Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#1 Nov 6, 2012
Got this today....kinda funny but reminds me of the Republican partisan attachment to the red-blue map by counties carried as if that proves something (hint: most counties are red, including counties with more cows than people). This is the same kinda bogus argument from the other side, but I put it out there for discussion anyhow.

It's kinda like the KU-KState rivalry (or Texas-Texas A&M, Michigan-Michigan State, etc.) except things that matter like Supreme Court appointments, hinge on it.

Anyhow, here it is:

Dear Red States: We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving. We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly:You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulphur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. Sincerely, Citizen of the Enlightened States of America < http://www.facebook.com/email_open_log_pic.ph... ;
ColorMeBlue

Selah, WA

#2 Nov 6, 2012
Sign me up!
yeah but

Junction City, KS

#3 Nov 6, 2012
But the Enlightened States don`t get Jan Brewer, Nikki Haley, the Koch Brothers, Sam Brownback, Kris Kobach, Rick Santorum, or Michelle Bachmann. Oops ! Forgot. Never mind, the Red States can have them too !

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#4 Nov 6, 2012
yeah but wrote:
But the Enlightened States don`t get Jan Brewer, Nikki Haley, the Koch Brothers, Sam Brownback, Kris Kobach, Rick Santorum, or Michelle Bachmann. Oops ! Forgot. Never mind, the Red States can have them too !
Eh, technically Santorum and Bachmann are residents of Blue States, but if they'd migrate to Red Ones they could rise quickly.

Which brings to mind if we split the Union assunder, what'd happen? A lot of things, but #1'd be the Blue States'd have one hell of an illegal immigrant - incoming refugees problem.
see ya Roo

United States

#5 Nov 6, 2012
Don't let the for hit you in the back side, and don't come knocking on the red states door when you're blue nation is bankrupt in a year or two from reckless uncontrolled spending.

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#6 Nov 6, 2012
see ya Roo wrote:
Don't let the for hit you in the back side, and don't come knocking on the red states door when you're blue nation is bankrupt in a year or two from reckless uncontrolled spending.
If you really think such would occur, you are stupider than I figured. Most likely you are just crawfishin' here.

Most excessive government waste occurs in Red States. It is the Red States which are a drain on the national economy and budget.

But you already knew that. You are just trying here to fool the gullible.

First thing Red America'd do if freed from having to obey the constitution is institute a theocracy and we'd have half the high schoolers and 90% of the college students jumping the border, not to mention the best members of the armed forces.

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