created by: Mr Lover | Jul 28, 2009

Osceola, AR

547 votes

Can a married man be "just friends" with women?

Click on an option to vote

  • NO- it always leads to affairs
  • Only if she is a family friend
  • Yes- if she is happily married
  • Yes
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1 - 20 of 109 Comments Last updated Apr 13, 2014
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Hammer

Little Rock, AR

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#1
Jul 28, 2009
 
I slept with every female friend I ever had, even after I was married, several of them were married too!
Rock Star

Little Rock, AR

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#2
Jul 28, 2009
 
we always started out as "just friends" but ended up getting it on several times. but it was always the women who made the first move, they just needed someone to talk to
Mike

United States

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#3
Jul 28, 2009
 

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NO! it always leads to more and why run the risk if you are married and care about your marriage.
Just a Girl

Little Rock, AR

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#4
Jul 28, 2009
 

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Can a married man be "just friends" with women?

It depends...

Has she shown an interest in him sexually?
Then NO!!

Does she send him naked pictures of herself?
Then NO!!!!!!

Does he hide the fact that he is talking to her from his wife?
Then NO!!!!!!

Does he lie about talking to her after confronted by his wife or continue to talk to her even after his wife tells him not to?
Then NO!!!!!!!!!!

Listen up women.... if your man is doing any of these things there is a 100% chance he is cheating on you!!!!!!!!!! It should be you he is talking to and longing to hear from and see not another woman!!!!!!
well

Caraway, AR

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#5
Jul 28, 2009
 

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beware. It is not a good idea. a loving husband would never put himself in that situation. even calling it friends.
Sammy

Little Rock, AR

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#6
Jul 28, 2009
 
I have tried to be "just friends" with several different women and in the end they have all wanted more. I allowed a relationship with a women who I was "just friends" with break up a wonderful marriage. The bad part was I was not interested in my female friend in a sexual way, I just enjoyed talking to her... about everything. My wife was ok at first with the friendship, but as time went on I was talking more and more to my friend and less to my wife. My wife drew the line when she over-heard me talking to my female friend about our marriage issues instead of her ....what was I thinking? To make a long story short she said the friendship must end or she will leave, needless to say I told her it would, two months later I walk in the house and the cell phone bill is laying on the bed beside a note that said if you need someone to talk to call your friend!! I never stopped, I just changed her name in my contact list and tried to cover my tracks. The bad part of the story is the female friend was a ho and I never wanted to be with her, I just liked the gossip and hearing the drama in her life but it consumed me, and in the end I am the one who truely lost out. My wife is happily re-married and I only see my kids every other week-end.
Mike

United States

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#7
Jul 28, 2009
 
Sammy wrote:
I have tried to be "just friends" with several different women and in the end they have all wanted more. I allowed a relationship with a women who I was "just friends" with break up a wonderful marriage. The bad part was I was not interested in my female friend in a sexual way, I just enjoyed talking to her... about everything. My wife was ok at first with the friendship, but as time went on I was talking more and more to my friend and less to my wife. My wife drew the line when she over-heard me talking to my female friend about our marriage issues instead of her ....what was I thinking? To make a long story short she said the friendship must end or she will leave, needless to say I told her it would, two months later I walk in the house and the cell phone bill is laying on the bed beside a note that said if you need someone to talk to call your friend!! I never stopped, I just changed her name in my contact list and tried to cover my tracks. The bad part of the story is the female friend was a ho and I never wanted to be with her, I just liked the gossip and hearing the drama in her life but it consumed me, and in the end I am the one who truely lost out. My wife is happily re-married and I only see my kids every other week-end.
I can appreciate where you are coming from. I have a guy friend who has more drama in his life than any tv soap. And you do get kind of caught up in their drama. The good news is that it's a guy and not a girl. My wife gets a bit jealous of the time I spend talking to him. So I can imagine (no I don't want to imagine) how bad it might get if it was a lady I was talking to.
I really don't know why it's a bit intoxicating to listen to someone else's problems. Maybe that's it. It's somebody else. I wouldn't want to lose my wife for anything or anybody!!
Ramrod

Southlake, TX

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#8
Jul 28, 2009
 

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It really depends on the man.If he truly loves his wife and he is a 100% family man he can be friends with whom he chooses to. Personally I have more female friends than I do male,because my wife knows I love her and she also knows who I associate with.We are happily married and we have trust,and we plan on sharing the rest of our lives together.So yes A real man can be friends with a female,there is also a word known as no,just in case she wants more than just a friendship.
Tell Me

Little Rock, AR

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#9
Jul 28, 2009
 
Ramrod wrote:
It really depends on the man.If he truly loves his wife and he is a 100% family man he can be friends with whom he chooses to. Personally I have more female friends than I do male,because my wife knows I love her and she also knows who I associate with.We are happily married and we have trust,and we plan on sharing the rest of our lives together.So yes A real man can be friends with a female,there is also a word known as no,just in case she wants more than just a friendship.
But do you lie about talking to them? And if your wife felt uncomfortable about one of your female friends would you continue to talk to her? Just wondering......
Married Woman

Little Rock, AR

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#10
Jul 29, 2009
 

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Yes, men and women can be “just friends”. My husband has several close female friends who he talks to on the phone and in person all the time and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. I love and trust him with all my heart. He is a very good listener and has a great sense of humor that’s what makes him a wonderful husband, father, and friend. That being said, if a woman should try to cross the line of friendship I would insist the friendship end. What would I do if I found out he was receiving naked pictures or having secret conversations with a woman? Well, in an open relationship such as ours there should be no reason for secrecy. If I found out he was doing those things I would have to suspect that his relationship to the woman was more than “just friends” and had moved into the “friends with benefits” stage. Ladies, friends to not send out naked pictures to “just friends” there is something more there and if he is lying about talking to her, then he obviously is hiding something or has feelings for the other woman
whatev

