Why Do Women Settle 4 Low Quality Men?

Why Do Women Settle 4 Low Quality Men?

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Seeking Genuine Answers

United States

#1 Sep 8, 2011
I just don't get it. Maybe some folks on here have ideas on why women, even very beautiful woman, will pass up on successful, educated, decent and honest men for uneducated, unsuccessful, emotionally and physically abusive players.

I believe the answer lies in low self esteem. Many woman simply don't feel like they deserve better. Hence, they settle for less than what they should.

I have seen it from personal experience and also in the lives of friends and family.

Why do so many women on this area pass on the successful, decent men for low-life players???

Serious replies only. Let's make this topic a learning exercise.
possibly

London, KY

#2 Sep 8, 2011
They feel they are not educated & can't compare to the man's success. Maybe a man could have made one feel he'd be the one having to settle. Sure a woman may dream of how good & lovong she'd be to one. Then realizes all she has to offer is her heart. So back in the hole she goes. Plus a low life could have mede her feel unworthy of just about anything she feels she deserves or wants. Self worth kinda sinks along with hopes & dreams when a woman's programed to feel beneath a man. So some isolate themselves from the rest of the world. Feeling their man is the only one in the world that would have them!!!!!!!!!! Until someone shows her any different.
Also

Dyer, TN

#3 Sep 8, 2011
Women are born with that "Mother Instinct" and always want to be needed. We feel that a man who is educated, successful, and lovely to look at are reserved for women of the same type, like Barbie and Ken, and wouldn't need a women who could only offer companionship and faithfullness. Not many women feel like they are perfect. So, we cling to a low life, who may or may not have a decent job. One who may have abused before, but surely wouldn't again, if we only love them so much. The low lifes 'need' us. If only we could change this thinking, we could be so much happier.

Since: Sep 11

Location hidden

#4 Sep 8, 2011
I've seen very bright, intellegent woman go for low life men and I think it makes them fill like they are in control of something or that they have very low self esteem! I have a friend right now who is with a low life and it baffles my mind daily. She went from a wonderful husband to a low life, no working dirt bag.
woman who knows

France

#5 Sep 8, 2011
i work with a woman who is a christian. she feels like she should stay true to her vows. only it goes further.
her husband is impotent and has been in the nut house 2 or 3 times.
she said the bible says except for the cause of fornication a woman should not divorce her husband.
and since her husband is not capable of fornicating, she feels she should remain abstinent, and refrain from sex.

“Fighting Cancer”

Since: Aug 10

Location hidden

#6 Sep 8, 2011
Seeking Genuine Answers wrote:
I just don't get it. Maybe some folks on here have ideas on why women, even very beautiful woman, will pass up on successful, educated, decent and honest men for uneducated, unsuccessful, emotionally and physically abusive players.
I believe the answer lies in low self esteem. Many woman simply don't feel like they deserve better. Hence, they settle for less than what they should.
I have seen it from personal experience and also in the lives of friends and family.
Why do so many women on this area pass on the successful, decent men for low-life players???
Serious replies only. Let's make this topic a learning exercise.
Probably because the decent guys want to play the field, or none are interested in a long term thing.
happliy ever after

London, KY

#7 Sep 8, 2011
Also wrote:
Women are born with that "Mother Instinct" and always want to be needed. We feel that a man who is educated, successful, and lovely to look at are reserved for women of the same type, like Barbie and Ken, and wouldn't need a women who could only offer companionship and faithfullness. Not many women feel like they are perfect. So, we cling to a low life, who may or may not have a decent job. One who may have abused before, but surely wouldn't again, if we only love them so much. The low lifes 'need' us. If only we could change this thinking, we could be so much happier.
U said it right there... HAPPIER. We just want to better ourselves & recieve in reurn what we give. Happiness isn't hard to obtain when 2 are working together in my opinion. It's not a physical attraction that keeps a couple together happily. Yes it makes it strong but it's the connection between 2 people that makes or breaks it. Without that connection you're just sharing children & chores. TRUST is a main factor too. Without it you live in fear & fear controls you. So until there's an opportunity with security to get a chance to change, women stay in fear.
hmmm

Chicago, IL

#8 Sep 8, 2011
woman who knows wrote:
i work with a woman who is a christian. she feels like she should stay true to her vows. only it goes further.
her husband is impotent and has been in the nut house 2 or 3 times.
she said the bible says except for the cause of fornication a woman should not divorce her husband.
and since her husband is not capable of fornicating, she feels she should remain abstinent, and refrain from sex.
i guess they have the right to do what they feel is best.
hmmm

