your support. You screwed things up when you chose to have a child with someone and didn't choose wisely. Don't make the child suffer for you and the other parent's mistakes.
NoNoNo

Blytheville, AR

#16 Nov 13, 2012
I did choose wisely (at the time) but as we all know some ppl fall into depression or guily over a divorce and the drug takes that person over. I refuse to pay my X a dime until my money is going on my children,,,NO her habit. And that the end of the story. So the bottom line here is im a dad and pay my money to jeff city and she abuses it. no the kids dont go w/out but she sure doesnt either. can i get i have a Prescription not a Problem? whatever the system sucks for the child and thats the sad thing!
Doc

Kennett, MO

#17 Nov 14, 2012
NoNoNo wrote:
I did choose wisely (at the time) but as we all know some ppl fall into depression or guily over a divorce and the drug takes that person over. I refuse to pay my X a dime until my money is going on my children,,,NO her habit. And that the end of the story. So the bottom line here is im a dad and pay my money to jeff city and she abuses it. no the kids dont go w/out but she sure doesnt either. can i get i have a Prescription not a Problem? whatever the system sucks for the child and thats the sad thing!
If the mother of your children is a drug addict or unfit, you have a moral obligation to your children to do something about it. You're worried about your money when you should be worried about your children. Do they not have anybody in their life who will stand up for them???
NoNoNo

Blytheville, AR

#18 Nov 14, 2012
LOL, tell the DFS ppl that. How many calls do u have to make? The system sucks. and i was also informed unless they test positive for meth or cocaine wont nothin be done. so pain pills and stuff like that they just go back a do a random p*ss test. so now we in court. u tell me what else to do. i didnt give my life story just abt how i can see and no parents do use the child support in other ways. my other situation is being dealt with in the courts.

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