Windbreakers
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Beanboy

London, KY

#21 Mar 20, 2013
Bean boy wrote:
My stomach hurts. I'm headin to Walmart. Seems like if I walk around a while the pain eases up. Usually there are a lot of senior citizens in there walking around too. I just get behind one of the seniors and let one go, and then pass them up. That way they get blamed for it. They are a little stinky anyway so no one really pays much attention.
Hey someone just got on here acting like they was Beanboy. I am the real Beanboy. I would never do that to a senior citizen. First of all, I could never catch up with them. Second, it just ain't right to do that. They walk for fitness. I have noticed that walking around does help ease the pain. I did let one go and a senior walked into it. I wanted to apologize but the lady was so mad I hated to say anything. She looked over at the old man walking with her and said "Was that you?" He said,"No thought it was you." That's when she got mad.
LOL

Melvin, KY

#22 Mar 20, 2013
You guys are so funny ! Made me smile this morning.
Beanboy

London, KY

#23 Mar 20, 2013
Ok I realize that this may not seem to be a big deal to some people butt I need help here. This gas problem had leaked into the bedroom. My wife told me she loved me butt could not deal with my problem any more. I guess I shouldn't have fixed that chili. I don't know what to do. I know I have a problem. So I end up at Walmart. It's like an addiction. Then I saw an elderly man walk by and I followed. He cut down an aisle and as he rounded the corner he let one go. Man, he was an artist. He played that horn like a Marine band trumpeter. Through the fog and though my eyes burned and I baby barfed a couple of times I kept following. He threw a glance over his shoulder and stopped. I froze. He turned to me and said "You following me?" I said, " It's a free country. " He said, "What's your name son?" I said, " Beanboy" ..........to be continued.
Old Man

Hebron, IL

#24 Mar 20, 2013
Hey beanboy, pretty soon they will be regulating where we can release this painful gas. I mean it's pitiful all the things they are doing to us. Looks like we will just have to save up some and let em go outside. Oops, can't do that neither cause we'd probably get fined. What's a guy with gas problems to do. I guess we'll just have to try being disguised and have better, faster moves when the afterburners kick in.
Beanboy

London, KY

#25 Mar 21, 2013
He said," I knew you would come." I said, " What do you mean?" He said," We've been looking for you. We detected high levels of pure methane and have been watching you for some time. We think you are the chosen one." I said," I'm just a boy, just a boy from East Bernstadt." He said, "You have special powers far beyond that of regular Laurel Countians. " I said, " Butt I can't control them. " He said, " We will train you in the ways of the..........Then I woke up. I had fallen asleep. My wife said," It stinks so bad in here your gonna have to go to the couch. " She said " We are out of Febreeze. If you get out tomorrow go by Walmart!" I smiled.
Old Man

Ripon, WI

#26 Mar 21, 2013
Thats good. I always have to go to walmart. It's just a good place to go and feel free. I tell you, I like that deodorizing aisle. Man, there is all kind of good smeelin stuff in there, but I dont think there is anything that will cover up those silent but deadly gas releases. They smell like dead skunk. That stuff will burn you nostril hairs man. Those kind will put febreze in second place.
Bean boy

London, KY

#27 Mar 22, 2013
I called the gas company. I told em I had a gas problem. They sent me to several different extensions. Finally the lady said that if this was a joke they didn't have time for childish pranks. I told her I was a full grown man and if she would just listen I thought I could make me and her both some money. She hung up. I called the people that sell the gas grill tanks and the guy laughed and said how would we capture the gas. I decided that this would be too embarrassing for me to do. I don't want to have to sit on one of those tanks all day. People would think I'm a freak or something. I guess I will never find a solution to my problem.
Beanboy

London, KY

#28 Mar 23, 2013
Old Man you been at this longer than me. How do you live with our condition and still keep the romance alive.
Old Man

Whitewater, WI

#29 Mar 23, 2013
Get some of them pine scent plug-ins. You'll think you are out in the deep woods under a pine tree. It ain't nothing. Those yankee candle scents keep it down a little. Just makes you feel like a real outdoorsman on a nature trip. If that enough just make yourself think that you are under a pine tree in Chicago or some really polluted city. When I lived in Florida there was a paper plant in Panama city and it smelled awful, Made you think that we were all in Walmart at the same time on a mission. Man, nothing would kill that smell. It was like being locked in the outhouse and no way out. What torcher.
bubbastank

London, KY

#30 Mar 23, 2013
the thang about the pine scent,it makes it smell like someone chit a christmas tree.

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