janna

Abbotsford, Canada

#108 Apr 8, 2014
Sometimes its better to keep silent, I and my brother were abandoned by are mother I was 2 and my brother was 1 we lived in B,C, are mother ran to louisianna to live with a man. while in foster care are foster dad molested us on a regular basis. we live with a big family of 11 children. 4 older children were molested til they moved out, are foster father was there step dad, after they moved out he had 5 of his own children who he did not molest, when they took my brother and myself in he molested us while his wife new and did nothing I tried to tell her that dad was touching me and hurting me, she told me never to talk like that again. I tried to tell foster brothers, they just called me a lier, so it was kept quiet, today my brother is a homosexual shunned by the foster family , my foster father was charged with an indesent assult and sexual assult, outside the home , yet ministry kept us in the home I was 12 my brother was 11, we remained in the home to be molested no one said anything and he has molested many children my foster parents have passed on my brother is a homosexual I have been married now 29 year 2 sons and 2 granddaughters, weare both shunned by that family, I have contacted the human resources regarding being moested they knew that molestation was takeing place at that time there was even a newspaper article regarding the indesent assult that took place when I was 12, all the human resources said was that they were sorry, and today it has all been kept quiet, I have learned to forget it ever happened and move on sometimes maybe that's for the best.
Was Willing

United States

#109 Apr 9, 2014
I'm a man in my 40's. When I was almost 16, a 35 year old married female family member seduced me. We were not blood related as she married into the family. The sex went on for several months until she got divorced and moved away. I've never seen or heard from her since then,'80's.

With all that transpired during the months of the affair, I became a sex addict and it still dominates much of my life.

I feel like I was violated because my time as a youth was interrupted. I started seeking older, experienced women, instead of girls my age. Even though I still see the first time with her as the most thrilling sexual experience of my life, I know I was too young to have an affair with a man's wife. My hormones were raging at that age, and she knew how to get my attention. It still vexes me today.

I would love to see her. It's been 28 years. I'm married now and so is she. We are about 125 miles apart. It is strange; I do not have ill feelings toward her, but I would love to ask her why she chose me back than, at that age.

Any advice?
logwoods

London, KY

#110 Apr 13, 2014
Nobody ever heals unless they seek counseling and talk about it. One in four girls is molested as a child. It is a shame!!! To many men who are warped and just scoundrels! Women who have been molested gt fat to keep predators away.....
The law seldom does anything. Usually because the child won't testify and cannot stand to confront the molester.
Nobody deserves to be upset for life because of a demon like that.
Heal yourself by talking with someone and confronting if you can.
A+

Whitley City, KY

#111 May 2, 2014
venting wrote:
I was raped 4 years ago by my ex boyfriends friends friend if that makes sense. I went to my ex's house he was having a party i got too drunk and was put into his moms bedroom. My ex's friends friend came in while i was past out and he raped me twice. He used condoms, i remember because i woke up at the end when he was flushing them down the toilet. I didn't know what to do or who to talk to because i dont trust anyone i watch enough svu to know that nothing can really be done. No one knows this dark secret that i carry and if you knew me you would NEVER guess that i have been raped ever. I play it off well but i still dont trust anyone enough to tell them. I dont want to be judged or looked at differently but i have a wonderful boyfriend that i have been with for a year now and he is so understanding but i just dont know how to tell him. Or if i even want to. I dont want anyone to know. Im ashamed of myself. Now everytime i get drunk i get violent and i say nasty things to my boyfriend now and i think it is because i was raped while i was drunk. As the days go by i want to tell my boyfriend more and more but i just dont want us to break up one day and then the whole world knows my dark secret. This is the first time i actually put all these thoughts down and out into the world.
My suggestion would be for you to stay sober.
You are not alone

London, KY

#112 May 3, 2014
My father was an abusive monster who beat my mother,raped and molested my sister and exhibited grooming behavior towards me. My mother's brother molested me. The more you try to keep it hidden the more it eats away at your soul. I have never felt more free then when I told the truth about what happened to my mom,fiance and friends. You can overcome being abused.
Struggling

Newburgh, IN

#113 May 5, 2014
Three years ago I was molested by my volleyball coach during my one on one training with him. He never raped me but he'd touch me high on my ribs and legs and would grab my hips and slap my bum and he grabbed my chest quite often. I've always been too scared to tell anyone until tonight when I learned that the head coach knew and told my parents. I just told my boyfriend about this he's the first person I've told. I don't feel human anymore.. I've always felt horribly about myself and that it was my fault and was punishment for something I did.. I've always felt tainted. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is being incredibly supportive, comforting me and telling me that it's over and that I'm safe, but I never truly feel safe. I'm Fifteen now! And my friend who also trained with him was molested too. Any advice on how to cope would be extremely appreciated.. Xx
cathyg