Norman, OK

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#11
Jul 29, 2009
 
Tell Me wrote:
<quoted text>
But do you lie about talking to them? And if your wife felt uncomfortable about one of your female friends would you continue to talk to her? Just wondering......
most of the time, the reason why they lie to you about talking to them is because they know it will upset you and they don't wanna lose a friend. if you try to push him away from his friends he will just resent you.
Ramrod

Southlake, TX

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#12
Jul 29, 2009
 
Tell Me wrote:
<quoted text>
But do you lie about talking to them? And if your wife felt uncomfortable about one of your female friends would you continue to talk to her? Just wondering......
No I never lie to my wife,even though I never volunteer to tell her that I talked to another lady,but if my wife ask's me if I talked to so and so then I would tell her,I will never ever lie to my wife.I really don't think my wife is uncomfortabe with me talking to any of my friends,if she were I would probably try and work something out with her,because I am gonna talk to people no matter what.imt
Tell Me

United States

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#13
Jul 29, 2009
 
Ramrod wrote:
<quoted text>No I never lie to my wife,even though I never volunteer to tell her that I talked to another lady,but if my wife ask's me if I talked to so and so then I would tell her,I will never ever lie to my wife.I really don't think my wife is uncomfortabe with me talking to any of my friends,if she were I would probably try and work something out with her,because I am gonna talk to people no matter what.imt
Interesting, give us women insight on why it is so important these "just friends", most men insist their wives not have male friends, do you feel the same? I'm not trying to pick a fight... I would just like to understand what makes men have to have other women.
really

Blytheville, AR

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#14
Jul 30, 2009
 
Ramrod wrote:
<quoted text>No I never lie to my wife,even though I never volunteer to tell her that I talked to another lady,but if my wife ask's me if I talked to so and so then I would tell her,I will never ever lie to my wife.I really don't think my wife is uncomfortabe with me talking to any of my friends,if she were I would probably try and work something out with her,because I am gonna talk to people no matter what.imt
I'm not questioning what you are saying, but I am a firm believer in lying by omission. If there is nothing going on, why would one never tell his wife that he is talking to someone? I just dont understand the mentality here.

To: Tell Me
Yes, a man can be just friends with a woman. I'm not saying most men can, but some can. One big reason I would think they wouldnt tell her that they are talking to women is because of the reaction they know she will have. One thing I've learned in life is if your doubting your partner then there is something wrong. It may not be exactly what you think it is, but there is probably something wrong. Also, one can usually trust to the extent that they themselves can be trusted.
Are You

Little Rock, AR

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#15
Jul 30, 2009
 
Stupid can your wife go to her man friends home and visit without you? And does your lady friend have a husband or boy friend?
Married Woman

Little Rock, AR

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#16
Jul 30, 2009
 

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Really-
I don't think they are saying that a husband should tell his wife every conversation he has with another woman. I think for most women it is the fear of "is he forming a bond" with the other woman. When women say "secret conversations" we mean staying up to talk to another woman after we have went to bed, changing her name in your cell phone so that when we look at your phone it looks like your talking to your best friend, or buying another phone just to talk to her. Is that just friendship? I would like to state again that I agree women and men can be "just friends". I have plenty of men friends and my husband has plenty of women friends and there is nothing wrong with that. Lying by omission? Why? by your own reasoning if you two trust each other then you should be able to talk to your female friends while your wife is sitting right beside you. There should be nothing you are talking about that your wife could not overhear. I know that some women are jealous, but that is because we fear the unknown more than anything. I trust my husband so much because I know he tells me everything. In a town like this everyone knows everything about everybody, so your wife is going to hear all of your ommited lying and that is only going to put doubt in her mind about trust. Like I said before I'm not talking about speaking to a woman at the grocery store or a casual conversation with the next door neighbor.

I refer back to Sammy's post, he was talking to his female friend about his marital problems instead of his wife. The conversations and ability to talk to each other is what keeps a marriage strong. It must have been hearbreaking for his wife to discover not only did he not love her enough to confide in her but that he had such a close bond with this other woman that he confided in her instead. How can you be a good husband, or wife for that matter, if you are not putting in the effort to work on your marriage? Some men get so wrapped up in their "just friends" issues they forget that their wives need someone to talk to as well.
Ramrod

Grapevine, TX

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#17
Jul 30, 2009
 
Tell Me wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting, give us women insight on why it is so important these "just friends", most men insist their wives not have male friends, do you feel the same? I'm not trying to pick a fight... I would just like to understand what makes men have to have other women.
I believe that if a husband does not want his wife to have male friends,he is up to something,or he does not trust her.It takes two to make a marriage,also trust.My wife has and always will have male friends there is nothing wrong with that,also we can go to parties and neither one of us has to feel guilty about being there or who is gonna be there,also we can sit down with anyone in this world and carry on a conversation , and not get hit with a surprise, we know evrything about each other.whagm
Another Married Woman

United States

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#18
Jul 31, 2009
 
Ramrod wrote:
<quoted text>I believe that if a husband does not want his wife to have male friends,he is up to something,or he does not trust her.It takes two to make a marriage,also trust.My wife has and always will have male friends there is nothing wrong with that,also we can go to parties and neither one of us has to feel guilty about being there or who is gonna be there,also we can sit down with anyone in this world and carry on a conversation , and not get hit with a surprise, we know evrything about each other.whagm
You sound like a good husband, and you are right about trust.
sooo funny

Little Rock, AR

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#19
Jul 31, 2009
 
HELL TO THE NO!!!
Sure

Trumann, AR

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#20
Jul 31, 2009
 
If you don't mind your wife being friends with guys then I think it should be fine.

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