Chicago, IL

#9 Sep 8, 2011
Opiate Dreams wrote:
I've seen very bright, intellegent woman go for low life men and I think it makes them fill like they are in control of something or that they have very low self esteem! I have a friend right now who is with a low life and it baffles my mind daily. She went from a wonderful husband to a low life, no working dirt bag.
how can you give good advice? you cant even pass the spelling test.
gosh

Dyer, TN

#10 Sep 8, 2011
Have you ever heard the term,'anal retentive'?
hmmm wrote:
<quoted text>how can you give good advice? you cant even pass the spelling test.
Seeking Genuine Answers

Toledo, OH

#11 Sep 8, 2011
Thanks for all the good thoughts and for keeping this, for the most part, a serious discussion. Very good discussion thus far.

It truly makes me sad to this this scenario repeated so often. So many women deserve better than what they have settled for. I agree with much of what has been said. I am a single man who has always prided myself on being an honest and trustworthy companion, worked hard to achieve a high level of success, and always lived by the golden rule. I stay in great shape physically and I have always freely given of myself emotionally. I am successful by most anyone's standards, generous, kind-hearted, compassionate and a wonderful listener. Yet, I see time and time again beautiful deserving women entangled with guys who just abuse them and play them. If a sweet , lovely woman is single , then often she will close herself off and won't allow a decent man an opportunity to show
her how to truly be loved and respected and cherished. It's very sad, extremely frustrating, and often hard to understand. I pray that more women learn to love and appreciate just what a special gift they are to themselves and to the world.
no expert

Somerset, KY

#12 Sep 8, 2011
and I could be wrong. But I think that there is a difference between what a women knows that she should like and what she is attracted to. Women know they should like guys who are humble and romantic natured but they are usually not attracted to those types so they don't go for them.
Maybe it's an evolution thing that goes back to caveman times or something. But perhaps they go for cocky, assholish type guys because subconsicously they associate agressive behavior in a male as a sign that they are more virile.
Once again, I will stress that I could possibly be wrong. Hell, Freud couldn't figure out women so there is no good reason to assume that I could.
JDH

Chicago, IL

#14 Jul 16, 2013
Usually one of two possibilities. Either they are trash or they have very low self esteme.
playa

Vicco, KY

#15 Jul 17, 2013
JDH wrote:
Usually one of two possibilities. Either they are trash or they have very low self esteme.
this statement here is a fact! all the females today are trash that's why they want trash. just like the ole saying,,, you run with your own kind,,, nuff said
Visitor

Dayton, OH

#16 Jul 17, 2013
This type of thing actually drives me insane! I am well-educated, earn a six figure salary, and am as genuine as possible; yet, many of the women I am attracted to end up dating (or marrying) men who have zero motivation. They don't seek employment, they don't seek education or any other way to benefit themselves, and they choose to live off the system.

I know that I am certainly not an Adonis when it comes to the looks department, but nor am I disgusting in any way.

It's crazy! Maybe the "bad-boy" stigma is more powerful than the "successful" stigma.
old whitley

Harrison, AR

#18 Aug 29, 2013
im old and the love thing is over for me..but women who are strong,wealthy,intellegent and can stand alone..usually feel sorry for loosers and trash and try tohelp them..it is wasted effort but they try anyway that's why people are baffeled..they keep trying to change them and no one can change anyone the person must change themselves if they even want to..
most go right back to loosers...the best thing is take good care of you and if you find a person that works like you that is one to share a life with
local

United States

#19 Aug 30, 2013
I'm still waiting on a successful man... It seems to me the other way around... Decent guys are attracted to women on welfare with 3 kids!
Nicole

Southern Pines, NC

#20 Jun 22, 2015
local wrote:
I'm still waiting on a successful man... It seems to me the other way around... Decent guys are attracted to women on welfare with 3 kids!
Umm... I know this was commented on quite a while ago but maybe YOUR problem is that you're judgemental. Just because a woman is on welfare with 3 kids that doesn't mean she's low quality. Her SITUATION sucks but that doesn't make her any less of an amazing woman. You don't even know what her circumstances were that put her there so... Don't judge. She could be widowed or recently divorced and only on welfare for a short period of time until she gets on her feet. Maybe your issue is that you're shallow.
TBe

Grand Rapids, MI

#21 Jun 22, 2015
Most women are so messed up mentally there is no trying to figure them out.
like really

Winchester, KY

#22 Jun 22, 2015
Women in London settle for low quality men because there really is no high quality guys around here all there is is a bunch of mamma's boys looking for someone to take care of them so they can lay on the couch all day playing the Xbox talking on their cell phone eating everything in the house and of course taking a nap in between each

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