Sicklerville, NJ

#114 Jun 2, 2014
I was raped some time ago, close to 30 years ago I never got the counseling though because I had refused it; I did not want to see the man again. I have had anger issues for many years.
I am now seeing it destroy precious relationships in my life. Does anyone know if counseling is still available for me?
trying to forget wrote:
I was molested when I was very young. He was my cousin, someone my parents trusted to watch me and my sister while they worked. He never touched my sister, Thank God! I assume it was because she was to young, mind you we are only 18 months apart, but it also could have been because I was overly developed for my age and she still looked like to much of a child. I never told anyone except for my sister, but since she was there when it happened a couple of times she new anyway. He is still around and only certain people know now. I never told anyone as I got older and understood what he did to me was wrong because I didn't want my family to hate me, so I kept it to myself. I told my mom as I got older, but I didn't really get the reaction I had expected. She was molested as a child also for many years by her step father. I think she doesn't really want to cope with my abuse when she still has even come close to handling hers. It has seriously affected my life as it has hers. I just wish I knew how to get past this because I don't want to be like my mom. I don't want this to mess with my life for the rest of my life. I want to get through this so I can move on. I still see him everyonce in awhile. I use to speak to him because I was usually with a family member, but now I don't speak to him at all. I avoid him if at all possible. I need help. I don't know what to do!
geezelouise

Manchester, KY

#115 Jun 4, 2014
Struggling wrote:
Three years ago I was molested by my volleyball coach during my one on one training with him. He never raped me but he'd touch me high on my ribs and legs and would grab my hips and slap my bum and he grabbed my chest quite often. I've always been too scared to tell anyone until tonight when I learned that the head coach knew and told my parents. I just told my boyfriend about this he's the first person I've told. I don't feel human anymore.. I've always felt horribly about myself and that it was my fault and was punishment for something I did.. I've always felt tainted. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend is being incredibly supportive, comforting me and telling me that it's over and that I'm safe, but I never truly feel safe. I'm Fifteen now! And my friend who also trained with him was molested too. Any advice on how to cope would be extremely appreciated.. Xx
thats not being molested dear.you need to do a little research as to what being molested means.if you feel bad about yourself over that then you will never make it through life.if thats the worst you ever have to deal with consider yourself blessed.
Go online

Dublin, GA

#120 Jul 18, 2014
trying to forget wrote:
I was molested when I was very young. He was my cousin, someone my parents trusted to watch me and my sister while they worked. He never touched my sister, Thank God! I assume it was because she was to young, mind you we are only 18 months apart, but it also could have been because I was overly developed for my age and she still looked like to much of a child. I never told anyone except for my sister, but since she was there when it happened a couple of times she new anyway. He is still around and only certain people know now. I never told anyone as I got older and understood what he did to me was wrong because I didn't want my family to hate me, so I kept it to myself. I told my mom as I got older, but I didn't really get the reaction I had expected. She was molested as a child also for many years by her step father. I think she doesn't really want to cope with my abuse when she still has even come close to handling hers. It has seriously affected my life as it has hers. I just wish I knew how to get past this because I don't want to be like my mom. I don't want this to mess with my life for the rest of my life. I want to get through this so I can move on. I still see him everyonce in awhile. I use to speak to him because I was usually with a family member, but now I don't speak to him at all. I avoid him if at all possible. I need help. I don't know what to do!
you can go online, just type in surviving childhood sexual abuse, there are several sites to help you get started in recovery.
Concerned

Dublin, GA

#121 Jul 18, 2014
geezelouise wrote:
<quoted text>
thats not being molested dear.you need to do a little research as to what being molested means.if you feel bad about yourself over that then you will never make it through life.if thats the worst you ever have to deal with consider yourself blessed.
you can go to the RAINN website for help & recovery
Concerned

United States

#125 Jul 19, 2014
janna wrote:
Sometimes its better to keep silent, I and my brother were abandoned by are mother I was 2 and my brother was 1 we lived in B,C, are mother ran to louisianna to live with a man. while in foster care are foster dad molested us on a regular basis. we live with a big family of 11 children. 4 older children were molested til they moved out, are foster father was there step dad, after they moved out he had 5 of his own children who he did not molest, when they took my brother and myself in he molested us while his wife new and did nothing I tried to tell her that dad was touching me and hurting me, she told me never to talk like that again. I tried to tell foster brothers, they just called me a lier, so it was kept quiet, today my brother is a homosexual shunned by the foster family , my foster father was charged with an indesent assult and sexual assult, outside the home , yet ministry kept us in the home I was 12 my brother was 11, we remained in the home to be molested no one said anything and he has molested many children my foster parents have passed on my brother is a homosexual I have been married now 29 year 2 sons and 2 granddaughters, weare both shunned by that family, I have contacted the human resources regarding being moested they knew that molestation was takeing place at that time there was even a newspaper article regarding the indesent assult that took place when I was 12, all the human resources said was that they were sorry, and today it has all been kept quiet, I have learned to forget it ever happened and move on sometimes maybe that's for the best.
you can get help online privately. It might help & it couldn't hurt. Pandora's Project is one website that you can go look at.
Sincere

Atlanta, GA

#127 Jul 19, 2014
[QUOTE who="A+"]<quoted text>
My suggestion would be for you to stay sober.[/QUOTE] that isn't helpful, it's hurtful. My suggestion is to write it in a. It'd & hand it to him that is how I finally broke my silence & told my husband. I had suffered a lot of struggles for years trying to protect others & myself also from this. It took a lot from me. Tell someone it will help you feel better. You deserve to be helped with getting on with your life now
Sincere

Atlanta, GA

#128 Jul 19, 2014
Sincere wrote:
<quoted text> that isn't helpful, it's hurtful. My suggestion is to write it in a. It'd & hand it to him that is how I finally broke my silence & told my husband. I had suffered a lot of struggles for years trying to protect others & myself also from this. It took a lot from me. Tell someone it will help you feel better. You deserve to be helped with getting on with your life now
write it in a note. I meant.
Hope

Dublin, GA

#129 Jul 20, 2014
BeenThere wrote:
I was abused when I was 3 years old and by multiple boys who my parents trusted until I was 7. I tried to tell my mom when I was 6 but she didn't believe me. One day at school I told my best friend after watching a video about inappropriate "touching" and he told my teacher who contacted police. The boys admitted what they did but they were minors at the time so nothing happened to them. I went to counseling for awhile but I didn't think it helped. I never blamed myself for what they did and I hope others will see THEY are the victim, not the abuser. My parents have always been supportive and now my husband is as well b/c as much as I would like it not to, it still bothers me 26 years later. I do take comfort in knowing those boys (men now) will run and hide and this bible verse as well:
Rom 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
if the counseling didn't help you can join this website Pandora's Project. It will help with dreams & flashbacks.
Truth

Carrollton, GA

#130 Jul 22, 2014
According to statistics a lot of people have been raped or molested & waited years to tell anyone. There is help out there & it is never too late.
Confused

Lubbock, TX

#132 Aug 4, 2014
I was molested as a child luckily it didn't go on too terribly long but I have struggled with it my entire life. It was my step brother who did it and I never told anyone until I told my husband. I had to tell home because I was struggling with the way he would touch me sometimes so it was the only way I could get him to stop. I was so glad I told him because he was understanding and worked through the intimacy issues I was feeling. I pretty much resolved myself to never tell my family because it would only upset them and make them feel guilty for not doing anything to stop it. This has been ok with me until now. My cousin who is like a sister was just raped and I've been trying to help her. It is bringing up so many of my own issues. I want so badly to tell her so I can help her but then I feel like my situation wasn't as bad and wouldn't help her cope at all then I feel like that would only add to the stress she is feeling. I am not sure if I should tell my family and her to help her cope and help her deal with the issues she will face. I feel that I could help by sharing my feelings of guilt and shame for what had happened to me so she can process her own. She is blaming herself for what happened and I want to tell her it took me years to understand I was a victim and I want to help her process that. I just don't want to add to her stress or my family's stress right now. I just don't know if telling will help or hurt the situation. In a way I feel like her rape was so much worse than the muleststion I experienced as a child so I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or insight would help. Thanks.
No no no

Somerset, KY

#133 Aug 5, 2014
Keep your mouth shut about your own molestation.
It's not going to help you or your cousin any by telling her about your own situation.

If you dig deep enough into your own motives, you may just find that you're wanting to out your step brother now because you secretly want the support and attention this is bringing to your cousin.
Search your heart for answers.

I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but am just stating facts for you to think about.

A big reveal of your molestation will not help your cousin feel any better about her rape. Your best bet is to sit and listen when she wants to talk and not force her to talk if she doesn't want to.

You aren't qualified to give advice to a rape victim just because you were molested.. You are however qualified to listen.
(Do not try to make her talk about anything she's not ready to reveal).

I don't know how many times I have to repeat this: Just listen!!!
Confused

Lubbock, TX

#134 Aug 6, 2014
No no no wrote:
Keep your mouth shut about your own molestation.
It's not going to help you or your cousin any by telling her about your own situation.
If you dig deep enough into your own motives, you may just find that you're wanting to out your step brother now because you secretly want the support and attention this is bringing to your cousin.
Search your heart for answers.
I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but am just stating facts for you to think about.
A big reveal of your molestation will not help your cousin feel any better about her rape. Your best bet is to sit and listen when she wants to talk and not force her to talk if she doesn't want to.
You aren't qualified to give advice to a rape victim just because you were molested.. You are however qualified to listen.
(Do not try to make her talk about anything she's not ready to reveal).
I don't know how many times I have to repeat this: Just listen!!!
Thank you for your advice. I have absolutely no desire to out by step brother. He is not even part of any of my family's lives. I honestly just wanted her to know that I had been violated and could somewhat understand her thought process. I have just been sitting with her and listening. I am not forcing her to talk because I would never want someone to force me to talk about all of my issues. She really is opening up quite a bit though. I love her so much and just want to be here for her. That is truly my only intention. I have never wanted to share what happened to me except I just felt it might help but I was also worried it might make things more difficult. Thanks for your advice.
To confused

Anniston, AL

#135 Aug 6, 2014
Confused wrote:
I was molested as a child luckily it didn't go on too terribly long but I have struggled with it my entire life. It was my step brother who did it and I never told anyone until I told my husband. I had to tell home because I was struggling with the way he would touch me sometimes so it was the only way I could get him to stop. I was so glad I told him because he was understanding and worked through the intimacy issues I was feeling. I pretty much resolved myself to never tell my family because it would only upset them and make them feel guilty for not doing anything to stop it. This has been ok with me until now. My cousin who is like a sister was just raped and I've been trying to help her. It is bringing up so many of my own issues. I want so badly to tell her so I can help her but then I feel like my situation wasn't as bad and wouldn't help her cope at all then I feel like that would only add to the stress she is feeling. I am not sure if I should tell my family and her to help her cope and help her deal with the issues she will face. I feel that I could help by sharing my feelings of guilt and shame for what had happened to me so she can process her own. She is blaming herself for what happened and I want to tell her it took me years to understand I was a victim and I want to help her process that. I just don't want to add to her stress or my family's stress right now. I just don't know if telling will help or hurt the situation. In a way I feel like her rape was so much worse than the muleststion I experienced as a child so I'm not sure what to do. Any advice or insight would help. Thanks.
whatever was done to you took your first sexual experiences away from being what you chose. That is more damaging than others know. Call a hotline for sex abuse & get good advice or go online to the RAINN website as someone else already suggested. It would probably be a great comfort to your cousin to tell her what had been done to you. No one tells a robbery victim to keep it quiet why would anyone tell you not to tell your cousin? That seems fishy to me & selfish. Is it wrong for you to offer her comfort or even receive support yourself? Check online surviving childhood sex abuse. No expert would advice you to keep it to yourself. Good luck to you both I know you will be a support system for each other. God Bless you both.
To confused

Anniston, AL

#136 Aug 6, 2014
No no no wrote:
Keep your mouth shut about your own molestation.
It's not going to help you or your cousin any by telling her about your own situation.
If you dig deep enough into your own motives, you may just find that you're wanting to out your step brother now because you secretly want the support and attention this is bringing to your cousin.
Search your heart for answers.
I'm not meaning to sound harsh, but am just stating facts for you to think about.
A big reveal of your molestation will not help your cousin feel any better about her rape. Your best bet is to sit and listen when she wants to talk and not force her to talk if she doesn't want to.
You aren't qualified to give advice to a rape victim just because you were molested.. You are however qualified to listen.
(Do not try to make her talk about anything she's not ready to reveal).
I don't know how many times I have to repeat this: Just listen!!!
I have to believe you are not a sex abuse counselor from this strange advice. I am and this is not what we are taught to advice. I know you may be well meaning but this mite do damage to someone who was molested. I hope that no one is ever accused of being selfish for sharing their abuse to another victim! It is practiced in group therapy all over the world everyday & thousands of therapists can not be wrong. That is why there are support groups for other situations like addicts, weightloss, losing a spouse, folks do what you are saying not to do all over the world for many reasons.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Keavy Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
KY 'Fox News Sunday' to Host Kentucky Senate Debate (Oct '10) 9 min Le Jimbo 153,984
KY What's mitch McConnell done for coal, when ther... 24 min Stop The War On Coal 5,455
Haulers lic 54 min Truck driver 4
what's being built in gray on 25e in knox county? 1 hr yolanda 12
London women's care 1 hr yolanda 1
KY Hundreds of birds die in western Ky. (Jan '11) 1 hr put that spoon 81,642
Allsion Grimes/Slum Lord 1 hr JFK 1
•••
•••
•••

Keavy Jobs

•••
•••
•••

Keavy People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••

Keavy News, Events & Info

Click for news, events and info in Keavy
•••

Personal Finance

Mortgages [ See current mortgage rates ]
•••